I’m a Wiccan. I know a lot of pagans and witches don’t consider themselves Wiccan (or at least that’s what it seems like in my experience- it seems like I’m always hearing pagans explain why they’re not Wiccan) but I do. I used to know a lot when I was Wiccan when I was younger but it’s been a while, so I signed up for a class through a local Meetup group. The teacher said she considers her religion more shamanism then Wicca or witchcraft (the class is mostly but not exclusively focused on Wicca, at least that’s what the description said) but after quite a few classes I’m beginning to wonder if maybe I’m screwed up on what it is, because no one else seems really troubled by any of this but me. I’ve heard Wicca described before as “Western European shamanism” so the teacher’s profession didn’t bother me, but now I’m wondering if differences between Wicca and shamanism are the reason for some of these differences.
Some of the things that I’ve heard that trouble me:
The idea that the Goddess and God, however you see them, will just possess you without you knowing or without you remembering and then they’ll speak through you and you won’t know about it (I’m not talking about a lack of memory during a purposefully entered and agreed upon trance/invocation, like Drawing Down the Moon, but the idea that you’re just going throughout your day and bam!)
That the gods are often tactless, crude and use foul language “just like us”
The idea that the dead can attach themselves to you despite years of attempts to get rid of them
The idea that people can psychically attack or curse you using evil spirits
That worship/respect and affection/closeness/comfort are incompatible
The idea that your soul can fragment and go off into directions and need to be retrieved
I know we all believe differently and this shouldn’t bother me, but this is my first experience with real-life pagans and I’m wondering if maybe I’m just the one who has a messed up idea of what the religion is. I know I don’t have to believe anything that bothers me, but the things I listed above clash so much with my beliefs that it’s troubling me.
Oh, and I’m only taking the class 2 more weeks and I’m not going to sign up for the next installment. I realize I could quit earlier but I’ve made some friendships with a couple of women in the class that I’m already scared I’ll lose once class is over, so I don’t want to quit early. I’ve learned some things certainly and it’s been worth my time, I am just troubled.
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