Dia de los Muertos

[Nyktipolos]

I think it would be disrespectful to yourself if you weren't true to yourself.

Whatever makes you happy.

You are embracing someone's traditions and making them your own, and I think that it is honorable.

I believe it's the excuse that many appropriation defenders/apologists use that is similar to yours that often causes problems. "Well, we're just using it because it betters ourselves! You should feel honoured!" When most often it's bits and pieces ripped from Indigenous cultures without respect to the culture it comes from, I don't see how that's respectful at all. And when people point this out, they become incredibly defensive (and oftentimes insulting) when they're told these things are not for people to just take to make others feel better. (I'm not saying you or the OP are saying or doing this, but there are those that do. And for some reason see no issue with it. Usually due to privilege.)

In which case, I think, the focus should not be on whether it helps someone not of that culture, or "makes them true to themselves", but rather whether it's respectful to the culture these elements are being taken from. Oftentimes I think this is forgotten in pagan communities because we're often working with information and cultures that no longer exist in the forms we study or pull from, that we then have this same attitude towards cultures that still exist and are living today. And in the end, it's up to these Indigenous cultures to decide whether or not it's appropriate for outsiders to use these things, because it's their culture.

[PerditaPickle]

I find Dia de los Muertos the one I keep coming back to...

I think, the focus should not be on whether it helps someone not of that culture, or "makes them true to themselves", but rather whether it's respectful to the culture these elements are being taken from.

So I see that the last post on this old thread was somewhat dubious of how ethical it necessarily is to incorporate bits of other cultures into one's practices as a general rule.  But, like the OP, I am finding myself compelled this year to look at doing something Día de los Muertos related this coming 1 November.  I have been thinking about posting this for some opinions ever since joining this site a month or so ago (but then it took ages to browse through all the existing posts to find the best place to put this and whether something similar had already been asked, & of course I ended up reading through all of the existing threads).

I am intending to keep whatever I do fairly simple - remembering those I've lost, maybe conveying some specific messages to those I've lost most recently or things I should've said to some of those who died unexpectedly and so on, lighting a candle.  Not much more than that, I shouldn't think.  But what I can't decide is whether to do this at home or outdoors somewhere.  There is an old cemetery in my city which is actually a place in which I've always felt really calm and at peace.  Although this is not a cemetery where any of my relatives are actually laid to rest, it just seems like it might be an appropriate place to try and establish the right mindset since I feel so comfortable there.  But unfortunately it is now the other side of the city from where I live so going there would involve some preparation and travel time.  However to do this at home would run a very high risk of interruption by my husband, the phone, the neighbours etc, having to run around after one or both cats and so on.  So even as I write this I am leaning towards going on an outing and spending some time in the cemetery I wrote of.  I have even already got Monday 2 November off work.  If I do do it this way, I will do the candle lighting before leaving home and again upon returning home.

Does this sound reasonable to people?  Hopefully not disrespectful, if carried out in as subtle and unassuming a way as possible?  Does anyone have any other ideas I might not already have thought of?

Thank you very much in advance.

[Sisu]

Does this sound reasonable to people?  Hopefully not disrespectful, if carried out in as subtle and unassuming a way as possible?  Does anyone have any other ideas I might not already have thought of?

Thank you very much in advance.

 
This sounds reasonable to me. As a side note, I lived in Mexico for a while and it's interesting how Dia de los Muertos has gotten somewhat wrapped into Halloween, with Halloween being directed towards children with their cute costumes and Dia de los Muertos being more focused on adults and the partying in cemeteries. I think that as long as you don't do the typical American Cinco de Mayo = Mexican Independence Day (nope! that's September 16th!) so-we're-going-to-get-face-wasted bullshit, then you're probably in safe territory.

Even just being aware that cultural appropriation is a possible issue is a huge step in the right direction and you probably have a decent instinct for avoiding it.

[RandallS]

This sounds reasonable to me. As a side note, I lived in Mexico for a while and it's interesting how Dia de los Muertos has gotten somewhat wrapped into Halloween, with Halloween being directed towards children with their cute costumes and Dia de los Muertos being more focused on adults and the partying in cemeteries.

That's what it was like when I lived it San Antonio: Halloween was for children, while Dia de los Muertos was more focused on adults and families.

[MayaPapaya]

So, yeah...is it disrespectful?

I'm Mexican, and I can tell you that you're going about it the right way. So thank you for doing your research and approaching the practices of Dia de los Muertos with respect. I'm also familiar with other pagan practices that honor the ancestors with altars and food, so it's not unique to our culture.

That said, there are certain things done in the name of Dia de los Muertos that somewhat rub me the wrong way. I won't go into that, since that was not your question.

So, yes. Keep on

[PerditaPickle]

This sounds reasonable to me.

 

I can tell you that you're going about it the right way.

Thank you