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Author Topic: when a spell doesn't seem to be working.  (Read 6614 times)

Kahina

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when a spell doesn't seem to be working.
« on: August 13, 2014, 02:24:44 pm »
I'm wondering if there's something I missed. See, I'm a student-practioneer, so performing spells is something I've just gotten started in. Recently, I performed a binding - I bound an item my cousin gave me so as to have her not speak to me unless I initiate conversation first.

So far, it held up - no texts, no calls, and as far as Facebook went, she would only like a status or comment 'around' me {that is, not address /me/, perse}. Today, however, she directly commented and is attempting to speak at me.

I assume I wasn't clear enough in my spell? I feel like I might've left a few holes. I know spells don't always work {due to a great number of things}, however, this was holding up quite fine - until today. Which leaves me to secondguess my handiwork.

Should I have been more specific in what I meant by 'communication'?
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random417

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Re: when a spell doesn't seem to be working.
« Reply #1 on: August 13, 2014, 02:49:09 pm »
Quote from: Kahina;155590
I'm wondering if there's something I missed. See, I'm a student-practioneer, so performing spells is something I've just gotten started in. Recently, I performed a binding - I bound an item my cousin gave me so as to have her not speak to me unless I initiate conversation first.

So far, it held up - no texts, no calls, and as far as Facebook went, she would only like a status or comment 'around' me {that is, not address /me/, perse}. Today, however, she directly commented and is attempting to speak at me.

I assume I wasn't clear enough in my spell? I feel like I might've left a few holes. I know spells don't always work {due to a great number of things}, however, this was holding up quite fine - until today. Which leaves me to secondguess my handiwork.

Should I have been more specific in what I meant by 'communication'?
Because it was working, I would guess that the you communicating with her condition was somehow filled, and that opened the door so to speak. Did you like our comment on anything that she posted? Alternatively, did you do anything she might consider a message? Post anything that might have special relevance to her or the like?

That's my thoughts anyway. Give it some thought, and see if it fits
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Redfaery

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Re: when a spell doesn't seem to be working.
« Reply #2 on: August 13, 2014, 02:50:29 pm »
Quote from: Kahina;155590
I'm wondering if there's something I missed. See, I'm a student-practioneer, so performing spells is something I've just gotten started in. Recently, I performed a binding - I bound an item my cousin gave me so as to have her not speak to me unless I initiate conversation first.

So far, it held up - no texts, no calls, and as far as Facebook went, she would only like a status or comment 'around' me {that is, not address /me/, perse}. Today, however, she directly commented and is attempting to speak at me.

 
How long did the binding work? Perhaps it simply wore off, so to speak. On the other hand, was the contact she made with you today bothersome? Is she behaving herself? Perhaps the binding spell has worked in a different way than you intended, and now she will no longer engage in the behavior that made communication with her undesirable.
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Kahina

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Re: when a spell doesn't seem to be working.
« Reply #3 on: August 13, 2014, 03:02:04 pm »
Quote from: random417;155592
Because it was working, I would guess that the you communicating with her condition was somehow filled, and that opened the door so to speak. Did you like our comment on anything that she posted? Alternatively, did you do anything she might consider a message? Post anything that might have special relevance to her or the like?

That's my thoughts anyway. Give it some thought, and see if it fits

 
I made a status that seems to have gotten her attention, which I didn't think it would - I usually post things about my thoughts, and observations. She jumped in this time around, so I'm thinking the specific status I posted could've been seen as an 'initiation' on my end for her to speak to me.
"be careful, you are not in Wonderland. i\'ve heard the strange madness long growing in your soul, in your isolation."

Kahina

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Re: when a spell doesn't seem to be working.
« Reply #4 on: August 13, 2014, 03:04:36 pm »
Quote from: Redfaery;155593
How long did the binding work? Perhaps it simply wore off, so to speak. On the other hand, was the contact she made with you today bothersome? Is she behaving herself? Perhaps the binding spell has worked in a different way than you intended, and now she will no longer engage in the behavior that made communication with her undesirable.


Her first post was alright. I then replied {which then nulls my binding and allows for communication in this specific case} - and she said something off-key, so now I'm a bit agitated.

I think my status fell under the 'initation' part of the deal - it's a general enough of a status that anybody can comment, and I guess the particular topic caught her interest, so she replied. I'm thinking I need to perform another binding and be a bit more specific because almost anything she says just gets under my skin. She's not a positive person for my mental health, she treats me like a child, and half of the things she says are just - wrong.
"be careful, you are not in Wonderland. i\'ve heard the strange madness long growing in your soul, in your isolation."

Sarah

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Re: when a spell doesn't seem to be working.
« Reply #5 on: August 13, 2014, 03:08:54 pm »
Quote from: Kahina;155595
Her first post was alright. I then replied {which then nulls my binding and allows for communication in this specific case} - and she said something off-key, so now I'm a bit agitated.

I think my status fell under the 'initation' part of the deal - it's a general enough of a status that anybody can comment, and I guess the particular topic caught her interest, so she replied. I'm thinking I need to perform another binding and be a bit more specific because almost anything she says just gets under my skin. She's not a positive person for my mental health, she treats me like a child, and half of the things she says are just - wrong.

 
you could unfriend or block her?
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Sarah

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Re: when a spell doesn't seem to be working.
« Reply #6 on: August 13, 2014, 03:12:35 pm »
Quote from: Jake_;155596
you could unfriend or block her?

 
or if you don't want the fall out from her knowing you unfriended her you can use your custom settings to make sure she can't see your posts
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Re: when a spell doesn't seem to be working.
« Reply #7 on: August 13, 2014, 03:22:01 pm »
Quote from: Kahina;155590

Should I have been more specific in what I meant by 'communication'?

 
In general, the most successful spells are very clear about the desired outcome. The more conditions you put on that outcome, the more failure points there are.

And one thing to be cautious of with bindings is that they change the underlying context in ways, and effective magic has to take that into account (so you need something that makes sense in the context *now*, and also the context once the binding is in place.) I also believe that binding in this manner opens you up to being bound in similar ways, so it's something I've always been cautious with.

So, there's a couple of ways you could go at this:

1) If it's Facebook (or specific places) that are a problem you could use the mundane tools associated with that (it's possible to block someone on Facebook, or to use filtered lists to make sure they can't see things you don't want them to comment on.)

2) If, say, you like talking to her in person, but Facebook just isn't working for communication, you could be direct and tell her that - a "Hey, I keep finding that our conversations on Facebook go directions that leave me feeling anxious. I'm sure it's not a thing you mean to do, but I wanted to tell you that I'd be [removing you from my friends list/blocking you/ignoring your comments] there, but it's still fine to talk at family parties or email me if you'd like to get together."

This isn't magic, but it does give her more of a say in what's going on (and if she's a generally decent human being who is just lousy with what she says sometimes, it's a lot more fair and a lot more respectful of her agency in the interactions.)

3) You could try a very general magic to sweeten the interactions (focusing on having the kind of interactions you do enjoy with her, rather than blocking some of them in a not-very-well-defined manner.

4) You could do a specific ban, but expect to refine it (and repeat it: in such a case, I'd actually set it to run no more than a month at a time, and keep renewing it when you decide to, with whatever changes you make each time.) This will allow you a lot more control and refinement. But, as above, I think it is actually not the best solution for both ethical and practical reasons.
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Kahina

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Re: when a spell doesn't seem to be working.
« Reply #8 on: August 13, 2014, 03:30:02 pm »
Quote from: Jake_;155598
or if you don't want the fall out from her knowing you unfriended her you can use your custom settings to make sure she can't see your posts

 
if i outright block or unfriend her, she'll have a cow and then proceed to exacerbate my anxiety via guilt tripping.

i didn't know you could customize who can see your posts, however. i'll do that now o:
"be careful, you are not in Wonderland. i\'ve heard the strange madness long growing in your soul, in your isolation."

Kahina

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Re: when a spell doesn't seem to be working.
« Reply #9 on: August 13, 2014, 03:31:43 pm »
Quote from: Jenett;155600
In general, the most successful spells are very clear about the desired outcome. The more conditions you put on that outcome, the more failure points there are.

And one thing to be cautious of with bindings is that they change the underlying context in ways, and effective magic has to take that into account (so you need something that makes sense in the context *now*, and also the context once the binding is in place.) I also believe that binding in this manner opens you up to being bound in similar ways, so it's something I've always been cautious with.

So, there's a couple of ways you could go at this:

1) If it's Facebook (or specific places) that are a problem you could use the mundane tools associated with that (it's possible to block someone on Facebook, or to use filtered lists to make sure they can't see things you don't want them to comment on.)

2) If, say, you like talking to her in person, but Facebook just isn't working for communication, you could be direct and tell her that - a "Hey, I keep finding that our conversations on Facebook go directions that leave me feeling anxious. I'm sure it's not a thing you mean to do, but I wanted to tell you that I'd be [removing you from my friends list/blocking you/ignoring your comments] there, but it's still fine to talk at family parties or email me if you'd like to get together."

This isn't magic, but it does give her more of a say in what's going on (and if she's a generally decent human being who is just lousy with what she says sometimes, it's a lot more fair and a lot more respectful of her agency in the interactions.)

3) You could try a very general magic to sweeten the interactions (focusing on having the kind of interactions you do enjoy with her, rather than blocking some of them in a not-very-well-defined manner.

4) You could do a specific ban, but expect to refine it (and repeat it: in such a case, I'd actually set it to run no more than a month at a time, and keep renewing it when you decide to, with whatever changes you make each time.) This will allow you a lot more control and refinement. But, as above, I think it is actually not the best solution for both ethical and practical reasons.

 
thank you. i just went ahead and made sure she can't see any of my posts for the time being. i won't do anything to the binding - it's still in effect, and has been working otherwise.

if anything, this is a good lesson for me to know what's working when i do a spell, and what isn't.
"be careful, you are not in Wonderland. i\'ve heard the strange madness long growing in your soul, in your isolation."

Wimsaur

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Re: when a spell doesn't seem to be working.
« Reply #10 on: September 10, 2014, 11:37:48 am »
It didn't work because she is not a blind force to respond to your command, but a living human being with her own free will.
Your mistake was to use magick where talking to her and telling her to leave you alone would have been better. If that doesn't work, you can block her calls and internet correspondence.
Else, you can get a restraining order.

Redfaery

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Re: when a spell doesn't seem to be working.
« Reply #11 on: September 10, 2014, 03:40:03 pm »
Quote from: Wimsaur;158614
It didn't work because she is not a blind force to respond to your command, but a living human being with her own free will.
Your mistake was to use magick where talking to her and telling her to leave you alone would have been better. If that doesn't work, you can block her calls and internet correspondence.
Else, you can get a restraining order.
So the OP should have resorted to a direct confrontation with a family member, which they said up front was something that would have unpleasant consequences, which is why they wanted to avoid it. Binding spells work, and they can be a lot less hurtful and disruptive than telling someone you don't like them.
KARMA: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Wimsaur

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Re: when a spell doesn't seem to be working.
« Reply #12 on: September 10, 2014, 04:54:06 pm »
Quote from: Redfaery;158634
So the OP should have resorted to a direct confrontation with a family member, which they said up front was something that would have unpleasant consequences, which is why they wanted to avoid it. Binding spells work, and they can be a lot less hurtful and disruptive than telling someone you don't like them.

Yes, they should have. Life can be unpleasant and must be endured and overcome.

The goal of Magick is to perfect yourself. This includes facing and overcoming obstacles on a human level.

If people are not strong enough to stand up for themselves without witchcraft, they are DEFINITELY not strong enough to face the repercussions of using magick for offensive purposes.

And for the record, using magick on other people against their will IS Black Magick.

Redfaery

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Re: when a spell doesn't seem to be working.
« Reply #13 on: September 10, 2014, 05:07:21 pm »
Quote
The goal of Magick is to perfect yourself.
I was not aware that was the only acceptable goal. So what do you think of the use of magic in hoodoo and other African diaspora traditions?
KARMA: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

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Re: when a spell doesn't seem to be working.
« Reply #14 on: September 10, 2014, 06:33:54 pm »
Quote from: Wimsaur;158614
It didn't work because she is not a blind force to respond to your command, but a living human being with her own free will.
Your mistake was to use magick where talking to her and telling her to leave you alone would have been better. If that doesn't work, you can block her calls and internet correspondence.
Else, you can get a restraining order.

 
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