Looking for some help/info/direction about Empathic "Gifts"

[DancesWithHorses]

I've written this out a dozen times or so, and every time it just ends up being a vast torrent of words that likely would drown the casual reader. Going to try one last time, keep it as brief and to the point as possible, and just hit "Post" and if extra explanation is warranted or wanted, it can come later.

The basic gist is this - my mom's mom was an empath. So was her grandmother. And sadly, so am I. (Got another wallop from my dad's side of the family, but that's neither here nor there at the moment.)

 
I've been there. Not to that extreme and different but still one of the “Gifts.” The thing about gifts, they come and go. “Gift” in German means poison and I firmly believe that if I don't maintain some form of control over my gift, it will slowly poison me. I have a variety of methods. Right now, its dormant, thank the gods, I have enough other stuff to deal with. First, I use charms. All of mine were custom made by someone very well versed in the “Gifts” and in charms. Mine look like fancy gorgeous jewelry. Second, I constantly have music on. It keeps the “noise” out. And third, I used the tree mediation.

When I'm not a complete wreck, I have an impressive set of shields. It took me a long time to build them. I used to drink. A lot, especially in social situations. And it was like a magnet as it made me defenceless. And for me, the emotional hang-over was worse than the physical hangover. I kicked the drinking habit and worked on my shields (with the help of the same lady that made all my charms). Mediation, boundaries and in my case, a cleaning of my “friends” list helped build these shields. I also learned to store what I was picking up. I imagine rolling it all in a ball and then when I feel safe, I pass that ball off onto something or somewhere else.

[Fionnbharr]

I am definitely going to look into the charms, and as it seems to be the recurring suggestion for a good first step, I am definitely going to be working on learning how to find the lines between myself and others. If anyone has any good ideas on how some bumblebrained featherhead should go about learning how to shield, I would be grateful. Ideas on how to actually get my head to a place where I could even contemplate meditating would be amazing as well.

The best thing I can say about myself is that I am completely aware of how incredibly frelled I am. I have few, if any illusions about myself and I know that I'm actually starting more than a few yard under 'beginner'. The 'Gifts' (one grandmother left me with Empathy.... the other one dropped the Sight - by way of a clouded cataracted lens -  on my head) I have are no achievement of mine. Just twists of genes and/or fate. I feel lately like I've gotten somethings attention, but it is staring not at me, just some family blood. I know enough to know I don't know nearly enough, and that... something is headed my way and I HAVE to figure things out, learn and grab ahold of things. If I don't, I'm going to fail. What, I wish I knew. But I need to learn...

To be honest from my POV it sounds like you need yourself a serious healing. A cleaning out of the old energies within. The thing is that the more room we have within, the less troubled we are by others problems. It is something about learning when to be attached and when to be detached - the thing about learning where you end and others start is great knowledge to have in deducting your experiences. And sorry in advance if my words are a stream of ?? something I can't find the word for

If you ask me, the gifts are all achievements of you, the physical body you have as I see it might simply enable you to "easier" access these gift of yours, however that does not make them less your achievements. I think you have much about yourself to be proud of, the things you have overcome and the gifts you have had to struggle with, is not easy accomplishments. Personally I do not like the candy image of heroes, I like the imperfect image - that is true perfection in my eyes. We are all masterpieces, perfections of life in our own imperfect way

In the near future I am going to make some experiments with a button technique a gifted friend of mine showed me. The first one I wished to make was one about shielding I call the Shield of Athena - the basic of it is that I charge up an image with energy with x function (in this case shielding) and when someone else touches the image the energy should transfer to them and perform what it was designed to do. (If you are interested, please send a PM (basically any who is interested is welcome)).

When talking about meditation (the way where people sit down for what seem like endless periods of time) are like gibberish to me. I have one of those heads that will never ever shut the *beep* up. On the other hand when I occupy my head it seems to calm down, like when playing music on my guitar, writing, doing sports or simply taking a walk and the like - that is my kind of meditation and still is, even though one morning (when I thought my life could not get worse) when I woke up my head had cleared up. It still would not shut up, but somehow I had found a way to tune it out. How is still a great question mark though. I call it just throwing my thoughts back into my unconscious mind and then it gets to play with them (I have actually noticed my head deals better with my thoughts when I do not meddle), in the meantime I get some peace and quiet. Though on days I am upset, I still struggle with tuning it out... I seem to start rambling, hope you understand what I mean. Meditation can be many things, find the way it suits you best; which for some like me might change on a daily basis...

I agree baby steps is important, be patient. Hurry too much and you might just find yourself progressing far slower than if you had been patient. Also, the exercise about breathing all the way down can be quite valuable. I do it while watching TV (when I remember it). Sometimes I also do an exercise (I love) where I hum to the melody of a song, where the humming vibrates through my body and releases energy.

Hope any of my thoughts are of any use, if not then just let them be And by the way, I am also an Empath.

When you sleep, then how are your dreams? Do you have recurring nightmares?

[ALiteraryLady]

The best thing I can say about myself is that I am completely aware of how incredibly frelled I am. I have few, if any illusions about myself and I know that I'm actually starting more than a few yard under 'beginner'. The 'Gifts' (one grandmother left me with Empathy.... the other one dropped the Sight - by way of a clouded cataracted lens -  on my head) I have are no achievement of mine. Just twists of genes and/or fate. I feel lately like I've gotten somethings attention, but it is staring not at me, just some family blood. I know enough to know I don't know nearly enough, and that... something is headed my way and I HAVE to figure things out, learn and grab ahold of things. If I don't, I'm going to fail. What, I wish I knew. But I need to learn....

 
I think you're being way too hard on yourself with the whole "no achievements" aspect of this paragraph. You wake up on a day to day basis and try to the best of your ability to deal with your gifts. I'd take a moment to think of it this way, your empathy is yours; you may have gotten it from your grandmother, but your specific experience with it is going to be different that hers.

Also, there is something to be said that you can recognize that you have to figure this out since something is heading your way. I like the suggestion of a charm, and I think that if you try to find a group in your area that works with being more emotionally aware than the average bear, and really get in to handling the emotional overload, you'll be fine in the end.

[Katia]

I've written this out a dozen times or so, and every time it just ends up being a vast torrent of words that likely would drown the casual reader. Going to try one last time, keep it as brief and to the point as possible, and just hit "Post" and if extra explanation is warranted or wanted, it can come later.

The basic gist is this - my mom's mom was an empath. So was her grandmother. And sadly, so am I. (Got another wallop from my dad's side of the family, but that's neither here nor there at the moment.)

And frankly, it's becoming a problem. As in I'm well on my way to shut in with a load of cats and my knitting status. It manifests itself in 2 ways:

1) People tell me things. Pretty much all the time, anywhere I go. I've had people burst into tears at the grocery and begin to tell me their husband is cheating on them, that they had a few too many to drink and clipped a car and left without telling,  they think they might be gay, their hamster died, whatever. The running joke in my family is I should go get a job down in Langley. Forget waterboarding - me, a pot of tea, maybe some cookies? I will have the location of the bomb, the members of their cell, their mom's middle name, and the girl who broke their heart in the 4th grade in under an hour. I seem to generate this "Traveling Confessional, line starts here" field.

2) Part of it's my own fault - but it's not that I care that I ask people, that I reach out through the noise. If you lock someone who really doesn't like kids (but also isn't a psychopath) in a room with a screaming baby, they will pick the baby up and try to figure out how to calm it down. Not because they suddenly are filled with maternal instincts - but because they are getting a raging migraine and want. the. screaming. to. stop.

So much noise, so much... weight behind things. People just scream their emotions out it seems anymore and I'm... frankly, I'm struggling. I need to learn how to, if not shut it off, them at least turn the dial down. Learn how to use it when it's honestly time to do so. In situations where folks really truly need to talk something out and it will help, I want to help. I can't NOT help. It causes physical pain if I don't help. It's just there is so much... clutter and so many people who just grab hold and try to use me as their personal emotional trashcan. I attract a lot of emotionally greedy people and things would be a lot worse without my husband - he's as close to a null as I think a person can be. He's my mountain to hide in. My wall. But even he struggles under the tide lately, he's becoming a lot more aggressively protective and I know it's tough on him. I just don't really know where to look to learn how to deal with this 'Gift'.

Any suggestions, directions, shoves, or comments would be greatly appreciated. I tried going to a local coven after being invited by the head of the group. But by the end of the night, after wave after wave of out of nowhere revelations and secrets, she tried to pull me aside to talk about how to start handling thing. In the midst of that, the conversation began to shift, until she was talking about a fight she had with her husband and how her daughter has this cough she is worried about.... she stopped talking suddenly, looked totally freaked out, and then told me as nicely as it could be stated that I really needed to leave. That she was sorry, and I was a nice person and all, but I needed to leave. And not come back. That I would be a disruption to the rest and that I wasn't to return. Or contact the people in the coven. Which... yeah. Kinda needing some guidance here.

And yes. This IS the incredibly abbreviated version.

I bring an mp3 player with me...for the bus, for running errands at the grocery store etc. I don't listen to it ALWAYS, but if I am drained, I do - or if I don't want to interact as much that day.

Also - weighted blankets and weighted lap pads have helped me. They are calming - they help reduce stress, anxiety, and jitters in sensitive people with sensitive systems. You can buy them online. (Many people with autistic spectrum disorders use them, but they are great for general anxiety reduction).

I am working on improving my 'sleep hygiene' - getting to bed at the same time as much as possible (I take Valerian), and removing EMF's from my room. A body that is sleep deprived won't be able to cope as much.

Do you meditate?