If the Rapture actually happened, what would you do?

[MadZealot]

This, because the American Fundie Christian Dispensational premillennialism theology is not only "completely incoherent and nonsensical" but has both the Fundie version of the JCI God and the Fundie version of Satan vying for the title of "most evil entity you could put in charge of reality" and approaching the finish line in a draw.

 
Yep.  Definitely not the loving Father that Jesus wanted to share with his contemporaries.  There's a song out there about how John the revelator basically effed up that message.  
In a real-world Rapture scenario I'd probably follow Celtag's example.  Get the hell out of the city.  Stock up on Spam and ammo and light out for the territories.  Imo that's probably the best way to handle any large scale SHTF scenario.

[Lokabrenna]

I thought he died to save everyone.

side note: What's with things lasting 1,000 years?

Remember, these are Christian fundies we're talking about. They aren't exactly known for talking sense when it comes to the end times.

As for the number, Millennial Kingdom sounds better than Centennial Kingdom or Kingdom-That-Only-Lasts-For-a-Year? I think it's in the Bible, somewhere....

[MadZealot]

side note: What's with things lasting 1,000 years?

Probably just a literary convention, similar to the '40 days and 40 nights' used in the OT, used to denote a really really long fucking time.

[Queen of Wands]

For all intents and purposes, assume that the kind of pre-tribulation dispensationalist view of the Rapture happens (a la Left Behind). A bunch of Evangelical Christians suddenly disappear (good times, right?). Soon after, the world literally starts going to Hell in a handbasket, then Jesus shows up and is all: "Okay, now that most of you have died from the world going to shit, time for Judgement Day!" Somewhere in there is an epic battle of angels vs. demons.

What do you do?

The reason I ask is I'm thinking of writing a story about the Christian end times through Pagan eyes (kind of a deconstruction of the idea) so I want to make the reactions of the various characters as realistic as possible. So, what do you do? Hide? Fight? Just try to live your life? Do you accept the Mark of the Beast (you need it to conduct business)? Wonder if you've been deluded all this time?

 

Neat idea, to write it from the pagan perspective!


For me personally...eh. I guess it depends on if Jesus is taking anyone baptized in his name or just the true believers because I feel a lot of pagans were born into Christian families, or at least I was. If he's just taking the practicing Christians with him and leaving me on Earth, I can see myself going either the Dionysus route (nice suggestion!) or finding other survivors and building ourselves an ark in case Ragnarok happens next.

[MadZealot]

... building ourselves an ark in case Ragnarok happens next.

[Wickerman]

Neat idea, to write it from the pagan perspective!


For me personally...eh. I guess it depends on if Jesus is taking anyone baptized in his name or just the true believers because I feel a lot of pagans were born into Christian families, or at least I was. If he's just taking the practicing Christians with him and leaving me on Earth, I can see myself going either the Dionysus route (nice suggestion!) or finding other survivors and building ourselves an ark in case Ragnarok happens next.

 
I wasn't going to reply to this, but after this post I couldn't resist. This is a very good point, according to some denominations, once you are 'saved' you cannot lose your salvation no mater what. What are you planning on doing with this? I mean the idea of rapturing pagans who were christian at an early age would put enemy in his own camp wouldn't it? You could do something with this depending on where you are going in the end.

As to your original question, since I don't believe in the rapture, I am not going to treat it as such. I would respond in the same way I would to any SHTF/end of days scenario. I would respond to individual threats as they arose, while making my position as secure as possible.

[Lokabrenna]

Neat idea, to write it from the pagan perspective!


For me personally...eh. I guess it depends on if Jesus is taking anyone baptized in his name or just the true believers because I feel a lot of pagans were born into Christian families, or at least I was. If he's just taking the practicing Christians with him and leaving me on Earth, I can see myself going either the Dionysus route (nice suggestion!) or finding other survivors and building ourselves an ark in case Ragnarok happens next.

I should have mentioned this beforehand, but he's ONLY taking "true believers" (and children under the age of accountability, which is like, seven or something) the rest of us are screwed.

Basically imagine every single instance of "Rapture porn" at Fundies Say the Darndest Things and you have what I'm planning for this story, that includes gems like this:

http://www.fstdt.net/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=69729
http://www.fstdt.net/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=61877

Plus the myriad posts where people are actually celebrating because the wicked are suffering in Hell, but I can't find those right now. I personally think that's deplorable.

[Lokabrenna]

I should have mentioned this beforehand, but he's ONLY taking "true believers" (and children under the age of accountability, which is like, seven or something) the rest of us are screwed.

 
Forgot to add this, but thanks for suspending disbelief (for the most part) regarding the plausibility of the whole scenario. I asked some Christians the same question, and they're too busy telling me how unbiblical it is to answer the freakin' question!

Speculative fiction, have you heard of it?!

*grumbles* I need a cluebat I can use to thump people who just aren't getting it over the head.

[Faemon]

or finding other survivors and building ourselves an ark in case Ragnarok happens next.

That's an optimistic and awesome way of looking at it, thanks RL! If anything can happen, then everything might happen.

Permission aboard, Cap'n?

[mlr52]

*grumbles* I need a cluebat I can use to thump people who just aren't getting it over the head.

 
You will wear both the bat and your arm out, without making a dent.

[MadZealot]

I asked some Christians the same question, and they're too busy telling me how unbiblical it is to answer the freakin' question!

 
Wow, that's actually a bit sad.  

http://www.fstdt.net/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=69729
Jesus.

http://www.fstdt.net/QuoteComment.aspx?QID=61877
Christ.  

Plus the myriad posts where people are actually celebrating because the wicked are suffering in Hell, but I can't find those right now.

Uhh... Jesus' ministry was about Love, for Christ's sake.  
If there IS a hell, I'd like to think there is a special circle reserved for the hyper-pious hypocrites.  
I'd like to think that God possesses, in equal measures, a love for poetic justice and a zero tolerance for bullshit.

[sailor]

Forgot to add this, but thanks for suspending disbelief (for the most part) regarding the plausibility of the whole scenario. I asked some Christians the same question, and they're too busy telling me how unbiblical it is to answer the freakin' question!

Speculative fiction, have you heard of it?!

*grumbles* I need a cluebat I can use to thump people who just aren't getting it over the head.

 
As mentioned up thread, is only the Christian Rapture true or are all the other religious beliefs equally true?

If it's obvious that only the Christian Rapture is true, I'd expect most of the remaining people to convert to that form of Christianity.  It would no longer be a matter of faith, but of observation.

Hopefully you'll do a lot better than the Left Behind series.  Assuming the Rapture was true was the per-condition of the book, but the authors lacked imagination and plausibility for the actions afterwards.

[Melamphoros]

Hopefully you'll do a lot better than the Left Behind series.  Assuming the Rapture was true was the per-condition of the book, but the authors lacked imagination and plausibility for the actions afterwards.

 
I think a lot of that has to do with how the (de facto) target audience for that genre are those that believe in the Rapture.  The reader assumes they will end up getting sucked up into the sky and enjoys reading about how the unbelievers would get punished.  So it's basically the fundie Christian version of torture porn.

[StudiodeKadent]

For all intents and purposes, assume that the kind of pre-tribulation dispensationalist view of the Rapture happens (a la Left Behind). A bunch of Evangelical Christians suddenly disappear (good times, right?). Soon after, the world literally starts going to Hell in a handbasket, then Jesus shows up and is all: "Okay, now that most of you have died from the world going to shit, time for Judgement Day!" Somewhere in there is an epic battle of angels vs. demons.

What do you do?

The reason I ask is I'm thinking of writing a story about the Christian end times through Pagan eyes (kind of a deconstruction of the idea) so I want to make the reactions of the various characters as realistic as possible. So, what do you do? Hide? Fight? Just try to live your life? Do you accept the Mark of the Beast (you need it to conduct business)? Wonder if you've been deluded all this time?

First, this is a brilliant idea, absolutely. A wonderful premise for a fiction.

If you want to deconstruct the Fundie-Christian Rapture, I think a good place to start is with Christopher Hitchens' "Celestial North Korea" comment. If the Fundie Rapture happens (let's assume this is absolute proof that the Fundie worldview and cosmology is correct), what would this mean?

1) No one has ever had any privacy; every single thought you have made is known to God. Every single feeling.

2) God is so powerful that the laws of logic do not apply to him.

3) God totally gets off on inflicting eternal punishment.

4) Everyone is intrinsically evil at base. Man is a disgusting loathesome creature (original sin).

5) The only morally relevant decision you ever make is acceptance of salvation. As long as a murderer accepts salvation, well, yeah, no hell for the murderer!

6) In heaven, the Saved get to watch the torture of the Damned (this has been advocated by both Catholics and Protestants). And it makes the Saved feel better to see their unsaved relatives/friends/neighbours get tortured/raped with barbed wire/sewn into human centipedes/etc.

7) In heaven, there's no drinking, no drugs, no sex, no food, no gambling... just standing around God and ecstatically praising and serving him forever. This is considered the most amazing pleasure ever.

etc etc etc.
 
This kind of cosmology... this strikes me as worse than anything cooked up by H. P. Lovecraft. It is the ultimate Cosmic Horror Story. How could someone love a God that cooked up such a miserable cosmos? One could fear such a God easily, however.

Also, it would prove no free will. If the future is already set, what meaning is human agency?

In short... I'd accept the technical truth of Christianity, but the implications would be so horrifying I'd really lose the will to live. Too bad that there's immortality of the soul... for I'd rather not exist than live in the Fundie-Christian cosmos.

[StudiodeKadent]

I think a lot of that has to do with how the (de facto) target audience for that genre are those that believe in the Rapture.  The reader assumes they will end up getting sucked up into the sky and enjoys reading about how the unbelievers would get punished.  So it's basically the fundie Christian version of torture porn.

Agreed. This isn't new. Nietzsche argued the same thing, that hell is principally there to titilate the believer with a revenge fantasy (see On The Genealogy of Morality). In GM Nietzsche supplies us with this deliciously incriminating quote from St. Thomas Aquinas:

"In order that the bliss of the saints may be more delightful for them and that they may render more copious thanks to God for it, it is given to them to see perfectly the punishment of the damned" (Emphasis Added)