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Author Topic: Spell Elements for Motivation?  (Read 3062 times)

Aisling

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Re: Spell Elements for Motivation?
« Reply #15 on: December 23, 2018, 12:52:15 pm »
The concern about snarkiness gave me the impression that I had run afoul of the rules for a Beginner-Friendly board.  Since I have now double-checked that the folk magic board is not beginner-friendly, I suppose this was the wrong track.

In the event of a rules violation, you would see a public "Mod Hat On" warning issued by a staff member posted directly on the thread.  Most of the staff also post as regular members, so these warnings are always clearly marked and labelled as such.
 
a) I gave the mental health equivalent to "I am not a lawyer, but I have had a little experience with a legal problem that could be similar.  This was the process I experienced. If you think this might be it, then please consult a lawyer."

The way your post read came across as "I am not a lawyer but I have experienced a specific legal problem.  Therefore, you have this legal problem and here's what you need to do."  It may be a situation where the meaning that you had in mind wasn't full expressed in your words or where word choice gave an unintended twist on the meaning that was conveyed.  It happens often, which is why folks will ask for clarification on intent and meaning.   


Discussing this possibility helps to normalize neurodivergence and destigmatize.

Discussions about mental health issues can be helpful, but, again, how the information is conveyed is vitally important.  Based on the tone and content of your post, it was not a discussion, so much as a projecting of an issue onto another person without any collaborating information about that person. Giving mundane advice isn't the issue. It's the presentation and the accompanying leaps in assumption that folks are finding problematic. It's the equivalent of having a verbal conversation and being so focused on crafting your own response about your own experience that you don't listen to what the other person is actually asking.

Let me use an analogy that's less contentious and removes the potential stigmatization factor to illustrate what I mean by presentation and leaps in assumption:
 
OP: "I'm having trouble getting from point a to point b.  Can someone suggest spell elements to promote  smooth travel?" 

Possible response # 1,
I reply: "Having trouble getting where you need to be suggests to me like it could be mechanical issue with with your car.  I have some experience with friends whose car troubles were caused by a rod knocking.  Disclaimer: I am not a mechanic and am not qualified to diagnosis what's wrong with anyone's car.   The spell elements I would suggest: 1). A mechanic, who can determine if further work is needed. 2.) Perhaps an expert in rebuilding engines. 3). a new vehicle if appropriate. There are other things that you can do like renting a car, but it's probably best if that's accompanied by conversation with a loan officer about the possibility of financing a new car. Also, if there's an issue with the rod bearing, fix that first." 

Note: There's no discussion here; it's a monologue. The OP hasn't even mentioned a car, but I've assumed, because of my own experience, that this is the issue.  I've possibly conveyed a bit of snark or disdain toward the OP by labeling mundane actions as spell elements, perhaps with the intention of suggesting that the OP is a novice who doesn't understand the need for mundane actions.  I've also used imperative mood in providing solutions, which both gives the impression of giving commands to the OP and reinforces the idea that I'm projecting the problems that my friends have experienced to the OP's situation. 

Possible response # 2
I reply: "I have a mundane idea that might help.  Mind, I'm not a mechanic, but a couple people I know had issues due to a rod knocking.  You might want to have it checked by a mechanic to see if that's the issue. If so, you might be able to have the rod bearings replaced... or it may mean having the engine replaced or rebuilt."

Note: There's still a presumptive leap and advice that might not be warranted with this response. However, the information has been conveyed in a way that doesn't leave the OP feeling like I'm being condescending about their knowledge and experience level.  I've also softened the edge of the imperative mood by saying 'you might'  or 'it may'rather than giving a list of commands. 'Might' also puts out there that my solution isn't necessarily the solution.

Possible response # 3
I reply: "That's rough.  Since there are a lot of reasons why a journey might not go well, can you elaborate or give some specifics?  Is it car trouble?  If so, I might be able to help." 

Note:  This is where we start getting into an actual discussion.  I've extended an offer to help without making presumptions about the OP's situation and asked questions that can help guide my response. At this point the OP might say "Yes, it's my car and it's making this horrible hammering sound" and I could then share my experience by saying "I know you wanted magical advice, but it sound like a rod knocking, which needs a mundane fix. Are you able to get the car checked by a mechanic?" 

Or the OP could reply with something that I hadn't considered - "No, I'm stuck on a flight layover in Chicago because the airport in Cleveland is shut down due to a snow storm.  The entire trip has been like this - problems at every turn. Since I'm staying overnight at a hotel here, I thought I'd use the time to give this mess a magical push."  At that point, I can address the specific circumstances of the OP's situation.
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EmberHearth

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Re: Spell Elements for Motivation?
« Reply #16 on: December 23, 2018, 09:35:56 pm »
The way your post read came across as "I am not a lawyer but I have experienced a specific legal problem.  Therefore, you have this legal problem and here's what you need to do."  It may be a situation where the meaning that you had in mind wasn't full expressed in your words or where word choice gave an unintended twist on the meaning that was conveyed.  It happens often, which is why folks will ask for clarification on intent and meaning.   

And that's why I've tried to clarify.

Discussions about mental health issues can be helpful, but, again, how the information is conveyed is vitally important.  Based on the tone and content of your post, it was not a discussion, so much as a projecting of an issue onto another person without any collaborating information about that person. Giving mundane advice isn't the issue. It's the presentation and the accompanying leaps in assumption that folks are finding problematic. It's the equivalent of having a verbal conversation and being so focused on crafting your own response about your own experience that you don't listen to what the other person is actually asking.

It was a very old thread.  While I hadn't noticed that the OP went inactive,  I didn't expect a discussion.

If I were posting the initial reply now, I would say something more like this:

"I see you have received some magical correspondences. What I haven't seen is any discussion of mundane causes for lack of motivation.

In my experience, for spells to be effective, they should include a mundane component, either before, after, or sandwiching the spell.

IME, lack of motivation has been a psychological concern.  My therapist has helped me to identify the roots of my own procrastination.

I'm not a psych professional.  Even if I were, one cannot diagnose a third party over the net.

Have you ruled out things like depression, anxiety, or ADHD?  Any or all of these can cause problems with starting projects, and they are highly treatable by the appropriate professionals."

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