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Author Topic: Poor Crazy Aionia. ( Apollo and Hermes)  (Read 889 times)

AI0NIA

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Poor Crazy Aionia. ( Apollo and Hermes)
« on: May 02, 2013, 04:00:36 pm »
Hello All,

I realize I've been gone from TC for quite some time, but I thought you all might be able to help me with a bit of a dilemma I have on my hands.

Warning: I'm about to sound completely crazy and lose all credibility.

I first began being "god-bothered" for lack of a better term in high school by a spirit I have assumed to be Hermes, mostly because he says he's Hermes.

My senior year, however, I became deeply involved with Apollo. When I first began to communicate with him I tried rituals to honor the Hellenic gods including a few fairly complex rituals. He made it fairly clear that that was NOT what he wanted.

My altar he was okay with, probably, because it had a huge bust of him on it, but I began worshipping him more by studying divination, which I was eventually also told to stop doing.

After that our relationship has been somewhat on the rocks, he did a year-long disappearing act, and has then shown up sporadically for a few days or weeks here and there only to disappear again for months at a time.

Through all this time our relationship has never developed into a what I would consider a normal human/deity relationship. The only offerings I've given are the occasional poured libation, a batch of cookies now and then, and a bite's worth of some particularly delicious morsel when I can feel his presence around me.

I would have assumed that he was telling me to take a hike, but every time that I'm about to write him off he'll come back strong as ever and in the times when I've really needed him he's been there.

I've continued on with my life, over this whole time, since Fall of 2007, without much other delving into any pagan practices, though I have seemed to be a magnet for negative energy despite shielding my little heart out. As far as those around me know I am just a spiritual girl, who can be a little hippy-dippy at times.

This past week has been another time when he's come blowing back into my life. I am on a trip with my current employer, who I work for as a PA. This whole trip and the days before he has been almost super present in my life.

It's been a time of revelation for me as far as some of the past problems in this relationship and one of the revelations, just last night, was that much of the strife has been caused by my abandonment of Hermes when I first discovered Apollo.

Since this realization He, being Hermes, has been like a shadow, even as I type this he is sitting on the hotel couch content as a cat. I feel like he's waiting for me to do something, but for the life of me I can't imagine what that might be.

I'm old now, we'll older, and really out of practice. He has been fairly unhelpful as far as discovering his intentions as any time I ask him he either shrugs or beams this silly smile at me like the cat who ate the canary.

I can also still feel Apollo, in fact very clearly, but he seems to be sitting this one out, though I can tell he's more than a little irked at the situation.

 I suppose at the core of my problem is I really don't want to worship in the traditional sense, and I am far more comfortable with the sort of offerings that I've been doing for Apollo.

And if I don't plan on taking up a traditional path with Hermes, then what on earth could his role in my life be?

I realize that I probably sound way out there, but I swear I'm a normally rational person I have my own car and a good job. I'm even well educated and have seen a shrink in the past as well, obviously didn't tell her about this mess though or I'd be writing this from a padded room.
« Last Edit: May 02, 2013, 04:03:54 pm by AI0NIA »

Fionnbharr

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Re: Poor Crazy Aionia. ( Apollo and Hermes)
« Reply #1 on: July 14, 2013, 09:29:42 am »
Quote from: AI0NIA;107439

Since this realization He, being Hermes, has been like a shadow, even as I type this he is sitting on the hotel couch content as a cat. I feel like he's waiting for me to do something, but for the life of me I can't imagine what that might be.

I'm old now, we'll older, and really out of practice. He has been fairly unhelpful as far as discovering his intentions as any time I ask him he either shrugs or beams this silly smile at me like the cat who ate the canary.

 
Sorry, but this made me smirk :D If you have not figured it out yet, please feel free to PM me. I have a story to tell and then you can see whether you think I am far crazier than you or if you sense I am capable of being of any assistance ;)
Grief and sorrow grows on the far banks of the river Styx, go there and visit them and you might not find your own way back home. - Achilles

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