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Author Topic: You're Scared; I'm Scared. Let's Be Scared Together!  (Read 12800 times)

Etheric1

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Re: You're Scared; I'm Scared. Let's Be Scared Together!
« Reply #45 on: July 25, 2011, 01:31:37 pm »
Quote from: SatSekhem;2070
I don't know about anyone else, but when it comes to this faith, it all feels extremely rocky to me. I'm scared and uncertain. I have no fucking clue what the hell I'm doing most of the time. I feel like the silences I get from my netjeret means that she is supremely upset with me or that I did screw something up, but I just don't know what. I feel like I'm treading water in a storm-tossed sea and I just can't keep up anymore.

I worry all the time about it. It got so bad a few months ago that I just... I froze, I think? I stopped performing the daily rite that I had been doing every day. I know a lot of the issues were mundane (work was breaking through to corrupt my personal and spiritual life, more or less). However, that's not it in its entirety. I had so many clamoring fears and questions and uncertainties that I just didn't know what to do anymore. Instead of making an active decision, I stuck my head in the sand.

And that's where I am.

What about you? Where are you? :confused:


Ok, first I'll say I have not read every page on this thread but so far, I LOVE what's been said.  

I go through these phases myself fairly often, this was especially true before I discovered Kemeticism.  So far I've worked mostly with Anpu and Set, and there are times I feel I cannot reach them, not because they've abandoned me, but more like they are unavailable at the time for whatever reason.  Unlike a Christian faith, I don't think our gods are omni-present.  They may be focused on something else, or they want us to try to take care of something by ourselves.  Perhaps it's because we need to be on our own for our personal growth.  Kind of like how our birth parents eventually do have to let us figure a thing out.  

In these times where I can't seem to connect, it can be incredibly stressful, but that does not mean we've been abandoned permanently.  My experience has been that the gods are very patient, even Sutekh.  Some may be more direct with us, while others are there but are more subtle.  

On the other hand, I've found that when I cannot connect with Anpu or Sutekh, I can try to connect with another god and that one may be the most correct deity for me to work with at a given time.  This has lead me to brief encounters with Sobek, Nut, and Heru.  I've never got the sense that such behavior was inappropriate, or that I had given offense.  I like to think of it more like if I had to get my roof fixed on my house, I would not call on a plumber to do it, even if my plumber kicks ass.  
 
If we make a mistake, I'm the gods understand that these things happen.  We learn best from our mistakes.  I do not think the gods are silent at a given time because they are upset with us.  The concept that we've pissed off the gods in some unknown way is something I've picked up from my Catholic up-bringing.  They love to say god works in mysterious ways - which if you think about it, does not say much for a god because that would make him/her as son of a bitch.  It would be like if a parent hits their kid, the kid asks why, and the parent says "I'm not going to tell you."

Personally, when I first started working with Set I was so worried about doing things right and not angering him that I was losing out on the moment and was too distracted to get much from my meditations.  I got a strong feeling that what was most important was to make the effort and worry about doing things right later.  Both Anpu and Set I've found will make their presence known in a big way if it's needed.

Just my two cents. Hope that helps!
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SatSekhem

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Re: You're Scared; I'm Scared. Let's Be Scared Together!
« Reply #46 on: July 25, 2011, 07:12:30 pm »
Quote from: Etheric1;8034
...Unlike a Christian faith, I don't think our gods are omni-present.  They may be focused on something else, or they want us to try to take care of something by ourselves.  Perhaps it's because we need to be on our own for our personal growth.  Kind of like how our birth parents eventually do have to let us figure a thing out.  

 
I think this has been mentioned a few times in other threads. Since most of us come from a Christian background, and the Christian God is omnipresent as well as omniscient, some of us just assume that the gods we follow off of a Christian path would be as well. I know I find this problematic, personally.

And you're probably quite right: I've tried to get in touch with Sekhmet and have gotten a kind of wave-off a few times: "Not right now; I'm busy."
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Devo

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Re: You're Scared; I'm Scared. Let's Be Scared Together!
« Reply #47 on: July 25, 2011, 09:07:59 pm »
Quote from: SatSekhem;8145


And you're probably quite right: I've tried to get in touch with Sekhmet and have gotten a kind of wave-off a few times: "Not right now; I'm busy."

 
I call this 'getting the answering machine'. I get Set's answering machine. A LOT.

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Darkhawk

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Re: You're Scared; I'm Scared. Let's Be Scared Together!
« Reply #48 on: July 25, 2011, 09:28:54 pm »
Quote from: Devo;8182
I call this 'getting the answering machine'. I get Set's answering machine. A LOT.

 
He never picks up the line to answer questions.
as the water grinds the stone
we rise and fall
as our ashes turn to dust
we shine like stars    - Covenant, "Bullet"

veggiewolf

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Re: You're Scared; I'm Scared. Let's Be Scared Together!
« Reply #49 on: July 26, 2011, 11:05:15 am »
Quote from: Darkhawk;8189
He never picks up the line to answer questions.


Or when He does, the answers piss us off more.  ;)
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Re: You're Scared; I'm Scared. Let's Be Scared Together!
« Reply #50 on: July 26, 2011, 03:05:47 pm »
Quote from: Darkhawk;8189
He never picks up the line to answer questions.

 
Seems that way some times.

There was a time when he disappeared on me. I kept trying to get his attn, to no avail. Then he showed up a while later, like he never left "Hey what's up" to which I pointed to all of the crap I could have used his help on, or the mass destruction that was my life, only to watch him go "...oh. I'll be back" and run off again.

Chaos does what chaos wants, I guess.

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