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Author Topic: Losing Connection With Deities  (Read 2132 times)

HarpingHawke

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Re: Losing Connection With Deities
« Reply #30 on: March 23, 2018, 04:21:22 pm »
Nevermind, I have since decided cauldron is not suitable for people my age and would delete my account from now on.

I mean...I'm 19, been here since I was 13 (December baby, joined in November five years ago).

A lot of "more senior" members do have in-jokes and the like, and it can certainly make a person feel left out. I think I've mentioned before that I was originally very intimidated when I joined, but what I'm not sure I *have* mentioned is what I learned from being here, though I'm still recovering from a stressful, exhausting, and ultimately fruitless doctor's appointment, so. Bullet Point Time:


- Words Mean Things, especially here. A comment you may make offhand can get lazered in on because people here are real sticklers about phrasing. It's not any issue anyone's taken with your character, just with your words. Like you said, we don't know you.

- An attack on an idea or a nitpick of something you said, again, isn't a commentary on your character or what anyone thinks of you as a person--it's just playing with the idea, separate of the person. Obviously there are cases where this is less cut-and-dry, but.

- When you start a discussion on the internet, you're gonna get a lot of different responses. It's like calling a payphone and not knowing who's gonna pick up on the other side, or having a seance at a slumber party.


ETA: What I'm saying is to not get discouraged!! Forum culture is weird and ours has been growing like a big, grouchy, pedantic mushroom for longer than I've been alive. Taking time to understand it will be helpful to you if you decide to stay here. :)

Additionally, we don't delete accounts. That would make discussions impossible to follow.
« Last Edit: March 23, 2018, 04:24:23 pm by HarpingHawke »
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PerditaPickle

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Re: Losing Connection With Deities
« Reply #31 on: March 23, 2018, 04:21:51 pm »
something coherent in a written medium whilst still making sense.  If you do happen to check back in, OP, and want to hear my thoughts do feel free to send me a PM...  I'll be happy to chat.

Oh darn, tautology - see, I can't make sense (in my defense, it's Friday, it's been a long week and "brain-no-worky").

Also, since I'm quoting myself anyway it might be worth my pointing out, in case anyone does PM me, that I sometimes only log on here once every couple of weeks or so, so it's possible I won't see it straight away...

Jack

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Re: Losing Connection With Deities
« Reply #32 on: March 23, 2018, 04:36:31 pm »


I think it can take a while to process messages from deities and I had phases where I got an image or a sentence from a deity and then it took me half a year to let it sink in before I was able to get back to this deity.

Haha, this is a pretty good point too! Sometimes I think I'm not getting an answer and I'm actually just too dense or distracted to hear it. It happens!

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Jenett

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Re: Losing Connection With Deities
« Reply #33 on: March 23, 2018, 05:30:20 pm »
Hawke, I was hoping you might have some comment, in particular - thank you so much (especially on a day with a fruitless doctor's appointment)

- Words Mean Things, especially here. A comment you may make offhand can get lazered in on because people here are real sticklers about phrasing. It's not any issue anyone's taken with your character, just with your words. Like you said, we don't know you.

Also, we're on the text-based Internet, and the only thing we have are the words. I think it's sometimes really easy to forget that. Tone is notoriously hard to read.

Or people may write a bunch but get distracted mid-sentence.  Or get distracted while reading.

(I have an ongoing during-work-hours exchange with a friend, and I get back a "This sentence should have more words" from her at least twice a week, because I get distracted mid-comment. I'm better on the forum, but sometimes I still look at something and go "Huh, what was I thinking?")

And, as I noted earlier, it's often hard to know what's going on for the people who are replying - maybe they make a short response to something because that's the thing they want to say right now, and they intend to come back for more. But their body or their kid or their job or their partner or their other commitments get in the way, or mean a longer, substantive comment may not be in the cards in the near future.

But they're still reading and thinking about the conversation. Which is a big part of having discussion.
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Waldhexe

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Re: Losing Connection With Deities
« Reply #34 on: March 24, 2018, 02:26:46 am »
But they're still reading and thinking about the conversation. Which is a big part of having discussion.
Yep, I think there are quite some people here who make an effort. ;)

The other part is by the person asking the question. When you're young it can be quite difficult to filter feedback, not take stuff too personal and get something useful from it. I found this difficult when I started to post on pagan forums and I was already 24 or something then...

But I think this recieving/filtering process is also at work when people connect with deities - just somehow different. I think people can block their "channels" (sorry, can't think of a better word, sounds cheesy though) if they still haven't processed the last bit.

I also think this processing resistance or a low processing speed isn't necessarily bad, you can't walk around and be open to deity communication all the time.

New information or new connections will happen if there's a genuine need and openness for them, I think.

What helps me to process is reading myths and information about the deity, expressing images through art or putting symbols on my altar. This also helps to feel connected even if I don't recieve new images every other week. I'm reminded of the images I had recieved and my understanding of them deepens with time.

savveir

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Re: Losing Connection With Deities
« Reply #35 on: March 24, 2018, 05:59:27 am »
The other part is by the person asking the question. When you're young it can be quite difficult to filter feedback, not take stuff too personal and get something useful from it. I found this difficult when I started to post on pagan forums and I was already 24 or something then...

But I think this recieving/filtering process is also at work when people connect with deities - just somehow different. I think people can block their "channels" (sorry, can't think of a better word, sounds cheesy though) if they still haven't processed the last bit.
...

Posts like these are why I like being able to read through different threads.
I have been around on TC for a while, and also absent for long periods of time too. I know that I have been that young person who had a hard time not taking things personally, and near constantly worried that I was doing the wrong thing or annoying people when I replied or started a new thread. Tbh I still worry about that stuff. I personally needed to have a break from TC, and that's okay if it's what you need. TC endures, it'll be there to come back to.

Anyway, lots of people in this thread have had great suggestions that I plan to explore further since I've felt similarly to the OP recently. Lurking has its benefits :)
"I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it."
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SunflowerP

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Re: Losing Connection With Deities
« Reply #36 on: March 25, 2018, 02:51:57 am »
I am still confused about what differentiates a library to a fellowship? Aren't we allowed to make friends here? Surely not! I don't expect members of cauldron to call up my house and invite me for tea. But to have people you know online and which you discuss interesting topics is more what I am after. Labelling cauldron as a "library" makes it seem dead and dry. Which is not something I have observed in the threads. You and I both know that behind our messages, we are actual humans, not robots typing out a "Standard" reply. The way I respond to you is different from the way I respond to Siri or my Google Assistant, whose only job is to provide me information but nothing else.

I see you and any other member as humans who each have a strong passion towards their faith. I usually read people's bios to understand what they practice and to know some info about them. I don't mean to fully understand what has gone on in cauldron since this website has been here for a long time. I don't mind if the story is not shared either. I am just confused on where the lines separate? Are we allowed to make friends here or does everyone else just put a NO on that? I don't understand what cauldron aim to be specifically?

Hi, Melissa,

I'm going to try to clarify this, because even if you don't come back to read it, it might be useful to other people as well.

'Library' was Morbid's analogy, not something Jenett said, so it shouldn't be taken as having official 'labelling TC' status.

What usually is said in contrast to fellowship here - and as far as I'm aware this phrasing originated with TC's Host and co-founder, Randall, so it's pretty official - is, 'TC is a discussion and debate forum, not a fellowship forum.' What that means is not that people aren't allowed to develop friendships here, but that discussion and debate takes priority - our rules are aimed at facilitating discussion and debate even when that doesn't facilitate friendship, fellowship, or community harmony.

Or as it's put in the rules (scroll down to the section headed 'The "Miscellaneous" Rules'): 'The Cauldron: A Pagan Forum is a discussion and debate board devoted to critical thinking. Beliefs and ideas that may be accepted with little question on some other boards will likely be strongly questioned here. While we ask our more experienced members to be polite in refuting incorrect information and dodgy ideas, The Cauldron: A Pagan Forum is devoted to critical thinking, so expect to see incorrect information and ideas mercilessly (and often bluntly) shot down and be aware that if there are likely mundane explanations for something, they are going to preferred to supernatural explanations. If this is unacceptable to you, chances are that this forum is not the message board for you.'

Or, more colloquially, while it's not against the rules to like each other, or to form friendships, we don't have to like each other, we just have to (to quote the Executive Rules Summary at the top of the main rules page) not be jackasses. (What 'not being a jackass' means on TC is expanded by the detailed rules.)

I hope that's clearer!

Sunflower
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SunflowerP

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Re: Losing Connection With Deities
« Reply #37 on: March 25, 2018, 04:15:09 am »
I want to put everything behind and start being nice to people but you have to open this up and attack me personally. Of course the moderators on this site will come to the rescue because you are a more senior member.
<snip>
Since that incident, where I was reprimanded by a moderator for misunderstanding something that could very well be misunderstood, I was put in the wrong while your mistake was brushed off and cushioned by a fellow moderator on cauldron, who should be taking his/her job with less favouritism.
<snip>
I was reprimanded for being angry towards someone who was rude to me at the first place.

Count on you to focus on that one sentence out of all the replies on this thread and to obviously ignore the main topic of the conversation. Thanks.

In a thread where I asked about how to improve my connection with my deities, some people are here to pick and choose to just have a word against me. They would pick out a single word or sentence out of your explanations on something that isn't remotely discussing that and twist it against you. It is clearly proven here and before. I was attacked personally 3 times on this thread when all I did was to seek knowledge. And still, I will be the one in the wrong.

*** MOD HAT ON ***
Melissa,

We (staff) have the Discord logs (so, I believe, does everyone who cares to dig for it - Discord logs everything forever); spinning your recounting of it so that it appears you were moderated unfairly won't work. You were not 'reprimanded for misunderstanding something'; you were reprimanded - and issued a formal warning - for making a personal attack under TC's rules. It is not relevant whether you made that attack in response to misunderstanding; it would not even be relevant if what Morbid said in chat had been directed at you. The rules don't say, 'do not make personal attacks unless you were attacked first', they just say, 'do not make personal attacks'

If what Morbid said had been directed at you, he too would have been warned. Since it wasn't directed at you, he did not make a mistake, he did not violate any rules, he was not 'rude to you first', and he was not 'cushioned'. This is not 'favoritism', unless you're complaining because rule-violators and non-rule-violators are treated differently.

You mention people attacking you several times, and in one of the posts I quote, make the specific statement 'I was attacked personally 3 times on this thread'. If they are indeed personal attacks according to TC's rules, use the 'report to moderator' button (located at the lower right of the post) on each post in which they occurred. If they are not personal attacks in the rules-violating sense, or if you're not willing to report them, do not make accusations in-thread; that in itself is a personal attack on your part.

Your accusations about staff's motivations for moderating you are also personal attacks. We do not moderate you because you're new and not one of the 'in group'; we moderate you because you break the rules.

You also make hostile remarks (another form of personal attack under the rules), notably the one to Darkhawk objecting to them responding to only one point in your post. That post of yours also constitutes attempting to tell others how to behave on the board, which is another rules violation.

For the various rules violations mentioned above, I am giving you your second formal warning/strike. A third strike will result in a temporary gag (usually for a week).


Nevermind, I have since decided cauldron is not suitable for people my age and would delete my account from now on.

*** MOD HAT ON ***
As HarpingHawke already noted, but I'm reiterating it to make it official, we don't delete accounts. (That's mentioned in the rules too, in 'The "Miscellaneous" Rules', where you will also find instructions on what to do if you want to leave TC.)

If you do return, I strongly suggest that you read TC's rules carefully, to ensure you're familiar with them, since it's apparent from your behavior in this thread that you're not.

Sunflower
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I'm the AntiFa genderqueer commie eclectic wiccan Mod your alt-right bros warned you about.
I do so have a life; I just live part of it online!
“Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.” - Oscar Wilde
"Nobody's good at anything until they practice." - Brina (Yewberry)
My much-neglected blog "If You Ain't Makin' Waves, You Ain't Kickin' Hard Enough"

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