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Author Topic: Guy friend is having some issues  (Read 1258 times)

SerpentineSorcerer

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Guy friend is having some issues
« on: January 24, 2013, 11:44:13 am »
Okay, I've got this guy friend and he's in a bit of a dilemma. Recently his on again, off again girlfriend has decided to pass him up. My friend is smart, amazing, funny, a fantastic guy and acts like a great parental figure to this girl's little boy. The girl even said he's a great father figure for her kid and he's grade a marriage material. Now, she goes and decides to pass him up for this guy who she has been warned against time and time again and had a bad time with before. This dude, goes by Chris, is a guy who couldn't be assed to care about this chick's kid, is emotionally unreliable and shares no real long-term goals, and has even mentioned he doesn't care for kids. This guy's own friends even told this girl that he's a player, not to mention a number of her own friends warning he's up to no good.

So my guy friend is quite confused as to what her deal is. Said girl wants to be friends with my guy friend, tells him that she doesn't want him out of her life, yet pulls this crap. I told him he should just focus on himself and not worry about her. Said guy didn't work out before  when she dated him and I've yet to see any real difference in his behavior.

What should he do? He cares about her and her kid, but he's not going to let himself be walked all over.
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Re: Guy friend is having some issues
« Reply #1 on: January 24, 2013, 12:33:01 pm »
Quote from: SerpentineSorcerer;93276

What should he do? He cares about her and her kid, but he's not going to let himself be walked all over.

 
My concern is for the kid, he should talk to the kid about his relationship with him.  

He needs to put the woman in the non marriageable friend category.  

He needs to move on, (sometimes it's not easy).

Lastly understand he is not the problem or its source.
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Gilbride

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Re: Guy friend is having some issues
« Reply #2 on: January 24, 2013, 12:41:46 pm »
Quote from: SerpentineSorcerer;93276
Okay, I've got this guy friend and he's in a bit of a dilemma.

If she wanted to be with your guy friend, she would be. She's making another choice because she wants to. It may not show great judgment for her to go for this other guy, but in the end it's that simple. You can't talk someone into wanting to be with you, you can't "earn" it- they either want to or they don't. Just my opinion.
« Last Edit: January 24, 2013, 03:11:38 pm by SunflowerP »

Laveth

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Re: Guy friend is having some issues
« Reply #3 on: January 24, 2013, 01:16:43 pm »
Quote from: SerpentineSorcerer;93276
Okay, I've got this guy friend and he's in a bit of a dilemma. Recently his on again, off again girlfriend has decided to pass him up. My friend is smart, amazing, funny, a fantastic guy and acts like a great parental figure to this girl's little boy. The girl even said he's a great father figure for her kid and he's grade a marriage material. Now, she goes and decides to pass him up for this guy who she has been warned against time and time again and had a bad time with before. This dude, goes by Chris, is a guy who couldn't be assed to care about this chick's kid, is emotionally unreliable and shares no real long-term goals, and has even mentioned he doesn't care for kids. This guy's own friends even told this girl that he's a player, not to mention a number of her own friends warning he's up to no good.

So my guy friend is quite confused as to what her deal is. Said girl wants to be friends with my guy friend, tells him that she doesn't want him out of her life, yet pulls this crap. I told him he should just focus on himself and not worry about her. Said guy didn't work out before  when she dated him and I've yet to see any real difference in his behavior.

What should he do? He cares about her and her kid, but he's not going to let himself be walked all over.

 

Nothing. The fact of the matter is, in the end, it is her decision, her life, and her family. All your friend really can do is either a) make an *ss of himself and try to manipulate or otherwise control her, or b) accept what's happened and either make himself available to her if she ever hits a hard situation, or leave the situation entirely. Either way, the healthiest response is the latter.

Not all things people do are logical, some things seem downright crazy. But you're not inside her head, you're not a mind-reader, and it's not really any of your business to intrude upon hers. It's time to move on.

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