He forget anniversary again……….

Not the first time but is all years he forgets anniversary. I mention it and he just did not say anything. I am homebound longtime ill cooked a nice dinner eventhough is a heatwave had some wine bottle left over from Yule. I only take small glass and even if  he prefers red he finished the white wine.Later on in a email i mention to my overseas friend about it.My friend offer to send me some flowers. I feel bit stupid but could not accept as partner disliked me having the 1 male friend. Is 38 years together not married.

Message Board: Join in our discussion.


Hey, just doing the introduction thing.  I’ve long practiced chaos magick, studied LaVey Satanism and now also consider myself an eclectic Pagan.  I gave up on my studies for a  few years due to drink and drug addiction but I am about 2 weeks clean and sober and wanting to get back into the occult / spirituality.   Cheers!

Message Board: Join in our discussion.

Phobias and Paganism

Hi everyone,
After my trip I thought I’d stop by and start a Topic over something I was thinking about while I was gone.
I chose to put this in the Beginners Section, simply because I think many Beginners would also benefit from this. If it fits in somewhere better though, feel free to move it around.

So I was wondering about phobias, well fears, that you can’t seem to shut off in general, or ignore. Especially the ones that interfere with one’s path or craft. The things holding one back from doing things that they would really like to do. So for instance someone would want to go up high, maybe in the mountains or on a tower or whatever to really feel the air up there and is afraid of heights. Or someone would like to get more into plants/herbalism/gardening and such things but has an insect phobia they can’t get a hold on. I’m thinking there are millions of examples to name, but I think you guys get what I mean.

So what I want to know, from some fellow pagans, is how do you cope with your personal fears when they get in the way of your craft? And by all means this doesn’t have to be “I do this or that spell” or anything “witchy” for that matter, if your answer is “I would see a therapist”, then by all means that’s cool too. Just wondering about coping methods that have worked well for you.

Thanks for taking a moment to read my babbling, can’t wait to hear about your ideas and stories.

Message Board: Join in our discussion.

How we do things here: a statement of position

The Cauldron has always been intended as a place where debate and discussion can flourish. We also know that there is a great deal of difficult material embedded in the myths and cultures many of us rely on as key to our spiritual, magical, and/or religious practices and communities, as well as disturbing and outright bigoted elements in the development of the modern pagan movement and its current culture.

Figuring out, as individuals and as a community, how we can talk effectively about these things helps all of us understand how these ideas impact our lives and influence our practices.  These types of discussions help us clarify not only how things have changed, but how we can best move forward without forgetting the past.

Our rules and policies have long been designed to encourage discussion of topics from many different perspectives. The current staff are committed to continuing that goal, and supporting a diverse community of varied experiences, opinions, and backgrounds. The current events in the physical world and many online spaces also mean that it’s a good time for a reminder about how we do things here.

Please take time to review our rules as needed. They’ve served us well over the years. Questions about a board rule in general should go in the Board Questions and Rules forum. Questions about a staff decision should be taken up with staff privately (see below for how.) You can find the complete rules in the Rules and Regulations folder, or under the About & Rules menu item.

We encourage you to engage with the conversation. If you simply want to share your own thoughts and ideas (rather than discuss them or potentially deal with questions), we recommend starting a blog (you can link your posts in this thread).

Remember that what may be an intellectual interest to you may be part of someone else’s daily lived experience. As our rules say, criticism of an idea or opinion is fine, but personal attacks (name calling, hostile remarks, accusations, etc.) are not welcome here. Stating your opinions about ideas is fine (“I don’t like that idea because…”), but personal insults are not permitted (“that idea is dumb and so is anyone who thinks it”). If you make an overly broad or unsupported statement (“that idea is evil”), chances are good that someone will ask you to support your claims. Our Political Discussion guidelines and Religious Tolerance Guidelines have some further information and examples.

Remember we are an international forum with a wide range of experiences. Explain any jargon you use and recognise that other places may have different laws, structures, history, or approaches to various topics and issues.

Please help everyone participate in the conversation. Quoting a previous post in the thread is required, to make the conversation easier to follow. If you reference other sources (videos, images, documents outside the forum, etc.) please follow our inclusivity guidelines and provide a summary of the material and ideally where to find the part that you are referring to (such as a page number, section, or timestamp). People reading the forum may not have time, energy, resources, or capacity to go watch a video, read a 20 page academic essay, or decipher a series of ambiguous memes.

Each person on the forum is responsible for their own reading experience. Many people appreciate a note if a thread or post discusses difficult or upsetting topics (such as violence, abuse, or various ‘isms’ that relate to prejudice, bigotry, or discrimination). A brief way to do this is to say something like “Content note: discusses racism” or “Content note: discusses violence”, and then continue after a blank line to give a bit of visual space. You can also use the spoiler code (found above the reply box  in the bottom row of tags, just above the emoticons, fourth from the left)) that will hide the included text unless directly selected.

However, thread drift can happen at any time. If a post upsets you but is not against the rules, you can ignore a poster (so long as they are not staff), avoid the thread, or disengage.

No one is required to respond to any particular thread, topic, or conversation. If a conversation has taken a turn that you’re not comfortable responding to for any reason, we encourage you to make that clear if you can (so other people know you won’t be responding.) Something like “I’m bowing out here.” or “I’d rather not discuss that, thanks.” often works well. If you’re not able to comment, then it’s fine to just stop responding.

You can also take the time you need to respond. One of the benefits of a forum is the ability to have a conversation over a much longer period of time than other social media forms often encourage. It’s fine to reply days, weeks, or even months later. (Though we do have some guidelines for reviving old threads.)

Reporting a problem
If you are concerned that a post breaks the rules, report it to staff using the “report to moderator” link on the appropriate post and a brief explanation of your concerns. This is the fastest way for available staff to see your concern, discuss it as needed, and take appropriate action.

If you see a problem in Discord chat, please report it via this post, or alert multiple staff members in Discord. (Ideally those who have recently been active there.) Note that there are additional guidelines for Discord, see the pinned posts and the Rules channel there for details, or the TC Discord Server Rules sticky post in the Discord Chat Support forum.

If you have a concern about a particular staff member, please contact at least two members of senior staff (so there is a better chance of your question being seen promptly). These should ideally include SunflowerP (as Host) and Darkhawk (as Message Board Coordinator), especially if the staff member you have a concern about is themselves senior staff. (Senior staff are Darkhawk, Aster Breo, Aisling, Jenett, Morag, and Sefiru.)

Handling concerns: Staff are all volunteers, and have different schedules, outside commitments, and other concerns. Some issues (such as spam) are easy to act on quickly, but more complex issues often require some discussion and a review of material. It may be a few days before we take action. 

General questions about how rules work here can be asked in the Board Questions, Suggestions, and Feedback forum, but any questions about a specific moderation decision must be made in private. Please use the same reporting methods described above.


Message Board: Join in our discussion.

TC Discord Server Rules

(This is a WIP; current content is basically a placeholder copypasted from our Discord’s #rules channel)

The Cauldron’s Standard Rules Do Apply to our Discord Chat
The Host would like to remind everyone that our standard rules for member behavior apply to all parts of The Cauldron: our message board, our Discord chat, our website, and any other part of The Cauldron that may be created in the future — unless specific rules for an area are approved by a Host or Senior Staff member and posted in the area by a Staff member state otherwise.

Please set your name in the chat to be the same as your name on the Cauldron message board, so that we know who you are.  To change your display name in this Discord, tap the cauldron icon in your list of channels to pull up the menu and select ‘Change Nickname’

Channel specific guidelines:
– Please do not have discussions in #welcome. Introduce yourself, say hi to the newcomers, but please move substantive conversation to #general-chat or another appropriate channel.
– The #divination-department is primarily for divination exchanges, asking people for readings, and offering readings. While theory and practice of divination conversations may happen there, it is not required that they happen there, and we would generally prefer they go elsewhere so people seeking or offering readings can more easily find each other.
– The #ritual-room is for planning, discussing, and hosting online ritual or rituals shared among Discord participants. Please keep off-topic conversations to other channels so that references and discussion points for active ritual projects are easy to find.
– Post links to resources in #resource-sharing. Resources include, but are not limited to: shops of interest, academic resource materials, news articles. Some of these resources may also be appropriate to post in relevant parts of the Cauldron forum or may be collected in the future. Discussion of resources posted should be placed in the forum. Staff may choose to remove links to resources which are no longer relevant or useful.
– Writing discussion, encouragement, and mutual social encouragement goes in #tc-wrimos. Topics within this channel are entirely likely to not have pagan relevance.


Message Board: Join in our discussion.

How To Report Issues From Discord

If you see something in the Discord chat for the Cauldron that is in violation of either the board rules or the specific rules of the Discord, follow these steps to notify staff:

Select ‘report to moderator’ on this post (this should be in the bottom right).

In the text box that appears, provide a summary of the problem, just as you would if you were reporting a post on the forum.  Unlike a forum post, however, you must provide a link to the comment in the chat so that we can find it for review.

To obtain that link (either on the web or in the Discord client): hover your mouse over the message in question until the “…” appears on the top right.  Click the “…” and select ‘Copy Message Link’.  Paste the resulting link into your report.

Once you submit your report, we will be able to proceed with appropriate staff evaluation and intervention, just like we would for comments on the board proper.

Message Board: Join in our discussion.

Clairaudience and a story

My stepson (I’ll call him Matthew) is autistic with cerebral palsy, quite severely so, and he was frequently surrounded by interesting phenomenon. Among other events, he would often laugh hysterically in the middle of the night in his blacked-out room – not just an ordinary laugh, but the exact brand as when being barraged with tickles: frenzied and joyous, and without triggering him to get up and run around, as also happened regularly. While his many doctors would say it was a symptom of his delays, I personally felt as if he was always accompanied by a protective spirit.

In 2017 Matthew was accepted into a group home, and shortly thereafter several undeniably curious things happened. Firstly, I had a clairaudient event (which is something I’d never experienced before): someone clearly whispering my name, twice in three days. Secondly, a shadow in the mirror of his room when I walked past.

Being an amateur student of pagan practices, and reflecting on the fact that Matthew’s father had died under mysterious circumstances several years prior, I made three divination attempts – one of scrying and two of automatic writing. The scrying led to nothing (I didn’t have a dark cloth), and while the automatic writing sessions contained interesting noises and a general sense of presence, the writing itself produced no clear leads, even after study and reflection. In retrospect I should have carried something with me into the sessions to help connect me to his father, but by the time I realized this it was too late: the phenomenon ceased less than a month after Matthew’s move.

But that voice in my ear. It was crystal.

I sought out Buckland’s Book of Spirit Communication in an effort to research clairaudience. He does list three or four exercises by which to develop the skill, but there was little other information about the technique itself. Therefore, since that time I have been asking the few pagans I know (all online) if they know of any solid leads (or potential solid leads) for working with clairaudience. Again too late, I later realized I could have dug deeper into Vitchvox also, but…  :'(

Any ideas? Suggestions? And is it even possible that the spirit wasn’t his father? I mean, I’m sure it’s possible, I just didn’t notice the phenomenon before the man died, and I never got any sense of malice or discontent from it. It was protective, even playful.


Message Board: Join in our discussion.

What’s Growing in Your Garden?

Recently, I repotted majority of my houseplants, including:

  • the hardy fig tree (which I thought I killed, but turns out it drops its leaves when stressed and then will grow them all back in a flourish).
  • Lucky bamboo (I have three different varieties but I don’t remember the names) – total of 11 stems I think
  • Pothos (so. much. pothos)
  • Aloe vera
  • Indian Rubber Plant
  • Begonia

I also had a friend send me some seed packets (!!!) a while back, and had sowed the basil seeds. They’re growing now quite nicely, but I can’t harvest them yet.

This all had me wondering: what are you growing in your garden, be it outside, inside, in containers, in the ground, in the air, or in water?

Message Board: Join in our discussion.


My name is Tymothi, or Tym.

I am a middle-aged mortal from a very small town in the deep southern USA. Raised in the Roman Catholic world until college, I secretly studied Gardnerian Wicca from 2004 onward. Recently, after years of more public explorations into, say, Buddhism, I’ve been able to finally put my Wiccan texts into solitary practice. I am proud to say the efforts have resulted in some major successes, so after a long time of unfulfilling side quests, I feel I am at last able to control my own spiritual journey.

This site appears at first glance to be overwhelming, but this is a good thing. I appreciate the text-based approach, and I intend to spend the majority of my time studying the discoveries made by others as my practices continue to develop, and if I feel my own discoveries or insights would benefit others I will gladly share them as well. Thank you in advance, and in retrospect, for all your contributions. We are all in fact one, and now is a time in our collective history when I believe it would be wisest to consider ourselves as such. This means I have a sharp awareness that what I do to you, I do to myself. And I very much like myself.

That being said, please forgive any awkwardness I present. I am a frivolous person outside of spirituality, but in this realm I am quite serious, so if my lines become muddled at times, I apologize. Thank you for being here – it is truly a great discovery on its own.

Blessed Be.

Message Board: Join in our discussion.

Prayers, Vibes, Energy Request for Momma TGW

Hey all.
Last Monday, my mom had major back surgery – essentially three vertebrae were partially fused with one another, a vertebra was taken out, and a cyst (which had ingrained into the derma of the spinal cord) was also removed. Needless to say, my mom has a long path ahead of her. She currently has to lie down in bed, and can only sit up for a total of 1 hour out of 24 hours. She’s barely mobile, and because she can’t really do the stairs, has to sleep in the family room, where there’s no a/c – and there’s a heat wave hitting NYS now.
If you can, please keep her in your thoughts, prayers, and send some good vibes/energy her way. She goes to the doctor tomorrow to see what progress has been made (she was discharged this past Saturday).
Thank you all.

Message Board: Join in our discussion.