Exploring Different Paths

[demoiselle]

Hello. I’m demoiselle, an upper-30s woman who would most often describe herself as an athest or agnostic. I grew up on a farm near a national forest and now live in NYC.

For a long time, I’ve wished that I could find a spiritual path that fulfilled me. Over the past 15 years I have come to paganism, wicca and witchcraft repeatedly, bought and checked out numerous 101 and more advanced books, but could never find enough certainty or feeling of “belief” to begin practicing.

In recent years, I’ve done a lot of growing and changing. I’ve developed a consistent meditation practice (insight and metta) and I’ve begun to feel real change in myself and my life.

A few nights ago, I had an . . .experience . . .while meditating that has profoundly moved me. It was an encounter with Dionysus—a fraught deity to me—and it moved me profoundly. I don’t know yet what it was—maybe real, maybe my subconscious trying to communicate with me—but I can’t put it out of my mind.

I haven’t been certain what to do with myself since then so I wanted to find a community that might understand some of what I am experiencing.

Thank you for your time.

[Morbid]

Hello. I’m demoiselle, an upper-30s woman who would most often describe herself as an athest or agnostic. I grew up on a farm near a national forest and now live in NYC.

For a long time, I’ve wished that I could find a spiritual path that fulfilled me. Over the past 15 years I have come to paganism, wicca and witchcraft repeatedly, bought and checked out numerous 101 and more advanced books, but could never find enough certainty or feeling of “belief” to begin practicing.

In recent years, I’ve done a lot of growing and changing. I’ve developed a consistent meditation practice (insight and metta) and I’ve begun to feel real change in myself and my life.

A few nights ago, I had an . . .experience . . .while meditating that has profoundly moved me. It was an encounter with Dionysus—a fraught deity to me—and it moved me profoundly. I don’t know yet what it was—maybe real, maybe my subconscious trying to communicate with me—but I can’t put it out of my mind.

I haven’t been certain what to do with myself since then so I wanted to find a community that might understand some of what I am experiencing.

Thank you for your time.

Hi there!  First of all welcome, you've definitely stumbled upon a nice little hole in the wall.  There's a few members here who work with Dionysus - TheGreenWizard is the one on the top of my head - that can offer better insight as far as him specifically.  I work with Anubis. 

[Altair]

Hello. I’m demoiselle, an upper-30s woman who would most often describe herself as an athest or agnostic. I grew up on a farm near a national forest and now live in NYC.

For a long time, I’ve wished that I could find a spiritual path that fulfilled me. Over the past 15 years I have come to paganism, wicca and witchcraft repeatedly, bought and checked out numerous 101 and more advanced books, but could never find enough certainty or feeling of “belief” to begin practicing.

In recent years, I’ve done a lot of growing and changing. I’ve developed a consistent meditation practice (insight and metta) and I’ve begun to feel real change in myself and my life.

A few nights ago, I had an . . .experience . . .while meditating that has profoundly moved me. It was an encounter with Dionysus—a fraught deity to me—and it moved me profoundly. I don’t know yet what it was—maybe real, maybe my subconscious trying to communicate with me—but I can’t put it out of my mind.

I haven’t been certain what to do with myself since then so I wanted to find a community that might understand some of what I am experiencing.

Thank you for your time.

Welcome, demoiselle, from a fellow New Yorker!

Morbid beat me to it: You should talk to TheGreenWizard. Not only is he a Dionysus guy, but he's an NYCer like you and me.

[Morbid]

Welcome, demoiselle, from a fellow New Yorker!

Morbid beat me to it: You should talk to TheGreenWizard. Not only is he a Dionysus guy, but he's an NYCer like you and me.

New York Smork.  Red Sox all day

[Jenett]

Over the past 15 years I have come to paganism, wicca and witchcraft repeatedly, bought and checked out numerous 101 and more advanced books, but could never find enough certainty or feeling of “belief” to begin practicing.

One of the things I think a lot of books do a bad job of explaining is that belief is not necessarily the important thing. I mean, obviously, you want some feeling that what you're doing is helpful to you - but that doesn't mean you have to believe in certain things or a certain way, or at least not start out like that. A lot of people start by having experiences that lead them to practices, and lots of other people start out with practices, and those lead them to have experiences. Both can work out pretty well.

Probably worth its own thread, but the other good thing to know is that just because deities show up, doesn't mean you have to do what they want, or exactly on their terms: there are ways to set boundaries and explore within limits you're reasonably comfortable with, if that's what you want to do to (or to reasonably politely say "Thanks, but no thanks.")

[demoiselle]

Probably worth its own thread, but the other good thing to know is that just because deities show up, doesn't mean you have to do what they want, or exactly on their terms: there are ways to set boundaries and explore within limits you're reasonably comfortable with, if that's what you want to do to (or to reasonably politely say "Thanks, but no thanks.")

Thank you. Once I get my thoughts organized, I will post a thread about the experience. It wasn’t a frightening encounter—mores healing one.

Thank you also for your words on belief and practice. They are helpful to me.

[Voren]

Hello. I’m demoiselle, an upper-30s woman who would most often describe herself as an athest or agnostic. I grew up on a farm near a national forest and now live in NYC.

For a long time, I’ve wished that I could find a spiritual path that fulfilled me. Over the past 15 years I have come to paganism, wicca and witchcraft repeatedly, bought and checked out numerous 101 and more advanced books, but could never find enough certainty or feeling of “belief” to begin practicing.

In recent years, I’ve done a lot of growing and changing. I’ve developed a consistent meditation practice (insight and metta) and I’ve begun to feel real change in myself and my life.

A few nights ago, I had an . . .experience . . .while meditating that has profoundly moved me. It was an encounter with Dionysus—a fraught deity to me—and it moved me profoundly. I don’t know yet what it was—maybe real, maybe my subconscious trying to communicate with me—but I can’t put it out of my mind.

I haven’t been certain what to do with myself since then so I wanted to find a community that might understand some of what I am experiencing.

Thank you for your time.

Hello and welcome

[demoiselle]

Welcome, demoiselle, from a fellow New Yorker!

Morbid beat me to it: You should talk to TheGreenWizard. Not only is he a Dionysus guy, but he's an NYCer like you and me.

Morbid and Altair, thank you for pointing me to TheGreenWizard. I look forward to his feedback, if he wishes to give me any once I post more.

[TheGreenWizard]

Hello. I’m demoiselle, an upper-30s woman who would most often describe herself as an athest or agnostic. I grew up on a farm near a national forest and now live in NYC.

For a long time, I’ve wished that I could find a spiritual path that fulfilled me. Over the past 15 years I have come to paganism, wicca and witchcraft repeatedly, bought and checked out numerous 101 and more advanced books, but could never find enough certainty or feeling of “belief” to begin practicing.

In recent years, I’ve done a lot of growing and changing. I’ve developed a consistent meditation practice (insight and meta) and I’ve begun to feel real change in myself and my life.

A few nights ago, I had an . . .experience . . .while meditating that has profoundly moved me. It was an encounter with Dionysus—a fraught deity to me—and it moved me profoundly. I don’t know yet what it was—maybe real, maybe my subconscious trying to communicate with me—but I can’t put it out of my mind.

I haven’t been certain what to do with myself since then so I wanted to find a community that might understand some of what I am experiencing.

Thank you for your time.

Good morning demoiselle and welcome to the Cauldron!

I read through your post & thread, and I feel a form of kinship with you - I also have been in and out of the pagan experience for most of my life, and it was only until recently that I really started to settle into my practice. Similar to you, I also had a meditative experience, and bam - there was Dionysos, and in hindsight, it was similar to a healing experience for me. If you feel comfortable with sharing the experience, can you describe what your meditation vision was. If you prefer Private Messaging me, you may; I'll ask questions, and won't judge (even if it comes across like that - it's one limitation of writing that I truly despise). I do want to address something here, however: It was an encounter with Dionysus—a fraught deity to me—and it moved me profoundly. I'd like to explore what you mean by fraught deity. I ask because every person has a different interaction with the deities, and that interaction is influenced by our life story and subconscious.

I look forward to your reply.

PS: I'm not the only Dionysian on the board. Eastling is another who is on the west coast, who works with Dionysos, and a few other entities that I'm failing to remember (no coffee in my system). I'd ask him as well.

[Morbid]

Morbid and Altair, thank you for pointing me to TheGreenWizard. I look forward to his feedback, if he wishes to give me any once I post more.

You can also join us in our discord server.  We have a lot of odds and ends conversations.  Utilize the blimp on the right hand side of your screen to do this.  (If you can't see it, make some more posts and it'll appear.  I don't know the exact number of posts required to see it.)

[demoiselle]

Good morning demoiselle and welcome to the Cauldron!

I read through your post & thread, and I feel a form of kinship with you - I also have been in and out of the pagan experience for most of my life, and it was only until recently that I really started to settle into my practice. Similar to you, I also had a meditative experience, and bam - there was Dionysos, and in hindsight, it was similar to a healing experience for me. If you feel comfortable with sharing the experience, can you describe what your meditation vision was. If you prefer Private Messaging me, you may; I'll ask questions, and won't judge (even if it comes across like that - it's one limitation of writing that I truly despise). I do want to address something here, however: It was an encounter with Dionysus—a fraught deity to me—and it moved me profoundly. I'd like to explore what you mean by fraught deity. I ask because every person has a different interaction with the deities, and that interaction is influenced by our life story and subconscious.

I look forward to your reply.

PS: I'm not the only Dionysian on the board. Eastling is another who is on the west coast, who works with Dionysos, and a few other entities that I'm failing to remember (no coffee in my system). I'd ask him as well.

Thank you for the warm welcome! I plan to sit down today and record my experience. I've taken notes, but they are rough.

As for the phrase "fraught diety," I am speaking strictly from a personal perspective that I will get into for context on my next post. I worked in theatre for half my life, and when my time in the field ended, there was a lot of pain and turmoil about my identity that I'm still working through. My feelings are complicated.

[Voren]

Hello. I’m demoiselle, an upper-30s woman who would most often describe herself as an athest or agnostic. I grew up on a farm near a national forest and now live in NYC.

For a long time, I’ve wished that I could find a spiritual path that fulfilled me. Over the past 15 years I have come to paganism, wicca and witchcraft repeatedly, bought and checked out numerous 101 and more advanced books, but could never find enough certainty or feeling of “belief” to begin practicing.

In recent years, I’ve done a lot of growing and changing. I’ve developed a consistent meditation practice (insight and metta) and I’ve begun to feel real change in myself and my life.

A few nights ago, I had an . . .experience . . .while meditating that has profoundly moved me. It was an encounter with Dionysus—a fraught deity to me—and it moved me profoundly. I don’t know yet what it was—maybe real, maybe my subconscious trying to communicate with me—but I can’t put it out of my mind.

I haven’t been certain what to do with myself since then so I wanted to find a community that might understand some of what I am experiencing.

Thank you for your time.

Hello and welcome! We're all pretty helpful around here