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Author Topic: Love containment spell, excluding a desire for romance within myself  (Read 3011 times)

Elementalist

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Okay,

This is going to sound weird because its the opposite of what most people desire but here goes. My romantic life has been disasterous and yet I cannot seem to either find a better form of love nor extinguish my desire for it. I am not young, I'm in midlife and this has been the one thing in my life to cause me constant pain. I am okay with being alone, I can provide for myself etc. I just don't want to feel the intense desire that I do to find a love match.

I have the love of my pets, my love of nature and projects and altruism but this business of romantic love is something I truly want to die within myself. I have done numerous readings on the subject and the answer is always the same. I am just not meant to be partnered in this life time. I can accept that but I desperately want to no longer feel the pull towards that which never comes to me.

So I want to contain the experience of love within myself and my desire for it, to these other forms of non-romantic love. I'm not sure on how to approach this project. I don't want to kill a desire for all forms of love, just the human-partner kind.

Ideas?

Valentine

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Re: Love containment spell, excluding a desire for romance within myself
« Reply #1 on: October 24, 2014, 03:53:16 am »
Quote from: Elementalist;163349
Okay,

This is going to sound weird because its the opposite of what most people desire but here goes. My romantic life has been disasterous and yet I cannot seem to either find a better form of love nor extinguish my desire for it. I am not young, I'm in midlife and this has been the one thing in my life to cause me constant pain. I am okay with being alone, I can provide for myself etc. I just don't want to feel the intense desire that I do to find a love match.

I have the love of my pets, my love of nature and projects and altruism but this business of romantic love is something I truly want to die within myself. I have done numerous readings on the subject and the answer is always the same. I am just not meant to be partnered in this life time. I can accept that but I desperately want to no longer feel the pull towards that which never comes to me.

So I want to contain the experience of love within myself and my desire for it, to these other forms of non-romantic love. I'm not sure on how to approach this project. I don't want to kill a desire for all forms of love, just the human-partner kind.

Ideas?

 
I don't know how deity-focused you want to make this, but there are a lot of deities with sworn-celibate orders of devotees--not just the God of Abraham, of course, but Hestia/Vesta, for instance--who might warmly welcome someone looking for a life without human romantic/sexual partners and offer some kind of blessing in another area of life in return, even if the blessing is just easing the yearning.  It might be worth looking into.
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Elementalist

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Re: Love containment spell, excluding a desire for romance within myself
« Reply #2 on: October 24, 2014, 04:57:25 am »
Quote from: Valentine;163354
I don't know how deity-focused you want to make this, but there are a lot of deities with sworn-celibate orders of devotees--not just the God of Abraham, of course, but Hestia/Vesta, for instance--who might warmly welcome someone looking for a life without human romantic/sexual partners and offer some kind of blessing in another area of life in return, even if the blessing is just easing the yearning.  It might be worth looking into.


Thanks. I'd nt thought of that to be honest because I am not deity focused. But its an interesting idea.

Faemon

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Re: Love containment spell, excluding a desire for romance within myself
« Reply #3 on: October 24, 2014, 06:07:32 am »
Quote from: Elementalist;163349
I just don't want to feel the intense desire that I do to find a love match. I have the love of my pets, my love of nature and projects and altruism but this business of romantic love is something I truly want to die within myself.

 
Disclaimer: I'm a layperson, not a psychologist. It's just that I'm under treatment of Jungian therapy.

And, from what I understand of that theory, the people we fall in "love" or infatuation with are usually displaying things that we repress in ourselves except in a more positive way than with the Shadow.

That isn't a spell so much as a series of meditations, but if you think about the types of people that you've fallen for, what made them fall for you, and... inevitably, that's why a lot of relationships fail, because people tend to fall more in love with the idea of the person that's formed in their subconscious, than they could ever love the actual person because of that subconscious tangle.

So, when you can pinpoint what they represented to you, then you can find ways to fulfill that emotional need that doesn't necessarily use another person by proxy in a romantic song and dance, and thus you fall out of that sort of love or at least no longer require that to self-actualize.
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Elementalist

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Re: Love containment spell, excluding a desire for romance within myself
« Reply #4 on: October 24, 2014, 05:52:09 pm »
Quote from: Faemon;163358

That isn't a spell so much as a series of meditations,

So, when you can pinpoint what they represented to you, then you can find ways to fulfill that emotional need that doesn't necessarily use another person by proxy in a romantic song and dance, and thus you fall out of that sort of love or at least no longer require that to self-actualize.

 
Thank you both! The answer came perfectly from both suggestions. You are right this isn't about pining for love but about integrating something of the self from where it is into a more wholesome place. I came to the subject there of Aeval. A fairy queen known for taking care of women's sexual satisfaction. Odd little folklore but actually just perfect for my purpose.

I went into the astral last night and called upon Aeval, requesting to work with her and understand her knowledge and help to integrate my own sexuality into something more useful. Once there I received the knowledge that I am bleeding my sexual energy all over the place and it's not healthy, leading to these feelings of intense neediness and disillusionment. I am now going to work with this Queen to first of all contain my energies then learn the proper use of them.

Thanks again. ;)

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