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Author Topic: Looking for some help/info/direction about Empathic "Gifts"  (Read 1786 times)

BardicBird

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Looking for some help/info/direction about Empathic "Gifts"
« on: August 07, 2013, 09:55:59 pm »
I've written this out a dozen times or so, and every time it just ends up being a vast torrent of words that likely would drown the casual reader. Going to try one last time, keep it as brief and to the point as possible, and just hit "Post" and if extra explanation is warranted or wanted, it can come later.

The basic gist is this - my mom's mom was an empath. So was her grandmother. And sadly, so am I. (Got another wallop from my dad's side of the family, but that's neither here nor there at the moment.)

And frankly, it's becoming a problem. As in I'm well on my way to shut in with a load of cats and my knitting status. It manifests itself in 2 ways:

1) People tell me things. Pretty much all the time, anywhere I go. I've had people burst into tears at the grocery and begin to tell me their husband is cheating on them, that they had a few too many to drink and clipped a car and left without telling,  they think they might be gay, their hamster died, whatever. The running joke in my family is I should go get a job down in Langley. Forget waterboarding - me, a pot of tea, maybe some cookies? I will have the location of the bomb, the members of their cell, their mom's middle name, and the girl who broke their heart in the 4th grade in under an hour. I seem to generate this "Traveling Confessional, line starts here" field.

2) Part of it's my own fault - but it's not that I care that I ask people, that I reach out through the noise. If you lock someone who really doesn't like kids (but also isn't a psychopath) in a room with a screaming baby, they will pick the baby up and try to figure out how to calm it down. Not because they suddenly are filled with maternal instincts - but because they are getting a raging migraine and want. the. screaming. to. stop.

So much noise, so much... weight behind things. People just scream their emotions out it seems anymore and I'm... frankly, I'm struggling. I need to learn how to, if not shut it off, them at least turn the dial down. Learn how to use it when it's honestly time to do so. In situations where folks really truly need to talk something out and it will help, I want to help. I can't NOT help. It causes physical pain if I don't help. It's just there is so much... clutter and so many people who just grab hold and try to use me as their personal emotional trashcan. I attract a lot of emotionally greedy people and things would be a lot worse without my husband - he's as close to a null as I think a person can be. He's my mountain to hide in. My wall. But even he struggles under the tide lately, he's becoming a lot more aggressively protective and I know it's tough on him. I just don't really know where to look to learn how to deal with this 'Gift'.

Any suggestions, directions, shoves, or comments would be greatly appreciated. I tried going to a local coven after being invited by the head of the group. But by the end of the night, after wave after wave of out of nowhere revelations and secrets, she tried to pull me aside to talk about how to start handling thing. In the midst of that, the conversation began to shift, until she was talking about a fight she had with her husband and how her daughter has this cough she is worried about.... she stopped talking suddenly, looked totally freaked out, and then told me as nicely as it could be stated that I really needed to leave. That she was sorry, and I was a nice person and all, but I needed to leave. And not come back. That I would be a disruption to the rest and that I wasn't to return. Or contact the people in the coven. Which... yeah. Kinda needing some guidance here.

And yes. This IS the incredibly abbreviated version.
« Last Edit: August 07, 2013, 09:57:04 pm by BardicBird »
Marching to a whole different kettle of fish.

WhisperWillow

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Re: Looking for some help/info/direction about Empathic "Gifts"
« Reply #1 on: August 07, 2013, 10:26:12 pm »
Quote from: BardicBird;118344


Any suggestions, directions, shoves, or comments would be greatly appreciated. I tried going to a local coven after being invited by the head of the group. But by the end of the night, after wave after wave of out of nowhere revelations and secrets, she tried to pull me aside to talk about how to start handling thing. In the midst of that, the conversation began to shift, until she was talking about a fight she had with her husband and how her daughter has this cough she is worried about.... she stopped talking suddenly, looked totally freaked out, and then told me as nicely as it could be stated that I really needed to leave. That she was sorry, and I was a nice person and all, but I needed to leave. And not come back. That I would be a disruption to the rest and that I wasn't to return. Or contact the people in the coven. Which... yeah. Kinda needing some guidance here.

And yes. This IS the incredibly abbreviated version.

 
First off, I'm so sorry! :( Having struggled most of my life with empathy and/or clairsentience, I have a feeling what a burden it can be at times.

Three immediate things come to mind for me:
1) Shielding/grounding - If I don't do some sort of shielding and grounding (for me, it involved calling on Archangel Michael, my guides, and any entities who will act for my highest good), I am a mess all day long (and, usually, have to spend all day getting rid of other peoples' gunk). I don't know what your experiential level is, or if shielding, grounding, and/or centering is a regular part of your daily routine, but that would be my first suggestion.

2) Turn it off - Maybe I'm being oversimplified, but as a natural empath myself, there are days when I "shut down". I was in group therapy for a while, and shutting down was so absolutely essential to my survival. It's a little hard to explain, but it's not unlike an extension of shielding. I essentially put up a wall, and intend that I will not let anybody's "stuff" through.

3) Boundaries - This may require a close friend you trust or a counselor but, how are you with them? I'm not necessarily speaking in the energetic sense, but in general. Can you say "No" easily, be comfortable not being responsible for others, etc? For me, at least, working on my weak/non existent boundaries - which was definitely tied up in my self-esteem - did wonders for my health as an individual as well as my own overactive empathy

(Also this site: http://www.psychicbutsane.com/empathy/how-to-turn-off-overactive-empathy was a wonderful resource for me while I was struggling with this)

AncientMystic

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Looking for some help/info/direction about Empathic "Gifts"
« Reply #2 on: August 07, 2013, 10:28:12 pm »
Eventually you learn to ignore it. I had to. It sucks and it takes time. Once you figure it out people leave you alone unless you decide to let them tell you. I know I'm not much help but that's what I had to do. I've been running a long the side of shamanism and druidry and seems you may be the same. Our job is to listen and help. Sorry to say it, but eventually you'll get past it.

Laveth

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Re: Looking for some help/info/direction about Empathic "Gifts"
« Reply #3 on: August 08, 2013, 12:04:40 am »
Quote from: AncientMystic;118347
Eventually you learn to ignore it. I had to. It sucks and it takes time. Once you figure it out people leave you alone unless you decide to let them tell you. I know I'm not much help but that's what I had to do. I've been running a long the side of shamanism and druidry and seems you may be the same. Our job is to listen and help. Sorry to say it, but eventually you'll get past it.

 
26 years and I have never been able to 'learn to ignore it.' If I force myself to ignore it, it just comes back with a vengeance and permeates every waking and sleeping second of my life until I give it the attention it wants.

I'll post later when I'm not so exhausted. Sorry, did a closing to opening to a 3 hour break to a closing and opening again tomorrow, plus volunteering right after work and then back to work 12 hours after that. :P But I will post soon!

One thing that really works for me, and often instantly... brace yourself for it... pretend you're a tree. Get into a meditative sense, pretend your feet are actually roots, pretend your body is the trunk, and pretend your arms are the branches reaching upwards to the other realms.

I don't know why, but after I started spending a lot of time with the pine tree in my backyard (yes, I'm a tree hugging nut. deal with it), it kind of came to me and the calm I feel with that tree transfers into my own meditative images of tree-dom.

I know, I probably sound like a crazy person, but give it a shot. Try doing it outside near a tree first (if you're into the plant thing anyway).

I'll try to get back here soon with more brainpower and see if the other things that have given me marginal success over the years may be useful. :)

AncientMystic

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Looking for some help/info/direction about Empathic "Gifts"
« Reply #4 on: August 08, 2013, 12:15:17 am »
26 years and I have never been able to 'learn to ignore it.' If I force myself to ignore it, it just comes back with a vengeance and permeates every waking and sleeping second of my life until I give it the attention it wants.

I'll post later when I'm not so exhausted. Sorry, did a closing to opening to a 3 hour break to a closing and opening again tomorrow, plus volunteering right after work and then back to work 12 hours after that.  But I will post soon!

One thing that really works for me, and often instantly... brace yourself for it... pretend you're a tree. Get into a meditative sense, pretend your feet are actually roots, pretend your body is the trunk, and pretend your arms are the branches reaching upwards to the other realms.

I don't know why, but after I started spending a lot of time with the pine tree in my backyard (yes, I'm a tree hugging nut. deal with it), it kind of came to me and the calm I feel with that tree transfers into my own meditative images of tree-dom.

I know, I probably sound like a crazy person, but give it a shot. Try doing it outside near a tree first (if you're into the plant thing anyway).

I'll try to get back here soon with more brainpower and see if the other things that have given me marginal success over the years may be useful. 
Sorry to say it but tour proving my point. A tree listens but doesn't care. It serves its purpose. Its all it knows. J had to learn to "shut off" what we share. It takes time. It took me almost 10 yes to get it. I'm 23 about to be 24. I started when j was 12. Just old enough to comprehend everything. That's when I started trying to find a way to stop hearing everyone's else's problems. We have our own. Sharing in someone else's who doesn't hear ours only posses more stress for us. I have a tendency to drink a lot. I mean a lot, a lot. Half a gallon every night. That's just to be able to sleep because my mind can't understand everything. The heart burn sucks but I do what I have to to make sure I don't hear anything. Even though the dreams are more vivid. I follow the shamanistic and druidry path so no matter what I do, I still have intense dreams and "nightmares." It comes with the territory. I'll help the best I can but there isn't much anyone can do. I had an extension of help. I went the Marine Corp and learned everything. It sucks. Again I'll help all I can. Just ask and I'll give all I can.

stephyjh

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Re: Looking for some help/info/direction about Empathic "Gifts"
« Reply #5 on: August 08, 2013, 12:59:36 am »
Quote from: Laveth;118359
26 years and I have never been able to 'learn to ignore it.' If I force myself to ignore it, it just comes back with a vengeance and permeates every waking and sleeping second of my life until I give it the attention it wants.

I'll post later when I'm not so exhausted. Sorry, did a closing to opening to a 3 hour break to a closing and opening again tomorrow, plus volunteering right after work and then back to work 12 hours after that. :P But I will post soon!

One thing that really works for me, and often instantly... brace yourself for it... pretend you're a tree. Get into a meditative sense, pretend your feet are actually roots, pretend your body is the trunk, and pretend your arms are the branches reaching upwards to the other realms.

I don't know why, but after I started spending a lot of time with the pine tree in my backyard (yes, I'm a tree hugging nut. deal with it), it kind of came to me and the calm I feel with that tree transfers into my own meditative images of tree-dom.

I know, I probably sound like a crazy person, but give it a shot. Try doing it outside near a tree first (if you're into the plant thing anyway).

I'll try to get back here soon with more brainpower and see if the other things that have given me marginal success over the years may be useful. :)


The tree thing helps me, too. It's like I can sort of drain the excess out through the roots, and I can filter it out into the earth. There are times, though, when I just have to find a big oak or maple and just sit and hang out. That's something I've done since I was a kid, though, because growing up in a house where there was always a fight, the trees were comforting, even before I was pagan.

I would also suggest eating something or cuddling with a pet when it gets to be too much. Both are grounding actions, especially if the pet is a cat.
A heretic blast has been blown in the west,
That what is no sense must be nonsense.

-Robert Burns

AncientMystic

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Looking for some help/info/direction about Empathic "Gifts"
« Reply #6 on: August 08, 2013, 01:34:40 am »
The tree thing helps me, too. It's like I can sort of drain the excess out through the roots, and I can filter it out into the earth. There are times, though, when I just have to find a big oak or maple and just sit and hang out. That's something I've done since I was a kid, though, because growing up in a house where there was always a fight, the trees were comforting, even before I was pagan.

I would also suggest eating something or cuddling with a pet when it gets to be too much. Both are grounding actions, especially if the pet is a cat.

I'm gonna have trance this. Never, ever have I had to think this. The only thing I can come I can with at the moment, heads up I've been drinking since 4pm EST, is that it ties you to mother earth. The roots taking away your stress and giving you peace of mind while she figures if out. I'll get back to you on this within 72 hours. Surely I can find a reason.

stephyjh

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Re: Looking for some help/info/direction about Empathic "Gifts"
« Reply #7 on: August 08, 2013, 02:18:42 am »
Quote from: AncientMystic;118363
The tree thing helps me, too. It's like I can sort of drain the excess out through the roots, and I can filter it out into the earth. There are times, though, when I just have to find a big oak or maple and just sit and hang out. That's something I've done since I was a kid, though, because growing up in a house where there was always a fight, the trees were comforting, even before I was pagan.

I would also suggest eating something or cuddling with a pet when it gets to be too much. Both are grounding actions, especially if the pet is a cat.

I'm gonna have trance this. Never, ever have I had to think this. The only thing I can come I can with at the moment, heads up I've been drinking since 4pm EST, is that it ties you to mother earth. The roots taking away your stress and giving you peace of mind while she figures if out. I'll get back to you on this within 72 hours. Surely I can find a reason.


It worries me that you say you're drinking that much instead of learning to actually process what you're absorbing, filter out what you don't want or can't handle, and moderate your own intake. I know a lot of people, like my mother, who ended up with very serious drinking problems rather than dealing with what entered their heads. That's not a healthy way to self-medicate. I would caution you to be extremely careful with that.
A heretic blast has been blown in the west,
That what is no sense must be nonsense.

-Robert Burns

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Re: Looking for some help/info/direction about Empathic "Gifts"
« Reply #8 on: August 08, 2013, 04:03:09 am »
Quote from: BardicBird;118344



Oh yag, that sounds like a pretty annoying level of being-open you have there.

If you become more aware of yourself, your center and your boundaries, that'll help a lot. First step is to learn, where you end and where the other person starts. Make the phrase 'Not my monkey, not my circus' a mantra. ;)

You also can train to pull your auric field closer to your body, so that you don't catch up on every emotion of every person that passes by. This is the reverse step of learning to open up, because there you widen this field to pick up on the environment.

Active shielding and centering has already been suggested.
I'd also recommend to carry little charms with you, which can deflect the incoming information. Mirror-like things, polished black obsidian for ex. Another good shield is black tourmaline.
\'You had to repay, good or bad. There was more than one type of obligation.
That’s what people never really understood.….Things had to balance.
You couldn’t set out to be a good witch or a bad witch. It never worked out for long.
All you could try to be was a witch, as hard as you could.\'
Terry Pratchett \'Lords and Ladies\'

Confuzzled and proud. :p

Huginn

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Re: Looking for some help/info/direction about Empathic "Gifts"
« Reply #9 on: August 08, 2013, 01:28:56 pm »
Quote from: BardicBird;118344
1) People tell me things. Pretty much all the time, anywhere I go. I've had people burst into tears at the grocery and begin to tell me their husband is cheating on them, that they had a few too many to drink and clipped a car and left without telling,  they think they might be gay, their hamster died, whatever. The running joke in my family is I should go get a job down in Langley. Forget waterboarding - me, a pot of tea, maybe some cookies? I will have the location of the bomb, the members of their cell, their mom's middle name, and the girl who broke their heart in the 4th grade in under an hour. I seem to generate this "Traveling Confessional, line starts here" field.

2) Part of it's my own fault - but it's not that I care that I ask people, that I reach out through the noise. If you lock someone who really doesn't like kids (but also isn't a psychopath) in a room with a screaming baby, they will pick the baby up and try to figure out how to calm it down. Not because they suddenly are filled with maternal instincts - but because they are getting a raging migraine and want. the. screaming. to. stop.

So much noise, so much... weight behind things. People just scream their emotions out it seems anymore and I'm... frankly, I'm struggling. I need to learn how to, if not shut it off, them at least turn the dial down. Learn how to use it when it's honestly time to do so. In situations where folks really truly need to talk something out and it will help, I want to help. I can't NOT help. It causes physical pain if I don't help. It's just there is so much... clutter and so many people who just grab hold and try to use me as their personal emotional trashcan. I attract a lot of emotionally greedy people and things would be a lot worse without my husband - he's as close to a null as I think a person can be. He's my mountain to hide in. My wall. But even he struggles under the tide lately, he's becoming a lot more aggressively protective and I know it's tough on him. I just don't really know where to look to learn how to deal with this 'Gift'.

Any suggestions, directions, shoves, or comments would be greatly appreciated. I tried going to a local coven after being invited by the head of the group. But by the end of the night, after wave after wave of out of nowhere revelations and secrets, she tried to pull me aside to talk about how to start handling thing. In the midst of that, the conversation began to shift, until she was talking about a fight she had with her husband and how her daughter has this cough she is worried about.... she stopped talking suddenly, looked totally freaked out, and then told me as nicely as it could be stated that I really needed to leave. That she was sorry, and I was a nice person and all, but I needed to leave. And not come back. That I would be a disruption to the rest and that I wasn't to return. Or contact the people in the coven. Which... yeah. Kinda needing some guidance here.

And yes. This IS the incredibly abbreviated version.

 

Yeah, I've been there. People in crisis just find me somehow, and tell me all their problems. I've had people confide in me about drinking problems, suicide attempts, fetishes of abusive exes, and all manner of emotional chaos. And you walk into a room and pick everything up.

And the compulsion to "help" is always there too, but it saps the hell out of you in the process.

I agree with several of the previous posts. Shielding helps a lot, just to filter out the stuff you don't want to feel or deal with. Grounding is always good. The tree meditation works very well for me. I'd experiment with those.

Tana recommended carrying "charms" with you, and I agree. I've had good results from hematite. Use it to just ground out the junk coming your way.

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Re: Looking for some help/info/direction about Empathic "Gifts"
« Reply #10 on: August 09, 2013, 11:29:00 am »
Quote from: AncientMystic;118360
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Re: Looking for some help/info/direction about Empathic "Gifts"
« Reply #11 on: August 09, 2013, 11:29:56 am »
Quote from: AncientMystic;118363
The tree thing helps me, too. It's like I can sort of drain the excess out through the roots, and I can filter it out into the earth. There are times, though, when I just have to find a big oak or maple and just sit and hang out. That's something I've done since I was a kid, though, because growing up in a house where there was always a fight, the trees were comforting, even before I was pagan.

I would also suggest eating something or cuddling with a pet when it gets to be too much. Both are grounding actions, especially if the pet is a cat.

I'm gonna have trance this. Never, ever have I had to think this. The only thing I can come I can with at the moment, heads up I've been drinking since 4pm EST, is that it ties you to mother earth. The roots taking away your stress and giving you peace of mind while she figures if out. I'll get back to you on this within 72 hours. Surely I can find a reason.

*** MOD HAT ON ***
You have been told repeated to follow our rules about quoting. This  includes keeping the autogenerated quote BBCode intact. If you are  using tapatalk and cannot figure out how to quote properly with  Tapatalk, STOP USING TAPATALK to reply to messages. There is NO excuse  for not quoting properly -- especially as many times as we have reminded  you to do so -- including one reminder in a PM that even explained how  to do it in Tapatalk (if that is what you are using) so we could be sure  you were seeing the reminder. Start quoting correctly or you will be  banned as rude and annoying. This is a formal warning -- but it still counts as your first.
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Laveth

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Re: Looking for some help/info/direction about Empathic "Gifts"
« Reply #12 on: August 09, 2013, 01:05:43 pm »
Quote from: AncientMystic;118360

Sorry to say it but tour proving my point. A tree listens but doesn't care. It serves its purpose. Its all it knows. J had to learn to "shut off" what we share. It takes time. It took me almost 10 yes to get it. I'm 23 about to be 24. I started when j was 12. Just old enough to comprehend everything. That's when I started trying to find a way to stop hearing everyone's else's problems. We have our own. Sharing in someone else's who doesn't hear ours only posses more stress for us. I have a tendency to drink a lot. I mean a lot, a lot. Half a gallon every night. That's just to be able to sleep because my mind can't understand everything. The heart burn sucks but I do what I have to to make sure I don't hear anything. Even though the dreams are more vivid. I follow the shamanistic and druidry path so no matter what I do, I still have intense dreams and "nightmares." It comes with the territory. I'll help the best I can but there isn't much anyone can do. I had an extension of help. I went the Marine Corp and learned everything. It sucks. Again I'll help all I can. Just ask and I'll give all I can.

 
Ok so that took me a good few minutes to sort your quote from my quote...

You think all a tree knows is itself? That they 'shut off?'

I'm sorry hon, but I entirely disagree. Trees live for hundreds of years and they are connected with everything, they see things long term and in the long-run a lot of the little things we freak out over are actually pretty unimportant. That connectivity and understanding is what brings me ease. Plus when I'm nearby my pine there's almost like a protective bubble around it where the air becomes still, even though I live in the middle of a suburb near a major street.


The fact that you say you know/comprehend everything because of your age and the marines; but that you drink a lot to be able to sleep at night... That is a huge red flag. You really may want to talk to someone about that. Bottling up your feelings is never a solution, even if it's hard to do sometimes it is worthwhile.

Most nights I have to spend a good hour just going through my day and processing my emotions and the events that happened. At my volunteer center, we process down with the trained counselors on staff after our shifts. It's a form of self-care and it is very necessary for your personal health.

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Re: Looking for some help/info/direction about Empathic "Gifts"
« Reply #13 on: August 10, 2013, 12:32:11 am »
Quote from: Tana;118374
Oh yag, that sounds like a pretty annoying level of being-open you have there.

If you become more aware of yourself, your center and your boundaries, that'll help a lot. First step is to learn, where you end and where the other person starts. Make the phrase 'Not my monkey, not my circus' a mantra. ;)

You also can train to pull your auric field closer to your body, so that you don't catch up on every emotion of every person that passes by. This is the reverse step of learning to open up, because there you widen this field to pick up on the environment.

Active shielding and centering has already been suggested.
I'd also recommend to carry little charms with you, which can deflect the incoming information. Mirror-like things, polished black obsidian for ex. Another good shield is black tourmaline.

 
While I need to reply (or do I mean acknowledge? Argle, my brain is a bit of a tangle. I'm going to just go ahead and state now that the reason for my slothful responding to a page I started is I have a double ear infection at the moment coupled with a busted eardrum so I'm a bit wibbly wobbly on both my feet AND my verbal abilities - spoken and written. So I'll ask for forgiveness now in case I forget someone, something, or just fumble about trying to answer. I'm a featherhead at the best of times - when you add antibiotics and pain killers... a tangled tongue gets a tangled BRAIN joining it.) to quite a lot, your response made me giggle - your
Quote
"Not my monkey, not my circus"
mantra suggestion is pretty close to something held tightly too in my home already. We just use "Not My Yak" instead. (The idea being that while, yes, we all have yaks, and sometimes yaks will run amok, we also know our yaks from other yaks - as yaks are rather too large of a critter to mistake one from the other. I'm responsible for my yak, and if it runs amok, I'm responsible. But I'm only responsible for my yak - and that, whatever random hysterical thing that just tore up the rose bushes, most definitely is not my yak. And there is no room in my house - or in the case where this usually crops up the most, no room in my yurt while at a reenactment event - for strangers to drag their yak in and demand I take care of it.) So it's good to know that others have had to find their own "Nope, that isn't MY issue, sorry!" versions!

One of the biggest issues I'm trying to tackle is learning HOW to actually shield. A good chunk of my survival for a very long time was based, as backwards as it sounds, on beating down even the barest whisper of a shield and making sure I stay wide open. Knowing the emotional temperature of rooms before I went in, knowing where people where, how close to igniting they were, and maintaining a constant awareness was vital. An outsider looking over the situations would have said I was an innocent who was abused, but... I don't think I ~was~ ever innocent. There are situations that, if I look at them objectively, there is no rational reason to how I handled things. Points of abuse I knew were going to happen, and for whatever it is that makes me me, I made choices that, frankly, there is no way I should have understood there WAS a choice to be made, let alone how to make it. But I did. I feel like I should state here that I'm no hero, I have never been some shining stalwart soul choosing to save others by throwing myself on a grenade. It was simply that knowing and doing what I did, from what feels like diapers on, was always... manipulated by me to figure out the best outcome, even if best was still pretty bad. If I allowed one thing to happen to me (and as I have always been able to shut off MY reactions to what is going on in the moment and be... elsewhere until it's over, it could be worse) in a controlled manner - it kept worse from happening. I could keep the focus on me, react in such a way as to shunt things away... where if I avoided it and allowed others instead to be in the front, they would, well. Act like frightened children and the likelihood of surviving was far worse. It's that being locked in a room with a screaming baby thing again. Might not like babies, but you want your head to stop pounding so you manage. Might not want what is about to happen to happen, but you want to survive and this makes that happen.

I really hope this is at least vaguely understandable. And I am struggling because a big part of me is aware that, to some, the above can be construed as somewhat horrifying and more than a little manipulative. It's just... it is what it has to be. The ability to sense other emotions does come with the ability to see how to manipulate that. Now, as an adult, I try to avoid that as much as possible, but in times of extreme need (if a situation is becoming dangerous, I WILL use it.) the option is one I have to admit to using. And because of that past... I just have never learned how to shield - properly or improperly - and I have never learned how to just... be. Can't sit still to save my life, and 3 hours of sleep at a stretch is considered a pretty amazing run at rest!

I am definitely going to look into the charms, and as it seems to be the recurring suggestion for a good first step, I am definitely going to be working on learning how to find the lines between myself and others. If anyone has any good ideas on how some bumblebrained featherhead should go about learning how to shield, I would be grateful. Ideas on how to actually get my head to a place where I could even contemplate meditating would be amazing as well.

The best thing I can say about myself is that I am completely aware of how incredibly frelled I am. I have few, if any illusions about myself and I know that I'm actually starting more than a few yard under 'beginner'. The 'Gifts' (one grandmother left me with Empathy.... the other one dropped the Sight - by way of a clouded cataracted lens -  on my head) I have are no achievement of mine. Just twists of genes and/or fate. I feel lately like I've gotten somethings attention, but it is staring not at me, just some family blood. I know enough to know I don't know nearly enough, and that... something is headed my way and I HAVE to figure things out, learn and grab ahold of things. If I don't, I'm going to fail. What, I wish I knew. But I need to learn...

just not sure how to start. Even the basics people talk about like shielding and meditating are merely words and abstract concepts. They don't ring any real bells in my head. Wish they did.

And with that, I'm making myself stop and just hit submit or I'll delete this all again and never get anywhere.
Marching to a whole different kettle of fish.

Tana

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Re: Looking for some help/info/direction about Empathic "Gifts"
« Reply #14 on: August 10, 2013, 01:39:18 pm »
Quote from: BardicBird;118561

And with that, I'm making myself stop and just hit submit or I'll delete this all again and never get anywhere.


This is one of those posts, where I really wish I wouldn't be limited to answer by writing and the webz, but could sit down with you, having a tea and chat for several hours.

First: Hope you feel better soon, ear pain sucks.
Second: I like the Yak thing.

Third: Hooboy, that's a lot to address here, don't know I can without missing things.

The first thing I want to say to you: stop thinking of yourself as a horrible person for doing, what you needed to do to survive. Really don't do it. Human beings manipulate each other all the freaking time, with the tools they have at their bidding, it's also called living together.

I'll try to give advice on this by ... don't know, turning around my experiences and go from there? The more common thing that I did (and I know a lot of people do) is learning to shut down their psychic and other more sensitive senses. Either in order to fit in the expectations of others, or to save themselves from the onslaught of emotions left and right.

This being said the answer for you might be: babysteps.
Meditation is not required to be a thing that is done three hours straight. But it can be three minutes. Shielding is - imho - somewhat overrated in the ways of building intricrate designed constructs of the mind. If your auric field is 'maintained'', it'll do most of the shielding by itself. And 'maintaining' can be as easy as breathing consciously.

Since of the issues you mentioned considering all these nifty ;) spiritual things, allow me to suggest something simple. How long is the amount of time, you think you can spend focused in one sitting? 1 minute? 2 minutes? How about 90 seconds for a start?

Get some online timer, set it for 90 seconds, most of them have an alarm that sounds at the end of the time - then close your eyes and just breathe. Focus on the way your breath flows naturally. Watch it, how does it flow? Are you breathing from your belly or are you breathing more 'on top of your lungs'? And this is the first session. Nothing more.

The next step could be to deepen the breath, draw it from deeper down and then the next step trying to slow it down. Slowed down breathing, lowers the heart beat rate and calms down.

Try it, if you like, and take as much sessions as you need. :)
You know, you don't have to fulfill other folks' standard of meditation, or whatever - you are unique and your practice should be just as unique. Also, feel free to PM me.
\'You had to repay, good or bad. There was more than one type of obligation.
That’s what people never really understood.….Things had to balance.
You couldn’t set out to be a good witch or a bad witch. It never worked out for long.
All you could try to be was a witch, as hard as you could.\'
Terry Pratchett \'Lords and Ladies\'

Confuzzled and proud. :p

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