Oh Dear

[BunnyMaz]

So, the last couple of years have been kind of a massive mess for me.  in late 2009 my mental health issues took a turn for the worse, I spent 2010 reeling from one ineffective-and-damaging medication to the next, lost my job in early 2011 and am only just starting to feel mentally ready to actually start working on a proper healing process.  

I've gradually been returning to normal and returning to the Pagan spaces I'd ignored in that time.  And today, just now, I realised that I have no idea where my pendulum is.  

I know it's only a "thing" and "things" are unimportant, but I loved my pendulum.  It wasn't anything fancy - a plain brass weight on a brass-coloured chain, in a little bag that may once have been velvet before constant touching of it rubbed it down to a shiny surface.  I used to keep it on me all the time - even if I might not use it for months, it'd always be in my jeans pocket, or in a safe pocket in my bag, or on my bedside table.  It was never away from me.  And I've just realised that not only do I have no idea where it is, I have no idea when I last saw it or at what point I stopped carrying it with me.

I know it probably went missing at some point during the years that passed where I didn't have the mental energy to even think about my faith or my path, but that isn't much of a guideline!

I'm... more upset than I probably have any right to be.

[Sage]

I'm... more upset than I probably have any right to be.

 
It sounds like it really meant a lot to you, and it's completely okay to be upset about that. *hugs* I've had similar things happen to me, losing something important that I don't see very often, and now I have no idea where it is.

[mlr52]

I've gradually been returning to normal and returning to the Pagan spaces I'd ignored in that time.  And today, just now, I realised that I have no idea where my pendulum is.  

Consider your pendulum may feel you were better off without it temporarily.  When if feels you need it, it will cause you to find it or something else.

My Tarot Cards play hide and seek with me all the time.  I notice they disappear when using them would be a crutch, and reappear when they want to tell me something.

I'm... more upset than I probably have any right to be.

YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE UPSET!  The question is will you put those feelings to good use (I am always amazed, at how much I can get done, when I am upset or angry.)

[BunnyMaz]

.

 
Thanks, guys.  I feel a bit better about it, but it was a bit of a shock to the system to realise I'd lost it, and a second shock when I realised how long I've been without my pendulum without realising!