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Author Topic: Leaving the broom closet  (Read 2316 times)

Myst Moonlight

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Leaving the broom closet
« on: April 06, 2014, 02:00:00 pm »
I am carefully considering coming out of the broom closet.

Reasons I should: Honesty with my family, the freedom to practice openly, the ability to freely seek contact with others.

Reasons why I Should'nt: mostly fear. My family are devoute baptist christians, I'm afraid they will kick me out or destroy all my books and suplies. Even if not they might spend the rest of their lives believing I'll go to hell.

Any advise? Please post.

mlr52

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Re: Leaving the broom closet
« Reply #1 on: April 06, 2014, 02:07:05 pm »
Quote from: Myst Moonlight;144557
I am carefully considering coming out of the broom closet.

Reasons I should: Honesty with my family, the freedom to practice openly, the ability to freely seek contact with others.

Reasons why I Should'nt: mostly fear. My family are devoute baptist christians, I'm afraid they will kick me out or destroy all my books and suplies. Even if not they might spend the rest of their lives believing I'll go to hell.

Any advise? Please post.

 
If you realy think they will destory your books and suplies, store what you can in a safe place until after their reaction.
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Aisling

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Re: Leaving the broom closet
« Reply #2 on: April 06, 2014, 02:20:22 pm »
Quote from: Myst Moonlight;144557
I am carefully considering coming out of the broom closet.

Reasons I should: Honesty with my family, the freedom to practice openly, the ability to freely seek contact with others.

Reasons why I Should'nt: mostly fear. My family are devoute baptist christians, I'm afraid they will kick me out or destroy all my books and suplies. Even if not they might spend the rest of their lives believing I'll go to hell.

Any advise? Please post.

 
Speaking from a practical standpoint, are you able to support yourself in the event that they do kick you out?  If you're dependent upon them for support, it's probably best not to bite the hand that feeds you.
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Jenett

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Re: Leaving the broom closet
« Reply #3 on: April 06, 2014, 02:58:37 pm »
Quote from: Myst Moonlight;144557
I am carefully considering coming out of the broom closet.

Reasons I should: Honesty with my family, the freedom to practice openly, the ability to freely seek contact with others.

Reasons why I Should'nt: mostly fear. My family are devoute baptist christians, I'm afraid they will kick me out or destroy all my books and suplies. Even if not they might spend the rest of their lives believing I'll go to hell.

Any advise? Please post.


It is vastly easier to navigate coming out to people who may react badly if you are not dependent on them for basic life needs. (i.e. if you are not sharing living space with them, sharing food expenses or transportation, dependent on them for educational expenses, etc.)

The best advice in such cases is to focus on getting to a place where you can live independently (which might mean 'with a roommate somewhere cheap'), have money in the bank so you're not dependent on them financially, and *then* tell them. If things go badly, you can then afford to take your time, get needed space, and protect yourself and your belongings.

The question isn't "Is being out worth it". The question is "Is coming out *right now* worth it, or will it be better all round if I wait until I'm not dependent on them and the dynamics in our relationship change?"
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NiDara

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Re: Leaving the broom closet
« Reply #4 on: April 06, 2014, 03:30:39 pm »
Quote from: Myst Moonlight;144557
I am carefully considering coming out of the broom closet.

Reasons I should: Honesty with my family, the freedom to practice openly, the ability to freely seek contact with others.

Reasons why I Should'nt: mostly fear. My family are devoute baptist christians, I'm afraid they will kick me out or destroy all my books and suplies. Even if not they might spend the rest of their lives believing I'll go to hell.

Any advise? Please post.


I understand why you want to come out of the closet, and it's perfectly valid to want to have that freedom to practice freely. However, I agree with the advice given in the thread so far. Think about your situation before making rush decisions. Best wishes.

Oíche

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Re: Leaving the broom closet
« Reply #5 on: April 06, 2014, 03:55:52 pm »
Quote from: Myst Moonlight;144557
I am carefully considering coming out of the broom closet.

Reasons I should: Honesty with my family, the freedom to practice openly, the ability to freely seek contact with others.

Reasons why I Should'nt: mostly fear. My family are devoute baptist christians, I'm afraid they will kick me out or destroy all my books and suplies. Even if not they might spend the rest of their lives believing I'll go to hell.

Any advise? Please post.

 
If you are still dependent on them I would not say anything. Wait and work towards gaining your own financial and living independence first- trust me, it's worth it.
Personally, I don't think it's worth it to cause yourself trouble and hardship for something that really isn't their business anyway ;)
Seriously, I think it's something that can wait- I did and it was the best decision.
'You're my friend, and I love you- but you really look like a witch!!'

Myst Moonlight

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Re: Leaving the broom closet
« Reply #6 on: April 07, 2014, 08:52:47 am »
Quote from: Cág;144572
If you are still dependent on them I would not say anything. Wait and work towards gaining your own financial and living independence first- trust me, it's worth it.
Personally, I don't think it's worth it to cause yourself trouble and hardship for something that really isn't their business anyway ;)
Seriously, I think it's something that can wait- I did and it was the best decision.

 
Thank you everyone. i will wait until I am independent. However what do I do if they discover it in the meantime. I disguise the purpose for having my books and tarot cards as interest. But If they were to discover my book of shadows I would be in trouble.

Sisu

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Re: Leaving the broom closet
« Reply #7 on: April 07, 2014, 09:30:39 am »
Quote from: Myst Moonlight;144643
Thank you everyone. i will wait until I am independent. However what do I do if they discover it in the meantime. I disguise the purpose for having my books and tarot cards as interest. But If they were to discover my book of shadows I would be in trouble.

 
When I was trying to hide my pagan paraphernalia from my partner (mostly because at that time I was still new to my practice and didn't want to get into a long discussion about something I didn't fully grasp yet), I hid my wand, incense, and stones in a small box in my underwear drawer.

My BOS is on my laptop, which no one else has access to, but if you have shared access on a family computer, there's always the option to password protect files. My mother knew about (and even somewhat supported, despite the fact she's gone on to become a devout Baptist herself) my interest in the occult from a young age so having the books/cards around wasn't much of a problem, but having a personal diary was out of the question since I knew how nosy she was. Therefore I never considered a physical BOS, and if your family is anything like mine, it may be better to forgo it until you move out unless you have someplace you absolutely know no one will find it.

My family became increasingly religious as I got older and such interests wouldn't be tolerated now, especially since one of my brothers got involved in a "Satanic" cult a few years ago. Sometimes when you're still living with people who you have a strong suspicion will not accept your lifestyle/beliefs and could make your life hell, it's not worth starting a shitstorm just yet.

Allaya

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Re: Leaving the broom closet
« Reply #8 on: April 07, 2014, 10:25:44 am »
Quote from: Sisu;144649
My BOS is on my laptop, which no one else has access to, but if you have shared access on a family computer, there's always the option to password protect files. My mother knew about (and even somewhat supported, despite the fact she's gone on to become a devout Baptist herself) my interest in the occult from a young age so having the books/cards around wasn't much of a problem, but having a personal diary was out of the question since I knew how nosy she was. Therefore I never considered a physical BOS, and if your family is anything like mine, it may be better to forgo it until you move out unless you have someplace you absolutely know no one will find it.


This is going to sound like a shill* but I wholeheartedly recommend Penzu.com as a way of safely writing and storing journals away from prying eyes. Free accounts can be passworded as well as have individual entry locks. Paid accounts can be encrypted via 256-bit AES. Their privacy policy is simple and serious. I really respect them for that.

You can access your journals from anywhere there is internet and leave no trace of them on your laptop. But, should you wish to download them...that option is available.

*I'm just a really happy customer with two paid accounts. No other affiliation.
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Myst Moonlight

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Re: Leaving the broom closet
« Reply #9 on: April 07, 2014, 11:10:30 am »
Quote from: Sisu;144649
My BOS is on my laptop, which no one else has access to, but if you have shared access on a family computer, there's always the option to password protect files. My mother knew about (and even somewhat supported, despite the fact she's gone on to become a devout Baptist herself) my interest in the occult from a young age so having the books/cards around wasn't much of a problem, but having a personal diary was out of the question since I knew how nosy she was. Therefore I never considered a physical BOS, and if your family is anything like mine, it may be better to forgo it until you move out unless you have someplace you absolutely know no one will find it.

 
I'm afraid it is far to late for that, I've kept a physical BOS since the begining, around ten years ago. I't is well hidden, but I am always worried that someone will go snooping

Sisu

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Re: Leaving the broom closet
« Reply #10 on: April 07, 2014, 11:51:55 am »
Quote from: Allaya;144653
This is going to sound like a shill* but I wholeheartedly recommend Penzu.com as a way of safely writing and storing journals away from prying eyes. Free accounts can be passworded as well as have individual entry locks. Paid accounts can be encrypted via 256-bit AES. Their privacy policy is simple and serious. I really respect them for that.

You can access your journals from anywhere there is internet and leave no trace of them on your laptop. But, should you wish to download them...that option is available.

*I'm just a really happy customer with two paid accounts. No other affiliation.

 
That's an interesting suggestion. Currently I use Evernote for my BOS since its tagging features are super helpful for me (keeping track of things quickly becomes a hot mess for me otherwise), and like your service, it can be accessed from anywhere (though I think if you're using the software instead of the internet interface, you are leaving evidence of your activities around potentially).

If I were using a publicly accessible pc, it's something I would consider.

HarpingHawke

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Re: Leaving the broom closet
« Reply #11 on: April 07, 2014, 11:53:45 am »
Quote from: Sisu;144660
That's an interesting suggestion. Currently I use Evernote for my BOS since its tagging features are super helpful for me (keeping track of things quickly becomes a hot mess for me otherwise), and like your service, it can be accessed from anywhere (though I think if you're using the software instead of the internet interface, you are leaving evidence of your activities around potentially).

If I were using a publicly accessible pc, it's something I would consider.

 
You guys are so careful...
When I was Wiccan, I just hid my BOS under my mattress on the side nearest the wall and prayed it wouldn't get found. :whis:
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Sisu

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Re: Leaving the broom closet
« Reply #12 on: April 07, 2014, 11:57:10 am »
Quote from: Myst Moonlight;144655
I'm afraid it is far to late for that, I've kept a physical BOS since the begining, around ten years ago. I't is well hidden, but I am always worried that someone will go snooping

 
Loose floorboard under the bed?

The snooping is how my parents found out about my brother. He made the mistake of forgetting his spiritual journal of sorts in his school bag at a relative's house, so someone went through it (granted, he'd given them reason to suspect he was hiding something). So yeah, unless you're super careful/sneaky, someone is bound to find it sooner or later.

Sisu

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Re: Leaving the broom closet
« Reply #13 on: April 07, 2014, 12:00:47 pm »
Quote from: HarpingHawke;144661
You guys are so careful...
When I was Wiccan, I just hid my BOS under my mattress on the side nearest the wall and prayed it wouldn't get found. :whis:

 
Haha, it's just easier for me to write on a computer so it wasn't ever really an issue in the first place when I was young (and I was more tech-savvy than the adults in the house so usually I'd find the files on the family computer they wanted to hide before they found mine). :ange:

It sounds like the OP might have some potential serious fallout if their BOS is discovered, hence all the ninja-like techniques cropping up.

HarpingHawke

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Re: Leaving the broom closet
« Reply #14 on: April 07, 2014, 12:25:31 pm »
Quote from: Sisu;144663

It sounds like the OP might have some potential serious fallout if their BOS is discovered, hence all the ninja-like techniques cropping up.

 
Oh yeah. I feel like Pagans are part ninja, just because of all the sneaking around we have to do!

And the serious fallout thing I can understand. I had to do some tapdancing to keep from getting kicked out when the family figured it out. ;)
"There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self." - Hemingway

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