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Author Topic: You know you're a pagan when  (Read 21054 times)

AlisonLeighLilly

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Re: You know you're a pagan when...
« Reply #15 on: July 06, 2011, 07:18:54 pm »
Quote from: SatSekhem;2196
You know you're a pagan when in Religion 101 you were disappointed that YOUR gods weren't covered.

 
You know you're a Pagan when you can quote passages from the Bible more accurately than many Christians and have even done some research about the original polytheistic origins of the Old Testament. ;)

Sage

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Re: You know you're a pagan when...
« Reply #16 on: July 06, 2011, 07:20:01 pm »
Quote from: AlisonLeighLilly;2199
You know you're a Pagan when you can quote passages from the Bible more accurately than many Christians and have even done some research about the original polytheistic origins of the Old Testament. ;)

 
You know you're a Pagan when your final paper for Hebrew Bible class started with the question "Where did God come from, anyway?"
Maker, though the darkness comes upon me,
I shall embrace the light. I shall weather the storm.
I shall endure.
What you have created, no one can tear asunder.

-Canticle of Trials 1:10

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Castus

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Re: You know you're a pagan when...
« Reply #17 on: July 06, 2011, 07:33:19 pm »
Quote from: Sage;2202
You know you're a Pagan when your final paper for Hebrew Bible class started with the question "Where did God come from, anyway?"


You know you're a Pagan when you stub your toe and exclaim "By the Gods!" and everyone stares at you.

SatSekhem

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Re: You know you're a pagan when...
« Reply #18 on: July 06, 2011, 07:37:41 pm »
Quote from: Castus;2215
You know you're a Pagan when you stub your toe and exclaim "By the Gods!" and everyone stares at you.

 
You know you're a pagan when you dislike the Christian Bible for being way too strict for fun-loving people.
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In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move. - Douglas Adams

Ladywhitewolf

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Re: You know you're a pagan when...
« Reply #19 on: July 07, 2011, 12:35:09 am »
Quote from: Sage;1630
THE place for "You might be a Pagan if..." jokes. Share ones you find or make up yourself. I'll go first.


You know you are a Pagan if you have over 40 books on the topic and you forgot which ones you have read.
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mandrina

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Re: You know you're a pagan when...
« Reply #20 on: July 07, 2011, 08:33:29 am »
Quote from: Sage;1630
THE place for "You might be a Pagan if..." jokes. Share ones you find or make up yourself. I'll go first.

 ;D)

You might be a pagan if you find yourself explaining the story of Jericho to your kids, using the actual Bible, after they've watched the VeggieTales version, so they know the difference between what's in the book and the bowdlerized sanitized version usually presented to kids.  Not to mention asking how they would feel if they were the jerichoians, how much would they like that god?

And you still have the video and can and do still sing 'Keep Walking' cause d---t, it's cute.
« Last Edit: July 07, 2011, 08:35:22 am by mandrina »
Katrina

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AlisonLeighLilly

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Re: You know you're a pagan when...
« Reply #21 on: July 07, 2011, 08:07:50 pm »
Quote from: Sage;1630
THE place for "You might be a Pagan if..." jokes. Share ones you find or make up yourself.

 
You know you're a Pagan when your kids make sure to correct the neighbors' kids that "Harry Potter magic isn't real. My mom does real magic."

Valentine

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Re: You know you're a pagan when...
« Reply #22 on: July 07, 2011, 09:33:05 pm »
Quote from: AlisonLeighLilly;2199
You know you're a Pagan when you can quote passages from the Bible more accurately than many Christians and have even done some research about the original polytheistic origins of the Old Testament. ;)


At seminary, I have often been known to help the priests and monks and well-scrubbed Lutherans with their Bible homework.

...you know you're a pagan when nobody wants to explain to the in-laws why the house has so many very important sticks and rocks in it.
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Mata

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Re: You know you're a pagan when...
« Reply #23 on: July 07, 2011, 09:42:47 pm »
Quote from: AlisonLeighLilly;2722
You know you're a Pagan when your kids make sure to correct the neighbors' kids that "Harry Potter magic isn't real. My mom does real magic."

 
Love it!

You know you're a pagan when you're reading mythology books to your younger sister and constantly correct the book and go into long winded, unintentional caveats about how the book is inaccurate when it boils gods down to 'god of music... goddess of love etc.' :o
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Castus

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Re: You know you're a pagan when...
« Reply #24 on: July 07, 2011, 10:20:53 pm »
Quote from: mata;2790
You know you're a pagan when...

You nearly apoplexy when your teacher, explaining the Olympic Games and their origins, calls the gods "vile" because of their technically incestuous marriages. And then you pray to make sure Hera doesn't strike her down. Or Zeus, but I don't think he really gives a fuck.

HeartShadow

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Re: You know you're a pagan when...
« Reply #25 on: July 08, 2011, 10:42:09 am »
Quote from: Castus;2803
You nearly apoplexy when your teacher, explaining the Olympic Games and their origins, calls the gods "vile" because of their technically incestuous marriages. And then you pray to make sure Hera doesn't strike her down. Or Zeus, but I don't think he really gives a fuck.

 
You know, I think the problem was that Zeus gave too MANY fucks, not that he didn't give enough ....

*runs, dodges lightning*

Ocelot

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Re: You know you're a pagan when...
« Reply #26 on: July 08, 2011, 11:49:58 am »
Quote from: HeartShadow;2937
You know, I think the problem was that Zeus gave too MANY fucks, not that he didn't give enough ....

*runs, dodges lightning*


*Snorts* Thanks, Shad. I needed that laugh.
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DragonDaughter

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Re: You know you're a pagan when...
« Reply #27 on: July 08, 2011, 11:56:11 am »
Quote from: HeartShadow;2937
You know, I think the problem was that Zeus gave too MANY fucks, not that he didn't give enough ....

*runs, dodges lightning*

 
:D You win the internets today!
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AlisonLeighLilly

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Re: You know you're a pagan when...
« Reply #28 on: July 11, 2011, 10:48:35 pm »
Quote from: Sage;1630
THE place for "You might be a Pagan if..." jokes. Share ones you find or make up yourself.

 
You know you're a Pagan when you are WAY TOO EXCITED about the new Pixar movie, "Brave"!

Gelfling

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Re: You know you're a pagan when...
« Reply #29 on: July 11, 2011, 11:45:38 pm »
Quote from: Melamphoros;2151
WAIT!

You weren't kidding?  Oh man, I wonder if it would work on the JWs?


Well, telling them I was a witch didn't when I was younger.  Their eyes got wide, they put away the little pamphlet they were holding, and gave me a hardbound illustrated copy of the Book of Revelation instead.  Then they kept coming back every week for a little while-- I stopped answering the door and eventually they gave up.


Sometimes I miss that little book.  The pictures were pretty funny, as I recall.

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