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Author Topic: Remembering when you were a beginner  (Read 2956 times)


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Remembering when you were a beginner
« on: June 26, 2014, 02:25:10 pm »
I just took a look at the Old Cauldron Forum and found this post of mine...

I find it funny because it's post-date is June-27-2011, and tomorrow is going to be June 27th!

Here's the old post:
Hey guys,

I feel I'm back to square one. I was good for a while; kept a journal and recorded anything from divination to dreams and spells...
but somewhere in between then and now I seemed to let life get in the way and now about a year later I'm back to basically where I started.
on and off, on and off...
I think one thing that is missing for me is a group setting. I am pretty much a Solitary Eclectic.
I need a sense of community, and these forums are great, but sometimes human interaction is nice too.

How do you integrate your religion into everyday life? How do you keep from neglecting your spiritual side?
any other tips and pointers would be great, Thank you.

So speed up about 3 years...

What I find funny is that I seemed to have made this pattern of getting 'back on track' around this time of the year...

From then til now... I've learned a bit more. I'm still Eclectic Solitary. I learned Reiki in late 2011. I'm getting better with Tarot. I also had a few brief exp with seeing and hearing spirits...

I guess what I'm asking is for you all to go back and find some old forum post, post it up here, and share how you've changed or grown on your spiritual path...


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Re: Remembering when you were a beginner...
« Reply #1 on: June 27, 2014, 01:43:29 pm »
Quote from: 8BitLady;151188
I guess what I'm asking is for you all to go back and find some old forum post, post it up here, and share how you've changed or grown on your spiritual path...

How funny! I'm still bringing up the same old Tacitus thing:

June 20, 2011: I said this in another thread but it also applies here:  Tacitus wrote that the germanics didn't see their gods as people: "The Germans, however, do not consider it consistent with the grandeur of celestial beings to confine the gods within walls, or to liken them to the form of any human countenance. They consecrate woods and groves, and they apply the names of deities to the abstraction which they see only in spiritual worship."

Just being at the heach with the waves lapping and the tides moving means I'm having a personal interaction with Ran. There isn't necessarily a voice I'll hear or a meditation that I'll do that will make her materialize more. The gods are a force, a presence, the intangible spirit within our world. The lands and the groves and the things we consecrate are for us, not to place the gods somewhere. After many years and sacrifices the land has a history of worship that makes it sacred. It isn't sacred in itself because the gods are the forces and essences of life that move through the world. Odin is derived from fury and inspiration- he is that which is in the artistic genius furiously painting, or in the general who has a sense to move forward by night. Considering also that in the lore it states that the gods gave us breath and spirit. We just are in a world that just is. All of THIS is the Aesir and wights.

I'm not exactly sure how much that view has changed over the years. I think maybe I appreciate the feeling of awe more than I did then, embrace those moments as profound spiritual connections. I don't think I'd say the gods are 'the' intangible spirit in the world but rather 'an' intangible spirit. I now think the worship is for us and them. I wouldn't say anymore "all of this is the Aesir and wights", but instead say what I experience is all of me, and the gods are something I invite in.

I also read the Tacitus line a bit differently then I did three years ago, as well.

Very cool idea, 8Bit!
« Last Edit: June 27, 2014, 01:45:29 pm by Juniperberry »
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Re: Remembering when you were a beginner...
« Reply #2 on: June 27, 2014, 03:07:18 pm »
Quote from: 8BitLady;151188

I guess what I'm asking is for you all to go back and find some old forum post, post it up here, and share how you've changed or grown on your spiritual path...

Here's my old post on reintroducing myself.

I'm pretty sure I was known as Acidrica on the old board as well. But yes, I'm Acidrica, also known as 'Zef' or 'Djesef', and I'm a 20 year old Kemetic Orthodox student of the funeral industry. I enjoy art, reading, and polite conversation about most anything.

I was raised agnostic, got into Native American mythology when I was about 13, and then from there I was pretty much pagan. I'm mostly self taught, at least when it comes to my 'shamanistic' leanings (I don't consider myself a shaman, btw, I just follow a lot of 'shamanistic' views on things). I'm Kemetic, and I follow Yinepu, who is my 'parent deity' in the House of Netjer. My 'beloveds' are Set, Sokar, and Sobek, and I have a relationship with all of them at varying degrees of involvement. I also tend to try to forge a relationship with every deity I do artwork of (I do art for other people of their deities), if only for a short amount of time to get to know them better so that I might portray them the best I can.

I guess my starting point was Native American mythology and chaos magic (yeah, smooth, I know), but the chaos magic part of my practice sort of stopped when (UPG WARNING~) Coyote clue-by-4'd me into accepting that the gods aren't just archetypes. From then I was a devotee of Coyote, until the point where he sort of...handed me off to Yinepu, and I've been Kemetic ever since.

A lot of what I follow comes from Kemetic Orthodox beliefs and my own personal UPG, though I greatly respect and cherish academic research, I just don't think I personally need to base my belief system on exactly how the Ancient Egyptians did things, though I understand and respect that a lot of other Kemetics are reconstructionist in their approach.

As far as magic goes, I've studied both chaos magic and hoodoo (read: I read a ton of websites and books), but at this point in time I'm not practicing, if only because I think most things I could achieve with magic are better served by me simply putting more effort into doing things the old fashioned way.

I was raised agnostic, and my mother is very supportive of my beliefs, something which I am very grateful for. I was never raised Christian, so I'm a bit ignorant of most things when it comes to that religion (it took me forever to realize the basic idea of the belief system).

I'll take a deep breath here and just say that I missed you guys, even if I didn't post a lot.

I'm not longer pursuing a career in the funeral industry, for one. Oh dear, this entire post is a mess. I'll still go by 'Zef', but I much prefer 'Acid' or 'Rica' here. I'm 23 now, and no longer KO, though I haven't yet made an official post on their forums leaving.

I don't consider myself to follow a 'shamanistic' view on things anymore. I've found Flamekeeping, and find it to be a wonderful way to look at spirituality without appropriating things. I've become...somewhat paranoid about cultural appropriation since that post, to the point where I'm barely okay with following Kemetic deities. The way I explained my history was also inaccurate, since at around that time I wasn't yet on certain medication, and so my perception of things was skewed.

My involvement with the thing that calls itself Coyote goes further back than I previously stated, and I've learned that said entity prefers to be a teacher as opposed to being worshiped.

My relationships with most of my gods are in shambles. I haven't actively practiced for a long time. I sometimes hear from them in dreams, but...I'm very, very lapsed. I'm trying to start again, from the beginning, and learn from academic sources as opposed to what I got from the KO forums. UPG can be great, but I need a foundation.

I'm also more of a pantheist now, though I still believe in different entities. I still feel the same way about magic that I did back then.

Awesome idea, by the way.


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Re: Remembering when you were a beginner...
« Reply #3 on: June 27, 2014, 05:13:22 pm »
Quote from: 8BitLady;151188

I guess what I'm asking is for you all to go back and find some old forum post, post it up here, and share how you've changed or grown on your spiritual path...

Here goes...

Quote from: Schuyler;80130
I am a Celtic Polytheist, but I also honor Bast (Egypt) and Ganesh (India).

Quote from: Schuyler;124976
I suppose I believe the gods to be different anthropomorphized aspects of whatever Divine force that is around us.

Nope and nope.  Animist, and that's it.  The only altar I have now is one to my house spirits.  No longer following a druidic path.

Quote from: Schuyler;83602
This very thing has been on my mind today. I am Korean-Japanese, but have almost no ties to either culture. I was born and raised in the U.S., and I have no experience with Japanese customs or the language; my knowledge of the Korean culture is from a Westerner's point of view and, while I can read it, my general grasp of the language is pitiful. I was bullied extensively when I was in Korean school because I was not Korean enough, so if my reply seems biased, it may be so.


If I were to go to Korea or Japan today, I would be seen as an American-- it would border on cultural appropriation if I expected to be welcomed in to a Shinto temple and involved in certain rituals, and it would be appropriation if I decided to call myself a Korean shaman. There is a degree of national pride that permeates these religions, and they would seem alien out of their natural environments. It wouldn't matter if I spoke flawless Japanese or Korean and performed the rituals perfectly; I would still be seen as an outsider, and that is something that one would have to respect.

This was a very significant post for me.  Since posting that, I have found work within the Korean-American community and spend most of my time in Koreatown.  I have begun to improve my grasp of the language and am now using it on a daily basis.  I was always afraid of being shunned for being so Americanized, but you know what? I've been warmly welcomed into the community.  I am now incorporating bits of the folk religion into my practice.  I feel right at home, and do not feel that I am appropriating.

Sincerity aside, here's an absolute gem. Do I get bonus points?:

Quote from: Schuyler;80131
It was twilight and I was sitting in a meadow, staring up at the magical pink sky, when a stag poked his head out of the brush before me. Being that it was a national park, I know that deer are very common, and I had seen them sporadically since arriving. But our eyes met, and we both just stood there for what seemed like an eternity. It felt like a dream, and I just knew.

I have no idea what I was on.  I don't talk, let alone write like this! So here's a big fat LOL :D:


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Re: Remembering when you were a beginner...
« Reply #4 on: June 28, 2014, 09:38:10 am »
Quote from: 8BitLady;151188
I guess what I'm asking is for you all to go back and find some old forum post, post it up here, and share how you've changed or grown on your spiritual path...

Haha...can I interest you in a whole thread? Take a look here. In it you can see the evidences of my cosmic clue-by-fours. "Hey! There's SOMETHING thwapping me! What is it?" Even in the last post, where I finally go "OK, I've got it figured out!" Nope, sweetie, keep going. Not that Sarasvati. Herself had to whack me a couple more times before I finally went, "Ohhh, BUDDHISM....that Sarasvati!"

It's funny, because in a way I'm back to square one. Sarasvati as she interacts with me is very, very much like Benten, and it was my awkward prayers to Benten for help with schoolwork that first got her attention. Still, I keep calling her Sarasvati, because she answers to that name.

It's funny, it's like I was stumbling around in a dark room when I first started, and then managed to trip over exactly what I was looking for. Sarasvati looks after me and cares for me in a very protective fashion that goes beyond my academic pursuits. I think of it as She chose me, but only because I was looking for someone like Her.
« Last Edit: June 28, 2014, 09:41:27 am by Redfaery »
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Re: Remembering when you were a beginner...
« Reply #5 on: July 01, 2014, 01:47:42 pm »
Quote from: 8BitLady;151188
I guess what I'm asking is for you all to go back and find some old forum post, post it up here, and share how you've changed or grown on your spiritual path...

God, here we go... Here's something from May 31th 2010. Be warned it's an info dump.

There's tons of different myths about Lucifer's fall. The most popular one I've heard of is the one about his pride. There's been a few regarding Lucifer questioning God, and a few where Lucifer asked God why a being of Fire had to bow down to a being of Clay/Dirt.
There are also a few myths that put Lucifer in a relatively positive perspective. In Gnosticism, Lucifer is generally seen as the Serpent, whom offered Adam and Eve the forbidden fruit and shown them that the creator was deceiving them. In Luciferianism, Lucifer is generally seen the same way. Which isn't too surprising, since Luciferianism and Gnosticism have similarities. Some Luciferians also believe that Lucifer left Heaven by his own accord.
In Stregheria, Lucifer is generally seen as a brave rebel whom opposed the tyrannical Yahweh. He is also sometimes described as a Sun God and connected with Apollo. Also, in the Gospel of the Witches, Lucifer is mentioned. He is said to be Diana's brother, and consort.

Lucifer is generally equated with Satan and is usually seen as a fallen angel. In any Bible, Lucifer is only mentioned in all the King James Versions, and the Darby version. Every other bible has "morning star" or "Shining star" in them. The verse that mentioned Lucifer is usually Isaiah 14:12, but that verse is not talking about the Lucifer, but rather a Babylon King.

Lucifer is also a minor Roman deity and the equivalent of Eosphorus/Heosphorus (or Phosphorus). In Roman mythology, Lucifer is the father of Ceyx, Daedalion and, occasionally, Hesperides.

Origen, an early Christian scholar, was the first to use Isaiah 14 passage (which was about a Babylon King) to support the devil doctrine. He also used the fall of the Prince of Tyre (Ezekiel 28) and used Job's reference to the Leviathan (Job 41:1 and 2)

You're probably slightly curious on how I view Lucifer..if you haven't looked at my previous thread. My view of him is different from the norm. It's influenced by Christian mythology, some of Greek mythology, Luciferians, Satanists and some Pagans. He's not Satan to me. I generally view Lucifer as a Promethean figure. Lucifer appears to be someone who would try to catch people in their hypocrisy and contradictions, and question their beliefs and dogma, and encourage others to question them. I also believe that the Trickster archetype would describe Lucifer quite well.
Generally, Lucifer is a a god of liberation, enlightenment, light, and knowledge. I also don't doubt his rebellious nature, nor do I doubt that he's prideful. I do doubt he's arrogant however,, that's my UPG on him.

Well, first of all... I actually have an updated version of that on my wordpress over here but it excludes some of it as well because I either a) forgot about it or b) I can't find anything about it now to double check on it and thus leave it out.

Now for what's changed, I don't really view Lucifer as someone who catches people in their hypocrisy or contradictions. Could he? Most definitely, but it's not a standard view for me. I also don't really apply the Trickster archetype to Lucifer anymore.

However, what has influenced my view has stayed mostly the same, though now research is also included into the mix and seeing him as deity of liberation, knowledge, light and enlightenment as sort of still the same. Not 100% sure about that, though.

Another thing that's different is that I was more or less an Eclectic Pagan when I wrote this and now I'm kind of a Luciferian (albeit kind of new at it), so that definitely impacts how my views shifted... and you know, dealing with the guy himself, since I'm kind of theistic... :whis:

As a final note: I still don't doubt he's prideful, just not arrogant. :p

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Re: Remembering when you were a beginner...
« Reply #6 on: July 01, 2014, 07:16:28 pm »
Quote from: 8BitLady;151188
I guess what I'm asking is for you all to go back and find some old forum post, post it up here, and share how you've changed or grown on your spiritual path...

This post actually inspired me to go and find my old deadjournal where I used to post my witchy shit. I wasn't new to paganism at that point (this is circa 2006) but it was a nice snapshot of what I was up to in my twenties.

I still work with the Morrigan, although not so much the Egyptians anymore. My hard-on for chaos magic has waned a bit, and my fledgling interest in hoodoo took off. Honestly, not a lot has changed in terms of my worldview. Mostly what's different is that I'm less high on myself and more chill. (I was kind of a bitch, wow.) But you wanted an old nugget of something, so I'll offer up this:

Saw a discussion over on the Cauldron about ready-made spell kits. The original poster stated that they were sort of fluffy, but then some other people pointed out that spell kits have been around a lot longer than Wicca. "Walk into a botanica," somebody said. Had to admit that's a good point, although my initial reaction was "yeah, spell kits are for losers."

Oh, young!me. See, ya'll were helping me learn even then.


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