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Author Topic: Accidentally hex  (Read 1198 times)

Narcolepticwitch

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Accidentally hex
« on: July 28, 2015, 03:08:21 pm »
So this happened when I was In 7th or 8th grade.this guy had been sexual harassing me and the night before I felt this great intent and want for him to fall. So gues what after pe I was going down a flight of stairs and the guy ran down it and ended up breaking his ankle. I felt bad but it was my friend who tripped him because he was making fun of her.but I don't think it was a coinandance because even though she did it I willed it to happen the night before. I felt guilty but he was stupid Enough to go sprinting down a flight of stairs.

And in that state of mind I was tired of the sexual harassment ,angry at myself for letting those guys continue doing it and at the school who did nothing when my grandma went to the principal to help stop this but nope he did nothing, the self consciousness I was feeling, the violation because what guy or girl wants somebody to go up and slap or grab their ass or have someone jump on your back saying I love I love when you know they do not and this was infront of a group of people who were laughing at this. I elbowed him in the face because he would not listen and get off. Also while dwelling on those thought I just felt like this weird pull or feeling I don't know what it was then but I realized it was the same feeling I get when casting spells or doing meditation.




Sorry for this long post i just want to know have any of you wanted something to happen and it did. And any experiences that are somewhat similar to what happened
« Last Edit: July 28, 2015, 03:10:51 pm by Narcolepticwitch »

Redfaery

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Re: Accidentally hex
« Reply #1 on: July 28, 2015, 06:30:35 pm »
Quote from: Narcolepticwitch;177909
So this happened when I was In 7th or 8th grade.this guy had been sexual harassing me and the night before I felt this great intent and want for him to fall. So gues what after pe I was going down a flight of stairs and the guy ran down it and ended up breaking his ankle. I felt bad but it was my friend who tripped him because he was making fun of her.but I don't think it was a coinandance because even though she did it I willed it to happen the night before. I felt guilty but he was stupid Enough to go sprinting down a flight of stairs.

And in that state of mind I was tired of the sexual harassment ,angry at myself for letting those guys continue doing it and at the school who did nothing when my grandma went to the principal to help stop this but nope he did nothing, the self consciousness I was feeling, the violation because what guy or girl wants somebody to go up and slap or grab their ass or have someone jump on your back saying I love I love when you know they do not and this was infront of a group of people who were laughing at this. I elbowed him in the face because he would not listen and get off. Also while dwelling on those thought I just felt like this weird pull or feeling I don't know what it was then but I realized it was the same feeling I get when casting spells or doing meditation.




Sorry for this long post i just want to know have any of you wanted something to happen and it did. And any experiences that are somewhat similar to what happened


Well, first off, let me just say that I'm sorry you had to go through something like that. It wasn't your obligation to make those assholes be decent human beings. What you described though, is indeed a Thing that has been known to happen. It's got a lot of names: crossing, ill-wishing, overlooking, or the evil eye. It's usually described as being a bad thing, but IMO this fellow just got what he deserved.
KARMA: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Faemon

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Re: Accidentally hex
« Reply #2 on: July 29, 2015, 02:13:27 am »
Quote from: Narcolepticwitch;177909
i just want to know have any of you wanted something to happen and it did. And any experiences that are somewhat similar to what happened

Yes, and to put it too simply to be true, it was basically a death curse. Which the rest of this reply will be about or allude to so please feel free to scroll past now if it's an issue. I had been suicidal for several years. Near the end of that phase, accidents and illnesses had a number of friends of the family dying, and then whatever death-force had been floating around finally claimed my abuser.

Rather than consider it a close brush with Death as a greater outside force that maybe I was subject to and influenced by, I felt that it was something that I created and projected.

But so what? Did I mean to? About 83% of the time, no. That's not a skill. Could I refine it into a skill so that magic replaces guns? No, that's what mechanics and technology are for. Could I resurrect everyone I didn't mean to kill? No. Could I be more careful in the future? I don't know how to, again, if I did then it would be magic but science.

Even though I grew up sort of feeling what I believe were other people "energy" (everybody else's energy, blearrgh) so I believe everybody has it...for it to "work" as straightforwardly as yours or mine have is actually very rare. There are so many other people in the world who have gone through much worse than we have, with less justice. I've seen many a better person than myself attract misfortunes that they don't deserve and I couldn't stop or help with, and some downright evil people who seem to be immune even if I gave them the evil eye for five out of six seconds of every waking moment.

So, that's all left me feeling weirdly responsible and powerless at the same time.  At least (by the by) I haven't felt suicidal in years, but I hope to have come away from all that will some slightly wiser understanding of death. It isn't just a means to an end, at least, I don't believe that it should be. It means a lot more by itself, and if I wanted to take responsibility for what happened (what I felt I did), then understanding that mystery is a big part of it.

Quote
I just felt like this weird pull or feeling I don't know what it was then but I realized it was the same feeling I get when casting spells or doing meditation.

Your issues might be different than mine had been, but I sense that the force behind them is consuming you in a similar way. And I don't believe that's a bad thing, I think that's a natural thing. I've supposed that everybody else has a bit of magic that they use without knowing it (blearrgh, but can't blame them), and that it comes from somewhere, and that somewhere is often their heart (not necessarily the one for blood circulation), and that its pulse is sometimes like a star and sometimes like a chrysalis and sometimes like an egg.

The vindictiveness, if that is what you do project, for people who heap all these harmful messages about your body and personal agency onto you...I think that's even healthy, because it shows the process of rejecting their powers over you.

Between that process and somebody's ankle breaking, as I mentioned, are actually a lot of variables.

But then consider the result. Did he leave you and other regular victims alone for a while because his ankle was broken? Then something good came of it.

But I suspect that what you really wanted was for him (and everybody like him) to stop doing that thing because of an inner realization that it's not a good thing to do, because it makes other people feel unsafe and less respected than all human beings should be. And his breaking his ankle isn't likely to do that, although all sorts of mental acrobatics can still accompany situations that seem from the outside that the situation ought to wake a person up to that. Something like an impotence curse, for example, might even be taken as he has something to prove so he does worse. As I keep saying, magic isn't science.

I cast death "energy" at my abuser because I thought that emotions only applied to emotions on a metaphysical level. Now I suspect that some subconscious process takes this energy and puts it wherever it fits. It doesn't explain everything that ever happens, but it appears to me that some souls would rather die than ever acknowledge that they've harmed somebody so deeply; or, in your harasser's case, would rather break a bone than give up on the macho act. It's too subtle to consider it a decision enough to blame them instead, it's more just speculation of how it works on the metaphysical level. I could be wrong or think differently later, but that's how I make sense of what happens.

In any case, that's all done. The weird pull or feeling might be spellcasting, but I hope the process behind that continues to go well, that in any or all ways you can reclaim your personal power and find yourself in a place that isn't populated by jerks, where individualism and personal space and sexuality is respected.
« Last Edit: July 29, 2015, 02:18:49 am by Faemon »
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