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Author Topic: Do love spells actually work? Can I get him back?  (Read 24091 times)

johnnyr860

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Do love spells actually work? Can I get him back?
« on: December 12, 2012, 06:16:13 pm »
Sorry this is long but I am posting about my situation. So hey I am new to this forum but I don't really consider myself Pagan I am rather new to this. Anyways I have to explain my situation to you. So I am gay and recently I had a situation with my boyfriend where we got into a fight and he dumped me over this.

What happened was I was at the bar with my friend last Friday night. We went out for a few drinks and she asked me about my boyfriend and wanted to see how the relationship was going and I told her the relationship was ok but could always be better. So she asked me why is it that your boyfriend barely talks to you? He rarely says I love you and from my observation he never calls you his baby anymore.

So I said oh well I still love him. But she said she wanted to test him to show me that he does not love me so she said give me your phone. I was like why? She said just trust me. So I give her my phone and she texts him "hey baby I was in a drunk driving accident and am at the hospital." He never texted me back. But when she texts him from her phone to say hi he texted back right away and said who is this?

So she said he don't love me. So in the morning we got into a fight because I said if I was really in an accident you would not be there by my side and he said that is not true I was busy so I said you text my friends back but not me? So he got mad because of all this and said you lied about the hospital stuff so I am dumping you and I told him I never lied that was my friend who texted you.

Anyways he was the love of my life and I loved him with everything I had and I still love him. It has been like 4 days since he dumped me. So my friend feeling very bad about this all told him it was her fault but he did not believe her. So she went to this friend of hers and spoke to her mom (her mom is Pagan) and she said to cast a love spell and my boyfriend would return to me only this time he would show me so much more love and I could have him back for good.

So my question is do love spells actually work? She said within the next 3 days if I do exactly what she said he will be guaranteed to return to me. He will either call me, text my phone, or show up at my doorstep to say he is sorry and wants me back.

Fireof9

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Re: Do love spells actually work? Can I get him back?
« Reply #1 on: December 12, 2012, 07:24:24 pm »
Quote from: johnnyr860;84440

So my question is do love spells actually work? She said within the next 3 days if I do exactly what she said he will be guaranteed to return to me. He will either call me, text my phone, or show up at my doorstep to say he is sorry and wants me back.

 
I can't tell you whether they work or not but I would like to point something out. If you need a magical work to make someone love you, would you not be better off finding someone else?
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stephyjh

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Do love spells actually work? Can I get him back?
« Reply #2 on: December 12, 2012, 07:52:21 pm »
Quote from: johnnyr860;84440
Sorry this is long but I am posting about my situation. So hey I am new to this forum but I don't really consider myself Pagan I am rather new to this. Anyways I have to explain my situation to you. So I am gay and recently I had a situation with my boyfriend where we got into a fight and he dumped me over this.

What happened was I was at the bar with my friend last Friday night. We went out for a few drinks and she asked me about my boyfriend and wanted to see how the relationship was going and I told her the relationship was ok but could always be better. So she asked me why is it that your boyfriend barely talks to you? He rarely says I love you and from my observation he never calls you his baby anymore.

So I said oh well I still love him. But she said she wanted to test him to show me that he does not love me so she said give me your phone. I was like why? She said just trust me. So I give her my phone and she texts him "hey baby I was in a drunk driving accident and am at the hospital." He never texted me back. But when she texts him from her phone to say hi he texted back right away and said who is this?

So she said he don't love me. So in the morning we got into a fight because I said if I was really in an accident you would not be there by my side and he said that is not true I was busy so I said you text my friends back but not me? So he got mad because of all this and said you lied about the hospital stuff so I am dumping you and I told him I never lied that was my friend who texted you.

Anyways he was the love of my life and I loved him with everything I had and I still love him. It has been like 4 days since he dumped me. So my friend feeling very bad about this all told him it was her fault but he did not believe her. So she went to this friend of hers and spoke to her mom (her mom is Pagan) and she said to cast a love spell and my boyfriend would return to me only this time he would show me so much more love and I could have him back for good.

So my question is do love spells actually work? She said within the next 3 days if I do exactly what she said he will be guaranteed to return to me. He will either call me, text my phone, or show up at my doorstep to say he is sorry and wants me back.

Ok, here's what I'm seeing. You didn't talk to him up front about how you were feeling, instead allowing your friend to drag you into drama. He seemed unconcerned at the idea you were in the hospital. Why in the world would either of you want that relationship back? Seems like right now you're still in the post-breakup state of not thinking clearly. Until you've had time to get some perspective, it would be unwise to do anything.

Furthermore, I think that casting a spell to make him love you again would be about the only thing you could do that was more manipulative and cold than the text your friend sent. It's a clear violation of his free will and his personal boundaries. If I found out a partner had done that without my consent, they would be out of my life for good.
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Re: Do love spells actually work? Can I get him back?
« Reply #3 on: December 12, 2012, 08:34:40 pm »
Quote from: johnnyr860;84440
So my question is do love spells actually work? She said within the next 3 days if I do exactly what she said he will be guaranteed to return to me. He will either call me, text my phone, or show up at my doorstep to say he is sorry and wants me back.


In general, love spells only work if they're general "help me find someone I find desirable" spells. If it's for attracting a specific person (or getting them back), then you're getting into really fuzzy ethic and free-will issues.

I agree with the others that your friend made a REALLY stupid move by sending a fake text, and the guy doesn't sound like someone you should take back anyway. You should wait a while to calm down.

And anyone trying to promise the exact result of a spell like it's a multiple-choice question seems very iffy on the matter of magic, especially with "love" spells.
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Annie Roonie

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Re: Do love spells actually work? Can I get him back?
« Reply #4 on: December 12, 2012, 08:45:45 pm »
Quote from: johnnyr860;84440
So my question is do love spells actually work? She said within the next 3 days if I do exactly what she said he will be guaranteed to return to me. He will either call me, text my phone, or show up at my doorstep to say he is sorry and wants me back.

I think they can work, but I don't think they always do. Words like "guarantee"are easy to toss around when there is nothing riding on it. Have you put some repayment price for not regaining the love of your life and would she be willing to pay that price if her spell doesn't work? I am wary of guarantees that don't mean anything.

Beyond that, getting this guy back doesn't change the guy. You'd still have what seems like and inconsiderate person on your hands and one that won't leave. Doesn't sound fun or like love. Changing a person actually means that you do not love them as they are, so if he is the love of your life and you want to change him, you're missing something about the concept of love.  Either way, changed or unchanged this doesn't bode well for love IMO.

And of course, if you slipped something into his drink to manipulate him, you would be guilty of a crime. If you respect magic or want it to work, then you'd think the same would apply.  Just because it's legal doesn't make it right.

I have a suggestion. Once you are more objective (people often do unwise things in the heat of passion), and if you are still in the mind to find a healthy love, go for a spell that would bring that into your life.  From what you've written, it seems like you're considering a spell that could keep an unhealthy relationship in your life. Which kind of baffles me.
« Last Edit: December 12, 2012, 08:47:13 pm by Annie Roonie »

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Re: Do love spells actually work? Can I get him back?
« Reply #5 on: December 12, 2012, 08:51:57 pm »
Quote from: johnnyr860;84440


So my question is do love spells actually work? She said within the next 3 days if I do exactly what she said he will be guaranteed to return to me. He will either call me, text my phone, or show up at my doorstep to say he is sorry and wants me back.

 
Ooooh....i would say yes, they work, but not all the time and they aren't easy. Plus, as everyone has pointed out, very ethically debatable. I personally think that casting a love spell on someone who doesn't love you is manipulation, and very controlling and selfish, and i feel that part of my responsibility as a pagan is to look out for others and treat everyone with respect and not to use my power to gain control over a person. Honestly, if i were you, i would steer well clear.

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Re: Do love spells actually work? Can I get him back?
« Reply #6 on: December 12, 2012, 09:39:42 pm »
Quote from: stephyjh;84467
Ok, here's what I'm seeing. You didn't talk to him up front about how you were feeling, instead allowing your friend to drag you into drama. He seemed unconcerned at the idea you were in the hospital. Why in the world would either of you want that relationship back?
Exactly.

Not that I'm rubbing in how unethical the mundane action is from some holier-than-thou position. I'm not. (In a holier-than-thou position, that is. I might be rubbing it in. Sorry.)

Just.

Think about how this mirrors your energetic dynamic. You, OP, have shown that you cannot direct your Will and energy... well, directly! And, your ex has shown that he is very, very well shielded and not at all receptive to your energy. I don't think the spell is going to work. Especially now, when thoughts and emotions can make the air too turbulent for your intent to take flight, so to speak. (Also that you've voiced the situation to us, and we're all adding energies to the statement that you two are a bad match.)

I agree, let it be until things settle down and the air clears, and then let it be for much longer, and then... some missing piece might very well come clear. That you never needed him after all, or (could surprise me!) that you miss him and he misses you and what happened was petty... or, that he was passive-aggressively punishing you for a slight that you were left unaware of, he was cheating on you with his job, he has unresolved anger towards his alcoholic parents and himself as a non-alcoholic codependent enabler and anyone who is damaged when drunk "had it coming" and that was no attitude to bring to his beloved in the hospital so he conflictedly kept it to himself... it could be anything, but I just get the sense that the real obstacles (with their own energetic influences) are not gone. The first of which is: you didn't really know him, which was why you were testing him. So, the spell isn't going to specifically target him, at least not at the level you need.

Your friend might mean well, but the fact that you put something so delicate in her hands and it blew up like that? Might be a separate interpersonal issue that you'd only be compounding by doing what she says without question...again. Well, okay, you had questions, and I just answered that from every angle, on every level, it won't work nor should it. (Maybe your friend's just using the spell to buy time to non-magickally nag your ex to talk to you?)

But... I also say, give it a go. At the very least, going through the motions of a ritual could be an acceptance/externalization of this phase of the breakup. Give it three days, and if I'm right (I might not be), you can then move on to the disappointment-acceptance phase and make a clean break.

At the very most, it'll send out signals that you're ready to be loved by somebody who is ready to love. (Or by someone who isn't, in exactly the same way that your ex wasn't. Magic is tricky.)
« Last Edit: December 12, 2012, 09:43:18 pm by Faemon »
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Re: Do love spells actually work? Can I get him back?
« Reply #7 on: December 13, 2012, 12:20:24 am »
Quote from: johnnyr860;84440
Sorry this is long but I am posting about my situation. So hey I am new to this forum but I don't really consider myself Pagan I am rather new to this. Anyways I have to explain my situation to you. So I am gay and recently I had a situation with my boyfriend where we got into a fight and he dumped me over this.

What happened was I was at the bar with my friend last Friday night. We went out for a few drinks and she asked me about my boyfriend and wanted to see how the relationship was going and I told her the relationship was ok but could always be better. So she asked me why is it that your boyfriend barely talks to you? He rarely says I love you and from my observation he never calls you his baby anymore.

So I said oh well I still love him. But she said she wanted to test him to show me that he does not love me so she said give me your phone. I was like why? She said just trust me. So I give her my phone and she texts him "hey baby I was in a drunk driving accident and am at the hospital." He never texted me back. But when she texts him from her phone to say hi he texted back right away and said who is this?

So she said he don't love me. So in the morning we got into a fight because I said if I was really in an accident you would not be there by my side and he said that is not true I was busy so I said you text my friends back but not me? So he got mad because of all this and said you lied about the hospital stuff so I am dumping you and I told him I never lied that was my friend who texted you.

Anyways he was the love of my life and I loved him with everything I had and I still love him. It has been like 4 days since he dumped me. So my friend feeling very bad about this all told him it was her fault but he did not believe her. So she went to this friend of hers and spoke to her mom (her mom is Pagan) and she said to cast a love spell and my boyfriend would return to me only this time he would show me so much more love and I could have him back for good.

So my question is do love spells actually work? She said within the next 3 days if I do exactly what she said he will be guaranteed to return to me. He will either call me, text my phone, or show up at my doorstep to say he is sorry and wants me back.

 
My personal opinion is love spells don't actually work, you should be talking to your boyfriend instead of trying this. But I know that wearing rose quartz in a pouch or on a pendant can help enhance love that is already there. I hope this helps you and good luck with your boyfriend! I know how hard it can be sometimes.

johnnyr860

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Re: Do love spells actually work? Can I get him back?
« Reply #8 on: December 13, 2012, 11:19:08 am »
Quote from: NorthernangelNimya;84503
My personal opinion is love spells don't actually work, you should be talking to your boyfriend instead of trying this. But I know that wearing rose quartz in a pouch or on a pendant can help enhance love that is already there. I hope this helps you and good luck with your boyfriend! I know how hard it can be sometimes.


So here is the rest of this story. Most of you who say this stuff does not work well my friend (the one who sent my boyfriend the texts) says otherwise. I have known her for years and so she is with her current boyfriend and in the love of her life. However things were not always this way.

See her boyfriend used to be very abusive to her in the way he treated her and talked to her. He used to put her down and say she was not good looking. He used to say that he could find someone better then her and he would always cuss her out. When she called him or texted him he barely responded or said I love you. They rarely had a life together. She would go to his house and he was never there rarely.

If there was an award for worst couple of the year or for the couple that argues the most it would have been given to them. The dude cheated on her like 3x although she only knows about it 1x till I told her I heard about the other 2x he cheated and she was broken. So one day he dumped her and called her all sorts of offensive names for women. I was like wow what a tool you can find someone better.

She did not want anyone else but him. So she went to her friends mom who is Pagan and explained the situation and how he dumped her. She said ok I have a love spell. Go out and buy a red candle. I will explain exactly what you need to do and in just 3 days he will be begging you to come back saying he is sorry and you should see he treats you like a complete princess.

She laughed and told the lady you must be crazy this stuff is so stupid it won't work and when 3 days goes by and nothing happens I will laugh some more at how stupid your sounding right now. So this lady (her friends mom) said you got nothing to loose because I am not charging you. I only asked you to buy a red candle which is fairly cheap. So she did. I kid you not in EXACTLY 3 days her boyfriend came begging for her back saying he was a fool for what he said and that he did not mean it and that he hopes she would give him another chance.

To this very day they have been together for over a year and a half since the spell and their relationship has been working fantastic no more arguments and they are very much in love with each other. Keep in mind this is my friend who said this is the stupidest idea ever this wont work only for her to try it and 3 days later boom her boyfriend shows up at her door saying he was sorry. Instead of cussing her out he treated her like a complete princess and to this day still does.

This lady was saying she felt like going on a date with a person she fell in love with back when she was 16 and she had lost contact with them. She did the spell and 3 days later this person found her and added her on facebook and they went on a date just like that. She asked to find true love and within 4 months had gotten married to someone she had met only a week after she cast the spell and now she has been married for over 20 years to the same guy.

You say the love spell does not work (I think for some it may be harder then for others to get to work) but from what I have been seeing and hearing all over the place this stuff works even if it takes longer then others for it to work. As for me and my now ex I have my reasons why I still want to be with him.

stephyjh

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Do love spells actually work? Can I get him back?
« Reply #9 on: December 13, 2012, 12:47:43 pm »
Quote from: johnnyr860;84546
So here is the rest of this story. Most of you who say this stuff does not work well my friend (the one who sent my boyfriend the texts) says otherwise. I have known her for years and so she is with her current boyfriend and in the love of her life. However things were not always this way.

See her boyfriend used to be very abusive to her in the way he treated her and talked to her. He used to put her down and say she was not good looking. He used to say that he could find someone better then her and he would always cuss her out. When she called him or texted him he barely responded or said I love you. They rarely had a life together. She would go to his house and he was never there rarely.

If there was an award for worst couple of the year or for the couple that argues the most it would have been given to them. The dude cheated on her like 3x although she only knows about it 1x till I told her I heard about the other 2x he cheated and she was broken. So one day he dumped her and called her all sorts of offensive names for women. I was like wow what a tool you can find someone better.

She did not want anyone else but him. So she went to her friends mom who is Pagan and explained the situation and how he dumped her. She said ok I have a love spell. Go out and buy a red candle. I will explain exactly what you need to do and in just 3 days he will be begging you to come back saying he is sorry and you should see he treats you like a complete princess.

She laughed and told the lady you must be crazy this stuff is so stupid it won't work and when 3 days goes by and nothing happens I will laugh some more at how stupid your sounding right now. So this lady (her friends mom) said you got nothing to loose because I am not charging you. I only asked you to buy a red candle which is fairly cheap. So she did. I kid you not in EXACTLY 3 days her boyfriend came begging for her back saying he was a fool for what he said and that he did not mean it and that he hopes she would give him another chance.

To this very day they have been together for over a year and a half since the spell and their relationship has been working fantastic no more arguments and they are very much in love with each other. Keep in mind this is my friend who said this is the stupidest idea ever this wont work only for her to try it and 3 days later boom her boyfriend shows up at her door saying he was sorry. Instead of cussing her out he treated her like a complete princess and to this day still does.

This lady was saying she felt like going on a date with a person she fell in love with back when she was 16 and she had lost contact with them. She did the spell and 3 days later this person found her and added her on facebook and they went on a date just like that. She asked to find true love and within 4 months had gotten married to someone she had met only a week after she cast the spell and now she has been married for over 20 years to the same guy.

You say the love spell does not work (I think for some it may be harder then for others to get to work) but from what I have been seeing and hearing all over the place this stuff works even if it takes longer then others for it to work. As for me and my now ex I have my reasons why I still want to be with him.

And then there are the ethical issues. What kind of person MAKES another person love them when it's been clearly communicated that they don't want to? Why, if you claim to love him, would you violate him that way? What gives you that right?
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Re: Do love spells actually work? Can I get him back?
« Reply #10 on: December 13, 2012, 01:21:15 pm »
Quote from: johnnyr860;84440
So my question is do love spells actually work?

 
Whether or not the magic works is genuinely irrelevant.  (And is generally a vastly more complicated question than can be answered with a 'yes' or a 'no', in any case.)

The magic you use defines who you are and who you wish to become.  In order to effectively use a form of magic you must be the sort of person who would use that methodology to achieve that end.

So, you are setting forth an ambition to use reputedly irresistible means to underhandedly trick your way back into someone's romantic/sexual graces despite their explicit lack of consent.  That is who you have declared you want to become, and that is what your use of magic is bent towards.

Good luck with that, then.
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Re: Do love spells actually work? Can I get him back?
« Reply #11 on: December 13, 2012, 02:27:11 pm »
Quote from: stephyjh;84555
And then there are the ethical issues. What kind of person MAKES another person love them when it's been clearly communicated that they don't want to? Why, if you claim to love him, would you violate him that way? What gives you that right?

 

Who said I violated anyone? He said he still loves me but that the way things ended he is not sure if this relationship could ever be fixed but he did say that he still has feelings for me he just needs space and time to think this through. The spell is being used to get him to open up about his feelings and see that he still has feelings for me even though he says he does but has his doubts. I am not forcing anyone to do anything.

The wish is simple. The wish is to get him to realize that he is still in love with me so we can try to work this out together. I would never force someone against their will to come back to me. I just have hope and belief that we can work this out together because he said he still loves me he is just not saying anything else to me at the moment because he needs his break and his space which I have respected and since he said this I have not sent him any messages or anything.

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Re: Do love spells actually work? Can I get him back?
« Reply #12 on: December 13, 2012, 02:30:39 pm »
Quote from: Darkhawk;84559
Whether or not the magic works is genuinely irrelevant.  (And is generally a vastly more complicated question than can be answered with a 'yes' or a 'no', in any case.)

The magic you use defines who you are and who you wish to become.  In order to effectively use a form of magic you must be the sort of person who would use that methodology to achieve that end.

So, you are setting forth an ambition to use reputedly irresistible means to underhandedly trick your way back into someone's romantic/sexual graces despite their explicit lack of consent.  That is who you have declared you want to become, and that is what your use of magic is bent towards.

Good luck with that, then.

 

Please refer to the comment I just posted right before this I explain in detail what I am trying to get out of this spell and I tell why I am even trying it in the first place. Not to force him to come back to me but to get him to realize the feelings he says that he still has but is unsure about I just want the spell to help him realize those feelings are still there even if he wants to deny them. I am not asking him to come back to me or forcing him with a spell that will make him come back to me. I am asking for us to be able to just talk and see if we can work this out. I am not forcing anyone to be my boyfriend again if he does not want to be.

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Re: Do love spells actually work? Can I get him back?
« Reply #13 on: December 13, 2012, 02:42:29 pm »
Quote from: johnnyr860;84570
Not to force him to come back to me but to get him to realize the feelings he says that he still has but is unsure about I just want the spell to help him realize those feelings are still there even if he wants to deny them.

 
Dude, if he doesn't realize those feelings on his own, your magic spell is trying to get him to do something that wouldn't naturally happen. That's coercion. And to a lot of magic-users on this board, that's bad. You can seriously argue all you want, but if he doesn't want to be with you, or isn't in a place to recognize that, why not be a decent person and let him go? Don't go around messing with people's mental processes just cause you want a boyfriend. I don't care if you really really care about him and he's the love of your life and you'll never find another person like him. None of those things trumps another person's sovereignty - which you're messing with. Don't.
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Re: Do love spells actually work? Can I get him back?
« Reply #14 on: December 13, 2012, 03:04:01 pm »
Quote from: johnnyr860;84567
Who said I violated anyone?


You did.

Quote from: johnnyr860;84567
He said he still loves me but that the way things ended he is not sure if this relationship could ever be fixed but he did say that he still has feelings for me he just needs space and time to think this through. The spell is being used to get him to open up about his feelings and see that he still has feelings for me even though he says he does but has his doubts.


(bolding mine)

So, he says he needs time and space, and you decide to do a spell to make him see he still loves you, even though he's said he has his doubts.

Which means a) you can't take his words at face value or respect his own feelings on the issue, b) you believe your need to have him in your life trumps his right to personal sovereignty, and c) you're not willing to actually give him time and space.

You know, time and space? They refer to psychic and magical shit too. If my boyfriend says he needs space from me, that means I give him physical and mental space. I don't do spells for him, I don't do long-distance reiki on him, I don't send any energy his way because if I do send energy his way, I'm not giving him space.

So your ex wants time and space? Then friggin give it to him.


Quote from: johnnyr860;84567
I just have hope and belief that we can work this out together because he said he still loves me he is just not saying anything else to me at the moment because he needs his break and his space which I have respected and since he said this I have not sent him any messages or anything.

 
If you truly have hope and belief that you can work through this, then give him his gorram space.
Pray drunk. Hex sober.
Everyday Magic | Morag's Spindle
"The most powerful god at any given moment is the one who can solve the moment's problem."
-Darkhawk

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