male interested in pregnancy, childbirth, or midwifery goddesses, and their call

[particular]

So this is gonna be a weird post.

A lot of my spirituality is based on some sentimental spirituality, that is, a deity I can 'get along' with. I know that might not be how it works in real life paganism, but there it is my hope. So one of my fascinations is female reproductive stuff. In fact, if I could be a midwife, I would. I am too sickly, so it's not a thing I can do. I wish though. So I was wondering, since I feel like someone, something feminine, is calling me, who it might be, and if this idea of mine is actually happening, or if I'm making it up. I know sometimes deities no one might ever have an interest in call people, then the deity leaves. So do you think such a goddess would call me? Someone once told me my interest might mean someone is already calling me! Having a friend in my interest who is my patron deity would be very cool, someone I can imagine hanging with.

Also is there such a thing as a patron of fashion? I love when women wear converse chucks and always picture a goddess wearing them.

[Eevee]

So this is gonna be a weird post.

A lot of my spirituality is based on some sentimental spirituality, that is, a deity I can 'get along' with. I know that might not be how it works in real life paganism, but there it is my hope. So one of my fascinations is female reproductive stuff. In fact, if I could be a midwife, I would. I am too sickly, so it's not a thing I can do. I wish though. So I was wondering, since I feel like someone, something feminine, is calling me, who it might be, and if this idea of mine is actually happening, or if I'm making it up. I know sometimes deities no one might ever have an interest in call people, then the deity leaves. So do you think such a goddess would call me? Someone once told me my interest might mean someone is already calling me! Having a friend in my interest who is my patron deity would be very cool, someone I can imagine hanging with.

Also is there such a thing as a patron of fashion? I love when women wear converse chucks and always picture a goddess wearing them.

1) There's plenty of trans/gender queer people on here. I dont think people will advise certain gods are for certain genders. Many women work with masculine deities and vice versa.

2) Hence my "religion" section to your left, I'm not someone to talk to about gods. I'm just going by what I've seen on this forum. So my apologies. But... having a deity as a "hang out buddy" seems a bit ludicrous to me. That's not why people work with gods. I know that much. I suggest IRL (in real life) friends for that.

3) Patron of fashion? Idunno. The Egyptians and Greeks seemed to express their vanity. So research those pantheons. The Converse comment though? (I hope you're not taking the piss)

4) ....are you really Catholic?

[Sefiru]

But... having a deity as a "hang out buddy" seems a bit ludicrous to me. That's not why people work with gods.

Speak for yourself For plenty of people, including myself, a relationship with a deity is an end in itself; I'm not trying to get anything out of it. Likewise, sometimes gods approach humans without any demands beyond 'this is how to maintain a relationship with me'.

Sure, we call it "prayer" and "meditation" instead of "hanging out", but it's the same sort of thing.

[HarpingHawke]

4) ....are you really Catholic?

Is that really relevant *right now?*
 

For plenty of people, including myself, a relationship with a deity is an end in itself; I'm not trying to get anything out of it.

 
Additionally, networking is a very real (and valid, and helpful) objective sometimes. Depends on the kind of work you're doing, but.

OP, I suggest Googling "fertility goddesses" and other related terms, and coming back with a few. The articles you read might not be totally accurate, though, so what I would do is go to the Wikipedia articles about the goddesses you find, scroll to the sources at the bottom, and read those. Best of luck!

[Eevee]

Is that really relevant *right now?*

Yes, it is actually.
I was die-hard Catholic half my life. Even considering other gods is a massive, massive sin. It's in the bible, spoken of in the Vatican and embedded in the dogma.
(that's not just my opinion, that's actually how it is)
The day I started considering other beliefs, I renounced that faith as it would be redundant to do otherwise.

I'm very black and white about Catholicism, because well... it's a very black and white faith.

[Jenett]

Yes, it is actually.
I'm very black and white about Catholicism, because well... it's a very black and white faith.

Not as much as you're implying: for a 'universal' church, there's a tremendous amount of variation, not only country to country, but parish to parish many places.

While there are certainly some very clearly defined lines, the Catholic doctrines around acting from informed conscience, a variety of practices around the role of saints, Mary, and other religious figures than the Trinity, and the interpretation of doctrine in context of a particular time and place all lead to different experiences for a bunch of people.

I'm not saying that openly declaring you're polytheistic is going to go over well in most parishes - you're right, it probably won't.

But I am saying that the kind of exploration that particular asks about, while still identifying as Catholic, is a thing that happens pretty regularly. It's especially common if someone is beginning to explore the idea of other religions, but isn't sure yet if they want to or not, or what that would look like, or if there are ideas from other religions they could use (for example, in this case, particular might want to explore whether there are saints associated with childbirth or related topics that might be of interest.)

[Jenett]

Sure, we call it "prayer" and "meditation" instead of "hanging out", but it's the same sort of thing.

 
Besides this excellent point, this seems like a good time to link Darkhawk and Valentine's awesome list of "different ways people have described their relationships with deities" page. The ways people interact with their gods are so many and so varied, and every time I look at that list, I find something new to chew on.

[Jenett]

So do you think such a goddess would call me? Someone once told me my interest might mean someone is already calling me!

It's possible! It's also possible that's not what's going on. It's hard to tell just based on what you've said so far.

There are a couple of articles on my website that might help with figuring out how to explore different deity connections. Learning about a deity, relationships with deities, and deepening interactions with deities may all give you some ideas of things to try.

(I'd also note that even if a particular job is not physically an option, there's often other ways to support that idea or a particular deity's goals - for example, there are all sorts of organisations that help provide women's health care, both in the US and around the world, that help decrease infant mortality, improve health outcomes, etc.)
 
Historically speaking, one good search term is as Hawke said, fertility deities, or also deities associated with childbirth, but there are also plenty of deities of healing out there who might also be relevant.

[Eevee]

Not as much as you're implying: for a 'universal' church, there's a tremendous amount of variation, not only country to country, but parish to parish many places.

While there are certainly some very clearly defined lines, the Catholic doctrines around acting from informed conscience, a variety of practices around the role of saints, Mary, and other religious figures than the Trinity, and the interpretation of doctrine in context of a particular time and place all lead to different experiences for a bunch of people.

I'm not saying that openly declaring you're polytheistic is going to go over well in most parishes - you're right, it probably won't.

But I am saying that the kind of exploration that particular asks about, while still identifying as Catholic, is a thing that happens pretty regularly. It's especially common if someone is beginning to explore the idea of other religions, but isn't sure yet if they want to or not, or what that would look like, or if there are ideas from other religions they could use (for example, in this case, particular might want to explore whether there are saints associated with childbirth or related topics that might be of interest.)

Well, now that you mention it, the concept of worshiping saints is kinda bordering on polytheism. And I get the whole transition from Christianity to whatever-else - but still calling yourself a Christian because you dont know what else to call yourself.

But I have a very concrete vision of the church and its followers, it could also be my East European upbringing - added conservatism! *yay*

I still remember my own mother kicking me when she saw my first book on witchcraft, saying any deity besides God is Satan.
I remember fellow pagans telling me how their pastor slandered "heretics" mid-sermon, calling them soulless with no God and no life-meaning.
My Catholic god-father told my mum that I will go to hell when I die because I'm IVF conceived.
My friend's Catholic mum threw out all her book's on Norse history and mythology because it's the Devil.
All our family and family friends are Catholics, and talking to them is like walking on eggshells.
As a kid, I once questioned my mum if she loved God more than me.

Once this kind of shit is embedded in your mind, it's hard to look at something like "pagan Catholics" as a possibility. And if/when such a person exists, I imagine they feel extremely oppressed and conflicted.

[Jenett]

Once this kind of shit is embedded in your mind, it's hard to look at something like "pagan Catholics" as a possibility. And if/when such a person exists, I imagine they feel extremely oppressed and conflicted.

Mostly, I wanted to point out that your experience is decidedly not the experience of every Catholic (I thought about doing some further explanations, but I don't want to derail the topic of this thread further. I'm glad to discuss further on request.)

That said: there are lots of places and lots of people that have come to solutions about this.

I spent several years being an active Catholic while also actively engaging in things Catholicism disapproves of (in my case, a polyamorous relationship and well, sex before marriage and use of birth control) and also doing magical work. Eventually those points of friction (along with a number of others) made me start looking for other religious options.

But basically nowhere in that process did I feel deeply oppressed, or terribly conflicted.

It was a lot more "If I care about being able to share things in religious settings, having to work around talking about some parts of my life that matter to me is not an ideal solution: ok, so what might work better?" It took me about 4 years total before deciding that a form of Paganism was a good solution for me, and for 3 of those four years, I not only actively identified as Catholic, but was actively involved in my college Catholic community (both music ministry and in helping with other events.) I should note that my local clergy knew a chunk of what I was doing, for what it's worth, and considered it up to my individual conscience.

For some people, yeah, it can be very painful (especially if there's a lot of familial pressure - my mother still sort of wishes I'd consider being a nun, and we're not even from that kind of longtime Catholic family where that's a common thing) But for a lot of people it's like making any other kind of adult choice about what to do with their time and energy: there are some bumps and choices to make, and new things to learn, but mostly it's a joyful process, not a scary or traumatic one.