Down the Hekate Rabbit Hole

[quarks]

It's been fairly recently that I came to terms with being a hard polytheist.  Being raised in a practicing Roman Catholic household caused me to put some of my religious searches in the purely intellectual box instead of a spiritual one.  Now I've been searching for something that I can agree with and practice.  

Hellenic paganism appeals to me for several reasons.  Hekate appeals to me as well.  However, I feel like the more I read about Hekate, the more I fall down the rabbit hole.  I realize that she has some importance in different pagan religions, and her connection to magic has me reading books about spiritual witchcraft.  I feel like I was going along in a certain direction and now I have been spun in circles and am starting at the beginning again.  I don't know if I feel drawn to Hekate because of Hellenismos or if I was simply drawn to Hekate.

I also feel like Thoth is just waiting and watching me.  I'm fumbling around trying to figure out how to honor this Goddess to whom I feel drawn and Thoth is just hanging out in the corner waiting for me to figure out how to fit him into the picture.  I don't want a purely ecletic path, but I feel like I have a bunch of square pegs with some round holes, some triangular holes, and them some filled in holes.  I know a lot of people go through similar struggles, I just needed to vent.  

The biggest problem is that I want to start some sort of worship, but I keep getting caught in my head about whether I have all of the right tools and whether I'm doing it the right way.  It also doesn't help that I have yet to find someone to talk with face to face.  I'm definitely an adult, but my family is still close, and keeping my paganism from them is hard.  Now I am rambling, so thank you for your time and any comments.

[RandallS]

Hellenic paganism appeals to me for several reasons.  Hekate appeals to me as well.  However, I feel like the more I read about Hekate, the more I fall down the rabbit hole.  I realize that she has some importance in different pagan religions, and her connection to magic has me reading books about spiritual witchcraft.

Hekate is hard because she is seen very differently in different religion.

In ancient Greece she was a younger woman (a Titan, actually) who was often depicted with three heads because she was a guardian of crossroads. She was not part of any triple goddess and certainly was not a crone.  There was some association with magic, but it was not central.

In ancient Rome, the associate with magic was stronger and she seems to have aged a bit, especially by late imperial times.

Modern Wicca/Witchcraft tends to see her as an old woman (and the magical association is very strong) who is the crone "aspect" of "the Goddess" (who has three major aspects: maiden/mother/crone).

Each version was/is worshiped in different ways (and may be different deities).

[quarks]

Each version was/is worshiped in different ways (and may be different deities).

 
That is an interesting point.  I see Hekate as a Titan, a young woman full of vigor.  I guess I could start with some of the more general forms of worship and then see where she directs me.  Thank you.