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Author Topic: Ongoing Stress Making Me Sick  (Read 1636 times)

Leirion

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Ongoing Stress Making Me Sick
« on: February 18, 2014, 07:32:08 pm »
A little over a year and a half ago, I moved away from a very unhealthy living situation. Mental illness runs in my family, and I was living at home and constantly exposed to things that further aggravated my own issues. I had no idea how to take care of myself, was malnourished, and spent every day just waiting (and wanting) to die.

Fortunately, I managed to get out thanks to the constant love and support from my partner. Less fortunately, this living situation is also really stressful, too. Most days, I do not feel safe, which flares all my anxiety and lately has led to panic attacks as well as breakdowns where I am unable to get off the couch due to both emotional pain, but physical as well. This makes it hard for me to do housework, let alone art and writing, which I am trying to earn an income with.

My partner does all he can to help me through it, but there are some things about our current living situation that are not going to improve anytime soon. On top of that, my family has a lot of drama that they keep trying to rope me into; my grandmother's health is failing; and all of everything just makes me feel trapped and hopeless.

So if anyone could spare a kind thought or prayer, it would be very greatly appreciated.

victoreia

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Re: Ongoing Stress Making Me Sick
« Reply #1 on: February 18, 2014, 07:35:39 pm »
Quote from: Elaine;140322
A little over a year and a half ago, I moved away from a very unhealthy living situation. Mental illness runs in my family, and I was living at home and constantly exposed to things that further aggravated my own issues. I had no idea how to take care of myself, was malnourished, and spent every day just waiting (and wanting) to die.

Fortunately, I managed to get out thanks to the constant love and support from my partner. Less fortunately, this living situation is also really stressful, too. Most days, I do not feel safe, which flares all my anxiety and lately has led to panic attacks as well as breakdowns where I am unable to get off the couch due to both emotional pain, but physical as well. This makes it hard for me to do housework, let alone art and writing, which I am trying to earn an income with.

My partner does all he can to help me through it, but there are some things about our current living situation that are not going to improve anytime soon. On top of that, my family has a lot of drama that they keep trying to rope me into; my grandmother's health is failing; and all of everything just makes me feel trapped and hopeless.

So if anyone could spare a kind thought or prayer, it would be very greatly appreciated.

{{{Elaine}}} Hang in there!

What kind of mental health coverage do you have access to? Any support groups?
Do. Or do not. There is no try.  --Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back

We are star stuff. We are the universe, made manifest. --Ambassador Delenn, Babylon 5

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Aisling

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Re: Ongoing Stress Making Me Sick
« Reply #2 on: February 18, 2014, 07:38:07 pm »
Quote from: Elaine;140322

So if anyone could spare a kind thought or prayer, it would be very greatly appreciated.

 
(((Elaine)))

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Leirion

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Re: Ongoing Stress Making Me Sick
« Reply #3 on: February 18, 2014, 07:44:01 pm »
Quote from: victoreia;140323
{{{Elaine}}} Hang in there!

What kind of mental health coverage do you have access to? Any support groups?

 
I actually just got temporary health insurance through the state last month, and have been more focused on trying to keep it than actually using it. (Trying to get up the stamina to file taxes, gather paperwork, submit it all, etc.). I think it would include some psychiatrists, etc.

The problem for me is, I have had really, really bad experiences with the mental  health field in the past. Any medication I have been put on, I reacted very badly to it, to the point of almost being hospitalized. I still have some lingering side effects from them after a handful of years.

So I have been trying to do more holistic stuff, at home. I talk about absolutely everything with my partner. I am doing DBT coursework when I am able, and that is helping. It is just frustrating, because I will be doing better and building myself up, and then things at home will explode and I just kind of fall back into all the old patterns (beating myself up, self-harm, suicidal ideation, all that fun stuff).

A support group might work, though. I have really bad social anxiety, so I did not really consider it. But I live in a major city area, so there are probably some good ones around here.

And thank you so much for your support. <3

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Re: Ongoing Stress Making Me Sick
« Reply #4 on: February 18, 2014, 09:54:54 pm »
Quote from: Elaine;140322
So if anyone could spare a kind thought or prayer, it would be very greatly appreciated.

:: prayers for less stress ::
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Redfaery

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Re: Ongoing Stress Making Me Sick
« Reply #5 on: February 19, 2014, 09:27:23 am »
Quote from: Elaine;140322
A little over a year and a half ago, I moved away from a very unhealthy living situation. Mental illness runs in my family, and I was living at home and constantly exposed to things that further aggravated my own issues. I had no idea how to take care of myself, was malnourished, and spent every day just waiting (and wanting) to die.

Fortunately, I managed to get out thanks to the constant love and support from my partner. Less fortunately, this living situation is also really stressful, too. Most days, I do not feel safe, which flares all my anxiety and lately has led to panic attacks as well as breakdowns where I am unable to get off the couch due to both emotional pain, but physical as well. This makes it hard for me to do housework, let alone art and writing, which I am trying to earn an income with.

My partner does all he can to help me through it, but there are some things about our current living situation that are not going to improve anytime soon. On top of that, my family has a lot of drama that they keep trying to rope me into; my grandmother's health is failing; and all of everything just makes me feel trapped and hopeless.

So if anyone could spare a kind thought or prayer, it would be very greatly appreciated.


I'll be thinking of you. Getting good mental health help is hard. I know this, having struggled with asperger's, ADHD, and anxiety issues my whole life. My advice is to look in a big city with a large academic presence. I'm in North Carolina, and basically the only good mental health that can be found here is in the Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill area, where there are three major universities. It has the highest per capita concentration of advanced degrees in the nation.
 
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KARMA: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Leirion

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Re: Ongoing Stress Making Me Sick
« Reply #6 on: February 19, 2014, 09:22:59 pm »
Quote from: Redfaery;140400
I'll be thinking of you. Getting good mental health help is hard. I know this, having struggled with asperger's, ADHD, and anxiety issues my whole life. My advice is to look in a big city with a large academic presence. I'm in North Carolina, and basically the only good mental health that can be found here is in the Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill area, where there are three major universities. It has the highest per capita concentration of advanced degrees in the nation.
 
Would you like me to light a candle for you?


Yeah, I have been dealing with heavy anxiety and depression issues for most of my life, starting when I was 10 or so. I was back in Texas when I was treated, and while it was a major city, the whole atmosphere just did not work for me.

I now live a mile and a half walk from Boston, and even less to Harvard and MIT. So I am probably in a really good area for treatment, if I wanted to go that direction. I am not sure, yet.

I would definitely appreciate a candle, if you do not mind. I am sorry to hear you struggle with similar issues. It can be really hard.

beachglass

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Re: Ongoing Stress Making Me Sick
« Reply #7 on: February 21, 2014, 01:08:22 am »
Quote from: Elaine;140509
I now live a mile and a half walk from Boston, and even less to Harvard and MIT. So I am probably in a really good area for treatment, if I wanted to go that direction. I am not sure, yet.

I live right near you! A few years back I did some research into different therapists around here, and found a lot of variation, so hopefully you will be able to find someone compatible when/if you decide to go that route.

If you ever just feel the need to get the heck out of the city, the Middlesex Fells is a great place to hike and forget how close you are to 3 million other people. No car required, either.
« Last Edit: February 21, 2014, 01:08:43 am by beachglass »
"The further we go, and older we grow, the more we know, the less we show."  ~ Robert Smith

Leirion

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Re: Ongoing Stress Making Me Sick
« Reply #8 on: February 21, 2014, 01:28:33 am »
Quote from: beachglass;140599
I live right near you! A few years back I did some research into different therapists around here, and found a lot of variation, so hopefully you will be able to find someone compatible when/if you decide to go that route.

If you ever just feel the need to get the heck out of the city, the Middlesex Fells is a great place to hike and forget how close you are to 3 million other people. No car required, either.

 
I looked into some studies they were doing at Harvard, but then the tone of the websites  really did not sit well for me. That is about as far as I have looked into so far.

And yay, hello, neighbor! I have not really much left the city since I moved here. A friend of mine has been trying to get me to trek to Winchester, but with my chronic pain issues, I am not sure a 13 mile round trip in the snow is the best idea, ever, lol.

I have not heard of the Middlesex Fells, though. No car? You can get to it via the T? I love the city, but even the city I grew up in was really spread out and open. I was the kind of person who went camping a couple of times a year up in nowhereseville Oklahoma. Being able to go somewhere with actual quiet might be nice.

beachglass

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Re: Ongoing Stress Making Me Sick
« Reply #9 on: February 21, 2014, 01:47:02 am »
Quote from: Elaine;140601
I looked into some studies they were doing at Harvard, but then the tone of the websites  really did not sit well for me. That is about as far as I have looked into so far.

And yay, hello, neighbor! I have not really much left the city since I moved here. A friend of mine has been trying to get me to trek to Winchester, but with my chronic pain issues, I am not sure a 13 mile round trip in the snow is the best idea, ever, lol.

I have not heard of the Middlesex Fells, though. No car? You can get to it via the T? I love the city, but even the city I grew up in was really spread out and open. I was the kind of person who went camping a couple of times a year up in nowhereseville Oklahoma. Being able to go somewhere with actual quiet might be nice.

 
The Fells is actually partly in Winchester! But it's huge. The T-accessible parts are in Medford (by bus) or Malden (Orange Line but a bit of a walk). It's an amazing place because you really can forget you are so close to the city, then you walk up a ridge and see the Boston skyline. I've never ventured up in the snow though. If there's a big melt the area by the bus stop gets a little swampy! Friends of the Fells has all the info and you can buy a map at Porter Square Books.
"The further we go, and older we grow, the more we know, the less we show."  ~ Robert Smith

Leirion

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Re: Ongoing Stress Making Me Sick
« Reply #10 on: February 21, 2014, 01:58:43 am »
Quote from: beachglass;140602
The Fells is actually partly in Winchester! But it's huge. The T-accessible parts are in Medford (by bus) or Malden (Orange Line but a bit of a walk). It's an amazing place because you really can forget you are so close to the city, then you walk up a ridge and see the Boston skyline. I've never ventured up in the snow though. If there's a big melt the area by the bus stop gets a little swampy! Friends of the Fells has all the info and you can buy a map at Porter Square Books.

 
That sounds awesome! I bookmarked the page. Thank you so much for the information. <3

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