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Author Topic: Why do people feel the need to shove their beliefs down your throat?  (Read 1346 times)

Elyria

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I've been noticing this more and more throughout the years on different social forums, and it's finally struck a nerve with me.

It doesn't matter what the forum or the topic is, what is said, how nicely or rudely it is said, there is always someone out there telling someone else that their way is wrong.

I go to a writing forum and a member posts their writing, someone else is there to say that the writing is too detailed. Well who says its too detailed? What makes YOU the ultimate critic? Who's to say that someone out there doesn't LIKE how detailed it is?

And when someone else asks for helping finding anything at all (their writing style, their meditation style, their god or goddess, their totem), there is always someone there to question their motives. Well, who are you? Why do I have to tell YOU anything? What does it matter to you why I want it? Shouldn't it be enough to just answer the question?

And why do people all of the sudden think that THEIR way is the ONLY way? If I didn't ask for your opinion, why are you giving it? I asked how to do something, I don't need the history behind the word that YOU claim I used incorrectly. YOU may believe that myth but it doesn't mean that I have to. And you may think that my Goddess is cruel and unjust, but it doesn't make it true. And I may like to set up my altar that way, but it doesn't mean it's wrong. And just because I disagree with you, doesn't mean that I don't have respect or that I have emotional problems.

And that's another thing. When did everyone become a shrink? They think that because they know where that is and what this means that they're suddenly able to make logical suggestions on how I should live MY life (my meaning all people, not just me in particular). If I want your advice, I'll ask for it. If I post a sample of my writing or a snippet of my beliefs, don't try to psychoanalyze me. I don't NEED help on how to run my own life. And if I did, I sure as heck wouldn't be on a forum looking for it, I'd be in an office talking to a professional.

I don't know if these people think they are actually in the right (I hope they don't, otherwise this is a way more sad and twisted world than I thought) or if they get some kick out of trying to control people or if they are genuinely trying to help. But they really need to take a step back and realize that they are not God, thus do not have any right to play the role.


Rant over.


-Elyria

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Re: Why do people feel the need to shove their beliefs down your throat?
« Reply #1 on: July 26, 2013, 10:43:14 pm »
Quote from: Elyria;116915
It doesn't matter what the forum or the topic is, what is said, how nicely or rudely it is said, there is always someone out there telling someone else that their way is wrong.


Sometimes people are wrong.

Quote from: Elyria;116915

I go to a writing forum and a member posts their writing, someone else is there to say that the writing is too detailed. Well who says its too detailed? What makes YOU the ultimate critic? Who's to say that someone out there doesn't LIKE how detailed it is?

 
Often writing forums have places to ask for critique. If people are posting their writing in the critique forums, it's not a huge surprise that people will, you know, critique it.

Quote from: Elyria;116915
And when someone else asks for helping finding anything at all (their writing style, their meditation style, their god or goddess, their totem), there is always someone there to question their motives. Well, who are you? Why do I have to tell YOU anything? What does it matter to you why I want it? Shouldn't it be enough to just answer the question?


Fora are often regarded as online homes by the longtime members. If someone comes into my home and demands I give them knowledge, I'm under no obligation to. If anything, they're under obligation to show me why I should give them that knowledge.

Not to mention, often having the full picture will help people give someone a better answer.

Quote from: Elyria;116915
And why do people all of the sudden think that THEIR way is the ONLY way? If I didn't ask for your opinion, why are you giving it?


Because fora are places for people to talk and share opinions and ideas, and if you post in a public forum it's assumed you're asking for other people's opinions?

Quote from: Elyria;116915
I asked how to do something, I don't need the history behind the word that YOU claim I used incorrectly.


Words mean things. It helps communication if we're all on the same page, linguistically. If you're using a word differently from its actual meaning, you need to state that every time you use it -- or people will continue to correct your usage.

Quote from: Elyria;116915
YOU may believe that myth but it doesn't mean that I have to.


Ok. I'm not really sure what this has to do with word usage, but ok.

Quote from: Elyria;116915
And you may think that my Goddess is cruel and unjust, but it doesn't make it true. And I may like to set up my altar that way, but it doesn't mean it's wrong. And just because I disagree with you, doesn't mean that I don't have respect or that I have emotional problems.


Again, ok. I don't know what this has to do with word usage.

Quote from: Elyria;116915
And that's another thing. When did everyone become a shrink? They think that because they know where that is and what this means that they're suddenly able to make logical suggestions on how I should live MY life (my meaning all people, not just me in particular). If I want your advice, I'll ask for it. If I post a sample of my writing or a snippet of my beliefs, don't try to psychoanalyze me. I don't NEED help on how to run my own life. And if I did, I sure as heck wouldn't be on a forum looking for it, I'd be in an office talking to a professional.


You'd be surprised how many folks do look for that on fora.

And again, if you're posting on a forum it's assumed you're joining in a conversation. Sometimes that means people will give you advice, depending on the topic. That's what happens in conversations. Fora are not personal blogs where you can say whatever you like and ban commenters who say things you don't want to hear. They're places where many people come together to talk, which means sometimes people will give advice or opinions or ask if you've tried therapy.

Quote from: Elyria;116915
I don't know if these people think they are actually in the right (I hope they don't, otherwise this is a way more sad and twisted world than I thought) or if they get some kick out of trying to control people or if they are genuinely trying to help. But they really need to take a step back and realize that they are not God, thus do not have any right to play the role.


No, quite often the things you complain about are just functions of how fora work, and especially when original posters are not clear about what they're looking for. Vague posts will get questions, asking for clarification.

It's not playing god, it's conversation.
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RandallS

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Re: Why do people feel the need to shove their beliefs down your throat?
« Reply #2 on: July 27, 2013, 08:33:13 am »
Quote from: Elyria;116915
I've been noticing this more and more throughout the years on different social forums, and it's finally struck a nerve with me.

Pretty much what Morag said. I think you want forums to be something they really aren't. They are just conversations. Conversations that happen without body language and all the other things that smooth them over face-to-face.
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sailor

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Re: Why do people feel the need to shove their beliefs down your throat?
« Reply #3 on: July 27, 2013, 01:08:36 pm »
Quote from: RandallS;117013
Pretty much what Morag said. I think you want forums to be something they really aren't. They are just conversations. Conversations that happen without body language and all the other things that smooth them over face-to-face.

 
Also agree with Morag.

One extra point, after dealing with a wannebe writer for 4 years, I ask even harder questions.  There is a huge difference between trying to explain basic science like what gravity is to a 30 year old with effectively a 5th grade education instead of a 16 year old who hasn't gotten to physics yet.

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