Backlash and Moral Ambiguity

[Wren Stewart]

I'm going to start by saying that my impulse control is shaky at best, so if I seem to be acting unreasonable, please tell me. If I'm letting people see shaky reasoning on my part, I don't know that it's shaky.

I'm in a relationship with someone who hasn't had the best upbringing in the world- I don't say this about many people, but from a logical standpoint, Kitty simply should not be alive. They have jumped off of multiple bridges, been revived from death, been cruelly treated to points that I cannot imagine. Most of this has been at the hands of their mother, who is the most horrid piece of semi-human scum to ever walk this earth. They have a new bruise every day, a new story to follow it. She has convinced them that they do not deserve to eat, to be happy, or to be helped.

If I call the police, their family will find out- they have cameras everywhere around their house and they have a tendency to be weapon-happy. They will literally kill Kitty.

If anyone hurts my Kitty, I will certainly not be happy with them, but this is so far beyond what I can morally sit back and watch. I try my hardest to clean up the damage their parents cause, but this... this is getting excessive. I cannot do this.

I feel very strongly that she needs to pay.

I want to curse her until she's up to her knees in metaphorical hell, but I need to know if her status as a horrible, abusive person would change the amount of repercussions I would deal with, so I have a better idea of how far I can go without completely ruining my life, and Kitty's life as well.

[RandallS]

If I call the police, their family will find out- they have cameras everywhere around their house and they have a tendency to be weapon-happy. They will literally kill Kitty.

Get someone else to call the police then. Surely you can't be the only person who has noticed this problem.

I want to curse her until she's up to her knees in metaphorical hell....

Are you really able to effectively do this?  I ask because people who are worried by the amount of moral repercussions they might suffer for cursing someone are seldom able to effectively curse someone. If you don't think you curses would really be able to solve the problem, they doing so would not really help the situation.

[Faemon]

If I call the police, their family will find out- they have cameras everywhere around their house and they have a tendency to be weapon-happy. They will literally kill Kitty.

I'm guessing that either or both of you are underage, if you can't have Kitty stay with you or at some charity shelter, so as I understand it, the risk is that you call the police and the police don't do anything but make Kitty's family angry, and also compel them to continue living with their family, which is bound to be fatal if the family is Displeased. Is that correct?

I want to curse her until she's up to her knees in metaphorical hell, but I need to know if her status as a horrible, abusive person would change the amount of repercussions I would deal with, so I have a better idea of how far I can go without completely ruining my life, and Kitty's life as well.

If magic could be measured that way, it wouldn't be mysticism but science. I found myself in a situation similar to this, and the spell took three years to take effect and came with mundane repercussions that I could only handle out of pure luck.

If she's survived so far, then her family might have some idea at least that they can't "get away" with murder (although they have been getting away with everything that is almost that), and even if Kitty themselves doesn't believe that they deserve help, you're there to help.

[Laveth]

I want to curse her until she's up to her knees in metaphorical hell, but I need to know if her status as a horrible, abusive person would change the amount of repercussions I would deal with, so I have a better idea of how far I can go without completely ruining my life, and Kitty's life as well.

My opinion is that when that kind of negativity comes back around, it is much more efficiently meted out by higher forces than we as humans are capable of. Partially became of ability, and partially because people are flawed and never have the entire picture of a situation or all its facets (the unseen energies have a way of knowing where to hit that causes the most accurate kind of feedback in both concept and severity). But this is only what I've witnessed, so I can't speak for anyone else.

If you are both underage, and the situation really is that severe, I would strongly recommend that your friend contact an authority figure directly. Either the police, or a crisis hotline. There's no real good way to go about these things without a lot of turmoil and hurt, but if someone's life is in the balance it's really something to be considered.

[Jabberwocky]

Are you really able to effectively do this?  I ask because people who are worried by the amount of moral repercussions they might suffer for cursing someone are seldom able to effectively curse someone. If you don't think you curses would really be able to solve the problem, they doing so would not really help the situation.

Yeah, I'd agree with that.  It doesn't sound like you're really in a position to be cursing effectively anyway.  (Cursing out of desperation is rarely successful in my view).

A few more points.

Let's say, theoretically, that we're wrong and you can effectively curse her family in this situation.  What is it going to achieve?  They may deserve it, but from what you've said about the situation, it's not actually going to help the bigger picture.  It doesn't get Kitty out of the situation or help protect her.

Does Kitty know what you're thinking of doing?  I'd advise against doing so without her knowledge and at least passive agreement.  For the same reason I'd generally not recommend kicking the fuck out of someone on someone else's behalf without their agreement.

[Iset]

I know cursing such nasty people seems like a satisfying thing to do, but I think right now she needs a) immediate help, magic might not be fast enough b) she needs someone to protect her. If you curse her family, then sure they'll have a hard time, but what's to stop them from abusing her in the meanwhile? I think you need a shield spell for your friend first. Then think about a bind breaking spell that will start to free her from their emotional clutches. This way you're achieving help for your friend in a more direct way.

[SunflowerP]

 

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[Iset]

Sorry! I'm using an app from my phone, I forgot it doesn't quote by default

[HeartShadow]

Sorry! I'm using an app from my phone, I forgot it doesn't quote by default

 

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[Wren Stewart]

I think you need a shield spell for your friend first. Then think about a bind breaking spell that will start to free her from their emotional clutches. This way you're achieving help for your friend in a more direct way.

 
Thank you. I do tend to dive into situations without thinking, so I apologise if I seem like a bad person. I am a bit too emotionally attached to this situation.
On the other hand, I'm currently working on a very strong shield- I've done a few already but none were as effective as I'd like (and the strongest one backfired horribly). I've tried working with Kitty's trauma, tried keeping their problems from catching up too quickly, tried unbinding them from certain things... I need the help of someone more powerful than me.
I love them, but I'm fairly bad at certain types of magick. Unfortunately, those are the ones I need.

How would you advise that I make my shields better?

[Iset]

Thank you. I do tend to dive into situations without thinking, so I apologise if I seem like a bad person. I am a bit too emotionally attached to this situation.
On the other hand, I'm currently working on a very strong shield- I've done a few already but none were as effective as I'd like (and the strongest one backfired horribly). I've tried working with Kitty's trauma, tried keeping their problems from catching up too quickly, tried unbinding them from certain things... I need the help of someone more powerful than me.
I love them, but I'm fairly bad at certain types of magick. Unfortunately, those are the ones I need.

How would you advise that I make my shields better?

You don't sound like a bad person at all. I would be just as frustrated in the same situation. I'm wondering if the shields you're trying are having issues because she's still very bound to her family. Maybe try an unbinding first. If she can't shut the bad energy out of her mind she might be letting it in right past your shield. I find in these situations people almost duplicate their abuser in their own mind and continue the abuse from within because the abuser has convinced them they deserve it. So she's being attacked two fold, inside and out.

I hope that makes sense.

[Myst Moonlight]

I'm going to start by saying that my impulse control is shaky at best, so if I seem to be acting unreasonable, please tell me. If I'm letting people see shaky reasoning on my part, I don't know that it's shaky.

I'm in a relationship with someone who hasn't had the best upbringing in the world- I don't say this about many people, but from a logical standpoint, Kitty simply should not be alive. They have jumped off of multiple bridges, been revived from death, been cruelly treated to points that I cannot imagine. Most of this has been at the hands of their mother, who is the most horrid piece of semi-human scum to ever walk this earth. They have a new bruise every day, a new story to follow it. She has convinced them that they do not deserve to eat, to be happy, or to be helped.

If I call the police, their family will find out- they have cameras everywhere around their house and they have a tendency to be weapon-happy. They will literally kill Kitty.

If anyone hurts my Kitty, I will certainly not be happy with them, but this is so far beyond what I can morally sit back and watch. I try my hardest to clean up the damage their parents cause, but this... this is getting excessive. I cannot do this.

I feel very strongly that she needs to pay.

I want to curse her until she's up to her knees in metaphorical hell, but I need to know if her status as a horrible, abusive person would change the amount of repercussions I would deal with, so I have a better idea of how far I can go without completely ruining my life, and Kitty's life as well.

 
how about some kind of binding spell to stop the abuse, that would be better than a curse. You could also cast a spell to make the mother get caught. You could even do something to build your friends self respect.