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Author Topic: General/Non-Specific: Afraid I offended the god and goddess?  (Read 2376 times)

BubbleCow

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Afraid I offended the god and goddess?
« on: March 20, 2019, 09:01:04 pm »
Everyone here is always so nice and understanding, I was a bit afraid to post but I really need some advice :)

So recently I've been kind of branching out with my practices and beliefs, trying to just pull my mind away from all the lists and rules and everything I've read and follow what feels right with me.

I've started honoring the god and goddess, but for a while, I just felt more pull to the goddess so for a bit I only worshipped her, moving my male statue off my alter, etc. As of now the pull is equal among them and I want to honor them both, but I'm worried I've offended Him by choosing to solely honor the goddess at the time, although I did explain my reasons. I don't know if I should be worried that He is angry with me or not, do you think I should be? I just often worry that something like a lack of offerings or forgetfulness will provoke anger or resentment.

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Re: Afraid I offended the god and goddess?
« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2019, 09:43:11 pm »
Everyone here is always so nice and understanding, I was a bit afraid to post but I really need some advice :)

So recently I've been kind of branching out with my practices and beliefs, trying to just pull my mind away from all the lists and rules and everything I've read and follow what feels right with me.

I've started honoring the god and goddess, but for a while, I just felt more pull to the goddess so for a bit I only worshipped her, moving my male statue off my alter, etc. As of now the pull is equal among them and I want to honor them both, but I'm worried I've offended Him by choosing to solely honor the goddess at the time, although I did explain my reasons. I don't know if I should be worried that He is angry with me or not, do you think I should be? I just often worry that something like a lack of offerings or forgetfulness will provoke anger or resentment.

Hmm.  Well, I don't know your particular god, but I know mine would *definitely* let me know very straightforwardly if I offended him.  Personally I would take the sense of a "pull" as something of an invitation. However, it might be polite to acknowledge your previous absence in some way, such as an extra-special offering and maybe even actually apologize as a part of that if you feel it's called for, much as you might if life circumstances led you to neglect a good human friend for awhile.

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Re: Afraid I offended the god and goddess?
« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2019, 11:07:41 pm »
I've started honoring the god and goddess, but for a while, I just felt more pull to the goddess so for a bit I only worshipped her, moving my male statue off my alter, etc. As of now the pull is equal among them and I want to honor them both, but I'm worried I've offended Him by choosing to solely honor the goddess at the time, although I did explain my reasons. I don't know if I should be worried that He is angry with me or not, do you think I should be? I just often worry that something like a lack of offerings or forgetfulness will provoke anger or resentment.

Have you tried asking the god how he feels?

Pray to him--take time out from your day to send up your thoughts and questions, and be still and quiet for a while, and see if you get a response. Or you could read some Tarot cards (or use your oracle of choice).

I also agree with Ashmire, above, that the pull you're feeling is probably a good sign to begin with, and that a particularly nice offering might be an appropriate way to welcome your god back into your life.
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Re: Afraid I offended the god and goddess?
« Reply #3 on: March 21, 2019, 07:19:15 am »
Everyone here is always so nice and understanding, I was a bit afraid to post but I really need some advice :)

So recently I've been kind of branching out with my practices and beliefs, trying to just pull my mind away from all the lists and rules and everything I've read and follow what feels right with me.

I've started honoring the god and goddess, but for a while, I just felt more pull to the goddess so for a bit I only worshipped her, moving my male statue off my alter, etc. As of now the pull is equal among them and I want to honor them both, but I'm worried I've offended Him by choosing to solely honor the goddess at the time, although I did explain my reasons. I don't know if I should be worried that He is angry with me or not, do you think I should be? I just often worry that something like a lack of offerings or forgetfulness will provoke anger or resentment.


Worshippers have always had anxieties like this. Some of the oldest ritual tablets from Italy contain a passage that basically says “if anything was not done correctly, please forgive us.”

I had a storm take out my power back in December not long after my solstice ritual, which made me very quickly attempt a follow-up ritual just to be safe. That’s Perun though. Probably more demanding than most.

Out of curiosity, who is he to you? Do you have a well-defined male patron deity? If not, then maybe part of the issue is that he’s kind of a question mark for you.


Jenett

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Re: Afraid I offended the god and goddess?
« Reply #4 on: March 21, 2019, 08:35:47 am »
I've started honoring the god and goddess, but for a while, I just felt more pull to the goddess so for a bit I only worshipped her, moving my male statue off my alter, etc. As of now the pull is equal among them and I want to honor them both, but I'm worried I've offended Him by choosing to solely honor the goddess at the time, although I did explain my reasons. I don't know if I should be worried that He is angry with me or not, do you think I should be? I just often worry that something like a lack of offerings or forgetfulness will provoke anger or resentment.

This is where I come back to "relationships with deities are more like relationships with other people than they're different". (Though I'll note I'm also coming at it from a polytheistic perspective: not just "the god" and "the goddess")

Some things that might help you sort through this:

1) Did you make any specific commitments about making offerings that you have in fact broken?

This is a good place to start, because it's usually pretty clear cut. (Making offerings every day for a while is a pattern, but it isn't necessarily the same kind of formal commitment that "I will make offerings to you every day" would be.)

2) If you did make commitments, was there any sort of out clause or consequence?

In my training, I was taught these are very good things: you will change, your circumstances will change, you will have days when you are so sick you can't make an offering, or can't do the one you usually make because of travel or other needs (a family member in hospital, say) So a good long-term commitment needs to have some flexibility. As you move forward, you may want to think about this one carefully.

3) Do you feel any sense of anger toward you?

Note that anger is different than "Hey, I miss you" or disappointment, or wistfulness, or any number of other options. Gods are usually reasonably understanding if you come back and say "Hi, I missed you" so long as you haven't fairly deliberately broken formal commitments. (And even then, there are ways to fix it.)

Related, how's the rest of your life? If everything is going along with reasonably normal ups and downs for you, you are probably okay doing step 4.

4) Assuming there's no particular strong anger or other related emotions, the best thing to do is probably make a nicer-than-usual offering, and spend some time basically saying "Hey, I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention to you, now I'm ready to change that. See, here is your statue on my altar, here is a thing you like as an offering,

It's useful to remember that in most historical Pagan societies, people would move in and out of particularly honouring specific deities for all sorts of reasons - a change in their stage of life, or moving to a new place, or moving from one occupation to another. (Just as we as humans also have changes in our friendships, who we work for, who we work with, etc.) There are certainly ways to handle that badly - but on average a "Hey, I need to go do some stuff over here" is usually fine and coming back to the relationship later is fine.

(Also remember that the Gods do not have our timescale. A year or even five years for us is often just sort of a blip for them.)
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arete

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Re: Afraid I offended the god and goddess?
« Reply #5 on: March 21, 2019, 10:22:06 am »
Everyone here is always so nice and understanding, I was a bit afraid to post but I really need some advice :)

So recently I've been kind of branching out with my practices and beliefs, trying to just pull my mind away from all the lists and rules and everything I've read and follow what feels right with me.

I've started honoring the god and goddess, but for a while, I just felt more pull to the goddess so for a bit I only worshipped her, moving my male statue off my alter, etc. As of now the pull is equal among them and I want to honor them both, but I'm worried I've offended Him by choosing to solely honor the goddess at the time, although I did explain my reasons. I don't know if I should be worried that He is angry with me or not, do you think I should be? I just often worry that something like a lack of offerings or forgetfulness will provoke anger or resentment.
You would have offended the God, if you pretent you worship him equal to the Goddess, when you felt nothing. The God wants you to keep it real. He isn't angry when you are true. In my opinion.  :)

BubbleCow

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Re: Afraid I offended the god and goddess?
« Reply #6 on: March 21, 2019, 03:08:21 pm »
Thank you all for the kind words and advice :)
I think you’re right about presenting a special offering. I did apologize, however the day I did it was very hectic because one of my pets died so I didn’t really have the chance to really sit down and think about it.
I do need to get into the habit of asking and talking to the gods more in general- the biggest problem for me is that I have chronic anxiety and one of the things that triggers it is well, what I perceive as doing *nothing* as in just sitting an being mindful. It’s something I need to work through.

I don’t really have a specific god in my mind at the moment, though I worshipped Him for a while as Anubis so I suppose starting there would be good. I never made any formal commitments, and like I said my ability to stop and breathe for a minute is rather lacking, as was my reliability with giving offerings, so at this point I’m pretty sure I’ve made the gods well aware that I’m a total scatterbrained ninny.

Aside from the death of my fish nothing bad has really happened as of late, so hopefully you all are right :) thank you again for your wonderful advice.
« Last Edit: March 21, 2019, 03:11:18 pm by BubbleCow »

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Re: Afraid I offended the god and goddess?
« Reply #7 on: March 21, 2019, 06:14:09 pm »
I don’t really have a specific god in my mind at the moment, though I worshipped Him for a while as Anubis so I suppose starting there would be good. I never made any formal commitments, and like I said my ability to stop and breathe for a minute is rather lacking, as was my reliability with giving offerings, so at this point I’m pretty sure I’ve made the gods well aware that I’m a total scatterbrained ninny.

I actually, if you have an extant relationship with Anup (Anubis), would guess from what you've said that He might be very good for you.  He is one of the kindest gods I have ever encountered, and has the sort of patience that only someone who literally has all the time in the world can manifest.  He's a very calming presence (if a bit prone to meaningful staring) and He might well be able to help you with calmness.
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we shine like stars    - Covenant, "Bullet"

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Re: Afraid I offended the god and goddess?
« Reply #8 on: March 21, 2019, 06:34:24 pm »
I actually, if you have an extant relationship with Anup (Anubis), would guess from what you've said that He might be very good for you.  He is one of the kindest gods I have ever encountered, and has the sort of patience that only someone who literally has all the time in the world can manifest.  He's a very calming presence (if a bit prone to meaningful staring) and He might well be able to help you with calmness.

The death of a pet also strikes me as something that would stir Anup/Anubis to ask someone's attention again. I certainly don't mean that he'd be vengeful about it, but rather that he would be near and present, perhaps even as a source of support, in the ensuing liminal period.
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BubbleCow

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Re: Afraid I offended the god and goddess?
« Reply #9 on: March 23, 2019, 08:18:10 pm »
I actually, if you have an extant relationship with Anup (Anubis), would guess from what you've said that He might be very good for you.  He is one of the kindest gods I have ever encountered, and has the sort of patience that only someone who literally has all the time in the world can manifest.  He's a very calming presence (if a bit prone to meaningful staring) and He might well be able to help you with calmness.

It's funny you say that because I've always been rather afraid to talk to him, more so than Bast, who I found myself more at ease communicating with. I think it's probably because although I have long ago come to understand that gods related to death are not 'evil', there's still a little bit of fear there for me because I just see him as very powerful and intimidating. Also as silly as it sounds, I always get a little more apprehensive talking to men compared to women. But it's reassuring to hear of your experiences with Him, I'll try to be more openminded next time I talk to Him. Thank you for your advice :)

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Re: Afraid I offended the god and goddess?
« Reply #10 on: March 24, 2019, 05:03:49 pm »
It's funny you say that because I've always been rather afraid to talk to him, more so than Bast, who I found myself more at ease communicating with. I think it's probably because although I have long ago come to understand that gods related to death are not 'evil', there's still a little bit of fear there for me because I just see him as very powerful and intimidating. Also as silly as it sounds, I always get a little more apprehensive talking to men compared to women. But it's reassuring to hear of your experiences with Him, I'll try to be more openminded next time I talk to Him. Thank you for your advice :)

Anup is a psychopomp, sure, but he's also the patron of orphans and a guide to the lost.  He's a big softie.

(I'd also add that Bast and Anup are known in the Kemetic community for being "intro" gods who bring people in and introduce them around to the rest of the family.)
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we rise and fall
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we shine like stars    - Covenant, "Bullet"

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Re: Afraid I offended the god and goddess?
« Reply #11 on: March 25, 2019, 06:51:14 pm »
Anup is a psychopomp, sure, but he's also the patron of orphans and a guide to the lost.  He's a big softie.

Now I kinda want to see a fanfic of Anup and Sandman!Death just hanging out and having tea.
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