let's heal my knee!

[yewberry]

Congratulations you've now reached a point where no one who reads this thread will respect you or take you seriously ever because, frankly, you're acting like an entitled asshole.

Is anyone else even a little happy that maybe not all the entitled assholes are Americans?


 
Brina

[Fionnbharr]

Congratulations you've now reached a point where no one who reads this thread will respect you or take you seriously ever because, frankly, you're acting like an entitled asshole.

 
That is fine, who really cares anyway. I just realized something amazing and with that I will leave you all (and this forum for good) and will venture forth into the "real" world where bullies do not hide behind their screens. Where bullies have to actually face the ones they bully. So any staff are more than welcome to completely delete my account if they see fit. And I will leave you all with the idea that you have won a great epic battle. Eradicated a nasty pest. Slain a beast of mythical proportions. Or what stories you one day wish to tell your grandchildren.

[Sage]

That is fine, who really cares anyway. I just realized something amazing and with that I will leave you all (and this forum for good) and will venture forth into the "real" world where bullies do not hide behind their screens. Where bullies have to actually face the ones they bully. So any staff are more than welcome to completely delete my account if they see fit. And I will leave you all with the idea that you have won a great epic battle. Eradicated a nasty pest. Slain a beast of mythical proportions. Or what stories you one day wish to tell your grandchildren.

Man if I had a nickel every time someone left TC "for real this time you guys, I'm totes McGoats serious," I wouldn't have to financially extort my cult members for dues.

[Dark Midnight]

That is fine, who really cares anyway. I just realized something amazing and with that I will leave you all (and this forum for good) and will venture forth into the "real" world where bullies do not hide behind their screens. Where bullies have to actually face the ones they bully. So any staff are more than welcome to completely delete my account if they see fit. And I will leave you all with the idea that you have won a great epic battle. Eradicated a nasty pest. Slain a beast of mythical proportions. Or what stories you one day wish to tell your grandchildren.

 
If you had read the rules and the T&C's properly when you joined, you would notice that accounts are not deleted under any circumstances.

Also, you leaving does not equate to the finale of an epic anything. And, by the time I have grandchildren, I probably won't even remember that you existed. You are just not that important in my life. Sorry for bursting that bubble. All you have been is a guy who came here and upset a lot of people. But when you are gone from here, the group of friends that comprises of most of TC will still be here together, sharing our lives, our hopes and dreams, our problems and our joys. You will have changed nothing in that regard.

[yewberry]

And I will leave you all with the idea that you have won a great epic battle. Eradicated a nasty pest. Slain a beast of mythical proportions. Or what stories you one day wish to tell your grandchildren.

Yeah.  Don't let the door hit ya and all that...

Brina

[yewberry]

I wouldn't have to financially extort my cult members for dues.

 
Check's in the mail, by the way.

Brina

[Sage]

Check's in the mail, by the way.

Brina

You're in luck! I still have an opening for Grand High Muckity Muck. The position comes with a nice hat and excellent dental insurance.

[Jack]

That's very useful - thanks for sharing! I've heard people talking about combining Ogham feda for a similar effect. I have terrible trouble with meditation and other helpful-for-healing stuff when I'm not feeling well, but something more active like this is a possibility.

I would expect that would work the same way, yes, though I've never worked with Ogham.

I need something to focus on when I meditate or I basically can't do it, so chanting and walking meditation are my go to suggestions. Walking meditation isn't really a good suggestion for this thread though... XD

[stephyjh]

You're in luck! I still have an opening for Grand High Muckity Muck. The position comes with a nice hat and excellent dental insurance.

But *I* wanted the shiny hat!

[Sophia C]

I would expect that would work the same way, yes, though I've never worked with Ogham.

I need something to focus on when I meditate or I basically can't do it, so chanting and walking meditation are my go to suggestions. Walking meditation isn't really a good suggestion for this thread though... XD

 
I go on meditation walks in my wheelchair (and now my scooter)! ...I just have to be a little bit careful not to drive into anyone.

[Jack]

I go on meditation walks in my wheelchair (and now my scooter)! ...I just have to be a little bit careful not to drive into anyone.

That's awesome! I just thought it seemed like an awkward suggestion to someone with a knee injury. XD Though maybe not, depending on where you are in recovery?

I'm gonna stop helping now. ;P

[TheHumanAxiom]

Yes and I think we shared some great words yesterday. I think you had a great approach. I think it is fine that people tell when they are hurt, I just don't see the need to attack people and blame them for all sort of things (that never happened). For once it is not my fault that this has worked for me and not them, so what is the point in blaming me for finally having success with the process I shared?

Okay, I really really want you to understand, because I do believe it is possible. So I'm going to reply in the hope that you read this. Even if it doesn't fix the situation here, I hope it will help you in the future.

1) People told you they were hurt so that you would know how not to hurt people in the future. (That is, the advice you gave not only hurt people here, but could hurt people in the future. That's a big part of the deal.) They're not blaming you that it hasn't worked for them in the past. Again, I can't speak for them, but I think all they really wanted was (a) "Oops, I didn't realize. I'll be sure and include that caution when I give that advice in the future" and (b) "I'm sorry that I triggered some pain for some of you guys; I care about you and I don't want to hurt people."

I hear you saying "I get it, I get it, back off!!" but that is a bit different from either (a) or (b). It isn't clear yet if you are sorry (or just upset that people are "attacking" you), and it isn't clear if you understand the problem well enough to not repeat it.


2) This is the really difficult lesson that a LOT of people struggle with: You're getting defensive and upset because people are angry with you. I think that is very easy to do. But remember the analogy of stubbing your toe? I don't know about you, but when I accidentally hit my toe on a chair, I get REALLY MAD at the chair. Does that make sense? No, of course not! It isn't the chair's FAULT, but I got angry because my toe was hurting.

Likewise, people here are getting angry because you hurt their feelings. You are right - sometimes survival in life is about choosing your attitude. Sometimes that is possible, like if a random person tells you that your hair looks stupid. You can decide not to let them hurt your feelings.

But when society tells you EVERY SINGLE DAY that your hair is stupid, it is a lot harder to just "choose not to be hurt." If everyone you knew said "Oh, Fionnbarr, you're interested in paganism? You must be a devil worshipper!! Stay away from my child!!" after a while you would not be able to choose to stay calm. You would probably get upset and angry, understandably so. That is what people are dealing with here. Society says, "It is not okay to have a different ability level (e.g., an injured knee, a chronic illness, fatigue, etc)." If the OP thought that visualizing really hard would definitely cure their knee (when some energy work may help, but it may not be enough), they could get stuck in that frame of mind. They could get stuck thinking that they have to do anything and everything to heal their knee. What if it turned out that wasn't enough, and their knee had some persistent issues as a result of this injury? That advice you gave could be a part of what gets in the way of them moving forward and still living a wonderful life with a hurt knee.

I am glad that you are responding to my explanations. But I want you to understand that my approach is not better or worse than the others' here. I wasn't personally hurt by what you said, because I haven't had those same experiences. I have the luxury of not being personally upset, and that gives me some energy to spare in trying to patiently explain this to you. In part because I can imagine myself making a clumsy mistake, and I would want someone to be patient with me even if I flailed around for a while.

But that doesn't mean the people here who got upset are doing something wrong. If someone hits you in the face, you can't choose not to get bruised, or not to bleed. Being angry doesn't mean you're wrong. If I insulted someone you cared about, you wouldn't have to be patient with me. You could tell me to stick it up my butt and still be absolutely right that whatever bad thing I said was wrong. People here are mad and they're showing it. That doesn't mean they are wrong. It also doesn't mean that you don't have to look at what you said and take some responsibility for it.

This board fights on these issues because in part, it works to create a safe space for people who are not a member of various privileged majority groups (e.g., white, heterosexual, cisgender, christian, traditionally abled and shaped). Just like it is hurtful when people assume that pagans are devil-worshippers, there are a lot of stereotypes out there that systematically hurt a lot of different groups. This is a space where members work to ensure that those stereotypes have as little influence as possible, so that it can be a safe place for everyone.

I hope that helps.

[RandallS]

Then just admit if you are a bully.

The Cauldron is a debate and discussion board. People daring to disagree with you does not make them a "bully". It means they disagree with you and are exercising the same right to state their opinion that you are to state your opinion.