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Author Topic: Looking for Advice  (Read 162 times)

CalicoNyanko

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Looking for Advice
« on: October 07, 2019, 08:49:23 pm »
I'm in need of some advice and something told me I should post here. 

My older daughter, (7), has been acting out a lot lately.  This happens every year as we approach the holiday season, and has for the past four years when we left my kids' abusive father.  Despite everything, she isn't letting go of this made up image of her Dad in her head, and when they start learning about families and traditions in school before the usual holidays, she always starts acting out.  This year is particularly bad.  She's running away from classes and bullying other kids.  I've sat down with her and we've talked about how  bullying hurts not only other people, but it can make us feel pretty rotten too.  We've talked about how being kind makes everyone feel happy.  We always come away from these talks with positive feelings. 

And then my very religious, very opinionated mother (who we happen to live with until our situation improves, and who does not approve of pagan faiths in any way) barges in and undoes everything.  She yells and screams, belittles my daughter.  I step in and she does the same to me. Often she waits until I have to step out and then goes after her.  My mother basically thinks my daughter has the devil in her and she's going to grow up to be a horrible person if I don't "Fix" her.  She's screaming about therapy and church and all of these things she thinks my daughter needs.

Its to a point where I'm at a loss as to what to do.  I've spoken to my Mom about the way she treats my daughter, but my opinion doesn't matter.  Moving out isn't an option right now either.  I shield my daughters as best as I can, and we spend a lot of time outside the house when possible, and I've also tried to remind my daughter that Grandma can be a bully too, and how she treats us is not ok.  But I'm worried that with the issues my daughter is already facing, plus the negative influence of Grandma, that  things are not going to get any better.

In your opinions, are there any special stories I can read with my daughters to help, or magickal charms that can help protect them from this negativity when nothing else works?  I'm doing my best to find a better situation for us, but in the meantime, we are stuck here.  Any advice would be appreciated.

Sefiru

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Re: Looking for Advice
« Reply #1 on: October 08, 2019, 07:12:22 pm »
I'm doing my best to find a better situation for us, but in the meantime, we are stuck here.  Any advice would be appreciated.

First off, your physical safety should be a priority; the advice below is not worth risking the roof over your head, if it comes to that. That being said:

Quote
My mother basically thinks my daughter has the devil in her

Being the contrarian I am, I would say, roll with this. Many modern left-hand or 'satanist' paths include aspects of self-determination and self-improvement, poking fun at what's considered 'normal' (consider the Church of Satan's political antics), and telling authority figures when they've crossed the line. Plus, acknowledging and understanding the more negative aspects of human nature.

These are the paths of tricksters and outsider characters. My own deity, Set, is one such; there's Coyote, Loki, Robin Hood and many more. Heck, you and your daughter could watch Thor together and discuss Loki's behavior in that movie.

If she's having a hard time with holidays, why not have an anti-thanksgiving? Like, decorate with peacocks and strawberries instead of turkeys and pumpkins, and eat Thai takeout, or whatever would deliberately invert your established traditions.

CalicoNyanko

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Re: Looking for Advice
« Reply #2 on: October 09, 2019, 03:53:18 pm »
First off, your physical safety should be a priority; the advice below is not worth risking the roof over your head,

Thank you! I am definitely not going to be doing anything that would risk our safety, and I am working toward a situation where we won't have to live with my mother anymore, but as a single Mom that takes time. We do have places we can go temporarily (a few days tops) should things with my mother get really bad,  but I am hoping it won't come to that.

Also, I love your ideas for inverting the usual celebrations. I feel like that will really appeal to my daughter and could help a lot. I would not have thought of that! Thank you!  I'll definitely give these ideas a try.

 

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