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Author Topic: General/Non-Specific: Trauma, Trickster or Something Else?  (Read 438 times)

saralevia

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Trauma, Trickster or Something Else?
« on: July 07, 2020, 05:00:17 pm »
Hello everyone -- I'm new to researching Paganism, so I'm hoping to gather some insight.

Over a multitude of years (at least eight), I've had various experiences with "sensing" negative energy, if you will. It can be quite frightening sometimes and I'm hoping that maybe I can find answers within Paganism. When I was around ten, I saw a shadow figure and it was a traumatic experience for me. Not too long after, I noticed that I was able to notice potential auras around people. Typically, they're thin, white-tinted outlines that surround an individual. The intensity of the tint is dependant on the person (i.e. I once had an instance where I saw a young boy with an intense tint, and a grandfather with a weak tint.) There was also one time where I saw an instructor in which I favoured be surrounded by an intense, yellow aura for a few seconds until I blinked. Before any of this happened, I used to collect and carry various crystals. I no longer do this but am looking into carrying them again.

Additionally, if it's of any importance to mention, I've always loved water and held a strong, loving attraction to it. Also that I consider myself to be relatively empathic.

My issue lies here -- Currently, I'm experiencing a near constant feeling in which is similar to the instance in which I saw the shadow figure. As if someone or something (energy) is hanging around me, particularly at night. I'm also having this occurring image of a grinning (seemingly malicious) white face, surrounded by darkness; typically this an out-of-the-corner-of-my-eye or back-of-my-mind kind of thing. I've also noticed that I've dreamed & day-dreamed a fair amount about a shape-shifting mass of darkness that takes animal forms; most commonly a wolf, snake, or occasionally a dragon. This being I am quite fond of. Despite my fear, I've also tended to adore shadow-related topics.

Is there an explanation for this? I was considering trickster. Or do you think it could be related to my early, traumatic experience of seeing a shadow figure? Any tips or tricks?

Thank you -- any advice (even if you believe that this is just a traumatic response) is much appreciated!  :) :)

PerditaPickle

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Re: Trauma, Trickster or Something Else?
« Reply #1 on: July 07, 2020, 05:35:03 pm »
Hello everyone

Hello there.

There's quite a few things this could be, or a combination of things.  And for us folks the far end of an internet connection it's always going to be tricky for us to try and determine what it is on your behalf, regardless of how long a post you write about it.

Instead, I'm going to suggest you start writing things down (if you don't already).  This might be a simple record of dates, times and what you experience each time.  Or you might decide to start keeping a fuller journal about those experiences, with reflections about the mood at the time and other details.  In time you should hopefully be able to see patterns to begin guiding you to your own conclusions.

When I've a bit more time I can let you know about the sorts of things I used to record in my dream journal if you think it might help.

Meantime, if you are experiencing anxiety you might try doing a search for some methods for helping to keep anxiety under control, there are lots.

Take care  :)
“Radiate boundless love towards the entire world — above, below, and across — unhindered, without ill will, without enmity.” – The Buddha
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PerditaPickle

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Re: Trauma, Trickster or Something Else?
« Reply #2 on: July 11, 2020, 08:36:49 am »
I can let you know about the sorts of things I used to record in my dream journal if you think it might help.

I remembered that a while back I'd started this thread which you might want to look over.

In summary, for the 6 months or so that I was keeping my dream journal I would record:
~ the date, what day of the week, what I'd been doing the day of the dream (working or not, been out in the sun a long time, whatever);
~ a prose account of what happened in each dream, so far as I could remember (or at least any impressions of bits of a dream I couldn't fully recall);
~ a list of any obvious symbolism or themes in the dream;
~ the overall mood I'd been feeling during the dream;
~ reflections of any very obvious "meaning", for example if I dreamed about a recent situation from my daily life and it was fairly clearly just my brain processing that event

I only stopped keeping the journal due to not having enough time to keep it up regularly - if I had enough time, I'd still like to be keeping it on an ongoing basis.

Hope this may be of some help.
“Radiate boundless love towards the entire world — above, below, and across — unhindered, without ill will, without enmity.” – The Buddha
(From the Metta Sutta)

My Portrait of Perpetual Perplexity blog

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