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Author Topic: Other: What does it mean to feel like a man or a woman?  (Read 1000 times)

EclecticWheel

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What does it mean to feel like a man or a woman?
« on: March 31, 2019, 02:41:38 pm »
This is a topic I plan on discussing with a few of my friends off the web who happen to be trans, but I know there are a number of gender fluid/gender queer identifying people on these forums, so I thought it might be an interesting topic to discuss, and I have some personal experiences myself that I would like to explore.

For the record I consider myself to be trans friendly and support the choices people discern they need to make to flourish and be well whatever that entails about choice of clothing, hormone therapy, surgery, or what have you, and I have held these views since I first learned about trans issues in my teenage years.

I also support other gender variations, and I am excited about the society emerging that is pushing boundaries such that people are comfortable identifying and living outside of the strict gender binary.

Part of what I want to explore is what it means to feel like a man or a woman.  Is there something it feels like to be a man or a woman?  I get confused about this because I only know what I feel like, and I'm not sure if there is a distinctive way to feel like a man.

Does it merely mean to feel comfortable in roles and clothing usually associated with a man or a woman?  Or perhaps there is something it is like to feel like a man or woman, and those who are not comfortable in their bodies or roles assigned by societies are intuiting this on some level and have a need to make certain decisions in order to flourish psychologically and spiritually.

These are all honest questions, and I am open to all perspectives and insights on this matter.  It may be possible that different brain qualities and hormonal components contribute to certain mental states that do tend to align with male or female and that some people therefore feel uncomfortable with the gender and roles society assigned.  What do you think?

On a more personal level it may be that I'm unsure what it feels like to be a man or a woman because I don't really feel like either one if there is such a distinctive state.  That's just my intuition on the matter since I'm stabbing in the dark at something I don't claim to understand.

I seem to relate easily in conversation and in perspectives to both men and women.  So I just take on whatever perspectives are needed through empathy depending on whom I'm conversing with.  And what I've noticed about myself is that other people's perspectives on me vary.  Some people perceive me as very feminine, while others see me as masculine, and I'm not sure what they mean.

I dress and physically appear very masculine, and I'm comfortable with that.  I'm also highly sensitive, and I'm comfortable with that, too, though in my southern culture of origin in North America I was taught by my family that this was a very bad characteristic for me to have.

At different times in my life I've been perceived different ways, too.  My family saw me as very feminine as a boy, and now they perceive me as masculine as an adult man.  Sometimes one person will ascribe different gender characterizations to me at different times.  And one person I know simply claims that I am androgynous in personality if not in appearance, and that's how I'd say I feel if I had to take a guess.

So it may be that part of my perplexity in understanding what it is like to feel like a man or a woman is that I don't feel like either one.

As I've mentioned in other places in the forum I am also a multiple meaning that I experience different aspects of my personality as actual persons, and I've noticed that of the four main ones I experience two are female, and two are male, so there is that interesting angle to the whole matter as well, and one of them is particularly feminine (the one associated with speech and emotions among other domains) and one is particularly masculine (associated with sexuality, particularly homosexuality, and other domains).

Since I experience them often through emotions and intuition as well as in other ways that might be my key to what it feels like to be masculine or feminine, but this is a thought that his only now struck me, and I will have to explore it further.

If it sheds light on matters I am also gay, although I am not so sure this is connected since gay people like others are very diverse in gender identification and expression.

For the purposes of this discussion I'm interested in any and all aspects of gender identification and expression that anyone should wish to discuss should they feel inclined to do so.  Thanks for letting me get out my thoughts and feelings.  I love this forum.  :)
« Last Edit: May 07, 2019, 03:01:07 pm by RandallS »
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arete

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Re: What does it mean to feel like a man or a woman?
« Reply #1 on: March 31, 2019, 04:58:35 pm »
This is a topic I plan on discussing with a few of my friends off the web who happen to be trans, but I know there are a number of gender fluid/gender queer identifying people on these forums, so I thought it might be an interesting topic to discuss, and I have some personal experiences myself that I would like to explore.

For the record I consider myself to be trans friendly and support the choices people discern they need to make to flourish and be well whatever that entails about choice of clothing, hormone therapy, surgery, or what have you, and I have held these views since I first learned about trans issues in my teenage years.

I also support other gender variations, and I am excited about the society emerging that is pushing boundaries such that people are comfortable identifying and living outside of the strict gender binary.

Part of what I want to explore is what it means to feel like a man or a woman.  Is there something it feels like to be a man or a woman?  I get confused about this because I only know what I feel like, and I'm not sure if there is a distinctive way to feel like a man.

Does it merely mean to feel comfortable in roles and clothing usually associated with a man or a woman?  Or perhaps there is something it is like to feel like a man or woman, and those who are not comfortable in their bodies or roles assigned by societies are intuiting this on some level and have a need to make certain decisions in order to flourish psychologically and spiritually.

These are all honest questions, and I am open to all perspectives and insights on this matter.  It may be possible that different brain qualities and hormonal components contribute to certain mental states that do tend to align with male or female and that some people therefore feel uncomfortable with the gender and roles society assigned.  What do you think?

On a more personal level it may be that I'm unsure what it feels like to be a man or a woman because I don't really feel like either one if there is such a distinctive state.  That's just my intuition on the matter since I'm stabbing in the dark at something I don't claim to understand.

I seem to relate easily in conversation and in perspectives to both men and women.  So I just take on whatever perspectives are needed through empathy depending on whom I'm conversing with.  And what I've noticed about myself is that other people's perspectives on me vary.  Some people perceive me as very feminine, while others see me as masculine, and I'm not sure what they mean.

I dress and physically appear very masculine, and I'm comfortable with that.  I'm also highly sensitive, and I'm comfortable with that, too, though in my southern culture of origin in North America I was taught by my family that this was a very bad characteristic for me to have.

At different times in my life I've been perceived different ways, too.  My family saw me as very feminine as a boy, and now they perceive me as masculine as an adult man.  Sometimes one person will ascribe different gender characterizations to me at different times.  And one person I know simply claims that I am androgynous in personality if not in appearance, and that's how I'd say I feel if I had to take a guess.

So it may be that part of my perplexity in understanding what it is like to feel like a man or a woman is that I don't feel like either one.

As I've mentioned in other places in the forum I am also a multiple meaning that I experience different aspects of my personality as actual persons, and I've noticed that of the four main ones I experience two are female, and two are male, so there is that interesting angle to the whole matter as well, and one of them is particularly feminine (the one associated with speech and emotions among other domains) and one is particularly masculine (associated with sexuality, particularly homosexuality, and other domains).

Since I experience them often through emotions and intuition as well as in other ways that might be my key to what it feels like to be masculine or feminine, but this is a thought that his only now struck me, and I will have to explore it further.

If it sheds light on matters I am also gay, although I am not so sure this is connected since gay people like others are very diverse in gender identification and expression.

For the purposes of this discussion I'm interested in any and all aspects of gender identification and expression that anyone should wish to discuss should they feel inclined to do so.  Thanks for letting me get out my thoughts and feelings.  I love this forum.  :)
In my opinion, everything (including humans) is genderless. We are all neutral. A male and a female is a role of creating new forms. That's all. If we want babies, we use male and female. And the male and female ends there. Then we return to neutral.  :)
I pray that religious animosity will end.

Zlote Jablko

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Re: What does it mean to feel like a man or a woman?
« Reply #2 on: March 31, 2019, 10:27:34 pm »
In my opinion, everything (including humans) is genderless. We are all neutral. A male and a female is a role of creating new forms. That's all. If we want babies, we use male and female. And the male and female ends there. Then we return to neutral.  :)

I think there is a lot of subjectivity in gender. I’ve noticed that guys often interpret masculinity in accordance with their own nature. For one man masculinity may be selfless, and for another it may be selfish. For one man masculinity is intellectual, and for another it’s simple. Masculinity is often what we make of it.

On the other hand, I hesitate to say that there’s *nothing* inherent hidden behind the many mirages created by culture and individual taste. Can we really say that men and women don’t have different tendencies, perhaps stemming from their distinct evolutionary roles?

One kind of disturbing fact I’ve come across is that Y-chromosomal DNA is much less diverse than mitochondrial DNA. In other words, there are many more female lineages than male lineages. Over time, the majority of male lineages tended to be out-competed and eventually disappear. It seems likely to me that we were shaped by this intense competition. At least just a bit. It doesn’t invalidate individual variation, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that men can’t be another way, but it could account for some of the variance.

Gender roles are cultural and complicated. I think you have a really complex interaction there between biology, culture, and psychology, so individual interpretations are abundant. I suspect we take very general or slight biological tendencies, and construct very concrete identities around them. Or we choose not to.


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