Why there are NO Pagan Children

[RandallS]

I have an elderly, very conservative, very Christian relative who sends me a lot of political stuff (among the good jokes) in email.  Today, I got one entitled "Where are the Pagan Children?" This was an image of a flyer so I've had to type it up. Has anyone seen one of these flyers?

You see Christian children everywhere. But where are the pagan children? According to census figures there are many pagans (those who have not accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior) in the US. Many of these people knowingly and willingly follow pagan gods. So where are the pagan children? You probably see some pagan children, but given the number of new agers, witches, satanists, hippies and other Pagans ruining our Christian nation there really should be many more.

Most of the missing pagan children have been sacrificed in abortions or pagan rituals. Unlike Jesus, pagan gods demand human sacrifice of their worshipers, so many non-Christians sacrifice their at least a few of their children to their gods. Ritual human sacrifice is outlawed in all Christian nations as it is abhorrent to God. While some pagan children are sacrificed in horrible pagan rituals where they die slow, agonizing deaths, few pagans are willing to risk being caught torturing infants and toddlers to death. The majority of children are sacrificed via abortion. Yes, abortion.

Christianity in America was weak in the 1960s and 1970s and pagans took advantage of our weakness to get the laws against abortion overturned. Each abortion performed strengthens the pagan gods as it is a sacrifice of sacred human life. Abortionists are priests to the pagan gods ensuring that the souls of those they kill feed the bloodthirsty pagan gods.

This is the true reason why abortion must be stopped. Every abortion performed is a human sacrifice to the pagan gods. Even non-Pagan children are sacrificed in this human sacrifice scheme when Christian victims of rape and incest foolishly have a abortion.

STOP HUMAN SACRIFICE.
WEAKEN THE PAGAN GODS.
VOTE ONLY FOR PRO-LIFE CANDIDATES THIS FALL.

[Any typos are probably my copying errors.]

[Fier]

I have an elderly, very conservative, very Christian relative who sends me a lot of political stuff (among the good jokes) in email.  Today, I got one entitled "Where are the Pagan Children?" This was an image of a flyer so I've had to type it up. Has anyone seen one of these flyers?

[Any typos are probably my copying errors.]

 
:eek:

I just....really?

[Laveth]

I have an elderly, very conservative, very Christian relative who sends me a lot of political stuff (among the good jokes) in email.  Today, I got one entitled "Where are the Pagan Children?" This was an image of a flyer so I've had to type it up. Has anyone seen one of these flyers?

[Any typos are probably my copying errors.]

 

Uhhhh no... not yet...
Wow... just, wow. :eek: I'm going to need more coffee today I think.

[monsnoleedra]

I have an elderly, very conservative, very Christian relative who sends me a lot of political stuff (among the good jokes) in email.  Today, I got one entitled "Where are the Pagan Children?" This was an image of a flyer so I've had to type it up. Has anyone seen one of these flyers?

[Any typos are probably my copying errors.]

I haven't seen that one.  I have a sister that sends me anything Christian related she gets so I'm sure I'd have seen it if she got it.

But the title does raise an interesting question, Where are the Pagan Children?

I know for my son's they were raised by my beliefs and things but they were also free to explore on their own.  As such I never labled them as Pagan or anything so they could choose thier own pathwalk.  Today many aspects of my beliefs are to be found in their world view but its not my place to say upon what pathway they shall or should travel.

[Maps]

I have an elderly, very conservative, very Christian relative who sends me a lot of political stuff (among the good jokes) in email.  Today, I got one entitled "Where are the Pagan Children?" This was an image of a flyer so I've had to type it up. Has anyone seen one of these flyers?

[Any typos are probably my copying errors.]

 
LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Damn, I'm almost sad to say that I won't be bringing any Pagan children into the world.

I guess Jews are pagans that practice infanticide too, then?

[Juni]

Today, I got one entitled "Where are the Pagan Children?" This was an image of a flyer so I've had to type it up. Has anyone seen one of these flyers?

 
...

:eek:

[Tana]

Oh my.
This is so ridiculous...

Well, at least we share the good old tradition of being called child-sacrificers with the Christians, or the Jews, or the Muslims.. or any other group someone wanted and wants to defame. *shrugs*

[Holdasown]

I have an elderly, very conservative, very Christian relative who sends me a lot of political stuff (among the good jokes) in email.  Today, I got one entitled "Where are the Pagan Children?" This was an image of a flyer so I've had to type it up. Has anyone seen one of these flyers?

[Any typos are probably my copying errors.]

That is scary because I know several people who think like that.

[Darkhawk]

Today, I got one entitled "Where are the Pagan Children?"

 
Well, some are being raised by parents who were so scarred by coercive experiences of childhood religion that they refuse to even teach their children anything about their beliefs.

Some have parents in mixed marriages where the children are being raised in the religion of another parent.

Some have parents too closeted to consider talking to anyone about their religious focus (I am reminded of the person on a previous incarnation of the board who was terrified of talking to their spouse...).

And many, many pagan parents are practicing some form of religious witchcraft, which requires a certain amount of effort to be made child-friendly (though I think most forms of popular genero-paganism can do so without actual theological problems, nothing that retains a mystery religion focus requires actual work).

Sigh.

[yewberry]

I have an elderly, very conservative, very Christian relative who sends me a lot of political stuff (among the good jokes) in email.  Today, I got one entitled "Where are the Pagan Children?" This was an image of a flyer so I've had to type it up. Has anyone seen one of these flyers?]

As of yesterday, I'm officially infertile.  I'll miss all those delicious, delicious babies.

Brina

[Thorn]

I have an elderly, very conservative, very Christian relative who sends me a lot of political stuff (among the good jokes) in email.  Today, I got one entitled "Where are the Pagan Children?" This was an image of a flyer so I've had to type it up. Has anyone seen one of these flyers?

[Any typos are probably my copying errors.]

If this isn't a Chick Tract it really, really should be.

[NibbleKat]

I have an elderly, very conservative, very Christian relative who sends me a lot of political stuff (among the good jokes) in email.  Today, I got one entitled "Where are the Pagan Children?" This was an image of a flyer so I've had to type it up. Has anyone seen one of these flyers?

[Any typos are probably my copying errors.]

I was all set to make a joke about the many kids in the local Hoth in my town, but... then I kept reading. And I couldn't keep my dropped jaw from being open.

The frightening thing is, people believe this crap. And the ones that do are... just... wow. Wow.

EDITED PART: Hang on. Doesn't this imply that the person who wrote this believes that there are Pagan gods to "feed?"  Which goes against the whole, "There are no other gods before me" thing??

[yewberry]

The frightening thing is, people believe this crap. And the ones that do are... just... wow. Wow.

People believe the earth is 6,000 years old.  People believe 9 million witches died during the Burning Times.  Thinking is hard.  Ire uses fewer brain cells.

Brina

[NibbleKat]

People believe the earth is 6,000 years old.  People believe 9 million witches died during the Burning Times.  Thinking is hard.  Ire uses fewer brain cells.

Brina

 You'd think that having worked for over seven years in retail/public service, I'd realize how dumb folks are, but they keep showing up even DUMBER than before.

[Neteruhemta RaShuGeb]

You'd think that having worked for over seven years in retail/public service, I'd realize how dumb folks are, but they keep showing up even DUMBER than before.

 
Agreed, I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry when I read this thread. All I know is that even if my children may or may not be raised "Pagan", at least they won't be raised to be this ignorant and stupid.