Overcoming Obstacles/Growth of Self

[veggiewolf]

Many of us have mentioned at one point or another that our religious path(s), our work if you will, involves the overcoming of obstacles in order to grow.  Some of those obstacles come from outside, but many of them are self-created and to leave them in place would mean stagnation.

Self-created roadblocks are the hardest to overcome, IMO; many of mine are in place for reasons of "safety".  To look at each one and determine what needs to be removed is frightening...and to know that I *must* act in order to grow (tear down to rebuild) is overwhelming at times.  And the methods by which the obstacles are removed are not easy.  I've been shaken to my core a number of times, seen my place in the grand scheme of things and how small I really am, and I've not embraced the journey wholeheartedly yet.

So, for others that may have experienced this need to tear down to rebuild...were you frightened?  How did you overcome the fear so you could get down to business?  What have you incorporated in your life to make it easier to handle (if that's even possible)?

[Shawnee]

Many of us have mentioned at one point or another that our religious path(s), our work if you will, involves the overcoming of obstacles in order to grow.  Some of those obstacles come from outside, but many of them are self-created and to leave them in place would mean stagnation.

Self-created roadblocks are the hardest to overcome, IMO; many of mine are in place for reasons of "safety".  To look at each one and determine what needs to be removed is frightening...and to know that I *must* act in order to grow (tear down to rebuild) is overwhelming at times.  And the methods by which the obstacles are removed are not easy.  I've been shaken to my core a number of times, seen my place in the grand scheme of things and how small I really am, and I've not embraced the journey wholeheartedly yet.

So, for others that may have experienced this need to tear down to rebuild...were you frightened?  How did you overcome the fear so you could get down to business?  What have you incorporated in your life to make it easier to handle (if that's even possible)?

 
Like you, I have self-created blocks and am at a point where they need to be torn down. Yes, I'm very scared of what will happen when I let them go. Getting rid of them will not be a fast process but it took years to build them also.

Right now I'm letting my tarot cards be a guide to what areas I need to work on daily. It is a small start and for now it's easier to have one daily focus. I ask what my focus should be and how I should approach it. Then I've been writing down what I feel on the subject and choosing a baby step to put into practice.

I'm the type of person who feels you can eat an elephant it just takes one bite at a time. But you have to take that first bite ya know. I can't go at something whole hog because I have to analyze and think every step of the way. My brain gets in the way of everything hence so many obstacles.

If there are easy ways/things to do I would love to have the insight also.

[JuniperMorgan]

So, for others that may have experienced this need to tear down to rebuild...were you frightened?  How did you overcome the fear so you could get down to business?  What have you incorporated in your life to make it easier to handle (if that's even possible)?

 
I'm at this type of crossroads right now.  One thing that I've found helps the massive fear is surrendering that fear, and any legitimate outside sources that either created of overwhelmingly reinforced the internal obstacles, to the powers that be (whatever they are for you).  

Even to the point for me very recently for one very strong and poisonous influence, taking a picture, writing their name and their mothers name and date of birth on the back, placing in a black bowl under sea salt, placing a black candle above.  Lighting the candle and saying something about "choose to remove your negativity and venom from my life.  I surrender you to the gods to remove your negativity and venom from me in whatever way they see fit" yada yada...let the candle burn away completely.  Then I dumped the remaining salt and paper into the river by my house.  The Detroit River - if you haven't heard about it's state of pollution, well the salt might just help clean it!

Within oh...maybe two weeks...the person wrote me that they wanted nothing more to do with me.  It was a little sad, because of who the person is, but very freeing as well.  

I also try to do things to help me overcome that incorporate humor into them, to help me laugh at my troubles and not be overwhelmed.  I recently found a really cute leather cuff that is studded and has an O ring.  It also fits my small wrist - a challenge - so I bought it, and then came the idea to put a hook and a eye-screw into my desk.  I can now be literally "chained to my desk" when I am writing.  There's a tongue in cheek humor to it, but it also serves as a visual and audio cue to my partner that I'm writing as work - not goofing off on the computer - and really shouldn't be interrupted if it can be helped.  She has a habit of interrupting me non-stop the minute I sit down to write a story, and then wondering why I don't write.  This should help us both.

So, now that I've rambled on.  I hope some of this helps...and please...if you come across things of your own...share with the rest of us!

[SatSekhem]

...were you frightened?  How did you overcome the fear so you could get down to business?  What have you incorporated in your life to make it easier to handle (if that's even possible)?

 
I am absolutely fucking terrified. That's what I've been asked to do, actually, in recent weeks. I don't know how to get over the fear, to be honest. I'm still shaking in my boots. I just... work through it. I force myself to do that which has been set before me because to not is to invite disaster.

I've used my writing as the outlet for this growth.

[Devo]

So, for others that may have experienced this need to tear down to rebuild...were you frightened?  How did you overcome the fear so you could get down to business?  What have you incorporated in your life to make it easier to handle (if that's even possible)?

 
I've not really been scared. I've been unsure- certainly. But not scared. I've always felt that I was in good hands- that I was being asked to do something with good reason and because of that I had nothing to fear. There is a metaphor I like to use- you're at the edge of the cliff. Jump off. Anymore, I always jump off without thinking twice (which is good and bad). Many times, Set and I will have a pow-wow before I start to really get heavy into growth work, which also helps.

More than anything, I get frustrated. I go "Wow, this needs to be fixed. But how the hell am I supposed to fix it? What can I do? What do I do?" That is my biggest issue. Usually, it comes with time, and I don't even realize it's happening until it's almost over. Figures.

The only thing I have encorporated in my life to help is just patience. Patience with myself, my short comings, etc. That and persistence. To know that I will fall down many times before this battle is won. But to just keep at it. I think those are both things you have to more or less learn, otherwise this stuff will really wear on you.

-Devo

[Miss]

Many of us have mentioned at one point or another that our religious path(s), our work if you will, involves the overcoming of obstacles in order to grow.  Some of those obstacles come from outside, but many of them are self-created and to leave them in place would mean stagnation.

Self-created roadblocks are the hardest to overcome, IMO; many of mine are in place for reasons of "safety".  To look at each one and determine what needs to be removed is frightening...and to know that I *must* act in order to grow (tear down to rebuild) is overwhelming at times.  And the methods by which the obstacles are removed are not easy.  I've been shaken to my core a number of times, seen my place in the grand scheme of things and how small I really am, and I've not embraced the journey wholeheartedly yet.

So, for others that may have experienced this need to tear down to rebuild...were you frightened?  How did you overcome the fear so you could get down to business?  What have you incorporated in your life to make it easier to handle (if that's even possible)?

 
I honestly have had a lot of issues with my self-confidence in the past. I think I've already mentioned in previous threads I do daily affirmations. I tell myself aloud various things like:

"Every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better"
"I believe in myself"
"I will succeed"

I usually say them multiple times in succession.

Fear is definitely something that has also ruled me in the past, and even now I must work on them frequently. I get get scared of social situations,for example. Sometimes I catch myself saying mean things about people, when really I'm just pulling up excuses to not be around people. All in fear of being socially rejected.I've gotten a lot better at this, but it could do with some more polishing.

One fear I've only recently conquered has to do with the religion in which I was brought up, but that's a long story. In short, I had to deeply analyze myself and why I felt certain things. One of the books I have used does guided, meditative visualization that really get you soul searching. Deep down the darkest recesses of your mind. It was gritty and miserable at first, but very freeing after.

I'm 21 years old, and as I grow and mature I know I'll have a lot more work to do on myself. Leaving past beliefs to something that feels better, all the life's lesson's that are up ahead... It's still scary, and that's why I haven't given up certain practices like daily affirmations.I'll most certainly need them later on. Growing up can be really daunting! lol

[savveir]

Self-created roadblocks are the hardest to overcome, IMO; many of mine are in place for reasons of "safety".  To look at each one and determine what needs to be removed is frightening...and to know that I *must* act in order to grow (tear down to rebuild) is overwhelming at times.  And the methods by which the obstacles are removed are not easy.  I've been shaken to my core a number of times, seen my place in the grand scheme of things and how small I really am, and I've not embraced the journey wholeheartedly yet.

So, for others that may have experienced this need to tear down to rebuild...were you frightened?  How did you overcome the fear so you could get down to business?  What have you incorporated in your life to make it easier to handle (if that's even possible)?

That's what I need to do now, get past my self created obstacles.
I've been running away from myself and the hurdles I cause for myself.I need to look critically at myself and admit that yes, I have screwed up and no I'm not where or who I want to be right now. I got a bit of a push(though it felt more like a kick) yesterday to make me admit these things to myself. It turns out just because I'm ignoring the problems, it wont make them turn into sunshine and rainbows, so I need to get my butt out of the nice cosy ignorant hole I dug myself into.

In regards to getting past the obstacles, I'm more anxious than anything else. I am however frightened of not getting past them, of failing, of staying in that hole.

I'm trying to overcome it my sheer stubbornness and persistence, I know it needs to happen, I know it's going to suck and I know it's better than the alternative.

[monsnoleedra]

.. So, for others that may have experienced this need to tear down to rebuild...were you frightened?  How did you overcome the fear so you could get down to business?  What have you incorporated in your life to make it easier to handle (if that's even possible)?

Ah Shadow work.  The most terrifying thing I've ever had to face and more so admit.  Most difficult because most people never trully face thier shadow self, they stop at the surface and see only roadblocks or impasses and delve no deeper.

It's like for me enclosed spaces still get to me and influence my ability to be around others as well as tight quarters.  So on the surface one might think it an issue of personal space intrustions, mass emotional wavefronts that clobber you, the pushing and shoving of many bodies, etc.

Yet that all would be a lie as to the cause though they are examples of the visible manifestations of it.  For me that particular string of influences goes back to being locked in a trunk as a child and nearly dying before my parents returned home to find the babysitter had locked me there so she could run to the store.

No need to go into details of what I recall but needless to say it was the catalyst that influenced so much of the "Roadblocks" or "Impasses" that stood before me.

Yet to overcome and move beyond them you have to dig deeper than the impass or roadblock.

Deep seated fears are frequently conveyed through our shadow totems and shadow guides.  That so called contrary medicine that moved in opposition to what we would like to think or think of ourselves as.  Yet most often we have to face and defeat or overcome those fears to remove all the inpasses and roadblocks that originate from them.

In the movie THE NEVER ENDING STORY there is a scene where the hero must face himself in the mirror.  Yet in doing so the brace warrior discovers he is only the scared child reading the story. Yet not only must one face themselves in the mirror and see who they really are they must also accept that what they see is who they are as well.  To embrace those traits they fear or hate in themselves and use them to their benefit not to try and push them away or block them out because they are not something they desire.

But until the shadow self is faced all one does is shift the roadblocks around, they do not remove them.

Of course that is just my opinon so others may disagree though it doesn't mean that little voice in their heads disagree's.

[veggiewolf]

...
I'm the type of person who feels you can eat an elephant it just takes one bite at a time. But you have to take that first bite ya know. I can't go at something whole hog because I have to analyze and think every step of the way. My brain gets in the way of everything hence so many obstacles...

The "How do you eat an elephant?" question reminds me of something I teach in my time management workshops.  There's a quote attributed to Mark Twain that can be paraphrased like this:  If the first thing you have to do each morning is eat a live frog, you can go through the rest of the day knowing nothing worse will happen.

The idea (after everyone stops laughing and or retching) is that one should tackle the biggest, ugliest "frog" (task, project, etc.) first thing and then everything else will seem easier by comparison.  It works well for prioritizing work (and, in fact, there's an entire book about it - Eat That Frog!)  It seems so silly that I potentially have a tool here to use and didn't think of it.

*facepalms*

[veggiewolf]

I'm at this type of crossroads right now.  One thing that I've found helps the massive fear is surrendering that fear, and any legitimate outside sources that either created of overwhelmingly reinforced the internal obstacles, to the powers that be (whatever they are for you).  

*nods* I know this will help me, if I can bear to let go of my control for long enough to give it over and work with it.  I'm a bit of a control freak.

Even to the point for me very recently for one very strong and poisonous influence...

I really like this idea and may have to try it.  

I also try to do things to help me overcome that incorporate humor into them, to help me laugh at my troubles and not be overwhelmed.  I recently found a really cute leather cuff that is studded and has an O ring.  It also fits my small wrist - a challenge - so I bought it, and then came the idea to put a hook and a eye-screw into my desk.  I can now be literally "chained to my desk" when I am writing.[/quote]

I like this idea as well.  For some of my roadblocks, incorporating humor should be easy...and nothing's as fun as poking fun at oneself, yes?

So, now that I've rambled on.  I hope some of this helps...and please...if you come across things of your own...share with the rest of us!

It does.  Thanks!

[veggiewolf]

I am absolutely fucking terrified. That's what I've been asked to do, actually, in recent weeks. I don't know how to get over the fear, to be honest. I'm still shaking in my boots. I just... work through it. I force myself to do that which has been set before me because to not is to invite disaster.

If you don't mind my asking, invite disaster in what way?

I've used my writing as the outlet for this growth.

 
I love to write but, for some reason, it isn't working for these tasks.  I have no idea why; things would be easier if it worked.

[veggiewolf]

I've not really been scared. I've been unsure- certainly. But not scared. I've always felt that I was in good hands- that I was being asked to do something with good reason and because of that I had nothing to fear. There is a metaphor I like to use- you're at the edge of the cliff. Jump off. Anymore, I always jump off without thinking twice (which is good and bad). Many times, Set and I will have a pow-wow before I start to really get heavy into growth work, which also helps.

That metaphor is something I think I'm going to write down.  It fits this situation perfectly.

Neb.y is great for discussion prior but He sure manages to say a lot without including too much useful information.  *sighs*

The only thing I have encorporated in my life to help is just patience. Patience with myself, my short comings, etc. That and persistence. To know that I will fall down many times before this battle is won. But to just keep at it. I think those are both things you have to more or less learn, otherwise this stuff will really wear on you.

-Devo

And it is not one of my virtues.  At least, not with myself.  I can be infinitely patient with others but somehow I don't think that's going to help.

[veggiewolf]

I honestly have had a lot of issues with my self-confidence in the past. I think I've already mentioned in previous threads I do daily affirmations...

I think it is great that affirmations work for you.  I've tried them in the past and cannot keep the image of Stuart Smalley out of my head.  But, then again, I have trouble clearing my mind on the best of days.  :p

...Sometimes I catch myself saying mean things about people, when really I'm just pulling up excuses to not be around people. All in fear of being socially rejected.I've gotten a lot better at this, but it could do with some more polishing.

Social anxiety is one of my big issues, too - I've found I do better when I can incorporate a role.  It is why I am so anxious at parties, f'ex, and yet love public speaking and running meetings.

[veggiewolf]

...I got a bit of a push(though it felt more like a kick) yesterday to make me admit these things to myself. It turns out just because I'm ignoring the problems, it wont make them turn into sunshine and rainbows, so I need to get my butt out of the nice cosy ignorant hole I dug myself into.

The first kick in the ass is the worst, although the next ones don't hurt any less...

...I know it needs to happen, I know it's going to suck and I know it's better than the alternative.

This.  Definitely this.

[veggiewolf]

Ah Shadow work.  The most terrifying thing I've ever had to face and more so admit.  Most difficult because most people never trully face thier shadow self, they stop at the surface and see only roadblocks or impasses and delve no deeper.

This is right on target with my current location and I have to delve deeper.  At this point, I truly have no choice.

...Deep seated fears are frequently conveyed through our shadow totems and shadow guides.  That so called contrary medicine that moved in opposition to what we would like to think or think of ourselves as.  Yet most often we have to face and defeat or overcome those fears to remove all the impasses and roadblocks that originate from them.

In the movie THE NEVER ENDING STORY there is a scene where the hero must face himself in the mirror.  Yet in doing so the brace warrior discovers he is only the scared child reading the story. Yet not only must one face themselves in the mirror and see who they really are they must also accept that what they see is who they are as well.  To embrace those traits they fear or hate in themselves and use them to their benefit not to try and push them away or block them out because they are not something they desire.

But until the shadow self is faced all one does is shift the roadblocks around, they do not remove them...

I've been thinking of The Never-ending Story as I prepare to take on myself in my Sacred Monster guise, and also of the battle against Shadow Link in the Water Temple.  

We cannot know who we are until we face ourselves.