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Author Topic: Divinatory ethics  (Read 1745 times)

Stardancer

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Divinatory ethics
« on: October 20, 2011, 09:13:56 am »
I had a client who wanted me to check out her lovelife (fine) and what her husband was doing while travelling (ummm). I just put in a single card for the latter, instead embellishing on the other sides of it - communication, working as a couple, (8 Wands, 8 Pentacles) etc.
She wanted to know more specifics, and I sent her an email trying to explain as gently as possible that unless she'd asked his permission, I didn't want to pry into a third party. I could instead lay out cards more about her position and how to tackle things.

I haven't had a response (yet), but I'd like to hear your thoughts. What are you willing to divine (if you can), where do you set your borders?
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celestialwolf

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Re: Divinatory ethics
« Reply #1 on: October 20, 2011, 10:05:04 am »
Quote from: Stardancer;26583
I had a client who wanted me to check out her lovelife (fine) and what her husband was doing while travelling (ummm). I just put in a single card for the latter, instead embellishing on the other sides of it - communication, working as a couple, (8 Wands, 8 Pentacles) etc.
She wanted to know more specifics, and I sent her an email trying to explain as gently as possible that unless she'd asked his permission, I didn't want to pry into a third party. I could instead lay out cards more about her position and how to tackle things.

I haven't had a response (yet), but I'd like to hear your thoughts. What are you willing to divine (if you can), where do you set your borders?

 
You did the right thing. Her reading should only be about her. If she wants to know what he's doing, she should ask him. If she doesn't' trust him, it's not your place to reveal his actions be them good or bad. I only do a reading on/for the person requesting it.

Tana

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Re: Divinatory ethics
« Reply #2 on: October 20, 2011, 11:24:38 am »
Quote from: Stardancer;26583



Sadly, there are readers who spy on a third party without a problem.
I think this is giving folks ideas. :rolleye::

But more readers than not (what I can tell) follow a kind of code of honour. 'Don't tell about illnesses - that's the doctor's job' - 'Don't tell about a death you see - you could be wrong' - 'Don't spy on a third party.' - 'Don't offer too fast a follow up reading - aka prevent your customer from becoming addicted to readings.'

This is about what I follow too. Tho' under four eyes, I might point out to someone, that there is maybe this or that trouble healthwise and that they should take care of it. That point is more a legal problem, one could get in serious trouble giving diagnosis without being a medical professional.
\'You had to repay, good or bad. There was more than one type of obligation.
That’s what people never really understood.….Things had to balance.
You couldn’t set out to be a good witch or a bad witch. It never worked out for long.
All you could try to be was a witch, as hard as you could.\'
Terry Pratchett \'Lords and Ladies\'

Confuzzled and proud. :p

monsnoleedra

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Re: Divinatory ethics
« Reply #3 on: October 20, 2011, 12:37:26 pm »
Quote from: Stardancer;26583
I had a client who wanted me to check out her lovelife (fine) and what her husband was doing while travelling (ummm). I just put in a single card for the latter, instead embellishing on the other sides of it - communication, working as a couple, (8 Wands, 8 Pentacles) etc.
She wanted to know more specifics, and I sent her an email trying to explain as gently as possible that unless she'd asked his permission, I didn't want to pry into a third party. I could instead lay out cards more about her position and how to tackle things.

I haven't had a response (yet), but I'd like to hear your thoughts. What are you willing to divine (if you can), where do you set your borders?


Perhaps just me and being a bit old fassion but if you do a reading on the wife to check her lovelife you can not but cross over into the things affecting it.  Thus the cards, bones or what ever your using would indicate a problem and quite possibly where it lies.
The two pathways being intertwined to such a degree that a love reading would reveal both sides and what is transpiring.

If nothing else it shows up as a warning that things may be occuring that is an endangerment to her life through his actions.

But that is why I somewhat despise distance or email readings.  You do not know just what it is that is being asked nor do you have the divination tool aligned to just the right question.  Most times the questions being so vague that what shows up in the tool is more about the reader than the one beign read for.

Of course this is my opinion so others may differ.

Though I do agree that there needs to be a sense of ethics and boundaries a reader will not cross.  For me personaly its identifying a medical issue with specifics or what appears to be a potential catastrophic event that could go either way.  Usually i'll simply advise them to go see a doctor or condier potential fallouts for given situations.

Marilyn/Absentminded

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Re: Divinatory ethics
« Reply #4 on: October 20, 2011, 12:37:51 pm »
Quote from: Tana;26603
Sadly, there are readers who spy on a third party without a problem.


I don't actually refuse to read any question.  I do warn that the answer is likely to be gibberish or misleading or outright false depending on whether it's actually the querent's business or not.  I also have a ghost card in every deck, a clear sign that there will be no answer to a particular question.

For medical questions, I don't have the terminology to give a diagnosis, which is fine with me.  I can advise a visit to a doctor and pinpoint an area of the body or a recent or future injury.  I also will tell if a death is in the cards, or a divorce, but with appropriate caveats, at least in the latter case, that anything under the clients control is changeable - the cards just predict the future if no action is taken.

I don't worry about invasion of privacy.  Most people have a basic level of shielding that won't let somebody else read them if they don't, on some level, want it.  I have found that parents can only get answers about their children up to a certain age, and that most intrusive questions about a partner come back with a recommendation to, and sometimes advice on how to, bring it up with the person involved.

I always give a gibberish warning if things are weird, and if all I am getting is fruit loops I tell the client to either choose a different approach or accept their money back and leave.  I stress the difference between mutable and immutable futures, and while I generally give definite answers if at all possible  (I hate the vague 'well, it could be this, but if that doesn't please you then it could be the exact opposite - decide for yourself and pay me anyway' that so many readers resort to because they are afraid to put their skills where their mouth is) I will explain when the cards themselves are wishy-washy.

Clients are individuals, with individual needs; about the only thing I am consistent about is, as Tana mentions, not allowing readings too close together.  If there is a rapidly unfolding situation and my advice is proving useful I will make an exception, but most of the time I insist on three months between sessions.  Anyone who ignore my rule and insists on more frequent readings that I do not want to give finds that my prices have mysteriously gone up between one day and the next.  Only the most drama prone tend to keep paying when they know I don't want to do it and am overcharging them on purpose, and I figure that's legitimate annoyance-money.

I've made my living reading cards and, while I do not con or mislead my clients I do not consider myself mother-teacher-priestess-nurse to my clients.  I figure it is a mark of respect to be myself and let them make up their minds whether to use my services or not.  Soft options and candy coating are not usually in my repertoire.  I do admit, however, that sometimes the cards are so depressing or disappointing that I do my best to stress the likelihood of being wrong, or punch up any positives that actually appear in the spread.  I usually feel bad later, but it is very hard to look someone you like in the eye (or on the page) and dash their hopes.  I'm wrong often enough to hope I am then too.

Absent
I smile when I\'m angry.  I cheat and I lie
I do what I have to do to get by
But I know what is wrong, and I know what is right
And I die for the truth in my secret life

   In My Secret Life, L. Cohen

Tana

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Re: Divinatory ethics
« Reply #5 on: October 20, 2011, 01:04:30 pm »
Quote from: Marilyn/Absentminded;26613
I don't actually refuse to read any question.  I do warn that the answer is likely to be gibberish or misleading or outright false depending on whether it's actually the querent's business or not.  I also have a ghost card in every deck, a clear sign that there will be no answer to a particular question

 
Which is a good take on it and ok with me.
I meant esp. the sort of readers who advertise with reading into third parties.
(Note to self: don't post in a hurry and elaborate more.)

What you mention concerning children, became very clear to me using Lenormand.
The child only appears in the reading as 'The Child' till a certain age, which is really interesting. After that there are other cards. 'The Flowers' for a daughter f.ex.
\'You had to repay, good or bad. There was more than one type of obligation.
That’s what people never really understood.….Things had to balance.
You couldn’t set out to be a good witch or a bad witch. It never worked out for long.
All you could try to be was a witch, as hard as you could.\'
Terry Pratchett \'Lords and Ladies\'

Confuzzled and proud. :p

SatSekhem

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Re: Divinatory ethics
« Reply #6 on: October 20, 2011, 01:51:46 pm »
Quote from: Marilyn/Absentminded;26613
I don't actually refuse to read any question.  I do warn that the answer is likely to be gibberish or misleading or outright false depending on whether it's actually the querent's business or not.  I also have a ghost card in every deck, a clear sign that there will be no answer to a particular question.

 
Can you explain this ghost card thing, please?
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Marilyn/Absentminded

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Re: Divinatory ethics
« Reply #7 on: October 20, 2011, 05:20:20 pm »
Quote from: SatSekhem;26639
Can you explain this ghost card thing, please?


I wrote a few blog posts on the old board about tarot.  This one:

http://www.ecauldron.net/forum/index.php?action=viewblog;u=23;id=107

is about special cards.  Ghost is covered in the second section.

It's short enough that I could probably just cut and paste it into a post here, but I am lazy and linking is marginally easier that c/p-ing.

Absent
I smile when I\'m angry.  I cheat and I lie
I do what I have to do to get by
But I know what is wrong, and I know what is right
And I die for the truth in my secret life

   In My Secret Life, L. Cohen

SatSekhem

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Re: Divinatory ethics
« Reply #8 on: October 22, 2011, 12:18:52 pm »
Quote from: Marilyn/Absentminded;26666
I wrote a few blog posts on the old board about tarot.  This one:

http://www.ecauldron.net/forum/index.php?action=viewblog;u=23;id=107

is about special cards.  Ghost is covered in the second section.

It's short enough that I could probably just cut and paste it into a post here, but I am lazy and linking is marginally easier that c/p-ing.

Absent

 
Thanks.
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