Meditation by gazing at a candle flame

It’s occurred to me that I can only perform this type of meditation in company, and I wondered whether anyone might have any thoughts as to why this might be the case?

I’m not the best at meditation, still very much a beginner — honestly, I really need a guided meditation to follow else my mind just wanders immediately and repeatedly, until I just give up.  Even then, with the recording of a guided meditation, it’s hit or miss — I have to be in the right frame of mind to begin with, and there are still times when I just give up after a few minutes because I just can’t keep my mind from going all over the place no matter how I try.

But it just strikes me as odd that I can get into a really relaxed, meditative state while gazing at the candle flame whenever my eclectic Wiccan friend and I do this at her place during our meet ups (not done for many months now, as you can imagine, due to the lockdown).  It’s the closest I can get to being in any kind of a trance.  But not when I attempt it at home by myself, it doesn’t work.  You’d think the reverse would be true, since you’d think I’d be more self-conscious at my friends place, and less so by myself.

Maybe it’s just as simple as my knowing that husband could walk in at any minute and disturb me, whereas when my friend and I do this activity it’s always just the two of us, plus we have also set out to do our semi-regular “something pagan-y” as we have come to refer to it.  (My husband is not very good at respecting my meditation time; it’s not deliberate but he just tends to forget and when he’s gaming he loses track of the passage of time, too, so he possibly just assumes that I must be done by now or something.)

Does anyone else do (or previously tried) this form of meditation, and if so how do you feel about this form?  Have you ever experienced anything similar to the above?  If so, did you find a way to get past it and have you any tips for me as to how I might do the same?

Tl;dr — anyone hit any snags while trying this activity, and if so what did you do when that happened?

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