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Author Topic: Found on my hard drive: the "You Can't Be Pagan" list  (Read 9025 times)

Darkhawk

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Re: Found on my hard drive: the "You Can't Be Pagan" list
« Reply #30 on: October 04, 2015, 01:08:06 am »
Quote from: Sefiru;133297
BTW, if anyone has any new ways they've been told "You can't be Pagan", I'd love to hear them.

 
Not a new one, just remembering an old anecdote:

- because I want to actually perform my religious rituals, even when travelling, rather than "just do them on the astral"
as the water grinds the stone
we rise and fall
as our ashes turn to dust
we shine like stars    - Covenant, "Bullet"

Sefiru

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Re: Found on my hard drive: the "You Can't Be Pagan" list
« Reply #31 on: October 09, 2015, 07:41:30 pm »
Quote from: Darkhawk;180736
Not a new one, just remembering an old anecdote:

- because I want to actually perform my religious rituals, even when travelling, rather than "just do them on the astral"


Since the material world isn't important, amirite? /sarcasm

I wonder if this sort of comment has become less common over time, or if it goes in cycles. Or if the type of person who likes to be exclusionary isn't likely to be into Paganism these days.

Skumring

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Re: Found on my hard drive: the "You Can't Be Pagan" list
« Reply #32 on: November 18, 2015, 12:02:14 pm »
Quote from: Sefiru;132755
So I was looking over the Teen Pagans FAQ and saw that it still had a mention of this compilation, even though it disappeared from the Web when Geocities went down. The timestamp on the file is August 2007 (has it really been that long?); it lists 248 points and is 7 pages in word. And here it is in all its absurd glory ...

 
I actually almost guffawed a couple times reading this... I'd heard of this years ago but couldn't be bothered at the time to go look at it. Probably for the best. I was a much angrier person back then and likely would have embarrassed myself.

And oh so many reasons I'm not pagan. Let me count the ways. Wait, nope. I have to get ready for work now...
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Lionrhod

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Re: Found on my hard drive: the "You Can't Be Pagan" list
« Reply #33 on: November 28, 2015, 12:49:00 pm »
Quote from: Amphibian;132871
I love that a goodly number of the items are mutually contradictory.  Nice solid foundation, that is. :)

 

Funny as heck! I guess I am not pagan! Oops! I AM.
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Floofy Bunny

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Re: Found on my hard drive: the "You Can't Be Pagan" list
« Reply #34 on: December 01, 2015, 04:45:56 pm »
Quote from: Sefiru;132755
You can’t be pagan because …you don’t like: … Silver Ravenwolf.


This made me smile because as someone who has recently turned back to paganism after the surge of popularity in the 90s when I was a teen, I stumbled across some Silver Ravenwolf teen pagan books in the used bookstore, and oh, those covers! It brought back a flood of memories, but also a cringe cuz Silver Ravenwolf, but still I can't deny her books were big to tween me!

SunflowerP

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Re: Found on my hard drive: the "You Can't Be Pagan" list
« Reply #35 on: December 21, 2016, 06:22:15 am »
Quote from: Sefiru;133297
BTW, if anyone has any new ways they've been told "You can't be Pagan", I'd love to hear them.

 
This is not new to me, by any means (I've been ranting about it for 25 years now), but Morag and I were commiserating about this one in chat, it being UAN; neither of us could recall if it was on the list, but we agreed it should be. So I dug up the thread to check, and, nope, it's not! It's kind of a string of corollaries:

Quote from: Sefiru;132755
Get Your Wicca On

You can’t be pagan because …

… you don’t celebrate the Sabbats.


... ... on the exact date.
... ... ... with a formal ritual.

Of course, those who aren't Wiccish (or possibly some flavors of Druish) are ruled out on the first one, but just to make sure everyone's excluded equally, the gatekeepers and purists have more stages!:mad:

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Re: Found on my hard drive: the "You Can't Be Pagan" list
« Reply #36 on: December 21, 2016, 06:30:27 am »
Quote from: MadZealot;132861
Damn.  I'm not Pagan because half that list.  At least Jesus still loves me (this I know.)


I started to count the disqualifying points, out of curiosity. Ran out of it and gave up when I passed 100. Guess I never was saved Pagan to begin with. :p
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Sefiru

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Re: Found on my hard drive: the "You Can't Be Pagan" list
« Reply #37 on: December 21, 2016, 06:29:35 pm »
Quote from: SunflowerP;200375

Of course, those who aren't Wiccish (or possibly some flavors of Druish) are ruled out on the first one, but just to make sure everyone's excluded equally, the gatekeepers and purists have more stages!:mad:

Sunflower


Gaters gonna gate, I guess. *eyeroll*

Vixen

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Re: Found on my hard drive: the "You Can't Be Pagan" list
« Reply #38 on: December 27, 2016, 11:02:19 am »
Quote from: Sefiru;132755
And here it is in all its absurd glory ... ;)

OMG I got such a hearty chuckle out of this, thank you for bringing it to the surface Sunflower!
Btw, is it just me or is there a healthy dose of BDSM-minded people on this site :whis:

btw... maybe saying OMG should be on the list too. I say that way too often and its so out of tune with my woolen socks.
« Last Edit: December 27, 2016, 11:03:48 am by Vixen »
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Darkhawk

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Re: Found on my hard drive: the "You Can't Be Pagan" list
« Reply #39 on: June 28, 2017, 05:19:26 pm »
Check Your Brain At The Door

You can’t be pagan because …
… you don’t trust all other pagans without question.

... ... about their status as a god.
as the water grinds the stone
we rise and fall
as our ashes turn to dust
we shine like stars    - Covenant, "Bullet"

Sefiru

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Re: Found on my hard drive: the "You Can't Be Pagan" list
« Reply #40 on: June 28, 2017, 06:03:59 pm »
... ... about their status as a god.

*gigglesnort.*

Anon100

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Re: Found on my hard drive: the "You Can't Be Pagan" list
« Reply #41 on: October 17, 2019, 04:08:11 am »
So I was looking over the Teen Pagans FAQ and saw that it still had a mention of this compilation, even though it disappeared from the Web when Geocities went down. The timestamp on the file is August 2007 (has it really been that long?); it lists 248 points and is 7 pages in word. And here it is in all its absurd glory ...

===========================================================
Well, I Guess That Means We’re Not Pagan After All…


The list that follows is compiled from the responses of TC members to the thread “You can’t be Pagan because …”. Each of the items on this list has been told to at least one person as a reason they couldn’t be pagan; I have edited only to make the grammar match. The supposedly clever titles are my own invention. So, in no particular order:

Tasteless Philistines

You can’t be pagan because …
   … Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
   … Led Zeppelin.
… you like:
   … Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
   … Led Zeppelin.
… you make Star Trek references.

[/B] That’s Funny, You Don’t *Look* Pagan[/B]

You can’t be pagan because …
… you wear colors.
… you wear black.

Christian Rays (and other dangers)

You can’t be pagan because …
… you think Jesus had some good ideas.

What Really Happened

You can’t be Pagan because …
… you don’t believe that Jesus was a Wiccan.
   … and the Apostles were his coven.
   … and they were gay.

And of course, no member of TC can be a true pagan since we’ve all been warlocked to wonder the grey mists forever. (sic) ;)

Hmm,
Well, I'm on the fence about Buffy the Vampire Slayer and think Jesus had a bad idea when he became Wiccan and formed a gay coven so there may be hope for me yet.
I can live long and prosper...

Oh blast

Meant to add.. Technically black is a colour. Does that allow/exclude everyone?
« Last Edit: October 17, 2019, 04:11:01 am by Anon100 »

Sefiru

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Re: Found on my hard drive: the "You Can't Be Pagan" list
« Reply #42 on: October 17, 2019, 06:40:20 pm »
Technically black is a colour. Does that allow/exclude everyone?

Oh, this list is all about the excluding  :P

Anon100

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Re: Found on my hard drive: the "You Can't Be Pagan" list
« Reply #43 on: October 17, 2019, 06:53:32 pm »
Oh, this list is all about the excluding  :P

Well that's me definitely out then. I am NOT prepared to go naked just so I don't wear colour ( I work with brambles and nettles  :o )
I honestly couldn't help but laugh when I read this though. Thank you for posting it.

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