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Author Topic: Figuring out which deity/deities are calling to me  (Read 1034 times)

Wisp

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Figuring out which deity/deities are calling to me
« on: October 28, 2016, 11:19:41 am »
Sorry that this ended up turning into an essay.

For a while now, I've felt this spiritual presence following me, and over time I've ascertained that there's two major feelings I've gotten: one of them is very loving and picks me up while I'm down, and another feeling is almost like a teasing, slightly playful, feeling, but it feels a little more distant when I feel it. I have a strong feeling that whether there is one or two beings, there's most likely at least one deity involved.

My first vivid experience while meditating had me talking to a maiden goddess with red hair. She seemed playful and teasing, like I mentioned above, but there was no maliciousness to it. When I asked a friend at the time if she felt anything, she said she felt a very strong presence, like a mother hen was watching after her chick, which would be me.

My second experience I can't remember quite as well, but after I called for whoever was watching me, I saw a calmer goddess with brown or black hair intricately braided up, who seemed more loving, but at the time, a little distant.

After this, when I tried meditating, I knew for a fact I was projecting what I wanted to see and hear, and the experiences weren't as real. Because of that, and my terrible anxiety and depression at the time, I had to stop working with religion.

Fast forward to about a couple months ago, I tried meditating again, and felt an extremely warm presence who was very loving, take me through different scenes in nature, saying she missed me and wanted"I am water, I am the earth, I am the sky," and that she chose me as her child and wanted me to follow her. I said yes, I would. I still was dealing with some anxiety and depression that hindered me at the time, but just a couple weeks ago, I felt this strong message in my mind saying, "it's time for you to practice your religion," or something to that effect. Since then I've been studying quite a bit, especially from the Celtic pantheon, which I feel most drawn to.

I still feel like I can't tell whether it's one or two goddesses, but for a while now, I had felt some kind of drawing to The Morrigan and Brigid. Yesterday I went to my library, and picked up "Celtic Lore and Spellcraft of the Dark Goddess, Invoking the Morrigan," which I started a few months ago, but never finished it. I flipped open to the section talking about the Morrigan as a being an earth and river goddess, and how many Irish landmarks are named after her and her other aspects, like Anu, Badb and Macha. After reading that and a little further into her roles sovereignty and death, I felt this inexplicable feeling of everything making sense, and that perhaps The Morrigan was involved.

Now here I'm wondering whether my mind made something up, possibly on what I wanted to see, rather than what these two deities really did show me.

I went into a deep meditation, feeling a slight disconnect from my body. To rule out whether or not there was a spirit guide or ancestor or past life lover or something that was involved, I first called upon my spirit guide, which I've never done before. Instantly I felt this male presence saying he was here, and it was a feeling I've never felt before. So I ruled out a spirit guide being involved, and called out for a past life or ancestor, and felt this female presence come right away. She seemed a little distant, but I almost feel like she might've been involved at one point or another, but I'm not sure.

Then I called out to my goddess or goddesses, asking if there were two of them, if they could both clearly show themselves as separate beings. I felt this incredibly powerful feeling of being enveloped on all sides by blackness and black feathers, a somewhat distant yet still caring feeling, and along side that, I felt this incredible brightness like the sun, with more warmth. The being who I felt the blackness from did most of the talking, and said she wishes to forge a powerful weapon out of me, but could not do so without the help of the other goddess. When asking about their names, they didn't respond right away, but nearer to the time it ended, I heard them say "you will learn about the heart (hearth?) of Brigid, and you will learn the secrets of the Morrigan," and was told to look those up online. I didn't find too much online about the heart of Brigid, so I'm only guessing she said hearth, but I did read a few things hinting to the Morrigans secrets.

For me personally, I can be quite skeptical, and that vision last night almost seemed too convenient based on what I was kind of wanting to be the case, that my two deities are Brigid and the Morrigan. Do you guys think I could have made it up, or do you believe that it really could be both of them wanting to work together with me?

Wisp

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Re: Figuring out which deity/deities are calling to me
« Reply #1 on: October 29, 2016, 01:18:09 am »
Quote from: Wisp;198197


 
I feel I should probably rephrase the question. Does this sound like something The Morrigan or Brigit would do? If not, are there any other goddesses that come to mind?

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Re: Figuring out which deity/deities are calling to me
« Reply #2 on: October 29, 2016, 01:46:56 am »
Quote from: Wisp;198242
I feel I should probably rephrase the question. Does this sound like something The Morrigan or Brigit would do? If not, are there any other goddesses that come to mind?


This bit right here:
 
Quote from: Wisp;198197
The being who I felt the blackness from did most of the talking, and said she wishes to forge a powerful weapon out of me, but could not do so without the help of the other goddess.

 
Specifically sounds very much like the Morrigan and Brighid, to me. Brighid is a smith, among other things; in my work with the two of them Brighid forges me so I can be used by the Morrigan as her tool, and reforges me if I break (ie, heals me).

And it is not uncommon for the two of them to work together and "tag-team" people, so to speak. So yeah, definitely sounds like something the two of them would do.
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