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Author Topic: Music: Your Most Hated Christmas Song, 2019 Edition  (Read 4902 times)

ehbowen

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Re: Your Most Hated Christmas Song, 2019 Edition
« Reply #15 on: December 04, 2019, 04:35:51 pm »
'Happy Christmas (War is Over)'.

Sunflower, who is in fact old enough to remember the end of the Vietnam War, which is what the subtitle of the song refers to

Although, of course, men and women continued dying in Vietnam for several more years after 1971...with the pace really accelerating come 1975.



You can't have peace unless both sides want it.

And, as an internet acquaintance recently shared on Facebook:

 [ Invalid Attachment ]
--------Eric H. Bowen
Where's the KABOOM? There was supposed to have been an Earth-shattering KABOOM!

Uneryx

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Re: Your Most Hated Christmas Song, 2019 Edition
« Reply #16 on: December 05, 2019, 02:01:55 pm »
This is THE WORST:

Caution: Unhide at your own risk. You have been warned!
Spoiler:  


This is Spike Jones's version of "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus." Not responsible for nightmares if you play the video!





Link to the antidote.

Hiss!!!!! HISS!!!!

I remember we talked about this horror a few years ago. It is still awful.

Castus

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Re: Your Most Hated Christmas Song, 2019 Edition
« Reply #17 on: December 06, 2019, 11:00:37 am »
'Happy Christmas (War is Over)'.

Sunflower, who is in fact old enough to remember the end of the Vietnam War, which is what the subtitle of the song refers to

I adore Melissa Etheridge’s version of Happy Christmas. Honestly I’m an absolute fiend for Christmas music in general** so this thread tends to horrify me, but by that same token you don’t listen to as much Christmas music as I do without hearing the dregs.

“Christmas Shoes” is like an abortion set to music, and my father once famously remarked to us that it made him want to punch a child with cancer. Buble’s bowdlerised version of Santa Baby is a disgrace to Eartha Kitt’s magisterial original. Uneryx’s choices are also mistuned piles of refuse. “Simply Having A Wonderful Christmastime” is just a war crime which has escaped the attention of The Hague.

“Mary Did You Know” infuriates me theologically because it just breezes past the Annunciation.

I have three sins up for consideration. The first two are “Hard Candy Christmas” and “Do They Know It’s Christmas?”. With respect to my beloved Dolly the first one is just depressing and unnecessary. The second is admittedly well-produced and star-studded but it’s insipid and is so patronising even I loathe it.

The absolute worst “Christmas” song ever produced, however, is the song “River” as sang by quite literally anyone. It’s a maudlin dirge with a vaguely wintry theme, one which apparently qualifies it for inclusion on Christmas radio. I hate it. I hate it I hate it I hate it.


** (such as Raul Malo’s excellent cover of Marshmallow World, or Nat King Cole’s Adeste Fideles, or the greatest Christmas musical performance ever wrought by the hands of mankind: Bing Crosby and David Bowie’s Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy duet)
“Castus, meanwhile, goes straight for the bad theology like one of those creepy fish that swims up streams of pee.” — Darkhawk

muis

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Re: Your Most Hated Christmas Song, 2019 Edition
« Reply #18 on: December 18, 2019, 08:30:30 am »
It's time for that old Cauldron tradition of having a thread for griping about those cheesy, insipid, overplayed Christmas songs that make us want to get a copy on vinyl or CD for the sheer satisfaction of smashing it to bits. This is that thread!

This year, I haven't registered anything as especially irritating to me (I'm not sure if it's because I'm not getting out much, or because I'm doing especially well filtering it out), so I'll fall back on LyricFox's pet hate, which was a significant factor in these threads becoming a tradition on TC: Little Drummer Boy, as done by absolutely anyone.

What's yours?

Sunflower

I very dislike “all I want for Christmas”  and “ Blue Christmas” and  also some Dutch carols because they are stuck in my head since two weeks.


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Aster Breo

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Re: Your Most Hated Christmas Song, 2019 Edition
« Reply #19 on: December 18, 2019, 10:21:37 pm »



“Christmas Shoes” is like an abortion set to music, and my father once famously remarked to us that it made him want to punch a child with cancer. Buble’s bowdlerised version of Santa Baby is a disgrace to Eartha Kitt’s magisterial original. Uneryx’s choices are also mistuned piles of refuse. “Simply Having A Wonderful Christmastime” is just a war crime which has escaped the attention of The Hague.

“Mary Did You Know” infuriates me theologically because it just breezes past the Annunciation.

I have three sins up for consideration. The first two are “Hard Candy Christmas” and “Do They Know It’s Christmas?”. With respect to my beloved Dolly the first one is just depressing and unnecessary. The second is admittedly well-produced and star-studded but it’s insipid and is so patronising even I loathe it.

The absolute worst “Christmas” song ever produced, however, is the song “River” as sang by quite literally anyone. It’s a maudlin dirge with a vaguely wintry theme, one which apparently qualifies it for inclusion on Christmas radio. I hate it. I hate it I hate it I hate it.

When I can't get to TC, which, unfortunately, is more often than not lately, I REALLY miss the beautiful snark.  Thank you for that.

I'm a stage manager for the Washington Ballet, and I'm halfway through a 44-performance run of Nutcracker. Bet you can't guess what Christmas music I detest the most!



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ehbowen

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Re: Your Most Hated Christmas Song, 2019 Edition
« Reply #20 on: December 19, 2019, 03:24:58 am »
I'm a stage manager for the Washington Ballet, and I'm halfway through a 44-performance run of Nutcracker. Bet you can't guess what Christmas music I detest the most!

Nineteen years ago I was working back of the house (HVAC engineer) at the Wortham theater where Houston Ballet performs. They had been putting on the same production of the Nutcracker...same director, same staging, same choreography, everything...since dinosaurs roamed the earth, approximately. Needless to say, the dancers and staff were not really in the Christmas spirit....

I'm going to reiterate what i said several years ago: On my Christmas spit list is any song which prominently features the words, 'babe', 'baby', or 'boy' in the title or lyrics UNLESS those words refer directly and specifically to the Christ Child. (However, I am willing to give a pass to those songs which use the words in a general/plural and [often] gender-inclusive way, e.g. 'every girl and boy.') Think of the mileage this covers:
  • Santa Baby
  • Baby, it's cold outside
  • Little Drummer Boy
  • Christmas Shoes

And I'm sure there are others....

« Last Edit: December 19, 2019, 03:30:43 am by ehbowen »
--------Eric H. Bowen
Where's the KABOOM? There was supposed to have been an Earth-shattering KABOOM!

Aster Breo

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Re: Your Most Hated Christmas Song, 2019 Edition
« Reply #21 on: December 19, 2019, 05:26:54 am »


Nineteen years ago I was working back of the house (HVAC engineer) at the Wortham theater where Houston Ballet performs. They had been putting on the same production of the Nutcracker...same director, same staging, same choreography, everything...since dinosaurs roamed the earth, approximately. Needless to say, the dancers and staff were not really in the Christmas spirit....


Absolutely. We all get sick every year, never fails. And, while beautiful, the Warner Theatre is a cramped (onstage and off), old, icebox of a building. It's a slog to get through a run there, even if we're doing a show that isn't Nutcracker Purgatory.

Yeah, this is year 15 or 16 for this production (Septime Weber's, for those who follow ballet) -- apparently, nobody know exactly what year it opened. This is my 7th season. So, to say I could do it in my sleep is not really hyperbole. I've both dreamed about calling the cues and been more asleep than not while actually calling cues.

I think, about general Christmas music, I really hate vocal versions of Nutcracker music where someone has made up lyrics. There's at least 1 choral version of Waltz of the Flowers, for example. The words are just so inane. Tchaikovsky must be rolling in his grave.

I also hate "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year". Because it's a giant lie.

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ehbowen

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Re: Your Most Hated Christmas Song, 2019 Edition
« Reply #22 on: December 19, 2019, 07:18:31 am »
I'm going to reiterate what i said several years ago: On my Christmas spit list is any song which prominently features the words, 'babe', 'baby', or 'boy' in the title or lyrics UNLESS those words refer directly and specifically to the Christ Child. (However, I am willing to give a pass to those songs which use the words in a general/plural and [often] gender-inclusive way, e.g. 'every girl and boy.')

Thinking some more on this, there is an exception to this rule of mine (isn't there always?): I'm actually kind of fond of, "Do You Hear What I Hear?" ("said the little lamb to the shepherd boy) even though I know it's at variance with the actual Scriptural story...if King Herod had asked his people to pray for peace when he got the word, events might have turned out entirely different....
--------Eric H. Bowen
Where's the KABOOM? There was supposed to have been an Earth-shattering KABOOM!

Sefiru

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Re: Your Most Hated Christmas Song, 2019 Edition
« Reply #23 on: December 19, 2019, 06:45:20 pm »
I'm actually kind of fond of, "Do You Hear What I Hear?"

I quite like this one too, musically speaking (I don't know enough musical terminology to articulate why, but, dat melody.) Supposedly it contains some references to the Cuban Missile Crisis too; if so, I don't get it.

As for the Nutcracker, it will always be more Disney's Fantasia tjan Christmas music for me. (Lyrics? Really?)

Aster Breo

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Re: Your Most Hated Christmas Song, 2019 Edition
« Reply #24 on: December 21, 2019, 01:21:30 am »
I quite like this one too, musically speaking (I don't know enough musical terminology to articulate why, but, dat melody.) Supposedly it contains some references to the Cuban Missile Crisis too; if so, I don't get it.

As for the Nutcracker, it will always be more Disney's Fantasia tjan Christmas music for me. (Lyrics? Really?)
Here's one version: 

But there's at least 1 other. I know because I sang it on school chorus decades ago.

It was just as awful as the one in the link.

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Sefiru

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Re: Your Most Hated Christmas Song, 2019 Edition
« Reply #25 on: December 23, 2019, 07:01:01 pm »

It was just as awful as the one in the link.


I clicked and I wish I hadn't. It's like one of those 'literal music videos' except without the humor :P

ehbowen

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Now that Christmas Day is officially over...
« Reply #26 on: December 26, 2019, 11:14:17 am »

...on a related note [pun intended], when do Christmas songs officially wear out their welcome?

For me, it's with the first rendition of Auld Lang Syne....
--------Eric H. Bowen
Where's the KABOOM? There was supposed to have been an Earth-shattering KABOOM!

Aster Breo

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Re: Your Most Hated Christmas Song, 2019 Edition
« Reply #27 on: December 26, 2019, 11:48:13 am »


...on a related note [pun intended], when do Christmas songs officially wear out their welcome?

A little thematic (NSFW) Boxing Day fun for those of you who haven't come across this before:





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Altair

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Re: Your Most Hated Christmas Song, 2019 Edition
« Reply #28 on: December 26, 2019, 10:09:58 pm »
I very dislike “all I want for Christmas” 

Oh lord. That Mariah Carey song.

Proof that hell exists. That song was clearly designed to play there on perpetual loop.
The first song sets the wheel in motion / The second is a song of love / The third song tells of Her devotion / The fourth cries joy from the sky above
The fifth song binds our fate to silence / and bids us live each moment well / The sixth unleashes rage and violence / The seventh song has truth to tell
The last song echoes through the ages / to ask its question all night long / And close the circle on these pages / These, the metamythos songs

PerditaPickle

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Re: Now that Christmas Day is officially over...
« Reply #29 on: December 27, 2019, 04:06:32 am »
...on a related note [pun intended], when do Christmas songs officially wear out their welcome?

For me, it's with the first rendition of Auld Lang Syne....

I think for me it's today onward really, but if others want to keep listening for a few more days then they're free to do so :)

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