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Author Topic: Learn the Mysteries of UR  (Read 1804 times)

LucaGrigori

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Learn the Mysteries of UR
« on: September 27, 2012, 09:46:25 am »
What is real?

Why am I alive? What is my purpose? Why am I so different than others?

If you have the desire, if you are the arrow longing for the other shore, if you are tired of the pomp and circumstance of what you have been told is the answer, if you desire knowledge and seek true understanding and you are ready for the responsibility that comes with real power I am looking for you.

I am a member of the fabled tradition of UR – the study and mastery of the real mysteries – and I am seeking an acolyte for an apprenticeship.

I will share with you our secrets and teach you how to bring mold your ego into a state of superhuman power and awareness that will allow you to impose your will “magically” on the world.

You will learn the practice of ancient Tantric and Buddhist rituals and study rare Hermetic texts.

You will learn the truth and forever be changed.

The road to this wisdom and power is not easy and once you have set out on the journey there is no turning back.

Only the most intelligent, driven, and bold will succeed. Therefore, if you wish to begin this training, you must enter into a dialog with me and prove your worthiness.

Only one will be chosen.

If you are a woman of legal age and sound mind and with to begin a dialog with me you must email me at SPAM@creepyguy.
« Last Edit: September 27, 2012, 11:11:31 am by HeartShadow »

yewberry

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Re: Learn the Mysteries of UR
« Reply #1 on: September 27, 2012, 09:47:48 am »
Quote from: LucaGrigori;75214
What is real?

Why am I alive? What is my purpose? Why am I so different than others?

If you have the desire, if you are the arrow longing for the other shore, if you are tired of the pomp and circumstance of what you have been told is the answer, if you desire knowledge and seek true understanding and you are ready for the responsibility that comes with real power I am looking for you.

I am a member of the fabled tradition of UR – the study and mastery of the real mysteries – and I am seeking an acolyte for an apprenticeship.

I will share with you our secrets and teach you how to bring mold your ego into a state of superhuman power and awareness that will allow you to impose your will “magically” on the world.

You will learn the practice of ancient Tantric and Buddhist rituals and study rare Hermetic texts.

You will learn the truth and forever be changed.

The road to this wisdom and power is not easy and once you have set out on the journey there is no turning back.

Only the most intelligent, driven, and bold will succeed. Therefore, if you wish to begin this training, you must enter into a dialog with me and prove your worthiness.

Only one will be chosen.

Yeaaaaaaah.

Brina
« Last Edit: September 27, 2012, 09:50:50 am by yewberry »

Fier

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Re: Learn the Mysteries of UR
« Reply #2 on: September 27, 2012, 09:58:41 am »
Quote from: LucaGrigori;75214


I will share with you our secrets and teach you how to bring mold your ego into a state of superhuman power and awareness that will allow you to impose your will “magically” on the world.

 
How much will this cost me?

yewberry

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Re: Learn the Mysteries of UR
« Reply #3 on: September 27, 2012, 10:09:07 am »
Quote from: FierFlye;75219
How much will this cost me?

Didn't you check my link?  You can try it for free!

Brina

ETA:  Props, though.  At least it was creative spam.
« Last Edit: September 27, 2012, 10:10:04 am by yewberry »

veggiewolf

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Re: Learn the Mysteries of UR
« Reply #4 on: September 27, 2012, 10:10:47 am »
Quote from: LucaGrigori;75214
...
If you are a woman of legal age and sound mind and with to begin a dialog with me you must email me at SPAM@creepyguy.

Must I?  Must I also be a unicorn?
« Last Edit: September 27, 2012, 11:10:52 am by HeartShadow »
Fluid Morality - my spiritual blog
Eating Monsters - my mental health blog

"Religion does not define a deity- it defines the human approach and interpretation of deity." - Juni
"I hate magical thinking in my magic." - Darkhawk
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stephyjh

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Learn the Mysteries of UR
« Reply #5 on: September 27, 2012, 10:43:37 am »
Quote from: LucaGrigori;75214
What is real?

Why am I alive? What is my purpose? Why am I so different than others?

If you have the desire, if you are the arrow longing for the other shore, if you are tired of the pomp and circumstance of what you have been told is the answer, if you desire knowledge and seek true understanding and you are ready for the responsibility that comes with real power I am looking for you.

I am a member of the fabled tradition of UR – the study and mastery of the real mysteries – and I am seeking an acolyte for an apprenticeship.

I will share with you our secrets and teach you how to bring mold your ego into a state of superhuman power and awareness that will allow you to impose your will “magically” on the world.

You will learn the practice of ancient Tantric and Buddhist rituals and study rare Hermetic texts.

You will learn the truth and forever be changed.

The road to this wisdom and power is not easy and once you have set out on the journey there is no turning back.

Only the most intelligent, driven, and bold will succeed. Therefore, if you wish to begin this training, you must enter into a dialog with me and prove your worthiness.

Only one will be chosen.

If you are a woman of legal age and sound mind and with to begin a dialog with me you must email me at SPAM@creepyguy.

Sounds to me like "apply now to be my next abuse victim."
« Last Edit: September 27, 2012, 11:10:28 am by HeartShadow »
A heretic blast has been blown in the west,
That what is no sense must be nonsense.

-Robert Burns

HeartShadow

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Re: Learn the Mysteries of UR
« Reply #6 on: September 27, 2012, 10:58:38 am »
Quote from: LucaGrigori;75214


 
As a woman of sound mind and of legal age, as well as staff here, I have banned you.  Too bad, so sad, don't need your spam here.

I'll leave the post, though, as people seem to be having fun.  And at least there aren't any tennis outfits involved!

Tana

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Re: Learn the Mysteries of UR
« Reply #7 on: September 27, 2012, 11:05:24 am »
Quote from: HeartShadow;75230
And at least there aren't any tennis outfits involved!

 
*giggle-snort-coffee-spit*
Gotta be thankful for the little things!
\'You had to repay, good or bad. There was more than one type of obligation.
That’s what people never really understood.….Things had to balance.
You couldn’t set out to be a good witch or a bad witch. It never worked out for long.
All you could try to be was a witch, as hard as you could.\'
Terry Pratchett \'Lords and Ladies\'

Confuzzled and proud. :p

stephyjh

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Learn the Mysteries of UR
« Reply #8 on: September 27, 2012, 02:58:31 pm »
Quote from: Tana;75231
*giggle-snort-coffee-spit*
Gotta be thankful for the little things!

Damn, I was hoping for Shad in one of those little skirts!
A heretic blast has been blown in the west,
That what is no sense must be nonsense.

-Robert Burns

RandallS

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Re: Learn the Mysteries of UR
« Reply #9 on: September 27, 2012, 07:04:45 pm »
Quote from: yewberry;75215
Yeaaaaaaah.

Wow! I enjoy the occasional match three game. Does this mean I know the Secrets of the Universe™?
Randall
RetroRoleplaying [Blog]: Microlite74/75/78/81, BX Advanced, and Other Old School Tabletop RPGs
Microlite20: Lots of Rules Lite Tabletop RPGs -- Many Free
OSR.SPACE: Old School Tabletop RPG Community

yewberry

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Re: Learn the Mysteries of UR
« Reply #10 on: September 28, 2012, 09:50:08 am »
Quote from: RandallS;75262
Wow! I enjoy the occasional match three game. Does this mean I know the Secrets of the Universe™?


You'll always be my favorite priestess, Randall.  Now if we can just get you into a tennis dress...

Brina

stephyjh

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Learn the Mysteries of UR
« Reply #11 on: September 28, 2012, 02:40:42 pm »
Quote from: yewberry;75288
You'll always be my favorite priestess, Randall.  Now if we can just get you into a tennis dress...

Brina

Dammit! I broke Rule Number One again! *wipes off screen*
A heretic blast has been blown in the west,
That what is no sense must be nonsense.

-Robert Burns

RandallS

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Re: Learn the Mysteries of UR
« Reply #12 on: September 28, 2012, 06:22:25 pm »
Quote from: yewberry;75288
You'll always be my favorite priestess, Randall.  Now if we can just get you into a tennis dress...

Wow! Not only do I apparently know the Secrets of the Universe™, but I am somehow qualified to be a priestess with a free tennis dress. All from reading Spam. Simply amazing.
Randall
RetroRoleplaying [Blog]: Microlite74/75/78/81, BX Advanced, and Other Old School Tabletop RPGs
Microlite20: Lots of Rules Lite Tabletop RPGs -- Many Free
OSR.SPACE: Old School Tabletop RPG Community

IceAngie

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Re: Learn the Mysteries of UR
« Reply #13 on: September 28, 2012, 06:47:52 pm »
Quote from: veggiewolf;75222
Must I?  Must I also be a unicorn?

 
Oh. Thanks to your link I found out some other words whose meanings I ignored. Apparently I'm queer.

Annie Roonie

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Re: Learn the Mysteries of UR
« Reply #14 on: September 28, 2012, 08:14:08 pm »
Quote from: LucaGrigori;75214

You will learn the truth and forever be changed.


I took a walk with my friend and her toddler daughter today and we had to makeshift a diaper because we overlooked packing some. And little girl did not like being changed. At all. She wanted to be free of diapers. "No more changing!" So when I read this, I pictured her little fist and scrunched up face saying adamantly, "NO!" to this offer.

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