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Author Topic: Beginner Pagan, Not Sure What I Experienced  (Read 1967 times)

Zwalla

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Beginner Pagan, Not Sure What I Experienced
« on: May 21, 2012, 05:12:52 pm »
I just want to start off by saying I'm new to paganism (I've been reading about it for a few weeks: lists of celtic deities, celtic myths).  I've felt drawn to polytheism for a long time without really realizing it, and now specifically to the Celtic pantheon.  I think this is because my ancestry/roots have always been very important to me.

Anyways, over the past week or so I've prayed some, asking for any god/goddess to reach out to me, give me guidance, etc. to no avail.  I was a little disheartened.  Now today, I tried meditating.  After being in complete peace within my own mind for a little while, I once again called to the gods and goddesses of the Celtic pantheon.  This time, I saw "Lugh" written, and heard it over and over again.  This was accompanied by a kind of very strong, warm and soft feeling in my core, I guess.  It's hard to describe.  After this, I figured it may just be my mind playing tricks or something, so I asked what he looked like, or how people saw him as.  I saw a picture of a young man, with light but reddish hair in simple/little armour.  Afterwards I google-imaged "Lugh" and sure enough, the first many photos were similar to what I saw.  I also read that he is the God of crafts.  That also resonated with me as me and much of my family enjoy various crafts (woodworking, metalworking, crocheting, sewing, quilting...).

I suppose I'm posing this on here as I do not know what exactly I experienced, and what it means (if it means anything at all).  Also, my inner-skeptic is saying this is all a bunch of hogwash, a coincidence, etc.  Have any of you experienced something similar?  What should I do about it?  

Thanks! :)

Jenett

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Re: Beginner Pagan, Not Sure What I Experienced
« Reply #1 on: May 21, 2012, 05:58:47 pm »
Quote from: Zwalla;55811

I suppose I'm posing this on here as I do not know what exactly I experienced, and what it means (if it means anything at all).  Also, my inner-skeptic is saying this is all a bunch of hogwash, a coincidence, etc.  Have any of you experienced something similar?  What should I do about it?  


Building a relationship with a deity is a lot like building a relationship with a person - you get the rare few where it's love at first sight, but in most cases, it's a (much) longer process, with give and take over a period of months or years. (Honestly, I enjoy that bit.)

In this case, that's actually a pretty rapid response. You don't need to believe it wholesale just yet: the next step would be to do some things that would help you get to know more about Lugh, and spend some time deciding what you want to do about that. (Just like if you have a new friend, you'd spend some time learning about them, and deciding whether you want to spend tons more time with them, or just some specific activities, or what.)

That learning can take a lot of forms. Reading about a deity is one method - but you might also explore making some form of art (different part of your brain involved), meditation, divination, ritual work, journalling, or all sorts of other things.

(And when I say ritual work, I mean "explore connecting in a ritual space, not 'make big deal promises immediately'" - in my practice, we suggest people make a short-term commitment to learning more about a deity (for three months, six months, maybe a year) before they make any longer term commitment.

Doing those things will give you more data and experience over time, and then you can decide what you want to do about it. You might decide to make a more formal commitment to honouring Lugh. You might decide that you are in fact more interested in a different deity. You might end up somewhere else entirely.
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Sharysa

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Re: Beginner Pagan, Not Sure What I Experienced
« Reply #2 on: May 21, 2012, 06:11:37 pm »
Quote from: Zwalla;55811

I suppose I'm posing this on here as I do not know what exactly I experienced, and what it means (if it means anything at all).  Also, my inner-skeptic is saying this is all a bunch of hogwash, a coincidence, etc.  Have any of you experienced something similar?  What should I do about it?  

 
Sounds like your skepticism is acting up because you're unconsciously afraid/insecure of something. I got called by the Morrigan (the Irish goddess of war) when I was thirteen-ish, and she scared the wits out of me until I finally sucked up my fear and started learning on her.

Then I asked Aengus Og (the god of love) about all the love/relationship issues I've been having and he went, "I'd really like to help, but I can't do anything until you feel less like shit." And then after I felt better, he kept popping into my head and going "If there's anything you might possibly be confused/upset about AT ALL, you can ask me about it."

Keeping Jenett's insight in mind, you can always just ask Lugh what he wants from you. Unless the information is sensitive or you're asking for the wrong reasons, the gods are usually fine with answering.
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Zwalla

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Re: Beginner Pagan, Not Sure What I Experienced
« Reply #3 on: May 21, 2012, 06:49:55 pm »
Quote from: Jenett;55816
Building a relationship with a deity is a lot like building a relationship with a person - you get the rare few where it's love at first sight, but in most cases, it's a (much) longer process, with give and take over a period of months or years. (Honestly, I enjoy that bit.)

In this case, that's actually a pretty rapid response. You don't need to believe it wholesale just yet: the next step would be to do some things that would help you get to know more about Lugh, and spend some time deciding what you want to do about that. (Just like if you have a new friend, you'd spend some time learning about them, and deciding whether you want to spend tons more time with them, or just some specific activities, or what.)

That learning can take a lot of forms. Reading about a deity is one method - but you might also explore making some form of art (different part of your brain involved), meditation, divination, ritual work, journalling, or all sorts of other things.

(And when I say ritual work, I mean "explore connecting in a ritual space, not 'make big deal promises immediately'" - in my practice, we suggest people make a short-term commitment to learning more about a deity (for three months, six months, maybe a year) before they make any longer term commitment.

Doing those things will give you more data and experience over time, and then you can decide what you want to do about it. You might decide to make a more formal commitment to honouring Lugh. You might decide that you are in fact more interested in a different deity. You might end up somewhere else entirely.

 
Thanks for all the ideas, I'll read much more about him and try to put together a daily ritual.  Divination also seems very interesting :).


Quote from: Sharysa;55821
Sounds like your skepticism is acting up because you're unconsciously afraid/insecure of something. I got called by the Morrigan (the Irish goddess of war) when I was thirteen-ish, and she scared the wits out of me until I finally sucked up my fear and started learning on her.

I'm worried that if it wasn't him, and was just my imagination, then obviously he hasn't spoken to me and me doing something assuming he has might... I don't know, piss him off, for lack of a better word.  And I'm almost sixteen, so I guess our experiences could be very much alike!


Quote from: Sharysa;55821
Keeping Jenett's insight in mind, you can always just ask Lugh what he wants from you. Unless the information is sensitive or you're asking for the wrong reasons, the gods are usually fine with answering.

Why didn't I think of that?:o

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Re: Beginner Pagan, Not Sure What I Experienced
« Reply #4 on: May 22, 2012, 09:46:10 am »
Quote from: Zwalla;55825
I'm worried that if it wasn't him, and was just my imagination, then obviously he hasn't spoken to me and me doing something assuming he has might... I don't know, piss him off, for lack of a better word.  And I'm almost sixteen, so I guess our experiences could be very much alike!

 
Well, turn it around.

Suppose it is your imagination?

What checks can you put in place for that?

I would suggest, first of all, evaluate anything you do for whether or not it's something that you consider ethical.  That will cover you from chasing imaginations into ways that are bad for other people.

Then look at what information you have about Lugh, and compare what's in your head to that.  "Pick a craft and master it"?  That seems like something Lugh might say.  "Just slap some crap together and have done with it"?  Not Lugh.  Bright flash of light?  Could be related to Lugh.  Could not be.

When you have an impulse or feel you have a communication from a Power, and you have checked it to see if it is both plausibly associated with that Power and morally acceptable to you, what's the harm in treating it as it appears to be?  Worst case, you're doing something consistent and not harmful.
as the water grinds the stone
we rise and fall
as our ashes turn to dust
we shine like stars    - Covenant, "Bullet"

Sharysa

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Re: Beginner Pagan, Not Sure What I Experienced
« Reply #5 on: May 22, 2012, 12:18:12 pm »
Quote from: Zwalla;55825



 
One way to make sure it isn't your imagination, as Darkhawk said, is to see if it feels like something YOU'D do or say.

For example, I know when the Morrigan is speaking to me because 1) her presence is very forceful and tends to "drown me out," when I usually have about five trains of thought going on at once. 2) She gives very concise statements, which I don't often do because I'm so long-winded and fretful (Re: Five trains of thought).

When Aengus Og is talking to me, he sounds like a man--which I am certainly not. Also, he constantly tells me to ask him about things regarding love/relationships, which comes in direct conflict with my relationship issues that are aggravated by being Asian-American. :P And when I first spoke to him, I'd been picking up the pieces from all the epiphanies the Morrigan  forced me to have, and I was having a whole bunch of visions about a boy.

I wasn't sure whether the boy was real, literal, metaphorical, or all three, so I asked Aengus what I could do to finally meet him. It then devolved into a rant about how isolated/stupid/useless I felt and Aengus said, "Sweetie, you know you only want to meet him NOW because you hate feeling like this." And I went, "But you're the god of love! You have to help me!" At which he told me, "I can't help you with the kind of love you need right now," and then he left.

If you can find someone clearheaded enough to tell themselves that right after they have a breakdown, feel free to tell me who they are and I shall worship them in addition to my existing gods.

Another thing I noticed (over seven years, mind) is that they came into my life when I really, really needed them. The Morrigan called dibs on me a couple of years after my dad got imprisoned for child abuse--I didn't realize it then because it was only this year that she started doing the "rip out the worn-out issues holding you back" thing.

You're sixteen, which means you'll be done with school in a couple of years and you're probably thinking about choosing a career. (Or that other people are telling you to. XD) That definitely seems like a good spot for Lugh to chime in.
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Zwalla

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Re: Beginner Pagan, Not Sure What I Experienced
« Reply #6 on: May 22, 2012, 07:48:05 pm »
Quote from: Darkhawk;55933

When you have an impulse or feel you have a communication from a Power, and you have checked it to see if it is both plausibly associated with that Power and morally acceptable to you, what's the harm in treating it as it appears to be?  Worst case, you're doing something consistent and not harmful.

 
Quote from: Sharysa;55947
One way to make sure it isn't your imagination, as Darkhawk said, is to see if it feels like something YOU'D do or say.


Thanks, I'll try to make contact again and see what happens!

Aubrey_Rose

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Re: Beginner Pagan, Not Sure What I Experienced
« Reply #7 on: May 22, 2012, 08:06:57 pm »
Quote from: Zwalla;55811
I just want to start off by saying I'm new to paganism (I've been reading about it for a few weeks: lists of celtic deities, celtic myths).  I've felt drawn to polytheism for a long time without really realizing it, and now specifically to the Celtic pantheon.  I think this is because my ancestry/roots have always been very important to me.

Anyways, over the past week or so I've prayed some, asking for any god/goddess to reach out to me, give me guidance, etc. to no avail.  I was a little disheartened.  Now today, I tried meditating.  After being in complete peace within my own mind for a little while, I once again called to the gods and goddesses of the Celtic pantheon.  This time, I saw "Lugh" written, and heard it over and over again.  This was accompanied by a kind of very strong, warm and soft feeling in my core, I guess.  It's hard to describe.  After this, I figured it may just be my mind playing tricks or something, so I asked what he looked like, or how people saw him as.  I saw a picture of a young man, with light but reddish hair in simple/little armour.  Afterwards I google-imaged "Lugh" and sure enough, the first many photos were similar to what I saw.  I also read that he is the God of crafts.  That also resonated with me as me and much of my family enjoy various crafts (woodworking, metalworking, crocheting, sewing, quilting...).

I suppose I'm posing this on here as I do not know what exactly I experienced, and what it means (if it means anything at all).  Also, my inner-skeptic is saying this is all a bunch of hogwash, a coincidence, etc.  Have any of you experienced something similar?  What should I do about it?  

Thanks! :)

 
This happened to me recently with Hekate, only in a dream. I had paid no mind to her at all before that, I was focusing my interests towards different more common "earth" goddesses. Then 'BAM" there she was. I knew it wasn't me imagining, because well... there is no reason she of all Gods/Goddesses would be in my dreams! I had been researching Gaia for days, if anyone you would expect it to be me having dreams involving her (if that was the case, I would have probably chalked it up to an overactive dream imagination)

I'm still researching, and learning, and constantly speaking to her(mostly with very little reply). I think this is important in order to figure out if its a path you want to pursue or not.
If we all lived a little greener, Then perhaps our children\'s children will live a little longer.
--Rose

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