Passed friend speaking to me in dream

[Quill]

I had a very intensely rough night sleeping last night. My mother passed from a fast but furious battle with cancer, and I had multiple nightmares involving her cancer. However, I also had one dream that was not a nightmare.

A friend of mine from the old MySpace chatrooms passed away a few months ago. I'd always wanted to meet her in person, but never got the chance. Years ago, she had spoken to me about witchcraft, though that wasn't the word she used (this was in the mid-2000s). I felt something then, when she talked to me about it, but my boyfriend at the time forbid me from it, told me she was pulling me into something dark, and forbid me from speaking to her. I finally rid myself of him, but never approached her about it again, now to my deep regret.

Last night, she came to me in a dream. It was more like a lucid dream than a normal dream. We were in a forest, and she was in a human form, but a glowing light blue all over. I was flying in a circle around her as she spoke to me. She was instructing me on something, but for the life of me, I don't know what. I fought to stay in the dream once I realized I was lucid - I usually wake up when I become aware of my lucidity - but she managed to say a few more things before I woke. It's bothered me all day that I can't remember more specifics.

One caveat is that I have struggled with alcohol dependency lately, and last night was the first sober night I'd had in a while. I'm wondering if that was why she has only reached me now. I have had half a glass of wine tonight, as I'm terrified of having the nightmares about my mom again, but I know I need to rid myself of this dependency regardless. I'm planning to keep it to half a glass for the rest of the work week (I can't afford to go in as tired as I was today the rest of the week) and use the weekend to start breaking the habit.

Beyond quitting the alcohol, is there anything I can do to remember what she was telling me to do?

[Jenett]

I had a very intensely rough night sleeping last night. My mother passed from a fast but furious battle with cancer, and I had multiple nightmares involving her cancer. However, I also had one dream that was not a nightmare.

I'm so sorry for both your losses.

Last night, she came to me in a dream. It was more like a lucid dream than a normal dream. We were in a forest, and she was in a human form, but a glowing light blue all over. I was flying in a circle around her as she spoke to me. She was instructing me on something, but for the life of me, I don't know what. I fought to stay in the dream once I realized I was lucid - I usually wake up when I become aware of my lucidity - but she managed to say a few more things before I woke. It's bothered me all day that I can't remember more specifics.

First, the thing with dreams and trance work is there are lots of ways they show up in our lives. It's actually fairly common for people to have deep experiences in both, but then when they return to ordinary consciousness, they don't remember the details. The details are still in your head, and can come up again later.

Often this kind of 'we had a really important conversation and I don't remember most of it' is because your waking brain may not be ready to process it. Time to chew on it can be really important, and forcing that process may not be helpful.

That said, there's some stuff you could try that might help:
- One method is an altar for your beloved dead (in general) or for specific people (your friend, your mother, etc.) individually, depending on what you want to focus on. Usually these include some items (things that make you think of the person, for an online connection you might print out bits of the conversations if you have them, user icons/images/etc.) A candle and a bowl of water are traditional offerings, especially if you don't knwo about favourite foods/etc.

Spending a little time there, asking for more information in your dreams (or via meditation, if you'd rather try that) are a solid place to start. You might or might not get anywhere with it, but you'll know you made space for more contact to happen.

You don't need to do that right away - wait for the weekend, and try it on a night you're not having wine. Set up the altar, let her know you enjoyed that, and say you'll be making sure conditions are good for another contact on the weekend if you like.

It is also possible that this contact is mostly what you get - in which case, trust that she said what she needed to, and you'll remember the relevant parts at the right time, if and when that happens. You can also pay more attention to those slightly out of the ordinary things that come up in daily life, or consider more specific explorations like divination or meditation and see what happens with those.