Crossroads on the path.

[PerditaPickle]

Not offended at all, and yes, its helpful, I was just hoping for a quick fix.

Though I never refer to myself as a beginner or an apprentice. 

Apologies, I wasn't trying to refer to you as a beginner, this was the word I was using about myself (and my friend) - I was just going on the fact you said you were facing a similar problem as Callum, and that you felt you needed to decide how to go with your own path.

But yes, I suspect there are no very quick fixes, just making a start and persevering until the work pays off.  Good luck to you both as I said before.

[Caleb Oak]

Apologies, I wasn't trying to refer to you as a beginner, this was the word I was using about myself (and my friend) - I was just going on the fact you said you were facing a similar problem as Callum, and that you felt you needed to decide how to go with your own path.

But yes, I suspect there are no very quick fixes, just making a start and persevering until the work pays off.  Good luck to you both as I said before.

Apologies are not needed, but i can tell you when it comes to magick there certainly are quick fixes.

I use them a lot.   

[PerditaPickle]

Apologies are not needed, but i can tell you when it comes to magick there certainly are quick fixes.

I use them a lot.   

I was referring to finding a long-term path - it's so difficult, sometimes, to be precise with the written word.

[Caleb Oak]

I was referring to finding a long-term path - it's so difficult, sometimes, to be precise with the written word.

Ah, I see, agreed.

[Mandi_S]

Bright Blessings,

I have a friend who has a problem, and I want to give some good advice, but I have no idea how to solve his problem:

He is a beginning Witch, he has tried a few things, but he can not get focused enough to choose a path.

Its always a 'maybe this maybe that'', and so he can not learn it on his own, but since he is a guy and most covens in our area are dominated by women he does not feel comfortable in those groups.

Take in mind he is very insecure, intimidated by spiritually powerful women thanks to some very bad experiences.

He is also power hungry, and obsessed with protection charms, spells, rituals etc.

And he still thinks magick is all about power.

Though he is also kind, friendly, giving, and rather androgynous.

How would Callum, lets call him that, solve this problem so he can find his path?

Thanks in advance.

The power hungry thing gives me a pause.

However if he could figure out what role magic plays in his faith obscure as it may be, he might get an idea of what he wants to do to make that happen.

I've kind of found people actually do have more idea of what they believe than they admit. 

What does he believe in enough to stand up in a room full of random people and speak loudly and clearly for?

I'm not a shrink, so take this with a grain of salt but schizoid tendencies (not disorder.  Tendencies.) kind of ping in my head here.

Being part of a group that doesn't validate itself as a collective of eccentrics against all others won't be satisfying for that person because the group identity compromises the individuality of the person. 

Till he's handled that, it's going to color all of his perceptions.  The women thing, ehhhhh.  That's gotta be handled before he can move forward as well.  I'd be up a creek if I held all men accountable for a few baddies.


You can't manage that for him.


If I were in your shoes I'd back way off and get lost in my own practices.

If it's meant to be, he'll find his way.  If not, it can't be meaningfully forced.

Thing is, great power requires great vulnerability.  My best tools are the ones that I've sharpened on myself and learned to handle carefully.

So maybe if he were willing, a thorough self inventory of what emotional resources he has, can he ride the whole range(?) might be a starting point to expand his mental flexibility to a place where commitment isn't so scary and the hard boundaries soften?

Is it possible he is not a theist and doesn't want to let anyone down?

If he's not clicking with anything but the idea of power, a group path is kind of a nope. 

Where is his mercy and maybe start there.

[Caleb Oak]

The power hungry thing gives me a pause.

However if he could figure out what role magic plays in his faith obscure as it may be, he might get an idea of what he wants to do to make that happen.

I've kind of found people actually do have more idea of what they believe than they admit. 

What does he believe in enough to stand up in a room full of random people and speak loudly and clearly for?

I'm not a shrink, so take this with a grain of salt but schizoid tendencies (not disorder.  Tendencies.) kind of ping in my head here.

Being part of a group that doesn't validate itself as a collective of eccentrics against all others won't be satisfying for that person because the group identity compromises the individuality of the person. 

Till he's handled that, it's going to color all of his perceptions.  The women thing, ehhhhh.  That's gotta be handled before he can move forward as well.  I'd be up a creek if I held all men accountable for a few baddies.


You can't manage that for him.


If I were in your shoes I'd back way off and get lost in my own practices.

If it's meant to be, he'll find his way.  If not, it can't be meaningfully forced.

Thing is, great power requires great vulnerability.  My best tools are the ones that I've sharpened on myself and learned to handle carefully.

So maybe if he were willing, a thorough self inventory of what emotional resources he has, can he ride the whole range(?) might be a starting point to expand his mental flexibility to a place where commitment isn't so scary and the hard boundaries soften?

Is it possible he is not a theist and doesn't want to let anyone down?

If he's not clicking with anything but the idea of power, a group path is kind of a nope. 

Where is his mercy and maybe start there.

Good advice, but what do you mean by 'great power requires great vulnerability'', it sounds like a contradiction. 

[Anon100]

Good advice, but what do you mean by 'great power requires great vulnerability'', it sounds like a contradiction. 

I'm certain Mandy will answer for herself later ( and I look forward to the answer as our views may vary and I'm sure she will have some interesting insights ) but, if you don't mind me adding my view ( mostly as this is a very interesting subject )...
To find power within yourself you first have to understand and face your own weaknesses. You learn lessons both from your mistakes and your fears. And, by knowing your frailty, you gain insight into the world and other people. That's not to mehtion the fact that you can't really feel the rhythm of life if you can't feel both sides of it.

In Aesops fables there's the story of how a great tree, which stood tall, was blown over in a storm but the grass, which bent over, survived.

[Anon100]

I'm certain Mandy

PS. Sorry Mandi for miswriting your name, also for the assumption of your prefered pronoun later in my post

[Caleb Oak]

I'm certain Mandy will answer for herself later ( and I look forward to the answer as our views may vary and I'm sure she will have some interesting insights ) but, if you don't mind me adding my view ( mostly as this is a very interesting subject )...
To find power within yourself you first have to understand and face your own weaknesses. You learn lessons both from your mistakes and your fears. And, by knowing your frailty, you gain insight into the world and other people. That's not to mehtion the fact that you can't really feel the rhythm of life if you can't feel both sides of it.

In Aesops fables there's the story of how a great tree, which stood tall, was blown over in a storm but the grass, which bent over, survived.

My thoughts on that would be:

1: I think that goes more for nature based paths such as witchcraft, I aim to get rid of my weaknesses, in order to grow more powerful, more cunning, and above all, less weak.

2: Perhaps I am to vane or arrogant, but I refuse to see myself as another expendable part of some ''divine'' eat or be eaten ''balance'', so the grass and tree story has no effect me on my, since my path is focused on things beyond the physical.

[Anon100]

My thoughts on that would be:

1: I think that goes more for nature based paths such as witchcraft, I aim to get rid of my weaknesses, in order to grow more powerful, more cunning, and above all, less weak.

2: Perhaps I am to vane or arrogant, but I refuse to see myself as another expendable part of some ''divine'' eat or be eaten ''balance'', so the grass and tree story has no effect me on my, since my path is focused on things beyond the physical.

I'm not aiming to change your point of view or path here but, if you don't mind, I will just clarify some of mine..

I see this as being more than 'nature' based ( although I will say my life is very much part of nature ) or working in the framework of a divine eat or be eaten system. And I certainly don't see myself as expendable.
Balance and using your weaknesses is something I see as individual from religion; from understanding others reactions based on your own experience or feelings, to knowing how power will flow through or over you as you use it. It is the basis of certain martial arts ( as I only know Tai Chi I can't say for all ) because it protects you from overextending and allows you the force and form for the next movement. It's one of the basic rules in physics ( for each action there's an equal and opposit reaction ).

Edit to add: It also can move you to gain experiences and take journeys you would otherwise not have found and even to make you aware of abilities and strengths you otherwise would never have take on.
Also, for me, 'divine' and 'eat or be eaten' aren't necesarily tied together.

[Caleb Oak]

I'm not aiming to change your point of view or path here but, if you don't mind, I will just clarify some of mine..

I see this as being more than 'nature' based ( although I will say my life is very much part of nature ) or working in the framework of a divine eat or be eaten system. And I certainly don't see myself as expendable.
Balance and using your weaknesses is something I see as individual from religion; from understanding others reactions based on your own experience or feelings, to knowing how power will flow through or over you as you use it. It is the basis of certain martial arts ( as I only know Tai Chi I can't say for all ) because it protects you from overextending and allows you the force and form for the next movement. It's one of the basic rules in physics ( for each action there's an equal and opposit reaction ).

Edit to add: It also can move you to gain experiences and take journeys you would otherwise not have found and even to make you aware of abilities and strengths you otherwise would never have take on.
Also, for me, 'divine' and 'eat or be eaten' aren't necesarily tied together.

Thanks, that helps, though I tend to overextend my6 energy all the time, rather like Darth Vader, using my anger and desire to fuel my energy, and go beyond the limits of my body and my astral form. 

[PerditaPickle]

I'm not aiming to change your point of view or path here but, if you don't mind, I will just clarify some of mine..

I see this as being more than 'nature' based ( although I will say my life is very much part of nature ) or working in the framework of a divine eat or be eaten system. And I certainly don't see myself as expendable.
Balance and using your weaknesses is something I see as individual from religion; from understanding others reactions based on your own experience or feelings, to knowing how power will flow through or over you as you use it. It is the basis of certain martial arts ( as I only know Tai Chi I can't say for all ) because it protects you from overextending and allows you the force and form for the next movement. It's one of the basic rules in physics ( for each action there's an equal and opposit reaction ).

Edit to add: It also can move you to gain experiences and take journeys you would otherwise not have found and even to make you aware of abilities and strengths you otherwise would never have take on.
Also, for me, 'divine' and 'eat or be eaten' aren't necesarily tied together.

Some interesting thoughts here, I'm going to create a draft with a view to discussing this some more when I've more time (could be a while though, so don't anybody go holding your breath waiting for it...)

[Anon100]

Some interesting thoughts here, I'm going to create a draft with a view to discussing this some more when I've more time (could be a while though, so don't anybody go holding your breath waiting for it...)

Please do Perdita, I look forward to it ( Um, did you say hold my breath? [ turns red then blue])

[Caleb Oak]

Thanks, that helps, though I tend to overextend my energy all the time, rather like Darth Vader, using my anger and desire to fuel my energy, and go beyond the limits of my body and my astral form.

PS: And to be honest, if I do not overextend beyond my limits i would get nothing done.   

[Mandi_S]

Good advice, but what do you mean by 'great power requires great vulnerability'', it sounds like a contradiction. 

I am tickled that lots of people have spins on this and if I recognize I'm being addressed, spelling and pronouns do not obstruct our communication.  I don't mind being either or.  He she it... No worries.

Visualization - I don't know if the academics and literature still put the same focus on training the minds eye and visualization.  Lucid dreaming.  Find your hands, become aware of your starting point, hear the song.  You have to build your tools.  Make your plan.

You can't make what you don't have the ingredients for. 

Vast oversimplification.

If I don't have peace and comfort in me, I can't give it to anyone else.  The frantic young mother who gets stuck in a feedback cycle with her crying infant breaks it by finding the peace in herself and pouring it out for her child.

If I want to build the Minotaurs maze, I need to know and feel the exact dimensions of the walls and hear the breath of the bull.  If I want someone peeing scared I have to know the fear that loosens a bladder.

I'm only as effective as what I've experienced.  Can only cut as deep as I've been cut and healed from.  Can only do from a distance what I'd be willing to do in person. 

I don't use the same format as many ritual practitioners, so how you believe your will is being manifested probably has something to do with that.  I'm not invoking Deity.  I don't believe any particular deity is validating my will or is getting involved in my human affairs.  I don't ask God to bless the body count just to keep me counting.

The collective power of one human life's experiences. 

I have to be willing and able to tap that experience to invoke it. 

So having emotionally off limits zones are dead wood in a live tree trying to pull water to make fruit.  (Not liking that analogy but words fail.)


That's why I asked what his mercy might be.  The thing you wouldn't harm knowingly.  What would cause you pain to be the cause of pain to.  That's your brakes.