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Author Topic: -Insert Generic introduction title here- (The shop was closed :P )  (Read 1629 times)

Caleb Oak

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-Insert Generic introduction title here- (The shop was closed :P )
« on: September 20, 2014, 09:46:11 am »
Hello everybody, i guess this is the part where i explain who i am, and what path walk, tradition i follow.
But to be honest i would not know what that would be.
So here are some basics:
I am raised catholic, i was adopted, and my father died when i was young.
I was a young, naive boy who saw energy everywhere, and loved to play in the woods, watch cartoons, or roll in the dirt. (Boys will be boys)
I was send to an very strict institution for 5 years, where i had a very negative experience with some mean girls claiming top be Wiccan.
(They beat me up, told me scary thing, because i did not want to be their altar boy and i did not  get a good sleep for days)
That left me with an inferiority complex, a trauma, and nightmares.
After that my spiritual path became more lead by fear and focused on power.
I tried to develop special abilities, but no matter how much i tried i could not do it.
And when i saw that even little girls where better at it in exploded on the inside.
I felt rage, jealousy, self doubt, fear, etc etc.
I tried to find a path but so far no luck.
I don't know why i stumbled on this site, but i just had to get this off my chest in a nice anonymous way.
No offense intended of course.
Thrak

Caleb Oak

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Re: -Insert Generic introduction title here- (The shop was closed :P )
« Reply #1 on: September 20, 2014, 12:25:01 pm »
Quote from: Thrak;159493
Hello everybody, i guess this is the part where i explain who i am, and what path walk, tradition i follow.
But to be honest i would not know what that would be.
So here are some basics:
I am raised catholic, i was adopted, and my father died when i was young.
I was a young, naive boy who saw energy everywhere, and loved to play in the woods, watch cartoons, or roll in the dirt. (Boys will be boys)
I was send to an very strict institution for 5 years, where i had a very negative experience with some mean girls claiming top be Wiccan.
(They beat me up, told me scary thing, because i did not want to be their altar boy and i did not  get a good sleep for days)
That left me with an inferiority complex, a trauma, and nightmares.
After that my spiritual path became more lead by fear and focused on power.
I tried to develop special abilities, but no matter how much i tried i could not do it.
And when i saw that even little girls where better at it in exploded on the inside.
I felt rage, jealousy, self doubt, fear, etc etc.
I tried to find a path but so far no luck.
I don't know why i stumbled on this site, but i just had to get this off my chest in a nice anonymous way.
No offense intended of course.
Thrak

 
I think iam being ignored here..........

Redfaery

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Re: -Insert Generic introduction title here- (The shop was closed :P )
« Reply #2 on: September 20, 2014, 12:49:26 pm »
Quote from: Thrak;159502
I think iam being ignored here..........
No. The board is just slow sometimes.

Welcome.
KARMA: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Caleb Oak

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Re: -Insert Generic introduction title here- (The shop was closed :P )
« Reply #3 on: September 20, 2014, 12:56:46 pm »
Quote from: Redfaery;159503
No. The board is just slow sometimes.

Welcome.

 
Than i am sorry for my hot heated response.
Annyways what do you think about my story?
Just curious. :3
« Last Edit: September 20, 2014, 12:58:37 pm by Thrak »

Redfaery

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Re: -Insert Generic introduction title here- (The shop was closed :P )
« Reply #4 on: September 20, 2014, 12:59:34 pm »
Quote from: Thrak;159504
Than i am sorry for my hot heaten response.
Annyways what do you think about my story?
Just curious. :3
Sounds like you were being bullied. I'm glad you got out of that situation, and I hope you're in a better situation in life now.
KARMA: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Caleb Oak

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Re: -Insert Generic introduction title here- (The shop was closed :P )
« Reply #5 on: September 20, 2014, 01:03:01 pm »
Quote from: Redfaery;159505
Sounds like you were being bullied. I'm glad you got out of that situation, and I hope you're in a better situation in life now.

 
Yes i was, they said my soul would be eaten, i was going to be their altar slave, and when i refused they kicked me in the mud and tried to pull my arm out of its socket.

Thats why i am a little power hungry now.....

Jenett

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Re: -Insert Generic introduction title here- (The shop was closed :P )
« Reply #6 on: September 20, 2014, 01:18:03 pm »
Quote from: Thrak;159493

A couple of things that might help you get more responses, if you'd like that. (And yes, people are sometimes slow to respond: we're in all sorts of different timezones, too.)

First, not everyone reads the introductions forums (or some people do only some of the times they check the forums, etc.) So sometimes questions that get asked here may not be seen by everyone who might comment if they were in another area of the board.

Second, reading your post, I'm not really sure what you're looking for, which makes it hard to offer suggestions.

Do you want suggestions? Or did you just want somewhere to talk about your experiences?

Do you want to explore Paganism of some kind, or is this more about making some sort of sense of the bullying they did to you? (Because, yes, bullying, and bullies will use all sorts of excuses to do it, including religion.)

Do you want to deal with the issues of feeling a lack of power or helplessness that you've touched on? (And if so, have you tried other forms of help, like therapy or reading books designed to help people who were bullied?)

What things have you done to explore building skills and techniques that might give you more choices (and thus more power?) This can be everything from very practical job skills to learning basics of energy work, to other things. Knowing what you've already tried or not tried would help people make better suggestions for other things to try.

(You say these women had a lot of power: if they were also teenagers, teenagers can put out a lot of emotional energy that can fuel magic very easily in some cases, but it's usually not a very sustainable thing or good for people in the long run without a solid grounding in various skills. Also, in my experience, magic is a lot less about sheer power, and much more about knowing how to use what you've got in the right places.)
Seek Knowledge, Find Wisdom: Research help on esoteric and eclectic topics (consulting and other services)

Seeking: first steps on a Pagan path (advice for seekers and people new to Paganism)

Caleb Oak

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Re: -Insert Generic introduction title here- (The shop was closed :P )
« Reply #7 on: September 20, 2014, 01:23:35 pm »
Quote from: Jenett;159509
A couple of things that might help you get more responses, if you'd like that. (And yes, people are sometimes slow to respond: we're in all sorts of different timezones, too.)

First, not everyone reads the introductions forums (or some people do only some of the times they check the forums, etc.) So sometimes questions that get asked here may not be seen by everyone who might comment if they were in another area of the board.

Second, reading your post, I'm not really sure what you're looking for, which makes it hard to offer suggestions.

Do you want suggestions? Or did you just want somewhere to talk about your experiences?

Do you want to explore Paganism of some kind, or is this more about making some sort of sense of the bullying they did to you? (Because, yes, bullying, and bullies will use all sorts of excuses to do it, including religion.)

Do you want to deal with the issues of feeling a lack of power or helplessness that you've touched on? (And if so, have you tried other forms of help, like therapy or reading books designed to help people who were bullied?)

What things have you done to explore building skills and techniques that might give you more choices (and thus more power?) This can be everything from very practical job skills to learning basics of energy work, to other things. Knowing what you've already tried or not tried would help people make better suggestions for other things to try.

(You say these women had a lot of power: if they were also teenagers, teenagers can put out a lot of emotional energy that can fuel magic very easily in some cases, but it's usually not a very sustainable thing or good for people in the long run without a solid grounding in various skills. Also, in my experience, magic is a lot less about sheer power, and much more about knowing how to use what you've got in the right places.)
I want to feel less weak, less vulnerable.
And its about the lack of a path. And the reason for that is obviously my past.
Let me explain what i mean, and more importantly, what i feel:

After i got bullied and tried to develop abileties in order to feel safe and make my life more meaningfull i often have the feeling that others are given spiritual gifts at birth, or on a silver platter, whereas i, despite years of working on it got nothing at all.
And the ones i met where SO arrogant and vane.
"We are the chosen ones, blessed by mother earth to guard the balance in nature etc etc bla bla bla"
Feels like i have been left out really.
Probably not very rational but it is what i feel.
Telling you anything else would be a lie.
« Last Edit: September 20, 2014, 01:26:15 pm by Thrak »

Lune

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Re: -Insert Generic introduction title here- (The shop was closed :P )
« Reply #8 on: September 20, 2014, 06:12:21 pm »
Quote from: Thrak;159510
I want to feel less weak, less vulnerable.


Hello Thark.

You may have heard this many times before and I'm not pittying you but I really am sorry for the way you were treated in the past. It was cruel, but now that you've gone your seperate ways (or that's what I assume) I would try to let it go. Don't give them the satisfaction of influencing your life in such a way.

My advice would be to focus on yourself and the future ahead. Find a spiritual path which resonates with you. There are a lot of people here who can offer you a helping hand. Don't be afraid to ask ^.^

Many well wishes.

Blessed be.

Lune

katbast

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Re: -Insert Generic introduction title here- (The shop was closed :P )
« Reply #9 on: September 20, 2014, 06:31:20 pm »
Quote from: Thrak;159510
I want to feel less weak, less vulnerable.
And its about the lack of a path. And the reason for that is obviously my past.
Let me explain what i mean, and more importantly, what i feel:

After i got bullied and tried to develop abileties in order to feel safe and make my life more meaningfull i often have the feeling that others are given spiritual gifts at birth, or on a silver platter, whereas i, despite years of working on it got nothing at all.
And the ones i met where SO arrogant and vane.
"We are the chosen ones, blessed by mother earth to guard the balance in nature etc etc bla bla bla"
Feels like i have been left out really.
Probably not very rational but it is what i feel.
Telling you anything else would be a lie.

Those in your past sound like real...( rhymes with "itches".). I offer you sympathy and hope that you find what you are looking for.

As you can tell I haven't been on this forum long myself but welcome to the cauldron forum. Lots of good information on here :-)
« Last Edit: September 20, 2014, 06:32:49 pm by katbast »

oumike

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Re: -Insert Generic introduction title here- (The shop was closed :P )
« Reply #10 on: September 29, 2014, 08:27:12 pm »
Quote from: Thrak;159493
Hello everybody, i guess this is the part where i explain who i am, and what path walk, tradition i follow.
But to be honest i would not know what that would be.
So here are some basics:
I am raised catholic, i was adopted, and my father died when i was young.
I was a young, naive boy who saw energy everywhere, and loved to play in the woods, watch cartoons, or roll in the dirt. (Boys will be boys)
I was send to an very strict institution for 5 years, where i had a very negative experience with some mean girls claiming top be Wiccan.
(They beat me up, told me scary thing, because i did not want to be their altar boy and i did not  get a good sleep for days)
That left me with an inferiority complex, a trauma, and nightmares.
After that my spiritual path became more lead by fear and focused on power.
I tried to develop special abilities, but no matter how much i tried i could not do it.
And when i saw that even little girls where better at it in exploded on the inside.
I felt rage, jealousy, self doubt, fear, etc etc.
I tried to find a path but so far no luck.
I don't know why i stumbled on this site, but i just had to get this off my chest in a nice anonymous way.
No offense intended of course.
Thrak
Hello!  Former Catholic here. Welcome to the club. 😁

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