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Author Topic: Ways to worship without parents knowing/mental rituals?  (Read 1849 times)

Kodi R.

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Ways to worship without parents knowing/mental rituals?
« on: January 04, 2013, 10:11:07 pm »
I sorta have two things to talk about in one thread because they're related very closely. I didn't know if making two separate threads would be considered spam or not.

I'm currently living an older teen (less than half a year to 17 years old) living in my parents' house. My dad is a pretty strict Catholic and we've headbutted about religion in the past. My mom is a more liberal spiritual Christian.

I've mentioned Paganism and the likes to them before and it didn't flow that smoothly (not horrendously, but not smoothly) so I figured to keep quiet about...stuff for now.

I'm not quite sure my parents would react well to me doing all this stuff.

I was wondering, what ways are there to silently worship and do all that? I know I can always say a silent prayer in my head, but what if I feel like I need to do more? Like make an offering for something important?

My mom likes it when I meditate so I have an incense burner and some candles in my room and recently that's been how I've been praying and doing all of that.

I sorta thought of doing mental rituals. Like, I don't know if it's a okay thing to do or not (which might sound silly) but I know I can't do rituals in real life, so I meditate and envision myself doing them and narrate it in my head. It's also a way that helps me stay focused while meditating.

This might be a silly question, but is that an alright thing to do? Or should I strive to find a place to do an actual ritual to? Does it still count even though it's all in my head?

Thank you. I hope you all had a happy new year.

Shine

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Re: Ways to worship without parents knowing/mental rituals?
« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2013, 10:34:25 pm »
Quote from: Kodi R.;89100
This might be a silly question, but is that an alright thing to do? Or should I strive to find a place to do an actual ritual to? Does it still count even though it's all in my head?

 
If you have no other choice, I don't see why this is such an awful thing to do. I would imagine you'd have to really exercise your visualization and meditation skills before moving onto more complex rituals, though.

As for worship, there are lots of silent, unobtrusive ways to do so. You can say prayers in your head. You can draw, paint, sing, or dance and as long as you're discreet, most people won't know the difference.
Leave your darkness with me, and I will make you shine.

Kodi R.

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Re: Ways to worship without parents knowing/mental rituals?
« Reply #2 on: January 04, 2013, 10:36:58 pm »
Quote from: Shine;89108

As for worship, there are lots of silent, unobtrusive ways to do so. You can say prayers in your head. You can draw, paint, sing, or dance and as long as you're discreet, most people won't know the difference.

 
Thank you.

Do you mean like dedicating something like drawing or singing a song to a deity? I can do that. I like to dance (albeit, badly, so maybe that's a no-go xD).

I write a lot though...

Juniper

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Re: Ways to worship without parents knowing/mental rituals?
« Reply #3 on: January 04, 2013, 10:39:13 pm »
Quote from: Kodi R.;89100

This might be a silly question, but is that an alright thing to do? Or should I strive to find a place to do an actual ritual to? Does it still count even though it's all in my head?


Yes I definitely think it still 'counts'. If your intentions are there and your mind is focused on what it is you're doing than that's okay--I personally don't feel as though everything has to be this big dramatic thing all of the time.

This is how most of my practice is, usually. I'm a pretty introverted person and I feel uncomfortable doing anything more then meditating or reciting a prayer/chant/offering in my head. Anything that requires doing much more than say, lighting a candle, and for some reason I become embarrassed. I think my deity is used to this about me and seems to find me somewhat amusing, in a maternal sort of way.
"I\'ve seen fake gods, and bad gods, and demigods and would-be gods; out of all that, out of that whole pantheon,
 if I believe in one thing... just one thing... I believe in her."

~David Tennant as the Tenth Doctor

Juniper

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Re: Ways to worship without parents knowing/mental rituals?
« Reply #4 on: January 04, 2013, 10:40:46 pm »
Quote from: Kodi R.;89110

I write a lot though...


I've always found that a poem is a good offering.
"I\'ve seen fake gods, and bad gods, and demigods and would-be gods; out of all that, out of that whole pantheon,
 if I believe in one thing... just one thing... I believe in her."

~David Tennant as the Tenth Doctor

FollowerofOdin

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Re: Ways to worship without parents knowing/mental rituals?
« Reply #5 on: January 04, 2013, 11:07:48 pm »
Quote from: Kodi R.;89100
I sorta have two things to talk about in one thread because they're related very closely. I didn't know if making two separate threads would be considered spam or not.

I'm currently living an older teen (less than half a year to 17 years old) living in my parents' house. My dad is a pretty strict Catholic and we've headbutted about religion in the past. My mom is a more liberal spiritual Christian.

I've mentioned Paganism and the likes to them before and it didn't flow that smoothly (not horrendously, but not smoothly) so I figured to keep quiet about...stuff for now.

I'm not quite sure my parents would react well to me doing all this stuff.

I was wondering, what ways are there to silently worship and do all that? I know I can always say a silent prayer in my head, but what if I feel like I need to do more? Like make an offering for something important?

My mom likes it when I meditate so I have an incense burner and some candles in my room and recently that's been how I've been praying and doing all of that.

I sorta thought of doing mental rituals. Like, I don't know if it's a okay thing to do or not (which might sound silly) but I know I can't do rituals in real life, so I meditate and envision myself doing them and narrate it in my head. It's also a way that helps me stay focused while meditating.

This might be a silly question, but is that an alright thing to do? Or should I strive to find a place to do an actual ritual to? Does it still count even though it's all in my head?

Thank you. I hope you all had a happy new year.

 
My mother has no idea that I'm a Norse Pagan and I want to keep it like that, at least for awhile. I pray to Odin and Thor when my mother is asleep. Of course what helps is the fact that I'm 33 and therefore an adult. I don't want my mother to know because she'll think that I'm a raciest or something like that. She still wants me to go to church but I don't want to go and I don't believe that I have to.

Kodi R.

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Re: Ways to worship without parents knowing/mental rituals?
« Reply #6 on: January 04, 2013, 11:28:02 pm »
Quote from: Juniper;89113
Yes I definitely think it still 'counts'. If your intentions are there and your mind is focused on what it is you're doing than that's okay--I personally don't feel as though everything has to be this big dramatic thing all of the time.

This is how most of my practice is, usually. I'm a pretty introverted person and I feel uncomfortable doing anything more then meditating or reciting a prayer/chant/offering in my head. Anything that requires doing much more than say, lighting a candle, and for some reason I become embarrassed. I think my deity is used to this about me and seems to find me somewhat amusing, in a maternal sort of way.

 
Thank you.

I'm a pretty introverted/awkward person too, so if I do say something out loud, it tends to go like "Hey, um ____, I'm going to light this candle for you. Um, yeah."

>.>

Kodi R.

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Re: Ways to worship without parents knowing/mental rituals?
« Reply #7 on: January 04, 2013, 11:28:42 pm »
Quote from: FollowerofOdin;89121
My mother has no idea that I'm a Norse Pagan and I want to keep it like that, at least for awhile. I pray to Odin and Thor when my mother is asleep. Of course what helps is the fact that I'm 33 and therefore an adult. I don't want my mother to know because she'll think that I'm a raciest or something like that. She still wants me to go to church but I don't want to go and I don't believe that I have to.


I could pray at night too.

Yeah, there's a difference between 16 and 33...

FollowerofOdin

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Re: Ways to worship without parents knowing/mental rituals?
« Reply #8 on: January 04, 2013, 11:51:05 pm »
Quote from: Kodi R.;89128
I could pray at night too.

Yeah, there's a difference between 16 and 33...

 
Yeah, like your parents can't tell you what to do at 33. I really feel bad for young Heathens, under 18, that can't practice their religion or have little rights. I think that if your old enough to decide what religion you follow then your old enough to practice it. My own personal opinion.

Shine

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Re: Ways to worship without parents knowing/mental rituals?
« Reply #9 on: January 05, 2013, 12:16:07 am »
Quote from: Kodi R.;89110
Thank you.

Do you mean like dedicating something like drawing or singing a song to a deity? I can do that. I like to dance (albeit, badly, so maybe that's a no-go xD).

I write a lot though...

 
Yup.

Try lots of things. Your gods will let you know if they'd prefer something else. For example, one time I danced for Bast as an offering. I'm a terrible dancer, but I tried my best. In the end, I got the impression of, "thanks, and nice try, but you need more practice before you can offer dance." Lol. Go with your strengths. I can write and play music okay, so I write poems, letters, etc., and am learning guitar for m'lady.

Poetry, hymns, short stories, letters, paintings, drawings (and not just of the deity in question--stuff the deity likes works, too!), songs that remind you of the deity, etc. are all great ways to worship without tipping people off to what you're doing. Well, unless they're super intuitive. ;)
Leave your darkness with me, and I will make you shine.

Shine

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Re: Ways to worship without parents knowing/mental rituals?
« Reply #10 on: January 05, 2013, 12:20:45 am »
Quote from: Kodi R.;89127
I'm a pretty introverted/awkward person too, so if I do say something out loud, it tends to go like "Hey, um ____, I'm going to light this candle for you. Um, yeah."

 
It might be worth your time to try speaking more things aloud as you get more comfortable with your practice. Silence usually carries to the gods just fine, but (most of) us humans were given voices for a reason. :) But to be sure, when faced with a new god/dess, it can feel awkward. I can speak aloud to Bast without discomfort at least 90% of the time, but I still fall into lapses of silence with Ganesh.

It's not considered cheating if you write down what you want to say, then read off the script the first few times until you get it memorized. Just don't write anything too long, pretentious, or plain. Strike a balance. Better yet, if you're part of a specific tradition, look up what is traditionally said if possible and use that.

You'll find that reading off a script will help you gain confidence to do more spontaneous things.

Of course, you have to be careful not to make the script too obvious due to your situation. But you knew that. Lol.
Leave your darkness with me, and I will make you shine.

Kodi R.

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Re: Ways to worship without parents knowing/mental rituals?
« Reply #11 on: January 05, 2013, 12:32:10 am »
Quote from: Shine;89136
Yup.
Poetry, hymns, short stories, letters, paintings, drawings (and not just of the deity in question--stuff the deity likes works, too!), songs that remind you of the deity, etc. are all great ways to worship without tipping people off to what you're doing. Well, unless they're super intuitive. ;)

 

Oh, I can definitely do that!

Thank you so much! :)

Sanacrow

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Re: Ways to worship without parents knowing/mental rituals?
« Reply #12 on: January 05, 2013, 01:51:01 am »
Quote from: Kodi R.;89100
I'm not quite sure my parents would react well to me doing all this stuff.
(snip)
... but I know I can't do rituals in real life, ...

 
You can't do rituals? Do you brush your teeth every day? That's a ritual. Say "hello" to the moon each time you see her? That's a ritual. You don't need fancy robes (or skin and beads), a bunch of tools, or smells and bells to have rituals in your life.

Who do you honor? What is important to them? What is a way to incorporate something of that in your life? If you work with someone for whom honey is a traditional offering, the act of putting honey in your tea every morning can be a ritual sacrament. If you work with someone who deals with companion animals, you can volunteer at a shelter or clinic as an act of worship and/or sacrifice. There are always ways, but the best ones are not always the most obvious.

 There are tons of things you can be doing that will help you now, and when you are on your own. "Life's Companion: Journal Writing as a Spiritual Quest" by Christina Baldwin is a good resource that can help to develop some extremely useful skills as well as explore the inside of your own mind, and it's not specific to any particular path. You don't need specifically "pagan" books and trappings for a good foundation or practice. Be creative. And don't look at a particular type of involved ritual or specific activity as what "practice" is. It's life. Every bit of it. (Even the brushing your teeth part.)

Sophia C

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Ways to worship without parents knowing/mental rituals?
« Reply #13 on: January 05, 2013, 02:37:48 am »
Quote from: Kodi R.;89100
I was wondering, what ways are there to silently worship and do all that? I know I can always say a silent prayer in my head, but what if I feel like I need to do more? Like make an offering for something important?

My mom likes it when I meditate so I have an incense burner and some candles in my room and recently that's been how I've been praying and doing all of that.

I sorta thought of doing mental rituals. Like, I don't know if it's a okay thing to do or not (which might sound silly) but I know I can't do rituals in real life, so I meditate and envision myself doing them and narrate it in my head. It's also a way that helps me stay focused while meditating.

This might be a silly question, but is that an alright thing to do? Or should I strive to find a place to do an actual ritual to? Does it still count even though it's all in my head?

Thank you. I hope you all had a happy new year.

If you can get outside, you can do rituals outside - this is is big part of my practice. Outdoor practice wouldn't be as relevant to every Pagan path as it is to mine, but it's still a way you can find quiet (if not uninterrupted) space for worship and ritual. Do you have any quiet woodland or country parks near you? It takes some getting used to, when other people turn up occasionally, but it's possible to do unobtrusive worship and ritual that no one would recognise as anything unusual. Meditating and praying outside can also be lovely (as long as the place is safe, of course). And offerings can work well there too, as long as you're offering biodegradable things and not littering.

And I do ritual in my head from time to time, when I'm not well enough to sit physically at my shrine. You can create an inner temple or grove that you enjoy visualising, and do anything you like there. It would look exactly like meditation to any observer.
« Last Edit: January 05, 2013, 02:39:16 am by Naomi J »
"We're all stories, in the end. Make it a good one, eh?"
- Doctor Who

Kodi R.

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Re: Ways to worship without parents knowing/mental rituals?
« Reply #14 on: January 05, 2013, 05:52:49 pm »
Quote from: Sanacrow;89146
You can't do rituals? Do you brush your teeth every day? That's a ritual. Say "hello" to the moon each time you see her? That's a ritual. You don't need fancy robes (or skin and beads), a bunch of tools, or smells and bells to have rituals in your life.

Who do you honor? What is important to them? What is a way to incorporate something of that in your life? If you work with someone for whom honey is a traditional offering, the act of putting honey in your tea every morning can be a ritual sacrament. If you work with someone who deals with companion animals, you can volunteer at a shelter or clinic as an act of worship and/or sacrifice. There are always ways, but the best ones are not always the most obvious.

 There are tons of things you can be doing that will help you now, and when you are on your own. "Life's Companion: Journal Writing as a Spiritual Quest" by Christina Baldwin is a good resource that can help to develop some extremely useful skills as well as explore the inside of your own mind, and it's not specific to any particular path. You don't need specifically "pagan" books and trappings for a good foundation or practice. Be creative. And don't look at a particular type of involved ritual or specific activity as what "practice" is. It's life. Every bit of it. (Even the brushing your teeth part.)

 
Huh, I never thought of it like that.

Thank you.

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