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Author Topic: Help With Building New Relationship w/Old Person  (Read 874 times)

NaomiHope

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Help With Building New Relationship w/Old Person
« on: December 25, 2012, 12:48:01 am »
Hello all... this is my first official post.

What types of spells/meditations/visualizations would be effective for working on building a NEW relationship with an old person?

Basically, my son's father and I both need to work on releasing the ups and downs of our past to move forward to co-parent our little one in a peaceful, loving environment.

We have a lot of hurt, lies, and stubbornness in our past and while he says he's moved on - he has not and neither have I, though I am trying (one of the reasons I am posting here!).

I know forgiveness is the first step and I've been viewing some of the Spells, but I am very much a visualization/meditation person and I was wondering how can I blend things together?

I need something that would allow me to request permission from the spirits that protect him to open the door of opportunities for him to move forward with forgiveness, healing past wounds, and willingly working with me to create a new foundation for a new relationship. I am trying in the least possible manner to move in on his free will while actively working on myself to move in the same direction.

I hope this made sense... thank you in advance for any guidance!
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Waldhexe

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Re: Help With Building New Relationship w/Old Person
« Reply #1 on: December 25, 2012, 05:57:58 am »
Quote from: NaomiHope;86646



Sorry, this approach doesn't make much sense to me if I understood you correctly?

To me it sounds more like you need to find an agreement on how to raise your child than forgiveness.

It's just my opinion, but I don't think you can force forgiveness with a spell. It happens if people have at least partially came over their hurts and are willing to forgive.

I also don't think you need forgiveness to deal with the issues in the here and now, both of you might just need to suspend their personal hurts in favor of a common agreement for the child.
 
I also don't think it's a good idea to try to influence the other person with a spell, it may be more productive to do a spell together if both agree or you could do a spell for yourself (something to improve communication or protection against personal hurt or more objectivity in dealing with issues concerning the child...)

RandallS

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Re: Help With Building New Relationship w/Old Person
« Reply #2 on: December 25, 2012, 07:50:04 am »
Quote from: Waldhexe;86655
It's just my opinion, but I don't think you can force forgiveness with a spell. It happens if people have at least partially came over their hurts and are willing to forgive.

Magically forced foregiveness works the same way magically forced love does. It's not real and when the spell wears off or the person affected overcomes it, the love/forgiveness is unlikely to remain. You'd be better to use magic to set up conditions where it is more likely that both people will overcome their hurts and solve their issues, making forgiveness more likely to naturally happen.
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Aisling

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Re: Help With Building New Relationship w/Old Person
« Reply #3 on: December 25, 2012, 09:14:56 am »
Quote from: RandallS;86661
Magically forced foregiveness works the same way magically forced love does. It's not real and when the spell wears off or the person affected overcomes it, the love/forgiveness is unlikely to remain.

 
I'll add this as well: When you try to force these things and the spell wears off, you may find that there's a backlash of new negative feelings that come up when the person realizes that they are still feeling angry and resentful about the original situation.
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Catherine

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Re: Help With Building New Relationship w/Old Person
« Reply #4 on: December 25, 2012, 10:09:04 am »
Quote from: NaomiHope;86646

I need something that would allow me to request permission from the spirits that protect him to open the door of opportunities for him to move forward with forgiveness, healing past wounds, and willingly working with me to create a new foundation for a new relationship.

 
Bolded for emphasis.

Personally, I've never bought into this idea that it's okay to bypass getting an individual's consent for magic, spells, energy etc. by asking their "spirits". I know lots of people will tell you this is okay, but I see it as a way to justify violating someone's boundaries.

I've had people pull this on me and it really pissed me off because I've never given any spirits license to speak for, or make decisions for me. I make my own choices and the only being who can give consent for me is me.

Unless you have direct consent from the person, it's manipulation. If you can't be honest with him and tell him straight up that you want to do this, for whatever reason, then I would say don't do it.

If you really feel like this is the only way (because sometimes, manipulation is the only way), then my best advice is, be honest with yourself about what you're actually doing. Take responsibility, and don't try to sugar coat it. Be prepared for it go wrong, and own it if it does.  

I know this sounds harsh, and I'm not trying to be mean. It's just that this kind of thing comes up a lot. I think it's important to be honest about exactly what these sorts of spells are. Whether it's done out of love or malice, it is imposing your will on another if they don't know what you're doing.

NaomiHope

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Re: Help With Building New Relationship w/Old Person
« Reply #5 on: December 25, 2012, 11:27:07 pm »
Quote from: Waldhexe;86655
Sorry, this approach doesn't make much sense to me if I understood you correctly?

To me it sounds more like you need to find an agreement on how to raise your child than forgiveness.

It's just my opinion, but I don't think you can force forgiveness with a spell. It happens if people have at least partially came over their hurts and are willing to forgive.

I also don't think you need forgiveness to deal with the issues in the here and now, both of you might just need to suspend their personal hurts in favor of a common agreement for the child.
 
I also don't think it's a good idea to try to influence the other person with a spell, it may be more productive to do a spell together if both agree or you could do a spell for yourself (something to improve communication or protection against personal hurt or more objectivity in dealing with issues concerning the child...)

I don't want to influence them with a spell. I wanted a spell to set up an environment of forgiveness. Sorry for the confusion! But, I like the mention of a spell for myself to improve communication and understanding on my end!

Do you have any suggestions of where to start looking for that?
 
Quote from: RandallS;86661
Magically forced foregiveness works the same way magically forced love does. It's not real and when the spell wears off or the person affected overcomes it, the love/forgiveness is unlikely to remain. You'd be better to use magic to set up conditions where it is more likely that both people will overcome their hurts and solve their issues, making forgiveness more likely to naturally happen.

Yes, this I know. I do not want to have anything be magically forced on the other person.
 
I bolded some of the above as that is EXACTLY what I want to do. :-)

Quote from: Aisling;86675
I'll add this as well: When you try to force these things and the spell wears off, you may find that there's a backlash of new negative feelings that come up when the person realizes that they are still feeling angry and resentful about the original situation.

Thank you adding this. I know all about this - I've seen the manipulation happen and the unfortunate outcome.
 
Quote from: Catherine;86679
Bolded for emphasis.

Personally, I've never bought into this idea that it's okay to bypass getting an individual's consent for magic, spells, energy etc. by asking their "spirits". I know lots of people will tell you this is okay, but I see it as a way to justify violating someone's boundaries.

I've had people pull this on me and it really pissed me off because I've never given any spirits license to speak for, or make decisions for me. I make my own choices and the only being who can give consent for me is me.

Unless you have direct consent from the person, it's manipulation. If you can't be honest with him and tell him straight up that you want to do this, for whatever reason, then I would say don't do it.

If you really feel like this is the only way (because sometimes, manipulation is the only way), then my best advice is, be honest with yourself about what you're actually doing. Take responsibility, and don't try to sugar coat it. Be prepared for it go wrong, and own it if it does.  

I know this sounds harsh, and I'm not trying to be mean. It's just that this kind of thing comes up a lot. I think it's important to be honest about exactly what these sorts of spells are. Whether it's done out of love or malice, it is imposing your will on another if they don't know what you're doing.

Thank you pointing out asking the spirits. I did not consider that. But I can see that the other person did not put anyone in charge to receive information/requests and make decisions based on them. I will always keep this in mind now.

Also, I can bring this up to him. He knows of my religious beliefs (and supports what I do), but he does not believe in it. From what I understand of spells, believing affects it (please correct me if I am wrong) - so, asking him to perform a spell with me, well... he'd look at me strange and probably humor me, but I doubt it'd be very effective.

I've already addressed the rest of your response.

Thank you very much everyone for your input. Sorry again for the confusion.

Now that it is clear... what types of spells can I do to set up an environment for both of us to overcome past hurts and move forward?
« Last Edit: December 25, 2012, 11:30:42 pm by NaomiHope »
[INDENT]"Everything you can imagine is real." - Pablo Picasso [/INDENT]

Catherine

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Re: Help With Building New Relationship w/Old Person
« Reply #6 on: December 26, 2012, 10:47:31 am »
Quote from: NaomiHope;86762

Now that it is clear... what types of spells can I do to set up an environment for both of us to overcome past hurts and move forward?


Take a look through TC's spell grimoire . You might get some ideas or find a few things that you could combine and tweak for your purposes.

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