Choosing a date to venerate missing ancestor

[beith]

First, a touch of background:

As I continue to develop my path, I know I'd like to make ancestor veneration an important part of it.  I've recently set up a shrine for my ancestors and give a daily water libation.  I also have a candle that I plan to light on important dates.  Mostly, but not entirely, birth/death dates.

I'm setting up a calendar for the candle lighting.  I've included my ancestors through my set of great-great grandparents, and also various other important ancestors who I've identified with (those who moved to the US, Canada, or Michigan, overcame poverty to better their families, soldiers, etc.).  For all these ancestors I have a birth, death, immigration, or other important date to add to my calendar except for one, which leads to my question.

Between 1852 and 1854, my great great great grandfather left his home in search of help for an illness.  According to the family oral history, they never heard from him again and didn't know if he ever reached his destination.  I have been unsuccessful in finding any information on him except a possible 1850 census record.  This means I have no birth, death, or marriage day for him, no date on his immigration from Germany, or the date on which he left his family seeking help.

So my question is...does anyone have any thoughts on how I might develop a date for honoring him?  Somehow incorporating numbers from his approximate birth year, disappearance year, dates important to his wife or children, something else?  Any dates from any tradition that are tied to ancestors or those who are missing?  I'd like to pick a date that is meaningful in some way if possible, so I'd appreciate any ideas or opinions anyone has to offer.

[NiDara]

First, a touch of background:

As I continue to develop my path, I know I'd like to make ancestor veneration an important part of it.  I've recently set up a shrine for my ancestors and give a daily water libation.  I also have a candle that I plan to light on important dates.  Mostly, but not entirely, birth/death dates.

I'm setting up a calendar for the candle lighting.  I've included my ancestors through my set of great-great grandparents, and also various other important ancestors who I've identified with (those who moved to the US, Canada, or Michigan, overcame poverty to better their families, soldiers, etc.).  For all these ancestors I have a birth, death, immigration, or other important date to add to my calendar except for one, which leads to my question.

Between 1852 and 1854, my great great great grandfather left his home in search of help for an illness.  According to the family oral history, they never heard from him again and didn't know if he ever reached his destination.  I have been unsuccessful in finding any information on him except a possible 1850 census record.  This means I have no birth, death, or marriage day for him, no date on his immigration from Germany, or the date on which he left his family seeking help.

So my question is...does anyone have any thoughts on how I might develop a date for honoring him?  Somehow incorporating numbers from his approximate birth year, disappearance year, dates important to his wife or children, something else?  Any dates from any tradition that are tied to ancestors or those who are missing?  I'd like to pick a date that is meaningful in some way if possible, so I'd appreciate any ideas or opinions anyone has to offer.

I noticed that you consider yourself to be on a Neo-druidic path. Have you thought of simply honoring him on Samhain, since it's typically a time of honoring ancestors you identify with? You have ancestors going back thousands of years, who have neither documents recording life events or even oral lore handed down through your family. They're your ancestors as well. They fall in the same sort of category as your great great great grandfather.

If that holiday doesn't seem appropriate to you, create a symbolic holiday where you honor your grandfather specifically. Whatever dates you have about him, find the one that has the strongest ties to who you think he was as a person, or what you want to remember about him. It's your path, so there isn't any right or wrong answer.

[RandallS]

For all these ancestors I have a birth, death, immigration, or other important date to add to my calendar except for one, which leads to my question.

Actually, you have may more ancestors (going back thousands of years) that you will never be able to find such information on. If you wish to honor such ancestors, you will need to simply select a day and honor them then. Perhaps your religion has a day that would be appropriate -- if not, perhaps your family history does.  If not, there's no reason you cannot select a day and make it your own "unknown ancestors day."

[odonata]

Have you thought of simply honoring him on Samhain...

 
I would agree with this 100% if it was my ancestors.

Have you thought about Obon?

[beith]

I noticed that you consider yourself to be on a Neo-druidic path. Have you thought of simply honoring him on Samhain, since it's typically a time of honoring ancestors you identify with? You have ancestors going back thousands of years, who have neither documents recording life events or even oral lore handed down through your family. They're your ancestors as well. They fall in the same sort of category as your great great great grandfather.

If that holiday doesn't seem appropriate to you, create a symbolic holiday where you honor your grandfather specifically. Whatever dates you have about him, find the one that has the strongest ties to who you think he was as a person, or what you want to remember about him. It's your path, so there isn't any right or wrong answer.

Thank you for taking the time to reply.  On Samhain I do honor all my ancestors, but it serves a different purpose to me (honoring all ancestors as a group) than the calendar I'm developing, which is more of an individual gesture of thanks.  To me, my great-great-great grandfather does not fall in the same category as the thousands (millions?) of unknown ancestors.  I know his name and some of his story, and the way it unfolded and the connection I have to his story through my family's oral stories puts him in a different place than the many other names/dates I run across in genealogy work (or the many unknown ancestors).  That's why I'd like to take a moment to light a candle and acknowledge him as an individual, and why I've chosen a handful of other ancestors to honor in this individual way.  Through my genealogy research, their stories have touched and influenced me uniquely.

I have no dates associated with him though, just a couple approximate years, hence my original question about date-smithing into a day/month.
 

Actually, you have may more ancestors (going back thousands of years) that you will never be able to find such information on. If you wish to honor such ancestors, you will need to simply select a day and honor them then. Perhaps your religion has a day that would be appropriate -- if not, perhaps your family history does.  If not, there's no reason you cannot select a day and make it your own "unknown ancestors day."

I do use Samhain as my known and unknown, all ancestors day.  I know there are thousands of ancestors I'll never find (the dreaded brick wall), but I am heavily involved in researching my genealogy so I do have a lot of information and feel connected to many of the stories I research.  That is why I was moved to develop a calendar for honoring several of these ancestors individually, though I would never be able to honor separately all the ancestors I do know by name.

Because this man, my 3 greats grandfather, is not entirely unknown to me (I know his name and have a faint sense of his movements) and his particular story has touched me (but has only approximate years, no days or months), that is why I was interested if anyone had any ideas on developing such an otherwise randomly-selected day.  For example, choosing May 24 because he disappeared between 1852 and 1854 (fifth decade -> fifth month, and combine the 2nd and 4th year to make the number 24).  I know it's not a huge deal, but attaching any meaning to the date besides "it looked good" would be nice to have.
 

I would agree with this 100% if it was my ancestors.

Have you thought about Obon?

 
I've never heard of Obon before but I'll look into it, thank you.

[Jenett]

Because this man, my 3 greats grandfather, is not entirely unknown to me (I know his name and have a faint sense of his movements) and his particular story has touched me (but has only approximate years, no days or months), that is why I was interested if anyone had any ideas on developing such an otherwise randomly-selected day.  For example, choosing May 24 because he disappeared between 1852 and 1854 (fifth decade -> fifth month, and combine the 2nd and 4th year to make the number 24).  I know it's not a huge deal, but attaching any meaning to the date besides "it looked good" would be nice to have.

One thought for a date creation - was he Christian (or particularly Catholic?) And if so, is there a suitable saint's day. The common ones are the birth day, the name taken at confirmation (which you probably don't know), a patron of profession, a patron of the town or village he came from/lived in, or - if you know any details about the disease, a patron saint associated with that disease.

One of those is likely to give you a workable date, if the method in general seems to work for you, and even if your relative would have found saints days inappropriate, looking at the options might turn up something that would be fine - say a connection to a particular bit of folklore, etc.

[beith]

One thought for a date creation - was he Christian (or particularly Catholic?) And if so, is there a suitable saint's day. The common ones are the birth day, the name taken at confirmation (which you probably don't know), a patron of profession, a patron of the town or village he came from/lived in, or - if you know any details about the disease, a patron saint associated with that disease.

One of those is likely to give you a workable date, if the method in general seems to work for you, and even if your relative would have found saints days inappropriate, looking at the options might turn up something that would be fine - say a connection to a particular bit of folklore, etc.

 
I really like this idea, thank you!  I highly doubt he was Catholic.  I have no proof, but being from Germany at that time he was likely Lutheran (and this was the religion of that side of the family from what I know).  His descendents were Christian.

That said, I often say that Lutherans are Catholic-lite, so it may not be too inappropriate.  Most of the particulars you mentioned I don't know, but the census is likely to have an occupation (farmer, if I had to guess without looking), and I did find a Saint for missing things (and possibly people, I need to do more research), so I think I can get a personally meaningful date this way.

[Ghostlight]

I really like this idea, thank you!  I highly doubt he was Catholic.  I have no proof, but being from Germany at that time he was likely Lutheran (and this was the religion of that side of the family from what I know).  His descendents were Christian.

In this case you could also consider Totensonntag (Sunday of the Dead). On this day German Lutherans commemorate the dead. It was created in the early 19th century, so if he lived in a Lutheran area at the time he probably celebrated it too.

Totensonntag takes place on the Sunday before “Advent” – the period leading up to Christmas. There are four Advent Sundays, the fourth one being the Sunday before Christmas. So for example, this year Christmas will be on a Thursday, which gives the following date:

- 4. Advent: 21 Dec 2014
- 3. Advent: 14 Dec 2014
- 2. Advent: 7 Dec 2014
- 1. Advent: 30 Nov 2014
- Totensonntag: 23 Nov 2014

[Aiwelin]

In this case you could also consider Totensonntag (Sunday of the Dead). On this day German Lutherans commemorate the dead. It was created in the early 19th century, so if he lived in a Lutheran area at the time he probably celebrated it too.

Totensonntag takes place on the Sunday before “Advent” – the period leading up to Christmas. There are four Advent Sundays, the fourth one being the Sunday before Christmas. So for example, this year Christmas will be on a Thursday, which gives the following date:

- 4. Advent: 21 Dec 2014
- 3. Advent: 14 Dec 2014
- 2. Advent: 7 Dec 2014
- 1. Advent: 30 Nov 2014
- Totensonntag: 23 Nov 2014

 
Thank you for posting this!  I'd never heard of Totensonntag before, but I think I'd like to work it into my own ancestor honoring rites; at least for the German side.

[beith]

In this case you could also consider Totensonntag (Sunday of the Dead). On this day German Lutherans commemorate the dead. It was created in the early 19th century, so if he lived in a Lutheran area at the time he probably celebrated it too.

 
This is great information, thank you!  I have never heard of this day before...I guess it didn't come across the Atlantic with my ancestors or was otherwise discontinued.  Or perhaps became merged with All Saints Day?

[veggiewolf]

In this case you could also consider Totensonntag (Sunday of the Dead). On this day German Lutherans commemorate the dead. It was created in the early 19th century, so if he lived in a Lutheran area at the time he probably celebrated it too.

Totensonntag takes place on the Sunday before “Advent” – the period leading up to Christmas. There are four Advent Sundays, the fourth one being the Sunday before Christmas. So for example, this year Christmas will be on a Thursday, which gives the following date:

- 4. Advent: 21 Dec 2014
- 3. Advent: 14 Dec 2014
- 2. Advent: 7 Dec 2014
- 1. Advent: 30 Nov 2014
- Totensonntag: 23 Nov 2014

This is fantastic info - the bulk of the family on my paternal grandmother's side were German Lutheran.