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Author Topic: Overcoming Obstacles/Growth of Self  (Read 4034 times)

SatSekhem

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Re: Overcoming Obstacles/Growth of Self
« Reply #15 on: October 05, 2011, 04:24:29 pm »
Quote from: veggiewolf;24094
If you don't mind my asking, invite disaster in what way?


Pretty much, I've come to the realization that if I don't start dealing with the trauma from my past, then I'm going to go down a very cold, lonely, bitchy road. In other words, end up like my mother. And that terrifies me more than anything in the world.
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Garnet

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Re: Overcoming Obstacles/Growth of Self
« Reply #16 on: October 05, 2011, 08:56:18 pm »
Quote from: veggiewolf;23877

So, for others that may have experienced this need to tear down to rebuild...were you frightened?  How did you overcome the fear so you could get down to business?  What have you incorporated in your life to make it easier to handle (if that's even possible)?

 
Opening the way for myself and overcoming self-created obstacles have been a huge part of my path, especially the past couple of years. One of the things that helps is reminding myself why I'm doing it. I'm doing this work to be whole, to be free - ultimately to be better able to do my Work in the world.

It hasn't just been tearing down for me - there's been a lot of shadow work and transformation. Not that that is any easier. And I've found that a lot of the "shadow" parts I've tried to hide are actually powerful and shiny parts that I'm even more afraid of than the "standard" ick parts of personality.

For me, some of this work has been working with internal "demons" and transforming them into allies. A lot of this has been through "I do some stuff and it works" rituals/magic. For example, about a year and a half ago I realized I had a part of self constantly saying "Idon'ttrustIdon'ttrustIdon'ttrust". She/it had latched onto some of my fears about manipulation and control and was pretty much ruining my life. Being very kinesthetic, I felt this as a muscle clenching on the right side of my abdomen. I talked to this part, with some help from Wepwawet and other Beings I work with. I realized that she was just trying to help me and keep me safe, but was ultimately hurting me. I got her to be my ally, with two functions - first, to point out if something wasn't ok, and second, to trust if it was. And she/it has come in handy. I do get the fear sometimes still, but it's a useful warning instead of something messing up entire weeks.

Kink has been very helpful in this process - both in theory and practice. (More theory than practice at the moment.) I work a lot expanding my energy bodies, grounding to earth and sky, and in general giving myself more space to be in. I've found the kala ritual (rite of unbinding of life force) from Feri to be super useful. My deities have been too, especially Wepwawet, and my Godsoul.

It's still not easy, and certainly not done.

Devo

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Re: Overcoming Obstacles/Growth of Self
« Reply #17 on: October 06, 2011, 11:54:05 am »
Quote from: veggiewolf;24098
That metaphor is something I think I'm going to write down.  It fits this situation perfectly.


:)

Quote
Neb.y is great for discussion prior but He sure manages to say a lot without including too much useful information.  *sighs*


He doesn't talk much with me- but usually before something major happens, I get this... image. We'll be on the edge of a valley, and down below you can see where this 'battle' is going to occur. And it's like we're sitting in a tent, discussing strategies, ideas, etc. I rarely can hear what he's saying, but I know that once I've seen that image- it's on.

And that's when I jump off the cliff and run headlong into the battle below XD

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Luna

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Re: Overcoming Obstacles/Growth of Self how I do it daily.
« Reply #18 on: October 27, 2011, 01:12:28 pm »
Quote from: veggiewolf;23877
Many of us have mentioned at one point or another that our religious path(s), our work if you will, involves the overcoming of obstacles in order to grow.  Some of those obstacles come from outside, but many of them are self-created and to leave them in place would mean stagnation.

Self-created roadblocks are the hardest to overcome, IMO; many of mine are in place for reasons of "safety".  To look at each one and determine what needs to be removed is frightening...and to know that I *must* act in order to grow (tear down to rebuild) is overwhelming at times.  And the methods by which the obstacles are removed are not easy.  I've been shaken to my core a number of times, seen my place in the grand scheme of things and how small I really am, and I've not embraced the journey wholeheartedly yet.

So, for others that may have experienced this need to tear down to rebuild...were you frightened?  How did you overcome the fear so you could get down to business?  What have you incorporated in your life to make it easier to handle (if that's even possible)?

 Hi, my name is Luna and I have what I hope will be a short story on overcoming obstacles. In 2008 I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer, I'm great, thank the Goddess, but this an integral part of my journey. My Doctor, at the time was a very wise lady from Pakistan and she told me to start meditating daily and eliminating all the unnecessary things in my life. After the chemo and radiation I remembered what she said, a coworker recommended I read Louise Hay, I did and instantly recognized myself in her words. I did my guided meditations daily and wrote in a journal. The combination was a gentle key to releasing the many walls I had comfortably lived behind for almost 40 years. I must be honest with you all, I have family members that I love and they know it but I don't have much to do with them. I now, speak my peace, not rudely but I get my point across all the time. I have had to reorganize my thinking about my life. My coworkers are just that, I like them but we are coworkers and not friends. My friends are few and far between, but my good friends I am blessed to have. I learned thru this wonderful journey so far that I come first, it's not a selfish statement but one we should all live by. I love myself, who I am and everything about me. The things about me I didn't like are gone, I worked thru them all. I start my day every day looking in the mirror and saying Good Morning, I love you. I try to be as thoughtful as I possibly can with my words, deeds and thoughts. If an old familiar behavior raises it's ugly head, my daily meditation with the Goddess seems to neutralize those behaviors. I shed my tears during the cleansing process but I always felt very comforted during my cleansing.            I send you all the best for your journeys, they are worth it, and you will all be the better for you journey.                       Luna

2greyhounds

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Re: Overcoming Obstacles/Growth of Self
« Reply #19 on: October 27, 2011, 10:41:49 pm »
Quote from: SatSekhem;24109
Pretty much, I've come to the realization that if I don't start dealing with the trauma from my past, then I'm going to go down a very cold, lonely, bitchy road. In other words, end up like my mother. And that terrifies me more than anything in the world.

I know what you mean as I feel that I have been there too. I have felt rather alone lately and I was led  to two books by my guides "The barn dance" It is very short and the beginning seemed to ramble a bit but when I was about halfway I realized it was telling me that I needed to forgive someone. (In the book it is a true story of the author being traumatized by his wife's murder, but he realizes he must forgive them- the men that killed his wife, and more importantly himself.) The second book was "The most powerful prayer" which is a prayer of forgiveness, anyway, I
 then realized that I needed to forgive myself first which then led me to write down all the people in my life (over 40 years) that I need to forgive, needless to say this was an astonishingly long list, I'm embarrassed to say. I never even realized this before! This realization was very freeing for me and I believe a good start to a new beginning. This has also made me realize how judgmental I am every day of myself and others in an automatic knee jerk unintentional way.

nbdy

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Re: Overcoming Obstacles/Growth of Self
« Reply #20 on: January 03, 2012, 02:16:10 pm »
Quote from: veggiewolf;23877

Self-created roadblocks are the hardest to overcome, IMO; many of mine are in place for reasons of "safety". To look at each one and determine what needs to be removed is frightening...and to know that I *must* act in order to grow (tear down to rebuild) is overwhelming at times.  And the methods by which the obstacles are removed are not easy.  I've been shaken to my core a number of times, seen my place in the grand scheme of things and how small I really am, and I've not embraced the journey wholeheartedly yet.


You have articulated much of how I wandered into this forum. I face two challenges: (1) Prioritizing and streamlining obligations and (2) Getting past fears. I am doing a pretty good job on item (1), but (2) is difficult. I thought about it a lot last month and I suppose an act of trust is to share the list I created:

How I fear myself
------------------
- that overreach or carelessness could cause misfortune for myself or others
- getting lost in other world
- that it is a one way trip, no way back, ends my life as I have known it
- madness

How I fear others
-------------------
- rejection by friends/family, greatest concern about affect on children/husband
- betrayal

The first step I have taken was to be more forthcoming with my husband of 20 years. Of course he was always aware of 'something,' but I don't care for proselytizing and have largely kept spiritual matters to myself. The growing number of books and accessories were mostly kept out of sight in the closet for the entirety of our cohabitation. This was pretty easy when it was a few books and a shoebox, but it grows increasingly complicated and I feel drawn to dedicate a sacred space in our home.

It is important to me that he not merely tolerate my path, but understand and respect it. Surprisingly, he knows little about it. Years ago when I went to several Earth-based spirituality meetings he apparently filed it away in his memory as "a women's group." He asserts that he does not care so long as I am happy, but it comes across as somewhat glib and dismissive. We are best friends and it was still very hard to talk to him about details, many of which remain undisclosed. I figure that if I can't be comfortable with my spirituality on the outside with my husband, there is little hope for me to reach beyond myself in the community.

It seems the best first step to me, at any rate, though it is possible that it is a stalling tactic so that I don't have to address the really hard things.

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