The Toilet Paper Fairy (No, I’m serious): A Suburban Spirit

Toilet paper Español: Papel higiénico

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The setting: my mother, a night monitor, got off early on Thanksgiving before she could watch The Muppet Holiday Special with Lady Gaga at the gatehouse. I, being a member of the Younger Generation, was the only one capable of operating the television, which meant turning it on half an hour early to monitor signal strength and frequently fidget with the antenna.

The scene: a store commercial featuring Suburban Housewife trying to pick a brand of what looked like toilet paper (the signal was inconsistent, so half the commercial was pixels).

The spirit: suddenly, a blue dress wearing, blue butterfly winged, blue haired woman pops out of the stacks of rolls to give penny saving advice.

Yes, an immortal denizen of insect/human hybrids dwells among the narrow passageways in the canyon of Grocery Store, to guide one upon the path of hunting down good quality brands in the linoleum and metal jungle of Free Market.

I think, a thousand years from now, our descendants shall be worshipers of the Toilet Paper Fairy, with many sagas written about her.

Anyway, even if that doesn’t happen, we consumers can use her as a symbol representing our ability to only buy what we really need, not to give in to gimmicks, and avoid over priced junk.

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