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Author Topic: Alternative/Revisionist Histories I bet you'd like some Aset with your pseudohistory  (Read 6979 times)

Snowdrop

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I bet you'd like some Aset with your pseudohistory
« on: November 12, 2012, 10:09:02 pm »
This is one of my favorite crazy websites of all time; I hope you all will enjoy it as much as I have. 

http://www.resurrectisis.org/

Some of the highlights of this person's argument:

1. Aset was once a real person and was the first anatomically modern human. 
2. If we all would just realize that we're descended from Her, the world would be fixed.
3.  Tons of words in languages that have no relationship to Kemetic are references to Her simply because they contain letters that look sort of like "Isis."  Because Isis was totally the Kemetic name for Her anyway.  Oh wait. 
4.  Only Aset-worship could have led to the Neolithic revolution!  (I think that's what the author is trying to say, anyway.) 
5.  Jesus was actually secretly one of Her worshipers; millions of Christians have had everything backwards for two millennia now.
6.  The most important feature of anatomically modern humans is having two eyebrows.
« Last Edit: January 22, 2020, 10:31:32 am by SunflowerP »

Asch

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Re: I bet you'd like some Aset with your pseudohistory
« Reply #1 on: November 12, 2012, 10:26:38 pm »
Quote from: Snowdrop;80661
This is one of my favorite crazy websites of all time; I hope you all will enjoy it as much as I have.  

http://www.resurrectisis.org/

Some of the highlights of this person's argument:

1. Aset was once a real person and was the first anatomically modern human.  
2. If we all would just realize that we're descended from Her, the world would be fixed.
3.  Tons of words in languages that have no relationship to Kemetic are references to Her simply because they contain letters that look sort of like "Isis."  Because Isis was totally the Kemetic name for Her anyway.  Oh wait.  
4.  Only Aset-worship could have led to the Neolithic revolution!  (I think that's what the author is trying to say, anyway.)  
5.  Jesus was actually secretly one of Her worshipers; millions of Christians have had everything backwards for two millennia now.
6.  The most important feature of anatomically modern humans is having two eyebrows.

 
*giggles* this seems to be a pseudo-kemetic sister to the site about silver wolf (or was it spring wolf?) brought up in another thread...

Lokabrenna

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Re: I bet you'd like some Aset with your pseudohistory
« Reply #2 on: November 12, 2012, 10:35:05 pm »
Quote from: Snowdrop;80661
This is one of my favorite crazy websites of all time; I hope you all will enjoy it as much as I have.  

http://www.resurrectisis.org/

Some of the highlights of this person's argument:

1. Aset was once a real person and was the first anatomically modern human.  
2. If we all would just realize that we're descended from Her, the world would be fixed.
3.  Tons of words in languages that have no relationship to Kemetic are references to Her simply because they contain letters that look sort of like "Isis."  Because Isis was totally the Kemetic name for Her anyway.  Oh wait.  
4.  Only Aset-worship could have led to the Neolithic revolution!  (I think that's what the author is trying to say, anyway.)  
5.  Jesus was actually secretly one of Her worshipers; millions of Christians have had everything backwards for two millennia now.
6.  The most important feature of anatomically modern humans is having two eyebrows.

 
Darn! And here I thought it was opposable thumbs! Shows what I know!
Seriously, I came across this website a long time ago during my "New Age phase" and even then, I wasn't impressed, and I believed that dolphins from Atlantis were going to save the world.

SatAset

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Re: I bet you'd like some Aset with your pseudohistory
« Reply #3 on: November 12, 2012, 11:11:56 pm »
Quote from: Snowdrop;80661
This is one of my favorite crazy websites of all time; I hope you all will enjoy it as much as I have.  

http://www.resurrectisis.org/



Yowza.  

Israel meaning royal house of Isis (because it means Isis, Ra and El) is I think my favorite.  

::headdesk::
I am the Goddess of Who I can Become. I mix the magic of the sorceress with the blade of a warrior. I walk the liminal pathways to see the face of the Goddess, both terrible and kind. As She stares back at me, I tremble in awe and ecstasy.  --SatAset

Snowdrop

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Re: I bet you'd like some Aset with your pseudohistory
« Reply #4 on: November 12, 2012, 11:55:05 pm »
Quote from: Asch;80665
*giggles* this seems to be a pseudo-kemetic sister to the site about silver wolf (or was it spring wolf?) brought up in another thread...


That one was definitely what reminded me of this one.  Good times, all around.

RandallS

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Re: I bet you'd like some Aset with your pseudohistory
« Reply #5 on: November 13, 2012, 07:54:56 am »
Quote from: Snowdrop;80661
6.  The most important feature of anatomically modern humans is having two eyebrows.

That's certainly a weird way to look at things. Not that some of the other stuff isn't. The bit on the roman letters is also particularly odd.
Randall
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cigfran

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I bet you'd like some Aset with your pseudohistory
« Reply #6 on: November 13, 2012, 08:16:03 am »
Quote from: Lokabrenna;80666
Darn! And here I thought it was opposable thumbs! Shows what I know!
Seriously, I came across this website a long time ago during my "New Age phase" and even then, I wasn't impressed, and I believed that dolphins from Atlantis were going to save the world.

We of the Atlantean Order have been aware of your heretical rejection of this established truth for some time now, and the sharks with frickin' lasers on their heads have been dispatched to deal with you.

RandallS

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Re: I bet you'd like some Aset with your pseudohistory
« Reply #7 on: November 13, 2012, 09:50:07 am »
Quote from: cigfran;80687
We of the Atlantean Order have been aware of your heretical rejection of this established truth for some time now....

Oh no -- it's the return of the ADMs. :)
Randall
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Chatelaine

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Re: I bet you'd like some Aset with your pseudohistory
« Reply #8 on: November 13, 2012, 11:23:42 am »
Quote from: Snowdrop;80661
6.  The most important feature of anatomically modern humans is having two eyebrows.


What about people with unibrows?

Oh, wait... Instant evolution, just add tweezers. :whis:
'You created us restless, O Lord, and we find no rest until we rest in You.'
~St Augustine~
Whole blog o' nonsense: Are We There Yet?

RandallS

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Re: I bet you'd like some Aset with your pseudohistory
« Reply #9 on: November 13, 2012, 06:28:17 pm »
Quote from: Chatelaine;80701
What about people with unibrows?

Oh, wait... Instant evolution, just add tweezers. :whis:

I can see the new ads for tweezers now: "Pluck your eyebrows with Evolu-Tweezers and instantly become more evolved!"
Randall
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Jezebel

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Re: I bet you'd like some Aset with your pseudohistory
« Reply #10 on: November 13, 2012, 06:58:44 pm »
Quote from: RandallS;80738
I can see the new ads for tweezers now: "Pluck your eyebrows with Evolu-Tweezers and instantly become more evolved!"

 

Melamphoros

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Re: I bet you'd like some Aset with your pseudohistory
« Reply #11 on: November 13, 2012, 07:04:19 pm »
Quote from: cigfran;80687
We of the Atlantean Order have been aware of your heretical rejection of this established truth for some time now, and the sharks with frickin' lasers on their heads have been dispatched to deal with you.


Oh look, the ADMs are back.  Let me just get the ol' tuna net out....


Jesus saves, Allah forgives, Cthulhu thinks you will make a great sandwich.
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cigfran

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I bet you'd like some Aset with your pseudohistory
« Reply #12 on: November 13, 2012, 07:31:54 pm »
Quote from: melamphoros;80746
oh look, the adms are back.  Let me just get the ol' tuna net out....

adm?

Thorn

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Re: I bet you'd like some Aset with your pseudohistory
« Reply #13 on: November 13, 2012, 07:50:25 pm »
Quote from: cigfran;80750
adm?
Atlantean Dolphin Masters. :p

Someone who's been on tC longer than me will have to give you the whole story...
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Melamphoros

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Re: I bet you'd like some Aset with your pseudohistory
« Reply #14 on: November 13, 2012, 08:06:11 pm »
Quote from: Thorn;80752
Atlantean Dolphin Masters. :p

Someone who's been on tC longer than me will have to give you the whole story...

 
I'm not sure if I was here longer than you, but I can do better than tell the whole story.  I found the link to the original thread it came up in:

linky linky

It is an old TC in-joke (since it's from 1998 it could be considered ancient by internet standards.)  For more of The Cauldron's sordid past:

http://www.ecauldron.net/archiveoldboard.php


Jesus saves, Allah forgives, Cthulhu thinks you will make a great sandwich.
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