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Author Topic: Empath or something else?  (Read 2694 times)

DancesWithHorses

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Re: Empath or something else?
« Reply #15 on: July 22, 2012, 09:53:31 am »
Quote from: Annie Roonie;65276
First, I am very glad you are there to ease their way.

Second, you just made me lol for reals! Thank you!

I think there are posh women who cannot go to shoe boutiques for a similar but more superficial reasons.:D:


Glad I made you laugh. We lost another two goats, both within hours. One I petted while she went, she was in a lot of pain and I didn't know how much painkiller to give her. The other I petted at the lunch feeding and it was dead when I checked on her again, not sure what was wrong with her. I felt drained and then did something stupid as a result to "refuel."
Jinx or Jinxy :)
Add a dash of folklore, a few centuries of farmer\'s blood and mix well.
[/B]

Annie Roonie

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Re: Empath or something else?
« Reply #16 on: July 22, 2012, 12:55:02 pm »
Quote from: DancesWithHorses;65422
I felt drained and then did something stupid as a result to "refuel."


Sounds like it would be worth brainstorming a way to cope with this. If this is going to be a repeated experience, you are human and having a method to assimilate those feelings you are left with after they move on might help avoid doing anything stupid.

There are some pretty severe human dramas I have experienced in my line of work. You never want them to happen, but they do. Some colleagues deal with it by drinking, some by getting angry, others with prayer. Lots of ways and many unhealthy. I've got my own ways and I know that even if I have to put it off to get through a day, I must find a way to honor the experience, the people, something. If I don't, a ball of residual feelings has me set on self destruction.

Prior to finding a way to cope and using it, I had some awfully stupid responses to tragedies myself. I once threw an id on a heavy piece of plastic at the head honcho in his office crying and yelling and hitting a desk. It was my first loss. Thankfully, he understood that I needed a way and that they don't teach that stuff in college. He did not fire me.

You know what's healthy for you, and there is nothing at all wrong with planning a coping strategy. It doesn't mean that you're hoping for things to repeat. Think of it as self preservation and care. Like having antiseptic or bandages in the cupboard.

YMMV. You already may have something in place.

DancesWithHorses

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Re: Empath or something else?
« Reply #17 on: July 22, 2012, 02:07:28 pm »
Quote from: Annie Roonie;65453
Sounds like it would be worth brainstorming a way to cope with this. If this is going to be a repeated experience, you are human and having a method to assimilate those feelings you are left with after they move on might help avoid doing anything stupid.

You know what's healthy for you, and there is nothing at all wrong with planning a coping strategy. It doesn't mean that you're hoping for things to repeat. Think of it as self preservation and care. Like having antiseptic or bandages in the cupboard.

YMMV. You already may have something in place.

 
I don't have anything in place and I know I should. Alcohol is a bad way of coping even if it is easy. Usually I can deal with the aftermath but this time it was pretty intense (one fairly haunting).

I've turned to sewing ATM. Easy way to focus and harmless to everyone. :)
Jinx or Jinxy :)
Add a dash of folklore, a few centuries of farmer\'s blood and mix well.
[/B]

Annie Roonie

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Re: Empath or something else?
« Reply #18 on: July 22, 2012, 11:03:15 pm »
Quote from: DancesWithHorses;65466


I've turned to sewing ATM. Easy way to focus and harmless to everyone. :)

 
THAT sounds great to me. I use creative means to cope as well. It can be a way to turn things around and let things out. Good for you and your instincts!

DancesWithHorses

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Re: Empath or something else?
« Reply #19 on: July 23, 2012, 08:54:01 am »
Quote from: Annie Roonie;65530
THAT sounds great to me. I use creative means to cope as well. It can be a way to turn things around and let things out. Good for you and your instincts!


Glad to know I'm not the only one. The only difficulty is that often when I sew to work through something, I miss the ability to see what I'm sewing. A bit more of a challenge. I'm not too happy with how this project is turning out but at least the fabric was cheap and my friend will be happy.

What do you do, creatively? I used to draw but I haven't in years.
Jinx or Jinxy :)
Add a dash of folklore, a few centuries of farmer\'s blood and mix well.
[/B]

Annie Roonie

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Re: Empath or something else?
« Reply #20 on: July 23, 2012, 03:05:08 pm »
Quote from: DancesWithHorses;65627


What do you do, creatively? I used to draw but I haven't in years.



I also sew sometimes. I know what you mean about not being able to see as clearly too. I have like 30 really wonky but sturdy dresses, like house dresses that I made out of bedsheets when I was trying to process things. I keep them but they are far from good sewing examples and none of them fit me. ha! Oh they are u-g-l-y and that makes me laugh still. The ones below came out the best and I still had to fold the awful edges behind them and step veeeery far away. :D:

[attach=CONFIG][/attach] Haaaaa! Oh good gravy they're unwearable.

I've painted, wrote short short stories and essays, beaded id chains, made jewelry. Photo editing. Puppet shows. Making movies. Photography. Welding. Woodwork. I'll look around and something will call out to me. Community service. Cycling. Physical activity that is extended enough to cause endorphin release, at least temporarily, can completely remove me from all pain. Getting in touch with the elements. Beach!

Each thing allows for a release of useless self destructive thoughts through distractions because I have to think of what I am doing at the moment (even if I am doing it poorly). And each thing carries with it some gift of it's own by the nature of what it is. Like your interacting with your friend with sewing. Such gifts allow for a contemplation of things not about me and that gives me different perspectives.

I also will force myself to talk to a counselor if there is something that involves something very serious.

And honestly, while I don't talk to one god path wise, I talk to them all and doing that really helps. It allows me to get back to the spirit. And in the end, all these activities do that for me. Finding a way back to the spirit no matter how strange or silly or pragmatic even, allows for a kind of rejuvenation and peace.

And another thing about having some go-to coping strategies is that if they are things you would do anyway and enjoy doing, they're in place. They can work preventatively too IMO. Not always, but sometimes it is possible for me in the moment of an event to access that other perspective and use that to immediately assimilate. Bigger things not so much. Gotta grab the authoritarian perspective and keep people safe first, so assimilation has to be put off in those instances.

If I were anywhere near you, I'd drop off some colored pencils and a sketchbook. :)

DancesWithHorses

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Re: Empath or something else?
« Reply #21 on: July 23, 2012, 04:10:43 pm »
Quote from: Annie Roonie;65669
If I were anywhere near you, I'd drop off some colored pencils and a sketchbook. :)

I have like 10 sketchbooks... when my friends don't know what to give as a gift, its art supplies. Thank you though.

Welding... I really want to learn. Oh and mechanics. My radio is giving me the creeps, every morning when I go to work for the last week they play "Something To Do With My Hands," doesn't matter what time, or what station. Something is trying to tell me something...

I have to have faith or I'd really go crazy.

I'm sewing a summer dress right now, it will be wearable but it's not my best work. I had to actually follow the directions for once, that never happens. And now that I'm a bit better, it irritates me to see what 'mistakes' I made. I normally make prom dresses, this summer dress should have been a piece of cake, I've even made a similar dress before.
« Last Edit: July 23, 2012, 04:11:10 pm by DancesWithHorses »
Jinx or Jinxy :)
Add a dash of folklore, a few centuries of farmer\'s blood and mix well.
[/B]

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