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Author Topic: Signs to look out for from Patron deities  (Read 2312 times)

Septima

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Signs to look out for from Patron deities
« on: March 09, 2013, 08:20:37 pm »
For almost a year or so now, I've been trying to search for my patron deity. I know that it's said that they choose you but it's getting quite frustrating. I've tried meditating quite a few times but I haven't gotten anything (I'm a terrible meditator anyway) and I've also tried just lighting a few candles, giving an offering and saying a few prayers to reach out to them, asking them to come forward in my life. That was a month ago and nothing has happened. I've kept on reading myths and books about ancient deities every now and then, hoping that something will stand out to me, so far nothing has. But I still have hope. Every night of the past week I've taken some friend's advice and asked them, or one of them, to come into my dreams. That hasn't worked either.

I was wondering what are some signs I should be on the look out for from my patron god/goddess? I know they maybe subtle and small signs but I feel like I'm going into it blind and don't know what to look for exactly. Does anybody have any advice?

Rhyshadow

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Re: Signs to look out for from Patron deities
« Reply #1 on: March 09, 2013, 08:36:07 pm »
Quote from: Septima;100390
For almost a year or so now, I've been trying to search for my patron deity. I know that it's said that they choose you but it's getting quite frustrating. I've tried meditating quite a few times but I haven't gotten anything (I'm a terrible meditator anyway) and I've also tried just lighting a few candles, giving an offering and saying a few prayers to reach out to them, asking them to come forward in my life. That was a month ago and nothing has happened. I've kept on reading myths and books about ancient deities every now and then, hoping that something will stand out to me, so far nothing has. But I still have hope. Every night of the past week I've taken some friend's advice and asked them, or one of them, to come into my dreams. That hasn't worked either.

I was wondering what are some signs I should be on the look out for from my patron god/goddess? I know they maybe subtle and small signs but I feel like I'm going into it blind and don't know what to look for exactly. Does anybody have any advice?

 
Realize that not everyone HAS a Patron deity, it's not a requirement and it's no slight on you if you don't have one.

I'd suggest relaxing, don't try so hard at it. If there's one out there that decides to take you under their wing, they'll tap you on the shoulder - sometimes when you least expect it.

Septima

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Re: Signs to look out for from Patron deities
« Reply #2 on: March 09, 2013, 08:50:20 pm »
Quote from: Rhyshadow;100393
Realize that not everyone HAS a Patron deity, it's not a requirement and it's no slight on you if you don't have one.

I'd suggest relaxing, don't try so hard at it. If there's one out there that decides to take you under their wing, they'll tap you on the shoulder - sometimes when you least expect it.


Thanks for that. If that's the case and I'm not meant to have a patron god or goddess, how exactly will a particular pantheon get in touch with me that they wish for me to honor?

Rhyshadow

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Re: Signs to look out for from Patron deities
« Reply #3 on: March 09, 2013, 08:54:20 pm »
Quote from: Septima;100395
Thanks for that. If that's the case and I'm not meant to have a patron god or goddess, how exactly will a particular pantheon get in touch with me that they wish for me to honor?

Start out from what you feel comfortable with - which pantheon draws you. If they don't want you, they'll let you know

I started out Wicca (Lord/Lady), went Norse for a while until settling on the Tuatha de Dannan of the Irish Gaelic - over the course of 15 years - sometimes it takes a while to find your 'niche'
« Last Edit: March 09, 2013, 08:54:49 pm by Rhyshadow »

Septima

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Re: Signs to look out for from Patron deities
« Reply #4 on: March 09, 2013, 08:58:46 pm »
Quote from: Rhyshadow;100396
Start out from what you feel comfortable with - which pantheon draws you. If they don't want you, they'll let you know

I started out Wicca (Lord/Lady), went Norse for a while until settling on the Tuatha de Dannan of the Irish Gaelic - over the course of 15 years - sometimes it takes a while to find your 'niche'


What kind of signs should I be looking out for with a pantheon? As I said in my first post, I've tried reaching out for a while now and I haven't gotten an answer. I'm not really sure on what kind of signs I should be looking for.

Rhyshadow

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Re: Signs to look out for from Patron deities
« Reply #5 on: March 09, 2013, 09:19:48 pm »
Quote from: Septima;100397
What kind of signs should I be looking out for with a pantheon? As I said in my first post, I've tried reaching out for a while now and I haven't gotten an answer. I'm not really sure on what kind of signs I should be looking for.

 
Just take it easy, start paying homage to a pantheon, just pick one that you seem to like, and you'll recognize the signs - it's mainly internal, everyone's experiences are different, so for me to try and tell you what to look for might backfire as they might make their acceptance/displeasure known differently than what I felt

Nachtigall

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Re: Signs to look out for from Patron deities
« Reply #6 on: March 09, 2013, 09:21:07 pm »
Quote from: Septima;100390
For almost a year or so now, I've been trying to search for my patron deity. I know that it's said that they choose you but it's getting quite frustrating. I've tried meditating quite a few times but I haven't gotten anything (I'm a terrible meditator anyway) and I've also tried just lighting a few candles, giving an offering and saying a few prayers to reach out to them, asking them to come forward in my life. That was a month ago and nothing has happened. I've kept on reading myths and books about ancient deities every now and then, hoping that something will stand out to me, so far nothing has. But I still have hope. Every night of the past week I've taken some friend's advice and asked them, or one of them, to come into my dreams. That hasn't worked either.

I was wondering what are some signs I should be on the look out for from my patron god/goddess? I know they maybe subtle and small signs but I feel like I'm going into it blind and don't know what to look for exactly. Does anybody have any advice?

 
What is your occupation or societal status? Try starting with this.

Other than that, why do you want to have a patron deity?

Septima

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Re: Signs to look out for from Patron deities
« Reply #7 on: March 09, 2013, 09:30:57 pm »
Quote from: Nachtigall;100401
What is your occupation or societal status? Try starting with this.

Other than that, why do you want to have a patron deity?


I'm a Massage therapist by trade. I'm not sure why, I just feel that I should have a deity(s) or pantheon to worship/honor as part of my practice.

Rhyshadow

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Re: Signs to look out for from Patron deities
« Reply #8 on: March 09, 2013, 09:34:36 pm »
Quote from: Septima;100402
I'm a Massage therapist by trade. I'm not sure why, I just feel that I should have a deity(s) or pantheon to worship/honor as part of my practice.

 
Well, they might not end up as a patron, but look into the ones who are Healers - Brighid, Airmid, Dain Cecht from the Irish TDD are starters

Look at other pantheons as well, all of them have Healers of one sort or another

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Re: Signs to look out for from Patron deities
« Reply #9 on: March 09, 2013, 09:44:50 pm »
Quote from: Septima;100397
What kind of signs should I be looking out for with a pantheon? As I said in my first post, I've tried reaching out for a while now and I haven't gotten an answer. I'm not really sure on what kind of signs I should be looking for.

 
One thing you can do is spend time getting to know different specific deities or pantheons - my training involved a year of exercises like this.

Basically, each month we'd have to do some basic research to learn about a particular deity, then also work on some sort of creative project that related to them (could be art, music, poetry, lyrics, sculpture. We had people plant gardens, create essential oil blends, all sorts of things.) For a lot of people, the creative element makes a big difference: it gives space for a different kind of connection.

The idea here is to keep it brief and polite but non-committal. Think of it like going to a community event where you're interested in the event, but you're also maybe looking at making some new friends.

You're not going to hurl yourself at someone and say "I JUST MET YOU BE MY BEST FRIEND EVER." (I mean, you can, but they may not agree and might not like it much.) And you don't want to be making plans for what you're doing five years from now.

But "Hey, this conversation was cool, wanna try coffee next week?" type things? That's okay.

With deities, it's the same thing. Don't promise your eternal devotion or commitment. Approach it as "I'd like to learn more about you over the next [whatever time]." (A month is about the shortest reasonable time. Three months is about the outer edge of what I'd suggest for 'seeing if it's worth exploring more'.)

The trick is that you want to be respectful - that's why it's important to take time to learn about the deity, to do something that they'll recognise as a sincere desire to learn some more and honour them (appropriate to your level of interaction: this doesn't mean BIG THING. For most deities, a small appropriate food/drink offering, some incense, or a little time spent with a cause that's particularly appropriate are just fine.)

You might start with pantheons that you have any kind of connection to (from your family heritage, places you've spent time, or just places you feel really drawn to for no particular reason.)

Or you might start by exploring deities from different pantheons who are interested in a particular thing you are. (So if music is a big thing for you, you might start with deities associated with music. If healing is a big thing, deities who are interested in that. Etc.)

Most people I know who've gone through this kind of deliberate process find that somewhere within the first year or so, they get a much better sense of where they should spend some more time. That's often not the deity hitting them on the head - it's often quieter and more relaxed, a mutual "Yeah, hey, you're okay." sort of thing.
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Fireof9

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Re: Signs to look out for from Patron deities
« Reply #10 on: March 09, 2013, 10:03:24 pm »
Quote from: Jenett;100404

You're not going to hurl yourself at someone and say "I JUST MET YOU BE MY BEST FRIEND EVER." (I mean, you can, but they may not agree and might not like it much.) And you don't want to be making plans for what you're doing five years from now.

But "Hey, this conversation was cool, wanna try coffee next week?" type things? That's okay.

With deities, it's the same thing. Don't promise your eternal devotion or commitment. Approach it as "I'd like to learn more about you over the next [whatever time]." (A month is about the shortest reasonable time. Three months is about the outer edge of what I'd suggest for 'seeing if it's worth exploring more'.)



That first bit there cracked me up a lot. I have met people like that.


Something I would like to add is to keep in mind is that you might attract the attention of a deity, but that in of itself does not make them your "patron". They may just have a passing interest, have something to teach you, or just "have a coffee" with you once in a while. I made that mistake when I first started out and it led to a lot of let down. I think when/if you do find that one - you will know for sure.

I also really like Jenett's advice about taking some time to get to know the deity. Read what lore you can find, revisit meditating, but with that deity in mind. I think its important to build a relationship -even a somewhat shallow one- with deity before asking them for anything at all.
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Re: Signs to look out for from Patron deities
« Reply #11 on: March 10, 2013, 11:13:31 am »
Quote from: Septima;100390
I was wondering what are some signs I should be on the look out for from my patron god/goddess? I know they maybe subtle and small signs but I feel like I'm going into it blind and don't know what to look for exactly. Does anybody have any advice?

 
Well, I've only had two experiences of deity approaching me, and both were when I was experiencing a lot of personal stuff.  The first, when things were moving hugely fast for myself, had a lot going on, and was starting to feel overwhelmed; the second, when I was absolutely lost, stagnant, and felt trapped.  My opinion is that deities approach us when we truly need help or need to learn a lesson; otherwise, we approach them.  

Both times, it was almost as if I couldn't do something or go somewhere without noticing a reference to that deity; they were in my dreams, they popped up in whatever I happened to be watching on tv, I seemed to come across books with them in it.  And it wasn't always the deity that popped out, but sometimes a name, or a symbol that's associated with them.  I was a bit thick about it at first, but once I realized that deity was approaching me and actually started noticing things, I was astonished at just how oblivious I was.  

One thing I would like to note is that when a deity approaches you, you have no control over it.  Yes, you could ignore the deity, but you'd be passing up a huge learning opportunity if nothing else.  But sometimes, a deity that scares us or someone we didn't really think we'd have a connection with pops into our lives.  Not all deities are lovingly open and maternal/paternal; some are emotionally distant and only raise an eyebrow as if to say "are you done yet?" when you ask for their comfort.  Sometimes, we need a little tough love, and sometimes we get it from a deity who approaches us.  

Though I've been approached by two deities, I do not feel as though either are my matrons (yet); as already said before, it takes time to establish a relationship, and I tend to be over-cautious by nature.  There's nothing wrong with simply honoring deity as a whole (if you believe in that sort of thing, as I do).  

Quote
Basically, each month we'd have to do some basic research to learn about a particular deity, then also work on some sort of creative project that related to them (could be art, music, poetry, lyrics, sculpture. We had people plant gardens, create essential oil blends, all sorts of things.) For a lot of people, the creative element makes a big difference: it gives space for a different kind of connection.


I actually really love this idea!  I think I might incorporate it into my own practice.  :)

A side note on meditation... meditation can be very useful, but there are multiple forms and styles.  Maybe try a different style for awhile?

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Re: Signs to look out for from Patron deities
« Reply #12 on: March 10, 2013, 11:32:32 am »
Quote from: Septima;100397
What kind of signs should I be looking out for with a pantheon? As I said in my first post, I've tried reaching out for a while now and I haven't gotten an answer. I'm not really sure on what kind of signs I should be looking for.

 
This seems backwards to me.

Which gods are associated with an ethos that resonates with your souls?  Which gods have symbolism and iconography you find particularly resonant?  Which rituals are most satisfying to you and your needs?  Which religious structures provide you what you need to be at your best?

You are not a passive participant with no responsibility for this process.  What do you need?  What appeals to you?  If you wait around for something outside to tell you what you like, you'll never get an answer.
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Re: Signs to look out for from Patron deities
« Reply #13 on: March 14, 2013, 04:23:54 pm »
Quote from: Rhyshadow;100400
Just take it easy, start paying homage to a pantheon, just pick one that you seem to like, and you'll recognize the signs - it's mainly internal, everyone's experiences are different, so for me to try and tell you what to look for might backfire as they might make their acceptance/displeasure known differently than what I felt


So, on the other hand, it's not wrong for me just to pick one I'm drawn to? When I recently began to lean towards meditating/offering as a pagan, I simply made the choice of directing my energy toward a certain deity and the rest of the universe in general without really ever thinking about what led me to them. I feel like a lot of beginning pagans do "choose" a pantheon after research, and after reading through forums and various websites, I've begun to feel like I haven't done my homework properly. I never even considered "choosing" a pantheon, I just went and got a representation of this deity without any conscious thought of why or considering my choices, and starting offering, etc.

But when I really started researching the deity in question his historically attributed personality, workings, focuses and strengths were pretty much exactly what I need at this point in my life, down to a T. Should I simply take this as a sign that I was led toward him because I needed him? Or did I just get lucky? Of course I realize now that it might have been ideal to do research into his history first, but I just did what felt right.

Hopefully this doesn't count as thread hijacking, if so I apologize.

Rhyshadow

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Re: Signs to look out for from Patron deities
« Reply #14 on: March 14, 2013, 05:52:08 pm »
Quote from: iisabelle;101320
So, on the other hand, it's not wrong for me just to pick one I'm drawn to? When I recently began to lean towards meditating/offering as a pagan, I simply made the choice of directing my energy toward a certain deity and the rest of the universe in general without really ever thinking about what led me to them. I feel like a lot of beginning pagans do "choose" a pantheon after research, and after reading through forums and various websites, I've begun to feel like I haven't done my homework properly. I never even considered "choosing" a pantheon, I just went and got a representation of this deity without any conscious thought of why or considering my choices, and starting offering, etc.

But when I really started researching the deity in question his historically attributed personality, workings, focuses and strengths were pretty much exactly what I need at this point in my life, down to a T. Should I simply take this as a sign that I was led toward him because I needed him? Or did I just get lucky? Of course I realize now that it might have been ideal to do research into his history first, but I just did what felt right.

Hopefully this doesn't count as thread hijacking, if so I apologize.

 
No, it follows the main idea of the thread, so no hijacking far as I'm concerned.

Luck plays a large part in getting your feet pointed in the right direction, and it sounds like yours was good. And while you can research something to death, a large part of what we do IS on gut feet, and it sounds like your instincts are working quite well - congrats :)

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